Prologue:
Disclaimer: All the rights of Man of Steel belong to Warner Bros. and Superman belongs to DC Comics.
WARNING: SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE! DON'T READ THE STORY AT LEAST YOU'VE ALREADY SEEN THE MOVIE!
(A/E: Hey, everyone! Before to start, I wanna talk about the newest Superman movie: Man of Steel. Some people like it, some people hate it, me? I LOVED IT! This is the Superman movie I was waiting for. I loved the actors, the reinvention of the titular characters and the really awesome action sequences (it's the closest thing of a Dragon Ball Z movie, and no… Dragonball: Evolution doesn't count; this one is a piece of crap that should never be made). Is it a perfect movie? No, but I love it, not matter how many flaws it has. Anyway, this fanfic is a parody of this movie that includes the Family Guy characters. It's gonna be played by laughs and I'm gonna make fun of the flaws and plot-holes of the movie, much for the Man of Steel's haters' delight. Anyway, enjoy it!)
The story begins on a very distant planet away from our galaxy: Krypton; planet on the brink of exploding in a catastrophic way. The leading scientist of Krypton: Jor-El was helping his wife Lara, who's screaming in pain, giving birth to their son.
"I can't believe it…this is Krypton's first birth in centuries" Jor-El said amazed "This could be a sign…a sign of hope…the last hope of the planet Kry-"
"Uh…he's dead, sir…" the deliver babies' machine said.
"Damn you woman!" Jor-El cursed "That was our last hope to save our planet!"
"What?" Lara asked.
"I was going to send him to the planet Earth, so our race could be saved!" Jor-El said.
"You were planning to send our only son to a planet full of primitive brutes?!" Lara scolded.
"Hey, there're worse planets than Earth" Jor-El said.
Flashback
In the planet Oa (a planet that nobody cares); there's two Green Lantern jocks using their ring powers to give a weggie to a Green Lantern nerd.
"This is fun!" Green Lantern jock #1 said.
"Stop, it hurts!" Green Lantern nerd screamed, painfully.
"This is what you get for not wearing any underwear" Green Lantern jock #2 replied.
Flashback's end
"Wait…I got a better idea" Jor-El said.
Later, Jor-El meets the Krypton Council.
"You want what?" Lor-Em asked.
"Give me the control of the Codex, I will ensure the survival of our race" Jor-El answered "There's still hope. I have held that hope in my hands"
"How?" Lor-Em asked "You're going to give it to your newborn son and send him to planet Earth?"
"No, my son is dead" Jor-El said "But I can send the Codex to the planet and maybe a kind-hearted human will protect it"
"This is the most ridiculous plan I've ever…" Lor-Em said.
*BLAST*
The door was destroyed revealing General Zod and his forces.
"This Council has been disbanded" General Zod said.
"On whose authority?" Ro-Zar asked.
"Mine" General Zod answered "Cornelia, my sweet daughter, bring us the honors"
Cornelia appeared behind of Zod…and she looks awfully like Connie D'Amico. She pointed her weapon at Ro-Zar.
*BLAST*
Ro-Zar got shot and died.
"Thank you, dear" General Zod thanked.
"You're welcome, Father" Cornelia said "I never liked this old lady bitch"
"What are you doing, Zod?" Jor-El asked "This is Madness!"
"Madness?!" General Zod asked "THIS…IS…SPARTA!"
"What?" Jor-El asked confused.
"Sorry, wrong movie" General Zod answered "These lawmakers, with their endless…"
"And boring" Cornelia added.
"…debates, have led Krypton to ruin!" General Zod said.
"And if your forces prevail, you'll be the leader of nothing!" Jor-El replied.
"He got a point, Father" Cornelia said "This planet will be destroyed anyway"
"Oh yeah? *confused* Well…ah…shut up!" General Zod demanded "Take him away!"
As Jor-El is being marched away by Zod's men until R2-D2 (because, this movie owns more Star Wars rather than the Superman comics) appeared.
