Note: This is my first attempt at a song fic. The song is Keep Trying by Utada Hikaru, the english lyrics. It was originally posted on my Hetalia Roleplay Forum and I thought it'd be nice to post it on here. If you're interested in looking at it where it was originally posted and reading some of the other ones some of the other members posted send me a PM. :)
He sat at the table and drank his morning tea, the gloomy Spaniard on the opposite side of the table. He knew it was wrong to have forced him into the marriage, but the Spaniard would get over it in his spare time. Right now, he had work to be done for his military.
I don't care about anything
Putting on a face like, whatever
I was praying the whole time
Asking for too much
I can't be satisfied easily or gently
That's why I keep trying
Coming out of his office he saw the Spaniard playing guitar. The little Italies danced in the middle of the room, Veneziano and Lovino both smiling for once, and the Spaniard also smiling. This was the first time in a long time he'd seen that smile.
An ten o'clock comedy show
Recovering my energy after work
I don't like being alone
That kind of thing is important, I think
He stood by the door, feeling like a stranger in his own house. He knew that the Spaniard didn't like him, and he felt like he was intruding on that happiness if he entered the room.
It's a lot more tiresome than last year
The prize that only challengers receive
I want it
He watched on as soon the Spaniard stood, also dancing with the small boys, playing his guitar in an upbeat way. Roderich felt a stab of pain through his heart.
I don't care about anything
Even if I'm a little late from here on out
I'll press on
Any time I anticipate it
Aren't I like an idiot
That's why I keep trying
He entered the room and took a seat on a nearby chair, watching in silence. He smiled faintly as Veneziano stopped and tried coming over. He wanted Roderich to dance to, but his dancing brother pulled him back into a Dosado and again they were dancing and laughing.
The truth is I'm hungrier than anyone
Even hiding my confused feelings
Every morning a mirror reflecting my weak, true face
I want to destroy it
He felt another pain through his heart as he watched on. They were so happy over such small things. Would he ever be this happy? Was there ever a possibility that the grumpy old Austrian would share this happiness? He didn't know, but the real question was, did he deserve it?
Wishes in a moon-filled night, they're beautiful things
But let's become the target, let's jump in the mud
Lady, let's go
After many hours of singing and dancing, Little Lovino and Veneziano soon fell asleep. It was dark outside and the Spaniard was tucking the two into a large bed. Roderich stood on the balcony, staring at the large moon reflecting back on the days events. Did he really deserve anything?
"Roderich?" The Spaniard came out, joining him on the balcony.
"Hm?" He wiped away at his eyes, sniffling a bit. When he'd begun crying is beyond him, but he didn't want to be seen like this.
I don't care about anything
While deciding on a cool pose
To tell the truth, I was fighting
Precious life
You who I've grown to like
Relax just a little bit
"You ok?" The Spaniard rested a hand on his shoulder. The Austrian nodded, keeping his eyes adverted.
"Just thinking." He whispered.
"About what?" The Spaniard pushed on, leaning against the railing.
"You were happy in there, the first time I'd seen you smile since the wedding. Italy was happy. Lovino...was happy." He choked a bit. Antonio didn't say anything he just stared. "Do I get to be happy to?"
Time is money
Don't tell me you plan on becoming a government official
You have dreams, don't you?
Love rather than money
Even if your darling is a salary man
That's okay, if there's love
Spain smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "You have every right to be happy, mi amigo. You're just going at it wrong. You don't need money to make you happy, or laws, you just find it in the ones you're closest to."
I don't care about anything
Putting on a face like, whatever
I was praying the whole time
Asking for the impossible
More and more I can't be satisfied
That's why I keep on trying
"What is it you find your happiness in?" Roderich questioned, looking at the Spaniard.
"Hmm...my happiness? Having my health, Freedom, and someone to love. Money is so trivial. But as long as I can see and hold onto my little Lovi, and see him happy, then I'll be happy."
Drifting here in the world
The ebb and flow is intense isn't it
At any time, you're the only one
Whose value doesn't change
Roderich nodded, then smiled gently, letting the tears fall from his eyes freely now. Such simple things could make someone happy. Only a true heart could experience it.
"Ay dios mios, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?" The Spaniard gasped pulling away. Roderich laughed lightly, crying harder.
"No, everything you said was right. And, I think that tonight, it wasn't sadness I felt when I saw you three smiling. I think it was your happiness effecting me. Seeing you three happy, made me happy." He looked off towards the livingroom. Standing in the doorway to the balcony was little Italy and Lovino, staring with concerned expressions.
"Mr. Roderich?" Smiling Roderich walked over and picked up the little italian and held him lovingly, smiling wider when the small boy smiled and cuddled him. Toni followed after, picking up his Lovino. Together, they sat on the couch, holding the Italian brothers in their arms until the boys fell asleep. This was true happiness.
For boys it's always
Always unrequited love
Passionately, passionately
You can't put a price on it
Dad, keep trying trying
Mom, keep trying trying
Older brother, Mr. Conductor, Ms. Bride
Keep trying, trying
For boys it's always
Always unrequited love
Passionately, passionately
You can't put a price on it
Dad, keep trying trying
Mom, keep trying trying
Older brother, Mr. Conductor, Ms. Bride
Keep trying, trying
For boys it's always
Always unrequited love
Passionately, passionately
You can't put a price on it
Dad, keep trying trying
Mom, keep trying trying
Older brother, Mr. Conductor, Ms. Bride
Keep trying, trying