I do not own glee. Credit for the characters to their respective creators.
Warning: BEYOND fluffy. I may or may not continue this ~
A thin girl with red hair and unsure stature stood in front of the McKinley High Glee Club. She was short, wearing careworn jeans and a long-sleeved baseball tee. Ms. and Mr. Shu stood behind her.
"Guys," Said Mr. Shu, "This, is Sami. She just transferred a couple of weeks ago, and Mr. Pilsbury thought it best that she joined us for a little while."
I pulled a little at the edge of my sleeves and tried to smile at the fourteen blank-faced teenagers in front of me.
"Well, can she sing?" Came an incrudiculous voice from the back of the room. A girl dressed in tight jeans and a smirk asked.
"Santana," Said a boy in the front of the room. He looked vaguely familiar to me… like the remnants of a long-forgotten dream. He had blonde hair, green eyes and … that mouth..? I was sure I'd seen him before.
My mind flashed back years ago, laughing in the field behind my mom's house with my best friend – Sam Evans.
We'd known each other since as long as we could remember, then. We liked to think that we were 'in love' and 'got married' under a giant oak tree on the dingy playground behind our old elementary school.
"Excuse me..." I said, after I realized the room had been quietly staring at me, "You're name wouldn't happen to be… Sam, would it?" His face broke into that grin, that special grin that was all his own. Of course it was him!
"Sami – I can't believe you remember me! Where have you been? –" He was getting up and hugging me, and I was laughing, and completely not remembering anyone around us.
"How could I forget you, Sam? After all the stuff we did?" I laughed.
My best friend. It had been – what? – Eight years? I laughed.
"Oh my god, I never thought I'd see you again!"
Someone behind us coughed.
"Sam, would you like to, um, introduce us?"
"Oh – uh – yeah. This is Sami, guys. We – we grew up together actually. She moved away in elementary school because of – um – well... Some stuff." He gave me an apologetic look. I nodded.
It was okay, I had come to terms with my mother's death years ago now…
He cleared his throat, "She has the best voice though!" He said, squeezing the arm he had kept around me.
"Um… well actually… I kind of. Stopped singing." I said, my face burning.
"What, why?" He said, turning towards me, "What about all those songs you used to sing, with ..?" Comprehension dawned on his face. "Oh. Okay. Well… um …" He looked at Mr. Shu and Ms. Pilsbury, unsure of what to say next.
"Um, that's okay. Sam, why don't you and Sami take a seat, and we can get back to discussing what we are going to sing at nationals?"
Sam nodded and guided me towards the students who stood gaping at us through the entire conversation. "I'll introduce you to everyone later…," He whispered in my ear. I nodded.
I pulled away and took a seat next to Sam. He smiled at me, encouragingly. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.
We sat near the back, now, and he slid his arm around me. "So, where did you go after... after Tennessee?" I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Trying to catch the conversation everyone knew we must be having.
"Um... I went to, Virginia first, I think, and then… North Carolina. And the Massachusetts and New York, and then here. No, wait; I'm missing a few..." My eyes darkened as I thought of all the homes I'd been through...
It seemed like everyone in my family was going through a hard time. Nobody wanted an extra mouth to feed. I was dull and unresponsive with the loss of the two people closest to me…
I remember the lonely nights, lonely years, I spent, just wondering… why me? And why can't I be with my best friend? Nobody wanted to befriend a scrawny red-headed girl who transferred in the middle of the year.
He raised his eyebrows, "Your family gets around," I smiled and laughed.
"We try," I said. Eight years, and he sat here, chatting to me like it had only been yesterday. "Staying with an aunt now… she seems nice."
"Really, that's good. So, you… you think your going to be here awhile, Smiles?" He said, grinning slyly at me. 'Smiles' was his nickname for me, because he said that even though it was just me and my mom, I would always come to school with a smile on my face.
Well, Mom and I were happy together, crappy conditions and barely making ends meet… we were happy. And no matter what, we had food and clothes, even if the electricity went of every once in awhile.
"Well, what about you?" I said, "How did you end up here, how is your family?"
"Well, Stacy and Stevie – "
"Wait – who?"
"Oh, right that was after you left, I forgot. You know, we've missed so much of each other's lives, but… I feel like you've been there the whole time."
"Yeah… me too. Well, not that I now have a younger brother and sister, I take it?"
"Yeah, 'cause Mom had her heart set on a girl after, you know... So…" I smiled.
"Sounds like your mom."
"Yeah." He looked down, half smiling.
"You know, you have not changed a bit?" He said.
"Really? On the contrary, I think I've changed quite a bit." I drew myself up, even then I was half a head shorter than him. He laughed.
"Do you guys need to leave …?" Asked a thin boy in a stylish white sweater. The entire room, again, had their eyes on us. I shuffled nervously again.
"Sorry…" I mumbled, lowering my head to not make eye contact with anyone. I felt their eyes boring into me, like so many schools before. I felt the familiar sensation of not fitting in all over again…
"Actually," Said Sam, "That would be great, Mr. Shu, can we …?"
