Monster
"You were my conscience
So solid, now you're like water
And we started drowning
Not like we'd sink any farther
But I let my heart go
It's somewhere down at the bottom
But I'll get a new one
And come back for the hope that you've stolen"
I can't think of anything else than Snow's visit and the last words he said to me before he left. I know that when I go into the Quell, I won't come out a second time. He's made that very clear.
Everyone in the arena is surrounded by water. Luckily, I can swim. We are all trying not to drown in the fear of what these Games will bring.
I'm still disoriented and scared after seeing Cinna being beaten in front of me in the Launch Room and then dragged away. He will most likely be dead soon. As much as this bothers me, I can't dwell on it. I must let my heart go and sink to the bottom of this ocean before me. I have to only use my brain and survival instincts to drive me. I might be able to get my heart back and regain the hope of saving Peeta.
Snow hasn't won yet. Seeing Cinna was just him trying to distract me, maybe so much so that I let my guard down and die sooner.
"Now quite Snow" I think. "I'm still here"
"I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster, eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we survive?
Well, now that you're gone, the world is ours"
The Capitol is a place full of monsters who take pleasure in watching children die. They justify it by saying it's our fault, the Districts' fault, for rebelling. They eat us alive, torture us. Sometimes I wonder how some of the Districts even survive. If what Gale says about rebelling ever happens, then we would be free. If only...
"I'm only human
I've got a skeleton in me
But I'm not the villain
Despite what you're always preaching
Call me a traitor
I'm just collecting your victims
And they're getting stronger
I hear them calling, calling"
I am the face of the rebellion, the Mockingjay. How can I cause so much, I'm only one, feeble human. Snow and the Capitol have portrayed me as a villain and a traitor since the berries. I didn't even mean for it to be rebellious, but anything close will cause Snow to react.
But the rest of Panem saw that act's true meaning and see me for who I really am. My face and the Mockingjay rally the victims of the Capitol's horrendous acts. I hear them calling, Rue's call, the song that will forever resonate in my mind and soul.
"Well, you thought of strength and solutions
But I like the tension
And not always knowing the answers
But you're gonna lose it
You're gonna lose it"
You bombed my home, reducing it to rubble. If it wasn't for Peeta's warning, most of 13 would be dead too. You fought against us rebels with everything you had. Do you feel the tension, control slipping through your fingers? You're going to lose this war President Snow, you are going to lose.
"I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world
From turning into a monster, eating us alive
Don't you ever wonder how we survive?
Well, now that you're gone, the world is ours"
I am more determined than ever to win this war, especially seeing what Snow has done to Peeta and Finnick. I must stop these mutts, these monsters threatening to eat us alive. I'm surprised I've survived this long.
I hear you are now dead, finally gone from this world. You can't hurt anyone anymore. Now that you're gone, the world is ours.
