Author: Tasha Miller
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; if I did Hogwarts would be full of gay characters!
Authors notes: Well this is probably the first Harry Potter fic I've written which isn't Hermione/Ginny.
This is just a Pansy POV stream of consciousness sort of fic, my friend Katy might be writing a companion piece from Draco's POV. I'll update these authors' notes with a link if she does.
I didn't want to get married as soon as I graduated from Hogwarts. But that's the way things go. Our parents had arranged the marriage years ago anyway. We had no say in it. Luckily Draco and I agreed on a few things. Neither of us was attracted to members of the opposite sex, so that made things easy. We married for our families and had our own affairs on the side. Draco even looked into a mugggle science. Artificial insemination. Draco jerked off into a cup and they stuck it into me. An heir without the un-pleasantries of intercourse. I despise my life. I'm expected to stay at home, manage the house and raise our son. Not allowed to work, I have to socialise with all the inbred pompous pure bloods. We have hired help and everything and I'm expected to stay home. Every so often I do get a night to myself. Hit the clubs, get trashed get laid. I learnt relationships are pointless. I've fucked girls from all four houses of Hogwarts, and from other schools. I did try some relationships, but the naive girls wanted me to leave my husband. I'll be damned if I ever leave Draco, the stain on my name is not worth it. My family is rich and powerful; a fake marriage is no problem to keep that. Besides it's only a matter of time until Potter convinces Draco to leave. It's the things like that that make me despise Draco. His loving relationship, the job that he loves. Draco has a surprisingly caring centre. He is good to our son, Apollo. I love the stupid brat, but he really is just another sufferance in this life I'm forced to live. I wouldn't dare to try escape; I've been brought up too well. I just sometimes wish I had the kind of love Draco does, so pure. Will all my conquests, all my drunken fucks. I've never captured even the tiniest drop of the happiness Draco holds. I hate him for it.
I look down at my cup and around the bar, Draco is laughing with Harry in a corner. I look back at my drink and skull it back. It burns, the hard liqueur searing down my throat. Nothing like alcohol to dull the pain. "It's not in the bottom of a bottle" A dreamy voice speaks in my ear. I scowl at her. Loony Lovegood.
"What?" I spit out, knowing I really shouldn't take the bait.
"Happiness, or whatever your looking for" she replies
"I'm looking to get shit-faced so I think what I'm looking for is in the bottom of a bottle," I growl back. She just smiles, that stupid vacant smile of hers. She leans in close, I can smell her, I feel a rush go my head, the booze is infecting my brain I think. Her smell is infecting my senses.
"Do you think what your looking for is in my bed?" The way she speaks, it almost sounds like a genuine question, rather than a proposition. I'm a little confused. Not sure if she does mean what I think she does and not sure why I seem to want to go.
"Maybe we should go look" I reply. She nods and leads me out. I don't know if it's just a night of sex, I'm not sure if she's propositioning me for something more, but Luna may just be in the right mind space to accept my life, and right now, I think that's all I need.