WARNING: There is a character death in this.
AN1: I know that I already have a fic out, but this isn't going to develop into a multi-chapter fic. It's just something that I already had laying around written up for about a month, and I needed to type it. I just.. I had to. Writers block is killing me, and I thought that if I got this out it would disappear. This is only a two-shot fic. All mistakes are mine. Don't be too harsh. (:
Days go by I'm here without you
I'm missing all the things we shared
But I won't cry
I will not worry about you
In my heart you'll always be there
Can you hear these simple words I say
A million miles away
Callie walked over to the driver side of the car and got in the car. Putting on her seatbelt and turning on the car, she rolled down the passenger window to find a very annoyed looking Arizona standing there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot on the ground.
"Really, Arizona? Really? You're not even going to get into the car?" Callie said in frustration. Standing there silent for a few moments, Arizona let out a sigh and opened the car door. As she got in and put on her seatbelt, she slammed the door.
Callie clenched onto the steering wheel, aggravated with Arizona's behavior. "Mature, Arizona. Very mature." She said with the roll of her eyes. Arizona looked out of the window in order to hide the tears that were threatening to fall out of her eyes
Staring at Arizona for a few minutes, Callie let out a soft sigh and pulled out of the hospital parking lot and started making her way home. The ride had been silent for the most part, making the 30 minute drive seem much longer than it usually was.
"Why…?" Callie heard come from the other side of the car in a soft tone, barely above a whisper. Turning to look at Arizona, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What?" she asked, not sure of what Arizona was talking about.
"Why did you cheat on me, Callie?" Callie looked at Arizona for a brief second before turning her attention back to the road. She stared in shock, not able to believe what she just heard. Cheat? Callie.. Callie would never cheat on Arizona.
"Wh..What? Arizona, I didn-" Arizona's head snapped over to look at Callie, anger hurt and sadness evident in her eyes. "Have enough respect for me to tell me the truth, and not a lie, Calliope." The way Arizona said Callie's name, so laced with hurt and pain, made Callie wince and her heart drop.
Clenching on the steering wheel tighter, she shook her head. "Arizona. I never cheated on you." Callie said, her voice dangerously low. Arizona scoffed, rolling her eyes and staring at Callie.
"You didn't cheat, hm? You didn't cheat?" She asked, her words harsh and laced in sarcasm. "Yeah, I didn't cheat." Callie responded, ignoring the sarcasm in Arizona's voice. "Yeah, well that's not what the nurse who you've such good friends with says." Arizona mumbled under her breath. "The nurse who you are all so buddy-buddy with." She said, her voice slightly louder.
Arizona turned back to look out of her window, not saying another word. Callie's eyes narrowed as she drove down the dark road. "Are you talking about Aly?" she questioned, waiting for an answer but never receiving one. "I never slept with her. Or anyone else for that matter." Callie said, growing angrier by the minute.
"Yeah, well that's not what she said, Callie." The use of her nickname let Callie know that Arizona was serious about this. "I see how you are with her at work.. I.. I see it, so don't tell me that you never slept with her, or that you didn't cheat on me. Because she told me, Callie. I didn't have to pry it out of her, she told me. She told me that she was tired of feeling so guilty of-of sleeping around behind my back. And she told me." Arizona said, tears falling freely from her eyes now.
Callie was shocked at this revelation, and wasn't quite sure how to feel. She couldn't tell if it was the fact that Arizona believed that she would cheat on her, or the fact that she would believe someone else's word over hers.
Callie bit down on her bottom lip to keep the tears from coming. She knew that things had gotten bad between them, but not so bad as to Arizona believing that she would actually cheat on her with someone else.
There had been silence in the car for two minutes, and it was deafening. Clearing her throat, Callie decided to break the silence. Well, if you really believe her word over mine, you still don't know me after 6 years of being married, and 8 years of being together. Unless… Unless you do know me, but you just don't trust me." Callie said, her voice laced with fear, and sadness.
Arizona sat quiet in the passenger seat and Callie let out a scoff of disbelief. "Wow… really? You don't trust me." She said, hurt that Arizona hadn't said anything to deny that she didn't.
Instead, Arizona still sat silent staring out the window. "Maybe if you don't trust me… If you don't trust me then we should take a break from each other." Callie said in a quiet tone. Her voice filled with disappointment.
