A/N: Hello! This is my first foray into writing Spirk and Star Trek, but the prompt above inspired me to produce my first fic in over a year, so I figured what the heck, even if you all hate it at least it got the creative juices flowing again. This is the crackiest thing I've ever written and though it doesn't follow the prompters wishes to the letter I do hope you enjoy it Anon! Oh, and not beta'd, but if you see anything let me know and I'll make corrections. Reviews are always welcome.

"Come on, Spock you can tell me." Jim wheedled, "I'm your best friend. I won't judge anything you have to say."

"You and Nyota have spoken about the dissolution of our relationship several times. Unless you believe her statements to be untrue I see no reason to discuss this topic further." Spock moved his eyes from Jim's, redirecting his focus to their game.

"Well, it's not that I don't believe her, it's just that...well, uh..," Jim rarely hesitated in anything, so his unwillingness to proceed with his statement forced Spock to bring his attention fully back to Jim's face.

Spoke noted that he looked to be rather lost. Perhaps Nyota had not as fully informed Jim of the issue has he had anticipated. "She did inform you that I am not, in fact, sexually mature yet and that as a result she decided to end our relationship to find a more suitable partner." Jim fidgeted in his chair, scratching at the hair on the back of neck as he struggled to find his words. "She did," He conceded, "but she didn't really go into detail. I mean, what are we talking here? Do you get hard? Have you ever had a wet dream or jerked off?"

"Jim!" Spock could feel the blood rushing to his face, so he forced himself to calm down and distance himself from his embarrassment. He noted that Jim seemed frozen in the process of making a hand gesture that Spock believed was associated with self-pleasure. He exhaled slowly before he spoke, "I understand your curiosity on this topic and would be glad to provide you with some insight to Vulcan maturation and sexual development, but only in the abstract. I have no wish to discuss my personal life."

"Oh, okay. Hit me." Jim sat forward placing his elbows on the small table between them, his face and posture reminded Spock of his time teaching at the academy and so he began what he was sure Jim would call a lecture on Vulcan Biology 101.

Sometime later...

Jim was deep in thought as Spock concluded his brief, well relatively brief, introduction to Vulcan sexual development. "Now, if that has satisfied your curiosity, I would rather we continued our game and left this subject behind."

"Oh, sure," Jim nodded to the game sitting between them. Spock had no more than laid his eyes on the board before Jim spoke up, "But you're part Human, are you really saying that hasn't influenced your sexual development at all?"

"Jim, the game." Spock chided gently.

"Sure, sorry." Jim said as he quickly put his focus where it belonged.

"You do know about human sexual development, right?" Spock looked up from his PADD to find Jim still reading the one in his hand.

"Of course," Spock quelled a small ache as he remembering the gentle tone in his mother's voice as she spoke to him about the changes his body might experience as he matured. "My parents and physicians made sure that I was fully informed about human and Vulcan development."

Jim nodded as he continued reading his PADD. Spock wanted to go back to Ensign Chekov's shift report from Engineering, but he wished to know why Jim persisted in bringing this subject up, despite their discussion several evenings past. "Permission to speak freely, Captain," Jim lay his PADD down quickly as he turned his full attention to him. "Granted," He said, rather enthusiastically.

"May I ask why you are so fascinated by this particular subject?" Jim's face went through several distinct phases before settling. "Well, because you're my friend and as a friend I want to know that you are happy and satisfied in all parts of your life." Jim nodded, apparently satisfied with his answer.

"I am very content in my life and my work, Jim. You needn't worry yourself."

"But how can you be fulfilled, if you don't even know if you can to get off?" Jim's head lolled back against the headrest of his chair.

"I am sure when my time comes..."

"What if the time is now, Spock?" Jim's head shot up. "What if you are missing what might be the best sex years of your life just because you think you're supposed to wait for this biological imperative to kick in? I mean have you even tried to?" Jim was making a rather crude hand gesture to illustrate his point.

"Jim, you know very well that Nyota and I were involved romantically,"

"And she didn't do it for you, but that might not mean what you think it means." Jim acted as though his words should make sense, but Spock had to replay them several times to suss out Jim's meaning. "You believe that my failure to become aroused with Nyota may involve factors other than my biological makeup?"

"Exactly! I mean I know she's hot, don't get me wrong, but maybe she doesn't do it for you. How would you even know what you like if you've never experimented on yourself or with someone else. Maybe it was biology or maybe it was just good old fashioned incompatibility?"

Spock allowed his posture to relax somewhat, "Jim, I must say your hypothesis does hold some merit."

"I could help you out!" Jim volunteered, his eyes were shining with excitement and his smile showed all of his teeth. "With your experiments, I mean, if you're going to do experiments. I could you know lend a helping hand." Jim was making a new hand gesture, which sent Spock's blood rushing in several directions at once. He took 2.4 seconds to catalog this response as it had not happened when discussing sexual activity with Nyota.

"Thank you, Jim. Your assistance could prove vital. I'll set up one of the physiology labs for us this evening."

"A lab, sure, a lab sounds great. Just send me the time and place and I'll be there with bells on."

