Circle of Life
Jeremy Cartwright, six and a half years old, "almost seven" he liked to remind everyone, stood at the water's edge of Lake Tahoe, his bare feet just inside the water line so his rolled-up pants wouldn't get wet. He bobbed his fishing line in the water, his curly blonde head bobbing right along with it, but nothing was happening. As his impatience grew he glanced to his left at his grandfather. His fishing pole rested loosely in his hand as he stared out over the lake. Jeremy shook his head. He never could figure out how the man could sit so still and look at nothing, especially in a place like the lake, with all the birds flying around and little animals skittering here and there.
Jeremy swiveled his head to the right and saw his uncle relaxing on the ground with his hat over his eyes. His fishing pole was propped up just so, where he didn't have to hold it but it also would not fall over if a fish had a mind to bite the bait. Jeremy sighed, laid down his pole and marched the few steps over to his uncle.
"Uncle Joe?"
"Mmm?"
"Are you sure there are fish in this lake?"
Joe removed his hat and smiled at the lad. "Sure there are. But you have to be quiet Jeremy or they won't come near the shore." He sat up and gestured to his nephew. "Get your pole and come over here. You might have better luck."
Jeremy grinned and ran to get his pole. Soon Joe was showing him the fine art of dangling the lure to get the fish to bite.
"Uncle Joe?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you really my uncle?"
Joe paused in baiting his hook to look at his nephew. "Sure, Jeremy. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I got another uncle and three aunts 'cause my daddy says they're his brother and sisters. But you're not one of my daddy's brothers so how can you be my uncle?"
Joe pushed his hat back and glanced over Jeremy's head to the man sitting off to himself. Yeah he thought he'd seen a small smirk slide across his face. Pulling his attention back to Jeremy, "Well, you see there are levels of uncles, just like there are levels of daddies. There's your dad, then there's your grandpa. You with me so far?"
Jeremy nodded. He knew all about dads and grandpas.
"Okay, now you have uncles and aunts that are related to your dad - his brother and sisters, right? Well I'm related to your grandpa. I'm his brother so that makes me your great uncle but we just use the word 'uncle' to make things easier."
Joe watched as Jeremy's brow gained more and more creases until he finally shook his head and blurted out, "But you're not my Daddy's brother so you can't be my uncle."
A chuckle emanated from the still figure on the other side of Jeremy.
"Okay, Adam, you think it's so funny. Why don't you give it a go."
Adam faced Joe with a big grin on his face. "Oh no, I took my turn on the train ride out here."
Before Joe could respond, Adam's fishing line started twitching. "Grandpa, you caught a fish!"
Jeremy ran over to help pull on the line. Joe went into the water to try to catch the fish as Adam and Jeremy pulled with all their might. Finally, Joe told them to hold the line tight while he slowly waded deeper into the cold water. Adam and Jeremy looked at each other, both holding their breaths. Suddenly Joe spun around with the biggest Rainbow Trout either of the brothers had seen in a long time.
Jeremy released the pole and ran into the water to look at it, forgetting all about staying dry. Adam laid the pole and line down and waded into the lake to help Joe remove the fish from the hook. All three were talking at the same time when Jeremy suddenly hollered, "Uncle Joe, your pole, it's gone!"
Joe and Adam spun around to see Jeremy wading deeper into the lake to get the pole that was being carried away on the current.
"Jeremy, no!"
"Take the fish Adam. I'll get him."
Joe dropped the trout before Adam could grab it and ran through the water arriving in time to snatch Jeremy from the deeper part of the lake. "Gotcha!"
He scooped the boy into his arms and made his way back to shore. Placing him on the shore by his grandfather, Joe looked at Jeremy. "That wasn't safe Jeremy. You know you can't swim. The bottom of the lake drops off real deep and you could have drowned."
Adam wrapped a blanket around his grandson and held him close to keep him from shaking. The child looked between the two men then broke into tears. Adam cradled his grandson as he looked up at Joe, his voice reflecting the close call, "Thank you Joe."
Joe smiled then shivered a bit. "Guess I better get dried off. Hey, Jeremy, when you get warm you can help me get your grandpa's fish into the wagon, okay buddy?" That got Jeremy to stop crying and produce a weak smile. Adam hugged Jeremy closer as they sat in the warm sunshine while Joe dried off and began packing things into the wagon.
xXXx
That evening, Adam slipped downstairs after settling Jeremy in bed. The boy had been disappointed at the shortened fishing trip and upset about getting in trouble for going after Joe's fishing pole. Adam felt he'd finally gotten Jeremy to understand he wasn't in trouble, just had made a bad choice. After dinner, Adam spent time with his grandson, singing and reading to him until he fell asleep.
