Title: New Year, New Start
Author: Jo. R (driftingatdusk)
Rating: FR-7
Pairing: Abby/Gibbs, one-sided Abby/McGee
Category: Friendship, fluff, romance, mild angst
Summary: His plans for New Year's Eve had been simple.
****
New Year's Day dawned cold and crisp. A new layer of snow had fallen during the night, covering the path leading up to his front door once again.
NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs considered the path over the rim of his steaming mug of coffee and decided to let Mother Nature deal with it herself. He had no plans to go anywhere and the Director had made it an order for him not to go anywhere near the Navy Yard at least until the 3rd.
For once, Gibbs wasn't going to argue.
He turned away from the window and picked up the second mug of coffee he'd set on the small hallway table, careful not to spill a drop as he carried them both upstairs.
****
His plans for New Year's Eve had been simple; join Doctor Donald 'Ducky' Mallard for a few drinks, making his excuses just after 10pm. Then he'd go home and, depending on his mood, think about starting a new woodworking project in his basement or taking one of the well-read mysteries from his bookshelf up to his room.
He'd made it home just before 11pm and had spent a good ten, twenty minutes in the house before noticing the glimmer of light slipping under the door leading down to his basement.
Gibbs had taken his gun with him out of routine, not because his instincts were screaming at him to do so. He sensed no threat and suspected he knew who was waiting for him in the basement as he opened the door and looked down into the dimly lit room.
He saw the back of her first, long black hair falling loosely just below her shoulders. He couldn't tell what she was wearing due to her position, sitting on the stairs with her arms wrapped around her legs, her chin resting on her knees.
Abby Sciuto didn't turn to face him or otherwise acknowledge him, not even when he sat beside her on the step and nudged her gently with his elbow.
"No party tonight, Abs?" There'd been no response, which had immediately concerned him. The subdued woman sitting next to him was not like the Abby he knew. "Thought you and the team were getting together at Ziva's new place."
Still no response.
She shivered a little and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, drawing her against him as she released a shuddering sigh.
They sat in silence for a while, time ticking on around them. Gibbs sat patiently, waiting for her to speak.
"He told me he still loved me," she said eventually, turning her face into him. The tip of her nose was cold against the warm skin of his neck. "He said he wanted to start the New Year as a couple because he should never have let me go."
It didn't take long for his brain to supply him with the identity of the 'he' she was talking about. Special Agent Timothy McGee had never really gotten over his failed romance with the forensic scientist sitting beside him and Gibbs, privately, couldn't blame him.
Still, something flared in his stomach. Something cold and heavy and akin to panic but he fought to keep it from appearing on his face, from being heard in his voice.
"I take it since you're here...?"
"I don't love him, Gibbs." There was a note of genuine anguish in her tone, of remorse and regret that she didn't even try to hide. "I didn't want to hurt him but I couldn't go along with it just to make him happy. I couldn't lie to him."
He felt her tears before he saw them when she pulled away, the salty moisture surprisingly warm against his neck. He tightened his hold on her even as she tilted her face up, the misery in her green eyes causing his heart to ache on her behalf.
"You did the right thing, Abs." His voice was thick, with sympathy for both her and his agent, and he let his lips brush against her cheek softly. "Leading him on would be worse than hurting him now."
"Doesn't feel like it." She clasped her hands together tightly and bowed her head again. "He asked me why. Tony and Ziva were there and it was horrible, Gibbs. It felt like I'd been ambushed."
A small coil of anger stirred inside him at the thought, at the picture she was painting. He hated the thought of her being put in that position. "What did you tell him?"
There was another small pause, filled by the sound of a sigh.
"I told him the truth. I told him I knew how he felt. That I was in love with someone else, someone who couldn't love me back, either."
The answer startled him, gave him a jolt. There was someone else...? Someone he didn't know about?
He'd accepted a long time ago there could never - would never - be anything between the black-haired woman in his arms and himself but he'd also vowed just weeks into their friendship that he'd make sure no one ever hurt her the way he feared he one day would.
"I didn't tell him who," she continued softly, either missing his reaction or choosing not to comment on it. "Tony followed me outside to make sure I was okay but he didn't ask. I think he knew. He said sorry," she added in a quiet voice, a hint of a smile in it. "He said if he'd known how much Tim was going to drink, he would've gagged him or something." She risked a glance up at him then, green eyes looking at him through dark lashes. "Don't get mad at them. Tim had been drinking and Tony and Ziva had no idea. They wouldn't have let it happen if they had."
Gibbs gave her a small nod but couldn't make any promises, not while there was visible evidence of still drying tears on her cheeks. "So you came here?"
