Chapter One: The Bored and the Criminal

Summary and Warnings: First-time fic, Slightly A-U post-HBP, more realistic TMR, (present-day timeline, American lingual style, and wording) Starts off slow, Soon to be sped up.

Prologue: The young man tossed and turned in his sleep, twisted and rolled about in his sweat-soaked sheets. He was not having a pleasant dream at all. He wasn't even dreaming. In his tortured mind's eye, he saw a monster. The monster, who was some sort of macabre animated collection of bones, flesh, and blood, was expounding on his latest diabolical plan. "With my new plan, the castle is as good as vanquished," the man (if you could call him that) whispered sinisterly in his low, cold voice to the crowd of black-robed sycophants standing around in an obedient huddle. He continued, "The only thing that could go wrong is the enemy improving their own divisive and petty nature, and don't we all know that the nature of the so-called Light is unchangeable, immovable, and inflexible?" With loud sucking-up cheers of adulation, the speech ended, and the cannon fodder quickly vacated the throne room. Many miles away, a boy rolled roughly onto the floor next to his bed with a loud thump. Rubbing his shoulder, he climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over himself and promptly forgot any vision he may have just witnessed.

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I woke up to the sun's rays in my eyes. Wincing at the blinding light, I grumbled at this rudest awakening, and I scrambled to close the curtains. As I hurried to get rid of the pesky sunlight, I felt a soreness in my left shoulder. Stopping to examine it, I realized that mysteriously, I now had a new black and blue mark to add to my extensive collection. "Oh great," I said to myself. "I don't even know where this one came from." By this time I couldn't argue with the fact that I was way too wide awake to even try to catch a few more minutes of delicious sleep, so I went to get ready to face another boring day.

I went downstairs to get some breakfast, but there was nothing to eat. "Hey, I forgot that I'm rich, didn't I," I said. (once again to myself). I quickly left the empty house, heading for the local bakery. I sat at one of the tables munching on my donut, sipping my coffee, and glancing at the headlines of the daily paper. I was pleasantly surprised to note, that the absence of news in the paper was good news. "But hey, that makes no sense," I thought to myself. "Yeah, why should things be so quiet when every day for the last few weeks there hasn't been any letup from the terrorism perpetrated and orchestrated by my old nemesis?" I continued to ponder the latest development for a few more minutes. My mind then wandered on to my plans for the day. Huh, I didn't actually have any plans. Hmm, what to do, what to do. Suddenly, I had a brainstorm. I know, I'll make a list of things I need to before the new school year! No, no, too boring. Oh yeah, I'll make a list of things I need to do to defeat old Voldie. Nah, too hard. Oh what should I do, my life is so boring.

I went on and on in my own head like that for what seemed like ages, until I was distracted by a ruckus at the cash register. "Excuse me, I won't give you a penny", the women behind the counter said, it's my hard earned livelihood, and if you're too lazy to make an honest living, don't make us honest folk pick up the bill." I winced at the abrasive comments she was spouting, but it wasn't my place to teach her her manners. But then things got ugly fast. One thuggy looking guy pulled out a small gun from under his jacket. "OK," he snarled. "You didn't choose the easy way, you chose the hard way. Empty out that cash register, and give it all up." The women paled, but she acquiesced. As she was forking over the cash and coins, I saw a police car pull up outside the bakery. Two officers burst into the establishment guns out and yelled, "Everybody, hands up, now!" I put my hands up, but before anything else could happen, one thug ran over to me and aimed his gun at my head and yelled to the police, "Back off or this one is a goner!" The officers, realizing that they had a hostage situation, quickly backed out of the store. The thugs hustled us out of the main room and into the kitchen. They tied us to some chairs, gagged the shopkeeper to shut up her annoying yells, and started whispering among themselves.

My mind whirled with panic and worry. How could I get out of this one? I was soon distracted by the horrifying sight of one of the guys pouring oil all over the wooden wall and floor. He then lit the gas burners on the industrial stove and threw on the mess a whole bunch of cardboard boxes he found stacked in a corner. "What are you doing?" I yelled at them. "Don't worry, boy. We're just making some smokescreen, lots of smoke, we escape, very simple," he replied, as he shot me a smile made repulsive by a mouth of rotting teeth. I panicked, "But we'll die here if you leave us here tied up," I yelled back at him. "Don't you worry sonny boy, the fire department will be here in no time at all, and you'll be safe and sound," he tried to placate me. I wasn't as confident as he was. The two thugs left us to ourselves as smoke slowly started to fill up the room. I struggled against my ropes, but they were tied too well. I tried to reach my wand but they were in my front pocket and my hands were behind my back. "If I wouldn't have listened to Moody-Crouch I would be out of here already", I grouched to myself.

I started feeling faint from lack of air when I heard a gnawing sound coming from my left. Then more from my right. Then I heard gnawing sounds from all around us. I felt the ropes loosen the fall apart around me. I immediately dropped to the floor and tried to figure out where the closest exit was. All around me were cats. Many cats. I took a closer look and realized that they were actually kneazles. "What were kneazles doing here?", I wondered. I brushed off the thought, and concentrated on getting out of there alive. I saw that the kneazles were heading in one direction, so I thought it wise to rely on their renowned intelligence. I stumbled over a body on my crawl toward the exit. It was the proprietor. She was alive, breathing lightly, but unconscious. I sighed but gathered my energy and I dragged her along beside me. Finally we reached the door. There was a small hole that looked like some creatures had gnawed out of the wood. I was able to squeeze through, but as much as I pulled, there was no way I could get her out the same way I was able to escape. I left her there and ran around to the front of the building where the fire department was already hard at work fighting the blaze. I ran up to one of them and I wheezed, "Help, there's one more person stuck inside around the back of the building. After relaying that information I promptly passed out. I woke up quite predictably, in a hospital bed. "Oh, our hero is awake," the nurse in attendance commented. I groaned, and tried to turn over. My I.V. tube got in the way of that of course. "What a day", I grumped to myself. "Maybe next time I should be happy with just being bored."