Now Adam was ready for the promised glass of brandy Joe had waiting for him. He sat in his familiar blue chair and sipped the calming drink.
"Jeremy okay?"
"Yeah, I think so. He's more sensitive about things than his cousins ever were." Adam glanced around the room. "Where's Alice?"
"She's finishing some sewing in our room. Figured you and I might like to talk."
Joe waited for those graying brows to rise and he wasn't disappointed. "Come on Adam, I've learned enough from Pa and Hoss to be able to detect when something's not right in this family. You wire me that you're coming now instead of in June. You arrived yesterday and wanted to go fishing today. You've also been more solemn than usual. What's going on?"
Joe waited patiently for his older brother to formulate his response. It had been a hard couple of years for both brothers. Ever since Adam and Anna left to settle in Boston he'd always brought his children out to the Ponderosa for the summers. Later it was his grandchildren. Joe knew Adam's roots were in the Sierras but new business opportunities arose that took him back East. Pa always looked forward to the visits and once Joe took over running the ranch Ben made a few trips back East as well. But all that ended last year in the winter when Ben took his final breath after a long life. At the funeral Adam revealed that Anna was sick and would not recover. She died a month later after they returned to Boston. None of the Eastern Cartwrights made a trip west that summer but Adam did come at Christmas. Now just a few months later he's home again and with his youngest grandchild. Joe sipped his brandy as he waited for Adam to answer his question.
"Jeremy has been having difficulties at school. Aaron and Michele have spoken to the Headmaster many times but to no avail. Jeremy has picked up the habits of a bully and we can't figure out why." Adam sighed and took a deep swallow of his brandy. "The last incident was two weeks ago. The lad pushed another boy, causing him to fall down a staircase. Neither boy would say what led up to it but I believe Jeremy is upset about something that he won't tell anyone. My hope is that some time away from school and a change of scenery will help."
Joe's face reflected the fact that inside he felt deeply for the situation Adam found himself in.
"As you know, Joe, there are quite a few years between Jeremy and his cousins, with the next youngest being thirteen. Michele has worked hard to make sure he has good friends his age but that hasn't helped. Aaron also suggested that Jeremy hasn't been very receptive to the idea of a younger sibling. That might be part of the problem so I thought perhaps some individual time here with your family might bring him out."
"Of course. There are some chores I can assign him and I think he's about the right size to ride Shadow. What do you think?"
"That all sounds fine, Joe. Thanks." Adam finished his drink but still held the empty glass.
"Um, is there more?"
Adam let a half smile slip out. "Jeremy seems to be comfortable around you and I was wondering if you would mind spending some extra time with him. He probably feels I'll just keep pushing him to tell me what's troubling him."
Joe stretched his legs then rose out of the chair and headed toward Adam. Placing his hand lightly on his brother's shoulder, he gave Adam a big grin. "You know Alice and I will do all we can to help. I'll teach him to ride Shadow and let him work with Eric on some chores. Eric's been wanting some extra responsibilities now that he's thirteen. Why don't you just sit back older brother and see what happens."
Adam's half smile filled into a full one as he stood up. "Think I'll go for a walk before turning in."
"Suit yourself." Joe gathered the glasses and headed toward the kitchen. He called to Adam as his brother headed out the front door, "Will you lock up when you get back? I'm heading upstairs myself."
Adam held up his hand to acknowledge the request then shut the door behind him.
xXXx
With the door closed the darkness and silence wrapped around Adam like a comforting blanket. He took a deep breath of the cool pine-scented air before strolling into the yard. His first instinct was to look up, to see the stars that had been his friends for so long. Mentally calling the stars and the constellations by name he felt comforted by so many memories. It was his father who had first taught him about stars and navigation, even on land. Then Grandfather Stoddard added to his knowledge with stories of the sea and the history of navigation. When he left for England and his sojourn across Europe, he had spent more time studying the patterns of the stars to get him to his next destination but also found them to be friendly reminders of home. It was in Spain, when he met Anna and married her, that he found a new kinship with the stars as he introduced his new wife, and later his children to them, just as his father had taught him when he was a child.
Adam couldn't help but smile as he realized he had come full circle with those twinkling lights in the night sky. Finding himself at the corral railing Adam leaned back against it and stared into the heavens. Up there were the ones he loved - Mother, Mama, Marie, Grandfather, Hoss, Pa and now Anna. A deep feeling of emptiness and sadness welled up inside Adam, he missed Pa and Anna the most at that moment.