Mr. Shu nodded, though looked a little surprised that Sam actually asked. Sam proceeded to stand up and walk to the door.
I sat rooted to the spot, a little bit scared and shocked. Sam came back, rolled his eyes, and pulled me up.
"C'mon, nobody is going to judge you for walking…"
Sam dragged me out into a hallway, before pulling me into another hug.
"I just can't believe it's you!" He said into my hair.
"I can't believe its you either!" I laughed, "I thought about what might happen if I saw you again, but I never thought, you know, that I'd acutally get to see you again!" He gave me a squeeze.
"I thought about it every day," He said, before pulling away. "This is incredible!" I smiled and shrugged.
"I guess we're just lucky." The soft click of a door closing snapped our heads in the direction of the choir room.
"… Oops." I said, smile still painted across my face. He smiled even wider.
"Oh, I cannot wait to tell my mom that you're here!"
"How is your mom, though? You never said."
"Well… she's good." I raised my eyebrows.
"I want to see her." I declared.
"Well, she won't be home until late…" he said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"Sam, what are you not telling me?" He smiled impishly.
"Can still tell, huh?" I smiled, stepped foreword and slapped his stomach lightly.
"Of course I can." I grabbed his arm and dragged him to an exit.
"Now, what are you not telling me." I said, pulling him to where I had parked that morning.
"Well… we moved here because my dad got a good job offer…"
".. yeah?"
"And, well, he got laid off. Our house was repossessed. My entire family is now living in a motel."
I turned to face him,
"Oh," I hugged him, yes again, "Sam, I'm so sorry."
"Its okay," He said, "Its only temporary." He added firmly. I nodded and pulled away.
"I still want to see your mother," I said with a smirk. He rolled his eyes.
"There never was any stopping you," He said, putting his hands in his pockets and giving me that look. My memory flashed back again, and I saw before me the little first grade Sam.
"You have not changed at all…" I said fondly. He brushed a piece of my hair behind me ear.
"I'm afraid if I'm not touching you, you'll disappear." He said, watching that one lock of red hair, "I'm afraid I'm just having this dream again,"
"I know," I stared at his face as If I wouldn't ever get enough. "I missed you so, so much, Sam." I hugged him again. "If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up."
We found his mother back at the Evan's motel room, under a heavy stack of job applications.
"Hey mom," Said Sam, entering before me, "I've got a surprise for you."
Mrs. Evans looked up, green eyes quizzical. "Shouldn't you be in school, Sam?" She said.
"This is more important." He said, I bit my lip to stop from smiling. He poked his head out the door and beckoned me inside.
"Hi, Mrs. Evans." I said shyly. "Do you… do you remember me?" She stood frozen to the spot, mouth dropped open.
"Oh, Sami," she said, getting up and hugging me. "I thought we'd never see you again! You should have seen Sam after you left, had nothing to do with himself, that one–"
"Mom," Sam said, embarrassed, "I think we can leave the elementary school horror stories out of this one,"
She smiled, "Yes, yes of course, oh Sami! How are you? How have you been?"
"Good," I said, lieing through my teeth. It was scary how easily I could lie these days… "I've been really good."
Two small children came running in through the open door, saying "Mommy, mommy!"
I smiled at Sam.
"Is that…?" He grinned and nodded, picking up the small girl.
"Stacy," He said, "This is Sami."
"Is she your girlfriend?" She asked loudly. I laughed and took a step foreward, but found I was hindered by the small boy hugging my leg.
"Oh, hi," I said bending down to him, "What's your name?"
"Stevie." He said. I looked up at Sam, smiling.
"Hi Stevie, I'm Sami."
"Hi Sami, are you going to sex my brother?" I laughed at Sam, "He is just like you," I informed him, turning back to Stevie, I tweaked his little nose. "No, I'm not."
"Oh," he said, "Who are you,"
"Just a friend." Sam set down Stacy, who then ran to meet me too.
"Hi," She said, stopping a short distance away and waving at me. I took a step closer, and knelt down in front of her.
"Hi, Stacy," I said, "What were you just doing out there?" She held out a small boquet of weedy – looking flowers.
"They're beautiful," I told her, "Now, go give those to your mother," I said, and whispered in her ear, "It works like a charm."
She smiled at me and ran to her mother. I stood up.
"Mom, Sami and I are going to catch up," Said Sam, putting his arm around me. She smiled at us, Stevie and Stacy climbing all over her.
"Okay, sweetie. Bye Sami, come back soon!" I waved as we backed out of the room.
"Well, she sure missed you a lot..."
"You know, I really thought you all would forget about me?" I laughed. He elbowed me lightly.
"How could I forget you?" he said, echoing me earlier.
All I could do was smile.
