I'm here without you, baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind,
I think about you, baby,
And I dream about you all the time. 3 doors Down – Here Without you
Here Without you
It's so, so, so cold. His absence is physical. I no longer see him. His face is in my mind all of the time, though. Death and destruction and hurt; it's everywhere I look. People are hurt, people are dead . . . and people are lost.
That night in the cabin wraps itself around me every night. It fills the cold with perishable warmth – but only for a second. Then it comes back. Then the cold is around me, suffocating me to the point that I can't breathe.
I feel older, even though my birthday isn't for another three days. I feel like I should be my mom's age. Aging. Worn. Hurt. closer to death with every breath she takes. I feel so, so, so old. I'm not even eighteen yet.
I wonder if he's thinking about me . . . mourning me as I am dead. That's the way I'm mourning him. I wonder if he misses me. Why would he miss you when he can substitute love for bloodlust and cruelty?
I have no answer for the voice in my head. I'm stuck for what to think to it – to make it shut the fuck up. I want it to shut up.
I'm without him. But . . . but I'm strong. And I know what I've got to do. I promised him, and Rose Hathaway keeps her promises. I hope.
A short little drabble-ly kind-of thing that was inspired by the aforementioned song. I really like this one-shot, kind-of proud of it really. You see, I never thought I'd be able to write a VA one-shot, I only thought I'd be able to write AH stories. But I really like this. I hope you do, too. Review and tell me if you like it – or hate it – as much as I do. :)