He felt a gentle nudge against his shoulder and turned to find a young chestnut stallion studying him. Sadness was replaced with love upon seeing the grandson of his faithful mount. Adam reached up to rub the thin white blaze, just a line down the long face.
"Hello, Buddy. What are you doing out here?" Adam glanced around and found more horses in the corral. It was a comfortable night so he figured the foreman chose to let the horses out for a romp before being settled in their stalls. The horse stayed for a bit longer as Adam scratch him under the jawline then trotted away to join his stable mates.
Seeing Buddy caused Adam to think of Sport and his life on the ranch, his time traveling and finally returning to the Ponderosa for a few years before moving to Boston. He pondered his family, those gone and those with him. His children were all married and living their lives. Joe had the ranch and his boys and Jamie to help him. But where did he, Adam, fit in? That was the question he couldn't answer. He and Anna had agreed to stay in Boston until most of the grandchildren were grown but now all that had changed. They had talked of returning to Madrid for a visit, then coming to live on the Ponderosa but that was before….Adam sighed once more as he pushed away from the fence. Seeing the warm glow of the windows and feeling the cool breeze against his skin, he felt a peace he hadn't felt for a while. Perhaps he did know where he belonged.
xXXx
Over the next couple of weeks, Jeremy settled in with Joe's family. He followed young Eric like a shadow and did all his chores without complaint. Joe told Adam the boy was a natural on the pony so he and Joe took turns letting Jeremy ride with them around the ranch. To help Jeremy get used to having a baby in the house, Alice agreed to keep a young child for a friend from town whose family was sick with colds. Alice let Jeremy help to feed the infant and to dress it after diaper changes. He was hesitant at first then seemed to blossom when Alice let him help with more tasks and even watch the baby during a nap while she prepared lunch for everyone.
Adam's observations of all that Jeremy took on and learned made him realize he had a grandson who was quiet and sensitive like Hoss but excelled when given certain responsibilities. After a week with the baby Jeremy admitted that he was looking forward to helping his mama with their new baby which was due in the late fall.
One morning, Joe took Jeremy with him to count cattle. They were going to meet the cow hands there and come back after lunch. Adam grinned as they rode out, Jeremy so proud to ride beside his uncle on such an important mission.
After Joe spent the morning letting Jeremy write the numbers down when the hands reported in, he and Jeremy sat with everyone to have lunch. There were a couple of new hands who were just out of school and Joe noticed they weren't getting along very well. He waited to see what the foreman would do when the arguing got out of hand and one boy hit the other one. The foreman immediately stepped in to break up the fight and told the boys he'd be talking to them back at the bunkhouse later. Joe was pleased how the foreman handled that but when he looked down to explain things to Jeremy the boy was gone. Seeing Joe's panicked expression one of the other hands told him the boy had gone over to some nearby boulders. He'd been keeping an eye on him just in case he tried to run off too far. Grateful for the help, Joe made his way over to the area. He soon found Jeremy huddled down between to large boulders.
Taking his hat off and dragging his sleeve across his forehead, Joe slumped down to sit near Jeremy.
"Sure is a hot day. I'm glad you found some shade but it's a bit far from the rest of the hands."
"So."
"I'm guessing you just wanted to be alone?"
"Kinda."
"Wanna tell me about it?"
"Those big boys scared me. They were so angry. The big one was being mean to the other one."
"That happens sometimes when the hands don't quite get along. They'll be alright. Dave, the foreman, will talk to them later and get it sorted out."
Noticing Jeremy still had a worried look on his face, Joe prompted him, "Something else on your mind, little buddy?"
Catching Joe off guard, Jeremy burst into tears and scooted deeper into his little grotto. All of a sudden he seemed afraid of his own shadow. "I didn't mean it Uncle Joe. He was being mean and he said awful things about Grandpa and Papa. He said they built buildings that weren't safe." Jeremy gasped for air through his tears. "He said….they… killed people! I had to stop him. I told him he was lying. I got so mad I pushed him. I didn't mean for him to fall down the stairs." Suddenly, Jeremy jumped up and ran off blindly. Joe scrambled to his feet and chased after him, lifting Jeremy up into his arms before he got any closer to the cattle.
Joe stood rooted to the ground and held Jeremy tightly as the boy squirmed and screamed to be released. Eventually, the fight left him and Joe paced around, whispering loving words to calm his nephew. When Joe felt his nephew had relaxed enough he suggested they head for home. Jeremy nodded but said nothing.
Jeremy was too upset to ride by himself so they doubled on Joe's horse and Joe led the pony as they headed away from the herd. They talked a bit more about what Jeremy told Joe. Jeremy was afraid to tell his grandpa but Joe assured him that the truth was always the best path and that his grandpa would listen to everything Jeremy had to say. In his own mind Joe wondered how Adam would react to all of this. He figured he'd find out soon enough as they slowly made their way up to the house.
Adam was on the front porch teaching young Eric about the guitar when Joe rode in. Noticing immediately that Jeremy wasn't on his pony, he handed the guitar to his nephew and walked over to the riders.
"Joe, everything alright?" He noticed Jeremy refused to look at him.
Joe dismounted and reached up to help Jeremy down. Making eye contact with Eric he suggested the boys find a snack in the kitchen. Once the children were out of earshot, Joe and Adam settled on the porch to talk. "Jeremy's not hurt but something did happen. A couple of young hands, about fifteen or sixteen years old, got into an argument. It wasn't bad and my foreman squelched it pretty quick, but it scared Jeremy and he ran off. When I found him we talked about the fight and I thought I'd settled it with him when he suddenly burst out crying. He said something about how he had pushed a kid to keep him from saying bad things about you and Aaron. He said something about a building collapse and people being killed."
Adam silently ran his hand across his face then he stood up and stepped off the porch. Crossing his arms across his chest he stared across the yard. Joe was about to join him when Adam turned slowly to face him.
"Yes, a building collapsed. It happened a month before Jeremy attacked the boy at school. Cartwright Enterprises did the design work, supervised by Aaron, but the construction was done by Brennan Construction. The initial investigation showed that Brennan took shortcuts with materials and procedures. Just before this trip, we found out that Aaron and our company was found faultless with charges against Brennan and his suppliers still pending. But none of that information had been made public at the time."
"I'm sorry Adam." Joe scratched the back of his neck then joined Adam in the yard. "How did the other boy know about all that if it was still private?"
"The boy was the son of Thomas Brennan the third, the man who could be charged with the building collapse that caused the workers' deaths. I need to find Jeremy and somehow explain all this to him."
Joe laid a hand on Adam's arm. "Jeremy's afraid to talk to you. I think he's afraid of disappointing you somehow."
Those words left Adam feeling cold inside. He said nothing and headed to the house to find his grandson.
Realizing the horses needed tending, Joe took them to the barn. He needed to keep busy while he waited to see how Adam's talk with Jeremy went.
Inside the house Adam found Jeremy with Eric in the kitchen. He accepted a cookie from Eric before the boy excused himself. Adam fingered the cookie then ate it in two bites. He glanced at Jeremy. "That was a good cookie."
Jeremy refused to look up at his grandfather.
"Seems we need to talk about today. How about we take a few more cookies with us and head over to the far side of the corral. I know a quiet place where no one will disturb us."
Jeremy nodded as Adam helped him down from the stool. They walked outside and side by side to the spot Adam had chosen then settled in the grass by a tree.
"Does this have something to do with the boy you pushed?" Adam didn't need an answer, his grandson's wide and distant eyes said it all.
"Jeremy, look at me please." The boy turned a fearful look at Adam. "Please don't be afraid. I love you very much and it makes me sad when you are so sad. Just tell me what happened at school that day, okay?"
Jeremy nodded and swallowed hard. Thomas Brennan the fourth was two years older than Jeremy and he had targeted the boy since the start of school, all because his last name was Cartwright. Jeremy told Adam how Thomas had been taunting him throughout the year and he told everything the boy said that fateful day. In the hallway that day Thomas had called Jeremy's father and grandfather murderers in front of many of the other students. Jeremy didn't believe the boy, he knew he had to be lying so he pushed Thomas to get him to be quiet. He didn't see the stairs behind Thomas and was terrified when the boy tumbled down each step and landed at the bottom, crying and grabbing at his leg.
When Jeremy finished talking he was wrapped in Adam's arms, sobbing hard. Adam eyes had misted over as well. It bothered him deeply that his young grandson had been tormented at school and then found out about a tragic event, thinking his family was involved. But how does one help a six year old understand all of that?
Shifting his grandson in his lap, Adam pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dried Jeremy's face.
"Grandpa, are you mad at me? I know it was wrong to push Thomas but he was telling lies."
Pursing his lips Adam formed his words carefully. "You remind me so much of your Uncle Hoss." Adam knew Jeremy didn't remember him but he pressed on, "He had a gentle heart just like you. He cared a lot about people and animals but mostly he cared a lot about what was right. You seem to be that way too."
"But I don't know what to do when kids like Thomas are so mean. Papa says fighting is wrong and that's why I was so afraid when I pushed Thomas." Jeremy voice softened to a whisper, "I was just as mean as he was."
