Hmm. Wrote this when I was 12- 'tis a worrying testament to my lyric
writing abilities at that time
Disclaimer: unfortunately do not own any of the rocky horror characters.
Do you reckon they sell them on e-bay?
The handyman lyrics
Who can freak the humans, On a rainy night. Singing' "flow morphia slow, let light into my life"? The handyman? Yes the handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause he wears fingerless gloves.
And an old black tailcoat toooooooooo
Who can f*ck his sister,
Using two elbows?
Lives in an old castle where no one really goes? The handyman? The handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause his eyes are red like blood And magenta's his love.
The handyman eliminates,
everyone he hates,
Frank n Furter and Colombia, Threatening with a pitchfork phaser, Fryed them later with the laser.
Who can do The Timewarp,
pissed to the extreme? Worryingly skinny in a jacket that's unclean,
The handyman? Yes the Handyman can, the handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause he gave us The Timewarp,
and made the world sound good,
And the world sounds good,
'cause the handyman thinks it should.
Original lyrics
Who can take a sunrise,
Sprinkle it with dew?
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The Candyman, the Candyman can,
The Candyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
Who can take a rainbow,
Wrap it in a sigh?
Soak it in the sun and make the strawberry lemon pie
The Candyman? The Candyman can
The Candyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
The Candyman makes
everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious.
Talk about your childhood wishes.
You can even eat the dishes!
Who can take tomorrow,
Dip it in a dream?
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream,
The Candyman? The Candyman can, the Candyman can
The Candyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
And the world tastes good
'cause the Candyman thinks it should
Suggestions for improvements to lines, verses, the whole thing, welcome. So are flames- its cold in England.
Nota bene: can anyone think of any Christmas songs that would parody well for Rocky Horror, or has anyone written any?
The handyman lyrics
Who can freak the humans, On a rainy night. Singing' "flow morphia slow, let light into my life"? The handyman? Yes the handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause he wears fingerless gloves.
And an old black tailcoat toooooooooo
Who can f*ck his sister,
Using two elbows?
Lives in an old castle where no one really goes? The handyman? The handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause his eyes are red like blood And magenta's his love.
The handyman eliminates,
everyone he hates,
Frank n Furter and Colombia, Threatening with a pitchfork phaser, Fryed them later with the laser.
Who can do The Timewarp,
pissed to the extreme? Worryingly skinny in a jacket that's unclean,
The handyman? Yes the Handyman can, the handyman can,
The handyman can 'cause he gave us The Timewarp,
and made the world sound good,
And the world sounds good,
'cause the handyman thinks it should.
Original lyrics
Who can take a sunrise,
Sprinkle it with dew?
Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two
The Candyman, the Candyman can,
The Candyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
Who can take a rainbow,
Wrap it in a sigh?
Soak it in the sun and make the strawberry lemon pie
The Candyman? The Candyman can
The Candyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
The Candyman makes
everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious.
Talk about your childhood wishes.
You can even eat the dishes!
Who can take tomorrow,
Dip it in a dream?
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream,
The Candyman? The Candyman can, the Candyman can
The Candyman can 'cause he mixes it with love
and makes the world taste good
And the world tastes good
'cause the Candyman thinks it should
Suggestions for improvements to lines, verses, the whole thing, welcome. So are flames- its cold in England.
Nota bene: can anyone think of any Christmas songs that would parody well for Rocky Horror, or has anyone written any?