At this, Arizona snapped her head to look over at her wife. "Wh.. Callie? We can't just take a break! We're married. We have two kids together." Arizona said, aggravated that Callie even brought up the possibility of taking a break.
"Well, if you can't even trust me then maybe a break is wh-" Suddenly cut off by a screech of tires, Callie stops taking and Arizona screams "CALLIOPE!" She pointed to the side of the window, but by the time Callie turned her head from the road to out of her window, it was too late.
The last thing Callie heard was the sound of the screeching tires and a car honking its horn. The last thing she saw was the blinding lights before the other car collided with theirs.
After the crash, all that could be heard by Arizona were the alarms of both cars beeping. Callie lay unconscious on the air bag, and in the distance she could hear the faint sound of an ambulance. Arizona turned her head slowly, in an attempt to look at her wife.
"C…Ca…Callie" she croaked out, her voice barely above a whisper and coming out hoarse. "I'm so.." she coughed, her eyes closing. "…sorry." She managed to slip out. "I…love…you." She spoke before slipping into a state of unconsciousness herself.
Callie stood there looking in the mirror. She was a ghost of herself. She had fought to be strong throughout this whole process, but now she couldn't make herself move. This was really it. This was really happening. They were putting her wife in the ground. They were burying her.
A knock on the door startled Callie out of her trance, but she still didn't dare look away from the mirror. Wiping away the tears that had fallen earlier, she composed herself. She couldn't break. Not now. "Yeah.. I'm.. I'm coming. I-I'll be right there." She said, moving to the door. Her voice was hoarse and she could feel the tears threatening to spill once again.
Opening the door she was met with the only one who could understand what she was going through. The person who since the love of her life passed away was the only person who could get through to her in her darkest days. "Teddy…" she breathed out, as Teddy moved swooping Callie up in a hug.
The tears that Callie fought so hard not to spill came pouring out. "It's time to-" Teddy started before she was interrupted by a hand going up. Callie had her eyes closed and she nodded. "I know.. I know."
Grabbing her purse, she looked back into her room, her vision blurry with the tears that had filled her eyes. Teddy put an arm around Callie and led her out of the house and into her car. As Callie sat in the passenger seat, she flinched subconsciously. Her wife was gone. She's gone. And now Callie was going to bury her. Nothing felt real. She leaned against the window, and stared, wondering how she was going to make it without Arizona.
Finally reaching the church, Callie took in a deep breath. Getting out of the car, and opening up the passenger side, Teddy guided Callie inside. People started to form a line in front of Callie. "I'm sorry for your lost" and "She's in a better place now" came from everyone as they either shook her hand or hugged her. But those words of comfort fell on deaf ears.
Before she knew it, she was staring into the eyes of her in-laws. "Callie" Barbra Robbins whispered, her tone somber and a tight sad smile on her face. She pulled her into a hug, knowing that no words needed to be said.
Callie hadn't cried since being in the church, promising herself that she would make it through. Promising that she would stay strong for her children. Releasing Callie, Barbra smiled at Callie once again between going to sit next to her two grandchildren.
Colonel Daniel Robbins now stood in front of Callie in his Class A uniform. He had a stern look on his face, but the sadness in Callie's eyes softened him. He placed a hand on her shoulder and stared into her eyes. Callie's eyes glazed over and she sniffled. Nodding, her father-in-law went over to sit with his grandchildren and his wife.
Finally getting down to the last person who had wanted to get their two cents in and sending their best wishes, the service finally started. Callie felt numb. She sat there listening, but not understanding what was going on. Then it was time.. Time for her to saw a few words about the deceased. To say a few words about her wife.
She had been told that it was okay if someone else did the eulogy. That she didn't have to put herself through it. But she wanted to do it. She needed to do it.
Taking in a deep breath, Callie stood up. Her body was shaking. Not in fear or nervousness, like it would have been in the past due to her fear of public speaking, but because of the sadness that she felt.
Moving up to the mic, she stared into the crowd. There were faces of so many lives that Arizona had touched and changed. She went to speak but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and tapped on the mic. "He-hello? Hi." She said, her voice shaking.
Taking in a deep breath, Callie moved to speak again. "Hi. As you all know, I am Dr. Callie Torres. Or, Calliope as Arizona would call me." She smiled to herself at the thought and stopped speaking for a brief moment in order to gather her thoughts.
