Once upon a time there was a girl called Glitterellina, and she was the most beautiful woman in the whole kingdom. This is many many years before Frozen happened, and Glitterellina is like fifteen.

She was crying into the mirror. "Oh mirror! I am so ugly!" she says. She looked at her long blonde hair and her perfect body and her eyes that literally glittered blue and she felt sad because she is relateable.

"Glitterellina!" says her dad. "I have some big news!"

"What is the big news?" asks Glitterellina.

"Guess," says her dad.

"We are having sausages for dinner," said Glitterellina.

"No," said Dad.

"We are going on holidays," said Glitterellina.

"No," Dad said.

"I don't know," said Glitterellina.

"You are getting married!" said Dad, twirling his moustache in his hand that had all the fingers because he'd lost four fingers on the other hand in the war with Arendelle.

"WHAT!" said Glitterellina. "I can't get married! I'm going to be a doctor!"

"You are a princess!" said Dad. "Princesses do not become doctors!"

"I must!" said Glitterellina.

"No!" said Dad.

"Yes!" said Glitterellina.

"No!" says Dad.

"Yes!" says Glitterellina.

"No!" said Dad.

"Yes!" said Dad.

"You said yes!" said Glitterellina. "I tricked you! I can become a doctor!"

"But wait!" said Dad, who is also the king. "You never heard who you are marrying."

"I don't give a shit," said Glitterellina. "I won end of conversation forever and ever."

"But it could end the war!" said Dad. "It could save lives!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, the conversation's already over," said Glitterellina, which was a fair point.

So Gliterellina become a doctor and save no lives and Frozen never happen.

But luckily… that's not how it happened!

*REWIND*

"I don't give a shit," said Glitterellina. She didn't say 'end of conversation forever and ever' so the conversation wasn't over!

"You are going to marry Prince Harris Tile," said Dad. "He is dreamy, with big brown eyes and wild curly hair that will remind you of a wolf running through the forests. His face is that of an angel's."

Glitterellina didn't think so. "Fine!" she shouted. "I'll marry him!"

Then she went off and packed her bag to go get married to Prince Harris Tile from Arendelle, to end the war between Arendelle and Sparkletown by uniting the warring kingdoms once and for all.