Ugh. Chips. Again.
There's something wrong with this place. Go home every night and you'll see Jamie Oliver telling us to eat all healthy an' that. But here, you get posters telling you to eat more chips. Don't get me wrong, I like chips. Trouble is, I'm on a diet. Oh, and these chips taste weird. Really weird. It's not the potato, it's something else. The oil maybe?
Here he comes. The head. He's the one- when he arrived, that's when it all started. Just before there'd been UFOs everywhere, then along he comes with his lot of staff. And I'll bet the old teachers didn't have flu. How do thirteen members of staff suddenly get flu when they were all looking perfectly healthy the day before? And how come none of us have it? And how come everyone's suddenly all smart?
It's the chips, I'll bet.
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"Break's over early. Isn't that brilliant?" Eh? Now there's definitely something up. She loves break an' now she's sayin'that it's great it's over early. So's everyone else! Amonth ago, there would've been a riot if this'd happened, but now... I'll bet it's 'costhey've been eating those chips.
I think some investigatin's in store.
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Here I am. Where it all seems to be coming from, aside from the kitchen and the headmaster. All this wierdness. The computer rooms. It's all dark. It's full at lunch and breaktimes, but now it's strangely empty and eerily dark. The door creaks slightly as it swings open. Stereotypical horror-movie style. Maybe I am in a horror movie. A real-life horror movie.
Ok, I'm rambling now. Shows you how things have changed- I never used to have so many words in my head before. It takes all my courage to walk along the rows of computers, all showing the school badge. A weird energy thrums in the air. I can feel it. And I bet it's nothing good.
What was that? Movement under the table. I bend to see what it was...
Oh my god. A dragon! Or something like it. It stands. And... oh my word. It's Mr Wagner. I knew there was something strange about him.
"This isn't your class." His voice is chilling "Now run along" I don't hesitate to obey. I knew there was something going on. Later I'll have to say I told you so, but now I need to get out of there. Something tells me that could've been a lot worse.
It's worse now, but not much. Well, aside from the fact that everyone's now seriously weird- goin' on this wacko programme on the PCs. Oh, and all the doors are locked so I can't get out.
Wait- there's a guy over there. Maybe he can help. I call to him, banging my fists on the glass. He seems to get the idea. He runs back to his car and looks like he's chatting to something. Wait a sec- is that a dog? Oh great. My chances of survival lie with a guy who asks a dog for advice. Wait- now he's going into the car.It swerves round. I realise what he's doing and run back, looking round just in case those dragon things come for me.
The glass smashes as he drives into it. He gets out and gets the dog out. It's a robot dog.
This is getting reallymad.
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Ok. I thought it was mad before. I was wrong. My life has just been saved by a robot. A robot dog who talks wierd and fires red lasers from its nose. Everything's spinning out of proportion. We're in a classroom. The dragon things are trying to get in- it's not just MrWagner. There's loads of them- I'll bet they're all the new staff. The part of my mind that's not panicking is thinking of an 'I told you so' routine to show the school when this is all over.
Mr Smith is weird too, but good weird. At least he's not one of them. Seems like the dog is his. The dinner lady's weird too, as is the journalist. It seems they both know Mr Smith, but they don't know each other. And the man's here too.
So- these things hate high, loud sounds? This lot are idiots- there's a high, loud sound right next to me, behind a bit of glass. I smash it and set off the fire alarm. The man looks as though he's wondering why he didn't think of that.
So for once, I'm clever. Makes a change.
0-0-0
Half the school's been blown up. Looks like the robot dog went with it, as I can't see him anywhere. Everyone thinks I made this whole thing happen- that I blew up the school.
I know better, but I'm not about to tell them so. Not yet. 'Cos I'm clever, see?
Oh, and the 'I told you so' dance can wait. Popularity is something I've never had before, and I'm not about to give it up. Maybe some other time though. When I go back to being the dumb one.
Fin