Debts Repaid

Yes, I know. You've been waiting for this for a long time - I believe I promised it last year? This is SS19's take on the posthumous Albus and Severus talk, an angle I am finally happy with. Enjoy, enjoy!

A three chaptered fix, dedicated to all those who have asked for this scene from me! ~ SS19

Part One:

The serpent's venom was channelling through his bloodstream, paralysis beginning to set in, weariness making his limbs feel heavy. His eyes fluttered closed and he could feel his final breaths tightening in his chest. There was a rushing noise in his ears and he could hardly feel the ground beneath him - he was aware of his hand hitting the floor, and the presence by his side leaving. There was a noise - a voice above the rushing - but he paid it no heed. He was waiting for the scaled hand of death to take his, to lead him away, to spirit him to a world where he hoped there could be no pain, where he could finally close his eyes and rest -

There was silence and brightness - bright white - warmth yet not heat - comfort yet not luxury - surrounding him. With a breath that was more a gasp, his eyes opened and he blinked in the white light. Footsteps shattered the silence and pressure against his left arm as fingers brushed against his cheek and he blinked again. "Severus?"

He knew that voice. How he knew that voice. "Albus…" He didn't sound quite right, it was as if the syllables were disjointed and did not wish to blend together. He was struggling to see - and none of his limbs would work, either too heavy for him to move or too light for him to recognise. Instead, he was pulled into a cradling embrace and finally Albus answered him, "Severus. Not quite gone yet, then."

Severus frowned and swallowed, "Is this - am I -"

Albus hesitated. "Not yet."

Severus didn't like the sound of that. "What do you mean, not yet?"

A hand soothed his forehead and he recognised the texture of the gnarled fingers, "You are in the middle. Part of you still clings to life in your mortal body in the Shrieking Shack. Fawkes is with you - he's trying to save your life, on my command."

Severus just wanted to let go. "What…I don't want…"

"I am a terrible person, Severus. I asked you to walk to your death when you did not deserve it. If anyone deserved to survive this war - it was you. Harry has viewed your memories in the Penseive, he knows that you were mine and he knows now that you were a hero. He will tell others, and your name will be cleared and your reputation restored." Albus' voice was thickened with an emotion Severus did not have the strength to decipher, he was simply shaking his head, "I want to die - let me go - let me choose something, for once - " He could see Albus finally and saw tears lingering in those blue eyes, "Is this to ease your conscience, Dumbledore?"

Challenged outright, Albus did not respond immediately. He simply looked down at Severus, "I wanted to fight for you. I wanted you to live. I wanted someone to survive."

"You forced me to walk to my death, Albus. You cannot cheat this fate."

Albus accepted that. "No, I cannot. But you can - and I know that you do not simply want to die, because if you did, you would not be here with me now. Your body is fighting that venom and is trying to pull you back. I do not know which part of you is with me - most likely the heart that I broke, several times - but this is not right, Severus. You need to live - you have so much left to accomplish - you are only thirty-seven…"

"Thirty-eight." Severus corrected. He could taste metal at the back of his throat. "I am thirty-eight years old, I did everything you commanded, let me rest."

"Please, Severus. Please consider - please understand - I could have chosen to send Fawkes to anyone - there are so many more injured and wounded - but I want him to save you. Let me repay my debt to you. Voldemort will never return once he has been destroyed - you will be safe - and you can do those things that you never had the time to do because someone else - some cruel puppet master - was controlling your strings. Understand that I know how I have hurt you - and I know what I did to you - and please try to comprehend that I just want to try to make things better." Albus sounded more upset now, and Severus felt evermore tired. "And what if I refuse?"

"You can refuse. Your body can die and you can move on." Albus lingered over the words, "I just wanted to give you another chance."

Severus could feel it. He was not quite here, and he was not quite there - and the idea of being able to complete his research was tempting - how cheated had he felt, when he had realised that night in Albus' office just what fate would await him? How angry had he been at the portrait Dumbledore when he had realised that Albus wanted him to die - to die so he was able to move his pawns further around his chessboard - he needed a sacrifice. A distraction. That was all Severus had been. The harsh words they had exchanged, how Severus had accused him of being nothing more than his captor - how Albus owed him a great debt. He had apologised, not soon after - when he had seen the hurt on that painted face and had known it could not be an act. Albus was human after all, he was just very good at hiding his own emotions. He stared up at his mentor, his once leader and the man who had asked him, quite plainly and openly, to give his life for a cause. "Debts repaid?"

"Give me a chance to make it up to you, Severus. That is all I ask. That is all I deserve." Albus dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment. "This is for you. It's the last part of my will. The Ministry would never have let you see it, so I kept it - I tore it off - it's signed and countersigned - but it's for you. I never stopped thinking about you, Severus. I know it feels like I betrayed you and your trust and your confidence but please know that if I had a chance - I would have put myself between Voldemort and you."

There was something in his words that sounded genuine, and in the end, Severus chose to trust him. He nodded just once, and let Albus tuck the parchment into his fingers. "Was anything real between us, or was it all corrupted by the war?"

Albus' smile was sad. "You were my greatest achievement. Now I want you to achieve something of your own - something that is not of my making." He brushed the wayward hair from Severus' face, "Thank you, my boy."

Severus' eyes fluttered closed, and he could hear Albus no more.