Looking down, tears pooled in her eyes as she went to continue. "The first time I met Arizona, she kissed me in a dirty bar bathroom. I was just getting over this heart break, and she walks in saying…saying that people talk. And that there would be people lining up for me. Then.. Then she kissed me." A tear fell out of Callie's eyes as she brought her hand to wipe it away.
"Then… After that, she called me a new born. Because I had only ever been with one other woman before her." There were a few chuckles from the crowd as she spoke, and Callie smile at the memory, hearing Arizona's 'Yay!' in her mind.
"I went up to her one night at Joes, and I told her about all the experience I had.. And I made a fool of myself." She paused as she let out a slight laugh. "She was on a date." Laughter erupted from the audience, allowing her a moment to relax and calm her nerves down.
"She'd be so proud of me right now. Seeing me up here, in front of all her friends, family and speaking…" She trailed off as she looked up at everyone. "Everyone knows how terrible I am at public speaking." Once again, everyone laughed. The memory of Callie speaking in their mind.
The smile that had been on Callie's face slowly slid off as she continued with her speech. "It took me a long time and a lot of pain for me to find Arizona. And it was even harder staying with her… But every single moment is worth it… Every single moment was worth it." She said, her words being caught in her throat as she realized her mistake.
Callie's shoulders slumped as her eyes glazed over. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to handle this like she had originally thought. "I lost more than a wife because of this car accident. I lost a best friend. A confidant. My children lost their mother. My in-laws lost their second child. I lost.." her voice broke and tears started spilling out as she looked up trying to compose herself. "We all lost a gift to the world."
Callie looked down as she tried not to break down. Her composure falling quickly. "But with everything we'v lost.. I know that Arizona is in a better place now. I know she wouldn't want to stay hooked up to a machine and I know.. I know right now that it's hard." Once again, her voice broke. "It's so…so… hard, but I have to learn how to let her go." She wiped away the tears that was now free falling. "I thank her for all the love she gave to me, and for saving me. She was my strength for carrying on. And even though she's gon-" her voice got caught in her throat, and she couldn't stop the tears from coming now. "Even though she's gone, I still leave the light on."
With that, Callie stumbled off the stage and back into her seat. The moment she sat down the reality of it all came crashing down on her, and she broke. Her body shook with the heartbreaking sobs she let out, and she let the sadness consume her.
As the service came to an end, everyone started making their way to the cemetery. Callie sat there, frozen in her seat crying silently. She stared at the spot that her wife's coffin laid no longer than 5 minutes ago. "Hey." Came a soft voice. Callie chose to ignore it, not ready to face the reality of it all. Not yet.
"Cal, we're going to be late." Mark said, his tone soft and understanding. He looked at her with sad eyes, realizing, but not fully understanding, what Callie had lost. "I can't." she said, shaking her head, her voice barely above a whisper. She shrugged her shoulders and pointed to the spot where the coffin had once laid before dropping her hand back to her lap.
"I can't." she repeated, her voice broken and tears falling. Mark moved in front of her and nodded. "Yes you can, Callie." He said softly. He broke the connection that Callie had with the spot, and it made her look up at him.
Callie looked at Mark, and the sadness in her eyes was enough to break anyone's heart. "You have a son and a daughter who lost their mother today. To beautiful children. Two kids that see you broken, and see you sad, who see you lost. Two children that need their mother to stay strong for them because they have already lost one mother, they don't need to lose another." He said, the gentleness of his tone gone.
At the mention of her kids, Callie felt a pang of guilt. Though Sofia and Tim weren't old enough to understand what was going on, they knew that one day Momma was there and now she's not. "Oh god…" she said, looking past Mark.
"I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad, Callie. I told you because I need you to go there, go to the cemetery and be the mother your kids need right now. Believe it or not, you need them as much as they need you." Callie bit down on her bottom lip and nodded, blinking the tears away.
Looking back up at Mark, she attempted, and failed, to smile at mark. He patted her on her back and offered his hand. "Ready?" he asked, seeing her demeanor had changed. Callie nodded and sniffled taking his hand. "No… But it's not like I really have a choice."
Offering a sad smile Callie moved and they made their way out of the church, not looking back.
AN2: Before everyone freaks out and screams at me, wondering what was the point of the first part of this… You'll get the explanation in the last part of this. Originally it was going to be a one-shot… But then I decided to just make it a two-shot. The other part should be up later today, but if not today I'll try to get it tomorrow. Well, I hope you enjoyed and yeah. (: