He slowly walked to the edge of the cliff, his heart beating loudly in his chest, but he did not hear it. The only sound that registered in his ears was the waves crashing against the rocks below, the wind tossing his hair back and forth, and the sharp cries of the birds soaring overhead.
This was it.
He took another step forward and stopped, staring straight ahead across the rippling blue sea. The sun peeked out from behind a dark cloud, bathing the land in a golden glow, but he didn't see it. It didn't matter to him anymore. Nothing did.
His achievements would fall and smash like the small glass ball he had held in his hand not so long ago. All the answers to the questions he had been asking for years...gone. Shattered into a thousand pieces, like his life had when the one he loved most had fallen backwards and disappeared through the shimmering curtain.
Raw anger had driven him. He could barely remember what he had done. He could only feel. Feel the stake that drove through his heart, feel the sting behind his eyes and the rock in his throat, feel the crushing sense of emptiness that engulfed him.
He had almost fallen on purpose, if only for the granite beneath him to claw at his knees and hands, to take his blood and give him pain, but strong hands had held him above the surface, refusing to let him sink. He vaguely remembered running, shouting, then pain beyond anything he had ever experienced, but he welcomed it, welcomed the darkness.
Hours had rolled by like seconds, locked in his room. And here he stood, at the end of his last chapter, his blank eyes flitting down to look at where they would eventually find him, floating in the shallows. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly.
Peace.
They never understood that. They thought that peace was sitting by the fire with a hot chocolate, or lying in their soft beds, or whispering to each other in the common room.
No, his peace was painless, no worry or sadness, a place where he could feel his mother's arms around him, his father's hand on his shoulder, and see the eyes that once were lifeless so alive and vibrant with happiness.
He felt something deep inside of him, something that was normally painful but had been overpowered by his agony. He realised it was guilt. Guilt at taking the easy way out, leaving his friends behind without explaining...
But, he wouldn't really be leaving them, would he? He would always he watching over them, one way or another. They would understand why he did it, wouldn't they? They must have seen how his whole body shook as the tears in his eyes refused to fall, how he may as well have been blind for everything he saw, how his soul was hidden so deep inside him they would never be able to get it back.
Another step, his toes tipping forward, his heels lifting from the cursed world that had destroyed him...
I'm sorry.
And he fell.