The song is "Biggering" and you can find it here:
watch?v=BpgUQYARIsw
Obviously, I don't own anything, but I did change the lyrics a bit.
Also, there is a bit of language, but, considering Saints Row, it's to be expected.
The Boss, or rather, the President, sat in the middle of the Oval Office. Today was the day he was to be inaugurated. Normally, the President was not allowed to use the office beforehand, but the Boss never really paid any mind to the rules if there was something he wanted.
It was a pretty crappy day for an inauguration. There as a thunder-storm outside. He was advised to reschedule the ceremony, but the Boss would have none of that.
What kind of President would he be if he let nature tell him what to do?
The room was dark. There was not a lot to do, so the Boss decided to reflect on how he got to where he was. Or rather, what drove him to get it.
"At first I didn't realize
I needed all this stuff,
I had my little Row,
And that Row was enough."
He laughed to himself, thinking about the Saint's old HQ. They were tight, but they lacked something important.
Ambition.
"A place I could chill with my gang,
A place we could plan our misdeeds,
But now I've had a little time
To re-assess my needs."
The Boss stood up and walked around the office. He made a gesture to each thing he mentioned.
"And I need a bigger office,
I need a bigger chair.
A bigger desk, a bigger gun,
A bigger pin to wear."
He stopped in the middle of the office, arms spread wide, facing the window.
"Because I'm biggering,
I'm biggering and biggering,
And biggering is triggering
More biggering!"
There was a clap of thunder. The Boss began to move back to his seat when he saw a ghost.
It was Gat.
And he looked pissed.
The Boss shook his head. He was about to become President. Of course he was a little stressed. That stress could reasonable build up to a hallucination of an old dead friend.
He remembered back to one of the last times he saw Gat, when they were in the cell after the robbery. Gat was fed up with how much the Saints had sold out. They were no longer the street gang they used to be. They were hallow puppets of who they used to be.
The ghost began to speak in Gat's voice.
"Now listen up, Boss.
I'm going to say this once, and I ain't gonna repeat it.
Greed can be good in small doses,
but if you feed it too much,
it will consume you and everything you care about!"
The Boss respected Gat on so many levels, but he had to disagree with him on that point.
Imagine if they had stayed a small street gang in Stillwater. Where would they be now? Small scale drug running? Drive-bys? Be stuck as nobodies who would one day die in a gutter in a random shoot out?
No.
They could do more.
Why run a street when you could run a city? A country? The world?!
The Boss began to turn leave the office. He attempted to pass through the Gat Ghost oust of spite, but found that, when he made contact with it, it became solid. Odds are it was just a thing his mind was doing. He was almost at the door when Gat spoke up again.
"But...no, you can't really blame greed
No, that's stupid."
The Boss stopped.
"See, it's gotta worm inside.
And, fucking A,
It's one that always needs to feed,
And it's never satisfied.
You get it?
And the more you feed it,
The more you lose yourself.
You begin to forget where you came from."
The Boss's eyes glanced at the name on his desk
President The Boss
He wasn't even using his real name.
"Cause of a fucked up thing called 'pride.'"
What was his name?
Was it possible he had forgotten it after all these years?
Johnny shouted the last part at him.
"Now that's why you're biggering!
Listen here, Playa!
I'm sick of all your biggering!
Because all that biggering is triggering more fucking biggering!
Got that?"
...No.
He didn't need that name.
That was the name of a nobody.
The day he became the Boss was the day he began to matter.
He walked out of the Oval Office, the Gat Ghost following him at a distance. However, the rest of the Saints-no- his Presidential Staff began to surround him, thus obscuring his view of Gat.
There he stood, in front of thousands of reporters and citizens of his new country. The Boss know that, had he not taken the risks he had in the past, he would not be here. There were pivotal point where he could have stayed a simple gang-banger, a simply gang leader, a simple icon. He was ambitious enough to know that he could do more.
The first choice, the choice to be caught up with the Third Street Saints, had been taken away from him the moment he was shot by a stray bullet. He had followed the path fate had started him on.
The new leader of the free world stood before his people, who were waiting on edge to hear his speech. In the back of the crowd, the Boss could see the Gat Ghost glaring at him.
The Ghost had already gotten his word in. It was time for the Boss to rebuttal.
"There is a principle of nature,
That most every creature knows.
It's called survival of the fittest,
Yeah and this is how it goes.
The animal that does what it takes
Gets to live without a hitch.
And the animal that doesn't
winds up someone else's bitch!"
The Boss grabbed the podium, outright shouting at the ghost of his fallen friend that only he could see.
"The Saints are an animal,
That's trying to survive!
Struggling, and fighting,
Just to keep ourselves alive!"
There was another clap of thunder as the Presidential light show began. Purple lights began to flash throughout the sky.
"And that's why I'm biggering,
I'm biggering and biggering,
And all this biggering is triggering
More biggering!"
A large purple spotlight flashed on the White House, coloring it completely purple.
"I won't stop!
Biggering,
I'm biggering and biggering,
And biggering is triggering more biggering!"
The new American Flag was revealed. Instead of stars, the Saints logo. Instead of red, purple.
Gat looked at him, his expression changing from rage to shame to something the Boss thought was worse.
Pity.
How could he not understand?! He had everything he could ever dream! Everything the Saints could ever want!
"And my enemies are frying,
And my money's multiplying
And my PR people are all lying
And my lawyers are denying!"
He thought of the ungodly amount of bodies he had left in his wake.
"Who cares if people are dying?"
The Gat Ghost began to waver, before completely disappearing.
"I don't want to hear your crying!"
The Boss stared into the crowd. At all the flashing cameras.
He had achieved so much.
"This is all so gratifying!"
And this was just one country.
Soon, the world would be decked out in Saint's purple.
And, maybe then, the Boss would have no regrets.
This one...this is kinda weird.
I'm not really sure how to describe it. It takes what I think is an interesting different look at the Boss's character and motivations...and puts it to song.
Although, after hearing about the cut Bollywood ending to SR4, it's not that out-of-place. I think the big difference is the tone.
Is it dramatic? Is it a parody?
One of the bigger reasons this is so weird is, not only is it a musical fic, but the song is from the Lorax. Yes, the Lorax. I thought of this while trying to fall asleep, so that might explain it. I don't think it requires a crossover, so i only put it in the SR page.
I tried something new, and it may or may not have worked.
Leave a review if you want. I personally feel a tad iffy about this one.