"I knew you'd be at Ducky's." Abby shrugged, easing his guilt at not having been there for her with one simple sentence. "I just wanted somewhere to go, somewhere I'd feel safe and could think about it all." She rolled her eyes. "You're not the only one the Director banned from the Navy Yard till new year."
They let a companionable silence drift over them until Gibbs felt her shiver again. He got to his feet, his knees protesting a little at the action, and held a hand out for her. Her fingers, slender but cold, wrapped tightly around his as he helped her stand and led her up to the main area of the house.
"Can I stay here tonight?" She asked quietly.
Unnecessarily, in his opinion. He turned his head to kiss her temple gently. "You never need to ask, Abby."
The bells signalling midnight had begun to chime as she came out of the bathroom dressed in a old sweatshirt of his and the sweatpants that'd somehow never made it back to her apartment after the last time she'd stayed. She'd tied her hair back into a messy bun, scrubbed her face clean of make-up and looked impossibly fragile standing in the doorway to his room.
The spare room was full of items he couldn't bear to part with but no longer needed on display in his house anymore. He'd offered to take the couch but she'd refused to let him, and he was far too old fashioned to let her try to sleep on what he sometimes believed was his couch attempting to be some kind of new torture device.
He held out a hand for her, using it to draw her against him when she accepted it timidly. He kissed the top of her head as her arms slid around his waist, clinging to him with a desperation he'd felt from her once or twice before.
"Happy New Year, Gibbs." Her words were softly spoken and almost entirely muffled against his chest.
"Happy New Year, Abs."
He held her for a few moments, until the sound of fireworks and cheers from the party a few houses down had faded into an out of tune version of 'Auld Lang Syne'. Then he took her by the hand and led her to the side of the bed that would be hers for the night, tucking her in with the care and patience he seemed to have in abundance when it came to Abby.
He leaned down to kiss her forehead as he turned off the bedside lamp on the dresser beside her, straightening to manoeuvre himself around the darkened room to his side of the bed where he slipped under the sheets and blankets and lay on his back a respectable distance away.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been lying there, staring at the ceiling, trying futilely to get to sleep when Abby had rolled over, curling her body around his, her head on his chest.
At first he thought she was asleep, then she spoke and he realised that no, she just thought he was.
"It's you, Gibbs," she said in a half-yawn, half-sigh. "It's always been you."
He held himself still, letting her believe the lie that she'd made her confession to someone who wasn't awake to hear it. He'd waited until she'd fallen asleep herself before wrapping his own arms around her, keeping her tight against him as he stared up at the ceiling once more.
****
She was still asleep when he made it upstairs. The sight of her sprawled over his bed, her hair an attractive mess of black against the crisp white of his sheets, her arms wrapped tightly around his pillow, made him smile.
The ache he'd always felt at waking up with another woman only to find it wasn't his first wife, Shannon, didn't materialise.
Gibbs sat on the edge of the bed and set the two mug of coffee down on the small cabinet beside him. With his hands now free, he pushed her hair away from her upturned face, his heart doing a strange flip in his chest that he swore he hadn't felt since one fateful day years ago on a platform at the small train station in Stillwater.
He leaned in before he could try to talk himself out of it, brushing his lips against hers.
Abby stirred, her lips curved up in a sleepy smile even before she woke up to find him gazing down at her. "Hey." Confusion dawned in her eyes and she looked at him quizzically for a few moments. "Did you just kiss me?"
"Mmmhmm." He waited until she sat up before handing her the mug of coffee meant for her, studying her carefully as he took a sip from his own.
She'd drank almost a third of the sweetened caffeine before tilting her head to one side, the flush in her cheeks not from the warm liquid running through her veins but from the question she asked almost shyly. "Will you kiss me again?"
Gibbs smiled at her from over the rim of his cup. "At least once a day for the rest of the year," he informed her in an unfaltering, absolutely serious tone. "It's my New Year's resolution."
"Your resolution?" Her cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of pink. "I thought you had rules, not resolutions."
"Not this year." He finished his coffee and put the mug down, taking her half-full one out of her hands before entwining her fingers with his own. "It'll have to stay between us for now. After last night..." The happy smile that had been playing on her lips faded as the memory of McGee's declaration returned. Gibbs lifted her hand to his lips, lightly kissing her knuckles. "We're not gonna rub this in his face or make it any harder than it has to be for him." They both cared about him too much for that. "But I'm going to be selfish because I don't want to be without you anymore."
Her eyes were bright as she pulled her hand away only to wrap her arms around him and rest her head against his shoulder. "I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to be without you, either."
"Then you won't be." He kissed the top of her head, arms slipping around her waist to keep her close. "We'll figure it out, Abs. I promise you that."
****
End.