"So, you've actually designed a bunch of experiments. Oh, is that tubing, why would we, never mind. What do you want to try first?" Jim was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he spoke, his hands flexing into fists.

"Well, I've already taken several readings, though I must admit I am at a loss to explain the results." Jim's face transformed as his nervous energy disappeared. "A loss, what does that mean? Is something wrong?"

"No, quite the contrary, Captain, if anything they may indicate that your hypothesis holds more merit than I had originally thought. My hormone levels seem to have risen steadily since our discussion earlier in the day and as the time for your arrival came nearer I noted a change in blood flow to my sex organs." Jim's smile spread across his face slowly as leaned one hip against the table Spock had set up to hold the medical equipment.

"You mean you got turned on thinking about me coming down here to get you off." Spock froze for a moment wishing that Jim had persisted in his use of hand motions instead resorting to such vulgar, yet strangely exciting, language.

"It seems so," Spock trailed off as Jim sauntered closer.

"Vulcan biology, my ass." Jim said dropping to his knees a few scant inches in front of where Spock stood motionless, or to be precise, motionless except for the blood rushing through his body toward his groin.

"Jim?" He tried for scolding in his tone, but it came out as more of a panicked hiss. "What are you doing?" Jim quirked a doubting eyebrow at him, that Spock had to agree he probably deserved. "I'm going to see if you're hard," Jim began to tug at the zipper of Spock's fly, "and if you're into it," Jim opened the front of Spock's pants, "do some hands on research," Jim pulled at the elastic of Spock's briefs freeing his fully erect penis. Jim gently clasped the base of Spock's, his face shining with excitement as their eyes met. Spock had just enough time to note that Jim was quite attractive for a human before gasping as the muscles of his lower stomach and penis spasmed forcing ejaculate out of his body and onto Jim's waiting face.

"Ow, Fuck," Jim flinched back, closing his eyes tightly, as his body attempted to protect itself several seconds too late. Jim's exclamation and pained expression brought Spock quickly out of the fugue state he had slipped into before, during and immediately following his ejaculation.

"Jim, are you alright?"

Jim was attempting to stand, pressing one hand on a table to give himself some leverage, even has wiped furiously at his right eye with the other. "Fine, I'm fine. Should have expected that, being your first time and all. Everything's...God that is really stinging. I don't suppose there's any saline solution in any of these test tubes?"

"There's an emergency sink and shower." Spock quickly tucked himself away and took Jim by the arm to lead him to the sink. He started the tap and took a washcloth from stack by the sink.

"Ugh, I think some got up my nose too." Jim said before quickly inhaling to clear his nasal cavity. Spock chided himself for not being quick enough to warn Jim against such action, noting internally that sexual release seemed to have slowed his reaction times somewhat. "Do you think you are experiencing an allergic reaction?"

Jim regarded him through one eye, "Allergic, no! No! Just eyes and semen not a good combination and to be honest," Spock gave Jim the moistened cloth and retrieved another, "that kind of had some force behind it. You must have been saving that up for a while." Jim chuckled.

"Should I call Dr. McCoy?"

"God, no! If I called him every time I got body fluids in places they shouldn't be the man would never get any rest." Jim was wiping his eye carefully, moving closer to the sink to rinse out his cloth.

"Are you sure you're alright, Jim?" Spock put his hand on Jim's shoulder. It felt shockingly intimate perhaps because Jim had just had the hand attached to that arm on Spock's penis 1.42 minutes ago. Jim took a break from his wiping and blinking, making sure to catch Spock's eyes with his. "Like I said, it stung, but give me a minute and I'll be good to go again."

"Again?" Spock couldn't stop himself from focusing on Jim red-rimmed eye, which led him to think about Jim's eyes and how happy and excited they'd been when Spock had mentioned the changes in his hormone levels and blood flow. "Jim, does your interest in my apparently burgeoning sexuality, intersect with an interest other than your previously stated interest in my welfare and happiness?"

"Uhm, well, if you're going to go through puberty, not to flatter myself or anything, but you couldn't have a better friend than me." Jim's smile was smaller than usual as his eyes dropped to study the cloth in his hands, "And, yeah, I do have an interest in you Spock, that is maybe more than friends and if it's okay with you I'd like to explore that too," Jim waved his hand, "along with the whole sex thing."

Spock's mind worked quickly, but even the most mentally fit would need a moment to process the changes that his body and mind were experiencing at the moment. "But, it doesn't have to be me, I just thought, but if you want to try things again with Uhura...,"

"Jim, please, let me have a moment," Spock insinuated himself into Jim's personal space as he spoke, a hand coming up to cup the side of Jim's still moist face. He noticed some of the redness receding from Jim's retina and felt a sense of relief that he seemed to be recovering quickly. "I would take this journey with no other at my side, Jim." Spock could feel the minute movements of the muscles under his fingers as Jim's smile took it's more traditional and welcomed form. "Really? That's awesome. Really awesome. So..." Jim placed a wet hand over Spock's, "you wanna help me get the cum out of my hair?"

The End