"Jeremy listen to me. I agree it was wrong of you to push Thomas, but the reason why was not wrong. You were defending someone you believed in. For that I'm very proud of you." Adam drew the child into a hug.
"I think that when you papa gets here the three of us will talk this out and help you find a good way to handle the kids that aren't so nice. Your Uncle Hoss had the same problem and he found some great ways to be a friend rather than a bully. Is it a deal?"
Jeremy grinned. "Deal."
Adam reached for the cookies and shared some with Jeremy.
"Grandpa? Was Thomas telling the truth about the building and….and the people?'
Adam sighed. He'd hoped Jeremy wouldn't ask that question. "Yes and no, Jeremy. Yes a building collapsed and some workers were killed. It was a building your papa and I designed, but the Brennan Company was building it. The investigators determined that our company didn't do anything wrong. It was the Brennan company that didn't follow the plans and used the wrong materials. We had just found that out before you and I left Boston."
"Will Thomas's pa have to go to jail?"
Adam stood up, pulling Jeremy with him. Heading back to the house, he looked at his grandson. "I don't know what will happen to the Brennan company or their family. Now I think it's time for us to find some other things to think about, like afternoon chores. And afterwards maybe we can play a game of horseshoes before dinner.
Jeremy whooped at that suggestion before running off to find Eric to help him with his chores. Adam grinned as he watched the boys together. It would be a while before they could deal with all the problems in Boston but at least now he felt Jeremy was on the right path. Taking a deep breath of the fresh mountain air, Adam was glad to be home and he looked forward to the arrival of his youngest son and daughter-in-law. He was certain they would be pleased with the changes they would see in their son. Noticing Joe heading to the house Adam turned that way, quickening his steps to catch up with his baby brother. Yes it was very good to be home.
xXXx
A few weeks later, all the Cartwrights were once again on the shores of Lake Tahoe. Aaron and Michele had arrived a few days earlier and it was Jeremy's idea for a picnic by the lake. Joe, Jeremy and Jamie, who had just returned from a cattle drive, were diving and splashing in the water. Alice and Michele were sitting in a shady spot chatting about babies and watching the antics in the water. Further down the shore, Eric and his older brother BJ were attempting to catch some fish for dinner, and not doing too badly despite the nearby horseplay.
Adam let out a deep laugh when Jamie and Jeremy managed to push Joe under water and he came back roaring like a sea monster. Hearing laughter beside him Adam turned to watch his son, who was sitting with his knees pulled to his chest and shaking with laughter.
"Oh, this is so much fun, Papa. I think I'm finally beginning to relax after all the stress of Boston."
Adam smiled, "You look more relaxed, son. I have to admit I felt relieved when you told me about the charges against Brennan and that we were officially cleared. That man has been a menace to the city for years but I am distressed that it took ten lives to get him shutdown."
Aaron shared his father's somber expression. "I haven't told you yet but Michele and I very much appreciate what you were able to do to help Jeremy. He's like a completely different child."
Adam smiled at the gratitude of his son as he watched each of his family involved in their various activities.
"Michele is looking so happy. I assume the doctor had some good news for you two?"
"Yes, she is doing very well. He said this time is very different from the last two times when she lost the babies. We're very relieved. That is one reason we're only staying a month. The doctor wanted her back home for the remainder of her time."
Aaron caught his father's change of expressions at his mention of returning home. He held his thoughts. After his mother died he knew his father had struggled with where to live. Aaron understood it was a difficult choice and he didn't want to influence Adam in any way. Aaron realized this had to be his own decision.
"Grandpa, Grandpa!" Adam and Aaron were pulled from their somber thoughts by Jeremy's excited voice. "Grandpa, did you see? I swam, I swam in the water. Jamie helped me and I did it!" The boy, dripping with water, threw himself into his grandfather's open arms and gave him a big, wet hug. He whispered in Adam's ear, "Thank you Grandpa for everything. I love you!"
Pushing away, Jeremy was gone as quickly as he came. Aaron laughed hard as his father tried to dry his soaked shirt. Adam gave up and joined in. It was at that moment Adam felt a peace fill him. He knew without doubt that he needed to return to Boston. There were still some Cartwrights who needed him.
After the laughter subsided, he turned to Aaron and grinned. "I guess we'll all be heading home next month. It seems there's still some work for me there."
Aaron's face brightened with that news and he squeezed his father's shoulder. Despite being wet, Adam felt warm all over. Pa had taught him that family was everything and Adam knew he wasn't through being a grandpa just yet. Unable to contain himself any longer, Adam pulled off his boots, rolled up his pant legs and headed toward the water. He couldn't let the younger Cartwrights have all the fun.