I sat in the middle of the floor of the Attic bedroom my Aunt Anna had given me. It wasn't very well furnished yet, she apologized, and I had come on short notice. There was a simple bed against one wall, with a desk across from it, and shelf next to that.
Well, that's all I needed anyways. My few possessions were scattered about the room as I had generally unpacked. Sam was currently walking around my room, picking them up, smiling, and making comments.
"Oh, you read all these?" Said Sam, thumbing through a Harry Potter book fondly.
"Yeah," I said.
"Hey… Sami."
"Yes?" I smiled.
"Ms. Pilsbury said you joined Glee club because of 'problems'…"
I winced a bit, getting walking over to him, "Well... you know how they say foster kids have a, u,m list?" I said. He nodded. I gently pulled back the paper cover of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone to expose the hard cover, "Well, that's where I kept mine."
I revealed the front over completely marred with the marks of the many foster homes I had occupied. He whistled.
"Not even all of them," I said grimly, flipping to the back cover, which was half as tarnished as the front.
"Hey - wait. Is this ..?" He said, taking off the paper cover, and examining the actual cardboard cover. I nodded enthusiastically, glad for a reason to steer away from my, 'uh, problems.'
"Yeah," I said, "It's the only thing I kept,"
"They didn't let you keep much, from what I remember…"
"No, well," I hesitated, maybe this was going too far …? "I, um, I kept this too."
I pulled a tarnished silver locket out from under my T-shirt. He grinned at me.
"That's not…?" I nodded, blushing a bit. He took a step closer and opened it. On one side was a picture of me and my mother. I had pressed quickly into the other side, the morning child services came to get me, a tiny butter cup...
"Well, if you put it under your chin, and it's yellow," I told Sam, "That means you like butter. If it isn't yellow, then you don't."
"People don't like butter?" he said, confused.
We were sitting on our usual crest of the field just above where a creek gave way into the woods. I was holding a pale yellow flower my mother told me was called a 'buttercup'.
I smiled and held it under his chin. "Well you don't!" I said, looking under his chin, as I held the flower close to his throat.
"Yes I do!"
"Well, my flower says otherwise." I said, standing up and smiling at him.
"But, I had butter just this morning!" He said, appalled. "And it tasted alright."
"Hm, are you sure?" I said, "Let me check again."
I checked again, to no avail.
"But I swear I did!" I considered him carefully, not having pulled away from examining under his chin.
"Hmm." I said. I pressed my lips briefly to his. He let out a cry of alarm.
"What was that?" He said when I pulled away.
"I was checking your lips to see if they tasted like butter." I said matter of factly, "Mommy told me it was a kiss. She said when a boy and a girl love each other, they kiss, like that."
"Oh," He said, "Well, I love you Sami."
"I love you too, Sam." I said, "And you lips definitely taste like butter." He smiled, and this time he kissed me.
There was a call in the distance, as my mother called us in for lunch. We broke apart.
"C'mon," I said, dragging him back to the house...
He ran his fingers over the flower lightly, and I knew that we were thinking about the same thing.
I gave a small smile.
"It was a while ago…" I said. Suddenly, the room felt smaller than it had just a moment ago, and Sam seemed so close. His face was just inches from my own. I didn't dare breathe.
We both stood frozen, so incredibly close, with the same terror in our eyes.
I'd kissed guys, before… I even dated one for a while, before I was moved to another foster home...
But this... this felt different. It felt like something more. Something wonderful and tingly yet terrifying at the same time.
Sam seemed to come unfreeze the minute I came to my conclusion. He snapped the locket closed and took a step backwards.
"So, um, do you plan on singing something?"
My expression immediately unlocked. "No," I laughed.
He frowned at me. "Sami, you have an amazing voice. Or you once did. And I know it's still in there somewhere…"
"Sam," He didn't understand. He didn't know how much singing hurt me. "I was nine when you last heard me sing."
Besides... I only sang with my mother. Period.
He sighed, "I know you must miss her still," he said, "But she would want you to sing."
I gave him a pleading look.
"Do you remember that song your mom used to sing to us?" He asked. I nodded.
"I know you still know the words…" He said, smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back when he smiled at me like that…
"You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley"
He stared singing. It was my mother's favorite song that she sang to us almost daily…
"You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold"
He gave me a half smile that said: you can feel free to join in at any time…
"So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold"
One thousand memories came rushing back to me. Mom, washing the dishes while singing at the top of her lungs. Sam and I sitting at the table, doing simple first grade homework, and pretending to have trouble. Sitting out in the field, watching the stars, hearing nothing but this song in the distance…
I felt tears stinging my eyes. I backed away from Sam, "No," I whispered, "No… I can't."
He took a step closer to me.
"Yes, you can." I shook my head, and I kept backing away.
"No," I said, turning my back to him.
"Sami," He said, putting a hand on my shoulder, "I get that this is somewhat traumatic for you… but please. Let me hear your voice one more time. I've been wanting to for so long…"
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall.
"No," I whispered, "I just... I can't…"
END OF PART I