"Out of the way!" Tor-An ordered as Jor-El nodded his head slightly "I said…"
But R2-D2 used a burst of light to give Jor-El his chance to strike at the two men holding him and manages to take them down, take their weapon and shoot them.
"Get me Lara" Jor-El said as a holographic version of Lara appeared on Kelex "OH GOD!"
"What?" Lara asked.
"You look fatter as a hologram" Jor-El answered.
"I gave birth to a dead child; what did you expect?!" Lara replied.
"Anyway you have to ready the launch"
Outside, Jor-El saw the chaos ensuing around the planet, he called his Mountain Banshee (it also owns Avatar), that landed before him. He hopped on its back; he took out his ponytail with pink tentacles, put in his Banshee's ear and flew off to the central hub, where all Kryptonian babies are kept (no wonder why these Kryptonian women stopped giving birth in an old-fashioned). He swam to the central hub to retrieve the codex. As he got out of the water, he's confronted by the Millennium Falcon.
"Jor-El, by the authority of General Zod; surrender the codex" Han Solo said through the microphone "He's gonna pay me a lot of money; enough to save my ass from Jabba"
"*Wookie roars*" Chewbacca roared.
The ship shot at Jor-El, who missed it by jumping down as he fell down on his Banshee and flew off to the citadel where Lara was waiting for him with the small ship. He puts the Codex inside of the ship.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Lara asked "What if the supposedly good-hearted human never find the Codex?"
"It will and if he or she does, he or she will be a God to his species" Jor-El answered.
"And what if the good-hearted human is NOT good-hearted at all?" Lara asked.
"*Nervous* Eh…there's no time, the planet will be destroyed any soon!" Jor-El answered as he leaves an 'S' key on the ship "Please, choose the right human who can carry our hopes and dreams"
"What is that?" Lara asked.
"A memory key that will make a hologram version of me, so my subconscious can guide the human" Jor-El answered.
"Did you make one of me?" Lara asked.
"*Nervous* Ah…you wanted one too?" Jor-El asked.
"*Facepalm* Argh; why did I marry you?" Lara asked "I should have listened to my mother when she met you!"
*BLAST*
The door was destroyed revealing General Zod and his forces.
"Why you're such a dick to the doors?" Jor-El asked.
"Cornelia lost her mother, because of a door" General Zod answered.
"Anyway, it's too late already" Jor-El said "I'm sending the Codex to a planet and you'll never find it!"
"Then is treason…" General Zod said as he prepared his knife and attacked Jor-El; but he defended himself.
"Now, Lara!" Jor-El told as Lara pushed the button that launched the ship.
"NOOO!" General Zod screamed in fury as he impaled Jor-El with his knife, but Jor-El did the same.
They both died, making Lara ran towards Jor-El's dead body and kneeled beside him, crying. Cornelia did the same with her father. Furious, Cornelia went to Lara and strangled her.
"Where have you sent the Codex, bitch?!" Cornelia asked.
"Away…beyond your reach" Lara answered.
Suddenly, the council's forces appeared to arrest her and Zod's forces.
"Lay down your weapons, your forces are surrounded" Council Force said.
Cornelia and her forces are brought before the council.
"Cornelia, daughter of General Zod, for the crimes of murder and high treason, the Council has sentenced and your fellow insurgence to three hundred cycles of schematic reconditioning" Lor-Em explained "Do you have any last words?"
"You believe the Codex is safe?" Cornelia asked "You believe a good-hearted human will find it to make peace? I will find it first. I will reclaim what you have taken from me and my Father!"
She's pushed away by the council's forces.
"I will find it, Lara, I will find it" Cornelia said "I WILL FIND IT!"
"Wow, she overreacts like her father" a council force commented.
But Cornelia and her forces are frozen and sent to the ship that will carry out their sentence.
Krypton was consumed by its destruction and it was obliterated, at the same time we see the ship holding the Codex heading toward Earth.
End of the Prologue