Hello! Say hello to the parody of all parodies. Perfect Lionheart's Missing Hokage challenge. Just in case your not familiar with the challenge, here it is, directly copy and pasted from his profile page (Here at Fizz productions, we do things professionally!)

"There is a rather substantial sub-group in Naruto fiction. You've all read them. They are those stories where, right after trying to prevent the beloved Uchiha's defection, Konoha throws Naruto out.

I've recently become tired enough of that whole genre to issue to a challenge.

The Missing Hokage challenge.

We all know how Tsunade only returned to Konoha because of Naruto. Well, in this case, the start of the divergence is when the council starts to get all huffy, overruling her about the boy so they can banish him, Tsunade DOES NOT just sit back and take it like a little lost lamb.

If they are throwing out the reason she returned to town in the first place, she goes with him. Thus, you have the Missing Hokage, as Tsunade just packs up and walks out of town with Naruto. Shizune, Tonton and Hinata all trailing along.

But she's smart enough not to leave without first using that Hokage stamp to her advantage. 'Team Hokage' are pardoned of all past crimes, released from all future obligations, and are walking out with several notable treasures, including the Scroll of Forbidden Seals and a sizable fraction of the town's treasury - all released to herself under her authority as Hokage.

If they want to treat her family like crap, she can return that favor.

Things to happen in this challenge:

One, Tsunade took the hat with her.

Two, she takes both Naruto and Hinata on as her apprentices, after promoting both to chunin on her authority as Hokage. Naruto goes through some extreme, and probably ongoing, chakra control training, but both Naruto and Hinata start powering up, learning her strength and medical techniques.

Three, Tsunade and Shizune start studying from the Scroll of Forbidden Seals, and secrets from it are held out as rewards to the two kids for successfully completing bits of their medical training.

Four, the group goes through a period of being wandering treasure hunters, like Indiana Jones, but ninja. They can move through any countries or encounter any characters the author likes while doing this. One preferred treasure hunt is to penetrate a certain castle and RETRIEVE, not destroy, the Lizard summoning contract held within.

Five, One of the things they walked out with was Sarutobi's Monkey Summoning contract. Holding multiple summon contracts is possible, but most people have no reason to, not even having enough chakra to summon one boss, let alone need many.

Six, because of their skills and treasures (both taken from Konoha and recovered on hunts), ALL of the Hidden Villages, major and minor, are trying to get the Missing Hokage to settle down in their village. Some use fair means like persuassion and incentives, others play foul.

Seven, the Kitsune Clan bloodline from my fic, Chunin Exam Day, is available for Naruto and Hinata if you want to use it. That includes the regeneration, chakra boost, nearly prehensile tail and parabolic ears, although if you can find a way to add Wood or Ice you are welcome to them.

Eight, this should be a Naruto/Hinata matchup, though harems are also acceptible.

Back around town, the following should happen:

One, people are very upset, for any number of reasons. People, especially Team 7 (whether Sasuke was retrieved or not), who expected things to get better with Naruto gone are disappointed. If anything, stuff they expected to improve with Naruto gone are going the other way.

Two, with no one doing the paperwork, Konoha's infrastructure and mission assignments are doing poorly.

Three, in response to number two, above, the village council that drove her away eventually decides to revoke Tsunade's title of Hokage for extreme dereliction of duty (this, after her face is at least partly carved onto the monument). In her place, they appoint Jiraiya, this time successfully getting him to accept the post.

Four, Jiraiya tries to get the council to revoke their decree of banishment on Naruto. They refuse. He points out that they have now directly opposed four of the six Hokages they've ever had on this issue. The Fourth wanted him to be seen as a hero, the Third wanted him treated better, the Fifth left town with him when they banished him, and now Jiraiya, the Sixth, wants him back and they won't agree. When they still refuse, he pulls almost an identical exit to Tsunade's, leaving town with a few genin and loads of treasures to go join up with Tsunade. He takes the newly made replacement hat with him.

Five, soon after the departure of the Sixth Hokage, they appoint a Seventh: Kakashi.

Six, although Kakashi stays in town, ALL of his bad habits as a genin teacher carry over to his tenure as Hokage, and between his extreme lateness and laziness, having Kakashi as Hokage is almost no better than having no Hokage at all. The town is going to pieces, the clans are unhappy, and NOBODY can do any missions because the paperwork on everything is so far behind. Konoha literally starts going to pieces, and some factions become desperate to get one of their missing Hokages back."

