4

Home, Sweet Home

The Following Takes Place Approximately 12 hours after day 6

Karen Hayes hit the send button again and put the phone to her ear. It went straight to his voicemail; the phone was off. Karen shut the phone and placed it in her purse. She sat down heavily on her luggage and looked around the airport, no longer expectantly, but sadly. She looked up at the clock which read 10:00pm and rubbed her face sleepily. She hadn't slept in almost two days; she could never sleep on planes, the engine kept her up.

"Excuse me ma'am is there something I can help you with?" A baggage assistant approached her kindly.

"Oh, I'm waiting for my husband to pick me up. Except…I don't think he's coming."

She sighed and looked up at him, smiling slightly. "I could actually use some help getting this outside so I can get a cab."

The man smiled back. "Sure ma'am, I'll help you." He lifted the two suitcases and Karen followed him out. She flagged a cab and he helped her in.

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate it."

"You don't have to thank me, ma'am. It's my job." The man tipped his hat and walked away and Karen had to bite her tongue to keep from crying.

Karen sat back and looked up at the ceiling of the car. She closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep but she was too agitated. Why was Bill suddenly ignoring her calls? She had let him know that they were off the hook and free to resign together and he seemed happy…yet he hadn't come to get her. Karen opened her eyes and looked out the window. It had started to rain.

"It's been one helluva day huh?" The cabbie glanced back at the dark circles under Karen's eyes through his mirror.

Karen nodded. "It sure has."

"Happy to be heading home?"

Karen sighed and muttered, "I hope so…"

The cabbie stopped talking when he realized she was preoccupied, and kept his concentration on the wheel. It had started pouring now and Karen could here thunder in the distance.

As they neared home, Karen's agitation grew and she felt herself begin to sweat. She tried to rub her palms on her dress but it didn't work. She attempted to smooth down her hair and her stomach churned desperately. The cabbie pulled up in front of the Buchanan residence and turned to face Karen.

"I can tell your nervous, so whatever is going on I really hope it turns out well for you lady."

Karen tried to smile but it came out in a grimace. He popped the trunk and Karen stepped out into the pouring rain. She grabbed her suitcases and ran up to the front steps. She turned the knob, but it was locked. She looked through the side window, but the hall light was not on. She groaned and kneeled over to get out the spare key from underneath the "Home, Sweet Home" mat. Soaked now, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Bill Buchanan sat on the couch, silently, in the dark, dreading the moment of his wife's return home. He turned on his phone and realized that she had left another message. He listened to it; she had arrived at the airport. He turned the phone back off and sat back against the couch staring at the ceiling. It began to rain outside and Bill felt a darkening cloud over the house. He thought that he could live with what happened, but he realized that he couldn't. What Karen had done was…was… Bill could not find words to describe his feelings. The betrayal and the hurt cut deep, and the more he thought about it the angrier he grew. He heard thunder rumble in the distance and heard a car pull into the driveway. Not moving, Bill heard a key in the door and it opened and closed. Still unmoving, slow cautious steps came down the hallway.

"Bill?" Karen's voice moved softly throughout the house. She walked into the hallway and noticed him sitting on the couch in the living room.

She slowly approached the couch. "Bill…? I'm home. How come you didn't come to the airport to get me?" Her voice sounded sad and strange to him. Unfamiliar. He didn't respond.

Karen walked over to the wall and turned on the light. She turned to look back at him. It had been only three months since she'd seen him, but he'd changed. His hair was whiter, his eyes sadder, and new worry lines crinkled his forehead.

Bill turned to Karen, whose blonde hair was plastered to her face from the rain. Dark circles had appeared under her eyes and her eyes had lost their sparkle. She looked weary and agitated, awaiting his reply.

"Hi Karen." The words sounded hollow to him, devoid of emotion.

Karen looked at him. "Did you get my calls? I tried to contact you about 5 different times."

"Yeah, I got them."

Karen's brow furrowed. "Why didn't you answer them?"

"Maybe I didn't want to." Bill answered matter-o-factly.

Karen sighed. "Bill…I thought I leveled with you. I thought I told you why I did what I did."

"You did." Bill said shortly.

"Then why are you acting like this?" She said in an exasperated manner.

Bill stood up and turned to her. "You want to know WHY I'm being cold, why I'm upset, why I'm being distant?" He frowned and Karen took a step back. "Because you betrayed me Karen. You put your career over the rest of my life. I could have been in jail for the rest OF MY LIFE!" He was seething.

"But you're not Bill!" Karen put her hands up. "We got off. We can start over."

Bill snorted. "Start over? Right. You haven't shown me that you even care anymore."

"Bill!" Karen exclaimed. And then her face suddenly contorted into one of anger. A flash of lighting and a clap of thunder shook the house. "How dare you! I have made sacrifices for you and our marriage multiple times over these couple years! I did what I thought was right for the country."

Bill took a deep breath and looked away. "I have made sacrifices that you can't even begin to dream of. I let you fly off to Washington to join Palmer's staff; I gave up the opportunity to become Director of C.T.U. West Coast so that we could keep this house while you were gone…"

"I know what you've done for our marriage. But I've made choices to keep us together too!"

"Really? Cuz it seemed to me like you chose what was convenient for yourself. With me out of the way you can continue to climb up the ladder."

"Is that what you think?!" Karen snarled. "That I would ruin YOUR life for MY career? Bill, I married you because I LOVE you why would I throw that away?"

"I don't know anymore!" Bill threw up his hands and turned away. He looked back at her. "I haven't seen you in three months. Seeing you walk through that door…you are a stranger to me, Karen. It's like I don't recognize you especially after today." Another clap of thunder shook the house and the rain continued to fall harder than before.

