Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: Who else cried during Wednesday's episode? I certainly did, and wow, were Matt Morrison and Jessalyn Gilsig amazing during that scene. And it almost made me feel bad for Terri, because even though her methods were wrong, I sort of see why she did what she did now. This is inspired by that new, slightly-less-crazy-but-still-completely-zonked-in-the-head Terri that we saw in "Mattress." And, of course, this is also inspired by my undying love for Will and my tears during the ending scene of "Mattress."
Summary: He should have expected it, but he didn't. And now he has to decide: To stay or go? To give her another chance or walk away? The decision won't come easy.
Wait and See
Thinking back on it now, he should have expected it.
For one thing, she wouldn't let him touch her belly, no matter how many times he begged (and they had never kept anything from each other before then, never). And she wouldn't let him come to the ultrasound appointment, which was something she had always wanted him to attend, ever since they were twenty-three, him fresh out of college, and they were making their lives together, talking about children and their plans for the future and how they were going to have a bunch of children running around their large house. She even constructed one of those pillow barriers in the bed, and jumped down his throat when he tried to get close to her.
It was all so obvious.
The conversations between Kendra and Terri that would suddenly stop whenever he entered the room. The doctor's appointments Terri would only bring up if he asked about them first. The way Quinn sometimes looked at him when she thought he wasn't paying attention, as if she was somehow grateful to him in a way he couldn't understand. The time he had walked into his apartment only to find Terri and Quinn talking. And the hug Quinn had given him right before she walked out.
It made so much sense. Yet he had not seen it.
Because he did not want to see it, he supposed.
He loved Terri. Sure, a certain guidance counselor with red hair and mysophobic tendencies caught his eye, especially when he saw her in the teacher's lounge with Ken Tanaka, the strain between the two betrothed teachers clearly visible. But Terri was his high school sweetheart. They had met when he was fifteen, just a kid in Glee club trying to make his way through the labyrinth that was high school.
She was a cheerleader, he was in Glee club.
It was a fairytale just wanting to happen.
He remembered the day like it was yesterday. He had walked into school that first day of his sophomore year, and a certain blonde cheerleader had been in all of his classes. For the first half of the year, they only talked when necessary, during projects and group discussions that she barely participated in, but then—something changed after they had come back from December vacation.
No one was more surprised than William Schuester when she had come up to him and asked him to be her date for the winter formal.
That was the beginning.
She was Cinderella that night, all silver and lace and jewels and a glow about her that eclipsed every one else in the room. He had never been prouder to have a woman on his arm, and he went back into his room that night, the slight strawberry flavor of her lip gloss coating his lips with sweetness.
Since that day, they were inseparable. They spent the next two and a half years at high school dating, to the surprise of everyone, and then they went to college together. She got a Bachelor's degree in psychology, he got a Bachelor's in Spanish and a teacher's license, and they went back to Lima, Ohio to start their lives together.
There was nothing for a Psychology major to do in the small town of Lima, but Will Schuester had gotten the job as Spanish teacher only months after he graduated. Terri got a job at Sheets and Things, and things were perfect. They tried to get pregnant, time after time after time, and it didn't happen for so long.
But then it did.
And Will couldn't have been happier.
His dream had always been to have a huge family, daughters and sons running around the house, speaking Spanish and repeating Terri's crazy statements. That had been Terri's dream too. That was why they were so compatible for each other—they both wanted a family.
Thinking back on it now, though, he realized that was the only thing they had in common.
He should have put two and two together, realizing that their relationship was at its best before Glee club, before he started Acafellas, before he finally found something that he was good at, that he loved, before he started making a difference in teens' lives. He should have realized that Terri loved him, but she never wanted him to be a Spanish teacher. She wanted him to be an accountant, a lawyer, a doctor, something that didn't scream Will Schuester but instead screamed money, money, money to support a family.
The worst part about the whole affair was that Terri was right.
Completely right.
Their whole relationship was built on insecurity and self-doubt. He was content to do what Terri wanted, because wasn't the whole point of being in a relationship making the other happy? If Terri did not agree with something he did, he often stopped doing it. He almost stopped coaching Glee because of her, because of her "pregnancy."
He didn't, and that was the best thing he ever did.
Glee club made him feel good about himself. It made him feel like he was actually making a difference, impacting the lives of those completely different teens. He saw in Rachel the Broadway star's ambition—the ambition that would send New Directions straight to the top. He saw himself in Finn, the boy torn between two different sides of himself. And Quinn—well, Quinn was almost like Terri, the blonde cheerleader that had almost everything.
In Terri's eyes, that "damned Glee club" was a waste of time.
He didn't see it that way.
He loved it, loved it more than he could express.
But he also loved her.
Damn it, he did love her. He loved her enough to quit Glee club for her, he loved her enough to give her space when he thought she needed it, he loved her enough to tell her his worries and his insecurities. He loved her enough to give her space, thinking that she needed time alone to get used to the pregnancy.
He stared up at the ceiling that fateful night in the glow of the moonlight filtering through the cheap school curtains and wondered if Terri loved him.
Then, he wasn't sure.
Why, if she loved him, did she lie about being pregnant? He wouldn't have left her, if that was what she was thinking. He would have comforted her, then asked if she wanted to try again. He would be there for her, because he was her husband, and that's what husbands do. They side with their wives no matter what.
That night, he thought Terri did not love him. He thought she only loved herself, loved what he could bring her.
But then Emma—of all people—put it all in perspective.
She was scared. Scared of losing him, scared that they would get a divorce if he found out that she wasn't really pregnant.
"You're a lot to lose, Will," Emma said.
Maybe he was.
Will knew the solution was not going to come to him easily. Could he leave Terri? No, he still didn't think he could. He fluctuated back and forth, between she lied to me about something this huge, how can I still be with her knowing that? and with what Emma said, about maybe Terri's methods were wrong, but I see where she might be coming from.
And there was Emma, sweet, kind Emma who had done nothing but stand behind him through everything. He had already lost everything—his child, Terri, even Glee club—but Emma had always stood behind him. He could not deny the attraction was there, with her wide brown eyes and wavy red hair.
But Terri, his wife Terri, was always at the forefront of his thoughts.
And through it all, through all their trials and tribulations, he still loved Terri.
The only problem was figuring out to what extent—and then figuring out if that love could possibly save their marriage.
He supposed he'll just have to wait and see.
Author's Note: Terri's major is random, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else. I just think she'd do something a little off the wall, something not very useful. If I think of something else, I'll come back and edit this piece.
But please review and tell me what you think? First time writing Will; I hope I got it right!