Ok, go and check it out yourself! I didn't plagiarize or change anything! Next, this is pretty much directly saying "Bash Team 7!" by the whole Team 7 thinks it'll be better without Naruto. What? You're saying… you want me to bash team 7? I can do that. But I'll go extreme on this mission. Just like you, Lionheart, I'll bash Sasuke with a bat! You do it in "Chunin Exams Day" so I'll do it too! Lastly, this is not a story to take seriously. For realz yo, I really don't care what you readers think, I don't care if you hero worship Lionheart, I don't care if you don't like Sasuke, this is for MY enjoyment, if you like it, more the merrier, eh? You don't like it? I don't care. And if you flame I have a little surprise…

Anyways, story commence!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Perfect Lionheart, Pokémon, Charlie bit me – Again, Mario, The One Piece Theme Song, or F-Zero. There WILL be more added on to this.

Chapter One: I Choose You, Pikachu!!! Wait A Minute…

"All right I brought Sasuke back! Nice. Now, ignoring the fact that I totally powned this n00b, I'll proceed to get my unscratched body get beaten by Sakuma, wait, its Sakura right? Oh yes. Sakura I believe. Hahaha! There she is now! Hey Sakura!" Naruto said to himself as he shouted and greeted his Sasuke worshipper, whoops, I mean teammate, whew, saved my self there!

Sakura punched him in the face, ignoring the TOTAL plot device this he is doing, whoops, I mean she, how silly of me? Hahahahaha! But anyway, on with the story "Naruto! You jerk! You promised you'd bring him back and you did! I am somehow upset by this! FALCOOOON PUUUUNCH!!!!" She shouted as she punched our blonde protagonist in the face and she started crying at Sasuke's obliterated body cause Naruto is just THAT awesome!!! "Sasuke, what did he do you! I'll avenge your death!" She shouted as she pulled out a kunai out of her kunai pouch and charged at the awesome ninja that is clearly better then everyone.

Tsunade appeared in front of Sakura and grasped her hand "Stop you crazy fangirl! Do you have any idea what your doing! Sasuke's not dead! There's nothing to avenge! You just want an excuse for Naruto to leave! Again, ignoring the plot device, I'm going to go sulk in my office. Carry on." Tsunade poofed in the smoke and left Sakura there to kill Naruto.

Sakura shrugged her shoulders and chucked a knife in the smoke only for Sasuke to call out in a perfect British accent "Ow Sakura! That really hurt!"

Sakura got a panicked look on her face, and shouts "OMG!!! GHOOOOST!!!" She pulls a baseball bat out of her kunai pouch and starts pounding the sulky ninja and causing him to bleed even worse then he already is. Then, after the smoke passed, she shouted "No way! You're not a ghost! You're Sasuke! This is all your fault Naruto! I hate you! Leave Konoha, ignore the plot device, and never come back. No one likes you. Except Hinata and she's a stalker…"

A tree interrupted her rant and shouted "I am not a stalker you bloody fangirl!" a kunai flew out of the tree and hit Sakura in the forehead. If only she has the power of a real ninja and wore her headband on her forehead, to bad she wears her headband as a hair holder. L0L what a loser.

Sakura got a pissed look on her face and started to shout "Shut up you Hinata! At least I'm able to admit my feelings! Growl!"

Naruto looked up from his position, somehow on the ground, and said "What! Someone likes me! I am somehow in love with you Hinata! Since the villages sux and since we p0wn, let us run away together! Yay!"

Hinata jumped from her position in the tree and shouted "Let's get some money from that Hokage chick first!"

The ran to the Hokage tower as fast as there little legs could take them.

_-_Meanwhile in Mushroom Kingdom… uh… I mean Hokage Office _-_

"Tsunade! Get in here you Hokage! We wanna kick Naruto out and since according to fanfiction rule 79: The Ninja Council are evil gods who don't need the leader of there villages permission to do whatever they want. And they all hate Naruto" An intercom shouted as Tsunade sings a certain rap…

"… His names Zolo, he's like a samurai! And a L-A-D-Y Nami's not shy! Usopps doin that marksman thing! And Sanji's cookin for the would be king… wait a second… kick Naruto out! I don't think so chica! Go! Plot Device Stamp!" *Boom* Tsunade slammed a stamp that had the kanji for Plot Device on a random piece of paper that in effect, gets her money, lets her do crimes, lets her steal things, and gets her out of work. Sounds like a plan. "Yo! Shizune!"

The Hokages slave ran into the room and asked "Yes my mistress?" She bowed down and Tsunade laughed evilly.

"Yes, my pet. Gather the weird eyed one and Slashy McOrange Pants! And pack our stuff too"

"Yes master" The woman said in a strangely deep voice as she poofed a way in a flash of dark energy.

Tsunade started to laugh evilly, until she started to cough violently, "Man, I should cut down on the ciggies!"