Karen wiped away angry tears that had begun to leak from her eyes. She hated crying; it was a sign of weakness. "I don't understand!" She yelled. "I called you every other hour, I've expressed to you why I made that decision and I apologized. What has changed me Bill?! What have I done wrong?"

"Everything." Bill's mouth was set in a hard line, and Karen's heart sank to her stomach. She looked up at him and shook her head. "You've changed too. You're angry and you're bitter." She took a step towards and him and then back. "Your eyes don't sparkle anymore. That's what I loved most about you." She bit her lip again and shuddered when thunder smacked the house again.

Bill looked at Karen, tired. "Why do you think that is Karen? Why?"

"Because you've let everything from today get to you!" Karen started yelling again. "There was nothing you could do to stop the attacks, nothing you could do to save Milo, and nothing you can do to bring Jack back, or fix the Homeland mistake! Nothing!!!"

Bill's nostrils flared. "You're accusing me of placing my guilt on you?!"

"What if I am?" Karen took a large step towards him; they were now only inches apart.

Bill turned his back on her. "You're wrong."

"No, I'm not."

"YES! YOU ARE!" Bill whirled on her, furious. He had lost it. "I LOVED YOU! I TRUSTED YOU! AND YOU BETRAYED ME! HOW COULD YOU?!"

Karen had never seen him this upset. Never. She took a deep breath. "TrustED? LovED?"

Bill shook his head and turned his back on her again. "Just…go away."

Karen stared at her husband. She didn't move. Sensing her presence, Bill turned back around. "I said…GO!" He moved towards her but she held her ground.

They stared each other down. "Fine." Karen said, finally. "If you don't want to see me anymore, I'll leave first thing in the morning!"

Bill's face did not change. Karen turned around and stormed to the steps. She stopped and turned back. She pulled her wedding ring off her finger. "AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR DAMN RING!" She chucked it at him and it him in the cheek. He still did not move.

Karen stared at him for another couple of seconds before tearing up the stairs.

Bill stood in the living room, staring at where Karen had been standing for ten minutes, unmoving. He looked down and saw her silver ring, lying on the floor, glowing. He leaned over and picked it up. He walked slowly over to the couch and pulled out the bed, sitting on it and looking at the ring. His head was pounding and it continued to pour rain outside. Bill leaned his head back on the pillow. He couldn't imagine being alone again. He hated it. He hated it when she was gone, wished he could have grabbed her and said "Don't go to Washington! Please! Don't go you're breaking my heart!" But he hadn't. He loved her…so he let her go. And now…she'd betrayed him.

Bill stared at the black television screen. But why did she do it? He got up and began pacing the floor. Was she really just trying to save the president? She seemed so sorry…and Bill still loved her. So much. So much that his chest could explode from it. But if he couldn't trust her, rely on her, know that she would put their marriage first how could they stay together?

Exhausted, Bill lay back down in the sofa bed but couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, aching to hold her, like it was before. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it to himself. Miserably he lay awake staring at the ceiling.

Karen ran upstairs and slammed the door shut in their bedroom. She changed into dry clothes and got into the bed, her side. She stared at the ceiling, for the second time that night, and tried to go to sleep, but it was impossible. She tossed and turned, fluffed the pillows, but it didn't work. She turned over and took one of Bill's pillows. It smelled like him. Karen couldn't help it. She burst into tears; angrily trying to wipe them off her was useless; they kept coming. Why did she make the wrong decision? Why? Why did she think that everything would just be okay if she let him fall while she got off easy? How stupid could she be?

Karen tried to take a deep breath to calm herself down. She didn't want to leave in the morning. She wanted to stay right here, forever. With him. She rubbed her finger where the ring should have been. But did he really mean it? Did he really not love her anymore?

Karen glanced at the clock. 1:00am. There was no way that she was going to be able to sleep like this. Maybe he'd cooled down; it'd been an hour.

She got up from the bed and tiptoed to the door. Opening it slowly she walked down the steps and stopped in front of the couch. Bill was lying there, still and unmoving. "Bill?" There was no answer.

"Bill?" She whispered again softly. "Bill, I'm…sorry." Her voice cracked. "I really do love you. I didn't mean what I said, I don't want to leave. Do you still love me?" There was no answer.

"Bill?" She whispered again. Still no answer. She walked over to the other side of the couch. He was lying on his side, eyes closed. She walked up closer, but he didn't move.

Karen pulled the covers back and crawled into the bed beside him. She snuggled into the crook of his arm and was out in seconds.

Bill had heard Karen coming down the steps, heard her speaking. Felt the weight on the mattress change as she crawled in next to him. But he said nothing. He shifted himself and looked down at her, sleeping. She was exhausted he could tell, and tears still stained her cheeks. His throat seemed to close. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. She didn't wake up and Bill was glad. Maybe…maybe if he held on she wouldn't go. Maybe it would be like the way it was. He lay there for a couple of minutes before falling asleep too.

Bill woke up first. He glanced at his watch. Two in the afternoon. He looked down at Karen who had stirred a little bit when he moved his arm. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, momentarily confused. Then it seemed to come back and Karen looked up at Bill.

"Do you still love me?" She asked.

Bill stared at her, also confused.

Karen took a deep breath. "Do you still love me? If you don't then…I'll go."

Bill scrunched up his face, emotion threatened to escape from him. He suddenly grabbed her and held on tightly. "I…I don't want you to go Karen. I do still love you…so much. I don't think I can stand to be alone."

"Me neither." Karen seemed to whisper. "I love you so much sweetheart. I'm NEVER going to make a decision like that again."

And everything seemed right again. Bill looked out of the window and saw a rainbow, left from the storm of the night before. A new beginning.

Bill and Karen sat there for hours, just holding each other.