A/N: Kind of a boring little one-shot. R & R though, if you like!
Katie Bell lay sprawled out on the couch in the common room of Gryffindor tower, watching out the window as the dark gray sky alternated between snow and rain. Her short, dark hair was tied back into a lazy ponytail and she wore socks pulled up around gray quidditch sweat pants--clearly, she was a knockout. Despite Angelina's concerns about the unsanitary nature of a couch that everyone used, Katie found it a nice place to relax on a late December afternoon after most of the tower had gone home for holiday. She shifted closer to the crackling fire and drew the hood of her bright red sweatshirt up around her ears, cuddling closer into one of the pillows. She probably ought to be getting a head start on Transfiguration homework she knew she would fall behind on, but somehow lounging around seemed to be the most tempting option. After all, if you were up until four in the morning in a broom closet with Roger Davies, you would be tired as well.
Katie sighed slightly and her lips parted as she contemplated the reason for her laziness. Outwardly, it made perfect sense. Roger was a (for the most part) respectable bloke, enjoyed quidditch (like herself), and was very, very good looking. Alright, so the boy plucked his eyebrows…but no one was perfect, right? Katie had started seeing Roger about two weeks ago. It had started fairly innocently; Angelina, Alicia, and herself were curious about their ability to attract the other sex and had entered into a harmless little bet concerning who could seduce any given boy the quickest. Katie had been assigned Roger because everyone knew she found his antics with females taxing and his personality less than stellar. Still, thinking the task funny enough to be worth her while, she embarked and succeeded very handily. Unbeknownst to her, Roger had actually had his eye on the pretty Gryffindor chaser for sometime. Katie won quite easily, but had managed to tangle herself up in a web of seduction in which she had given up trying to get out of. It was just too much work that she didn't want to undertake. Having to explain herself was definitely out of the question. Besides, she liked the attention. So, she was snogging someone she didn't particularly care for, while half-fantasizing about someone else with whom such things would never be possible. So, she'd given her first kiss to Roger Davies, to whom she felt no particular attraction other than the fact that he was attracted to her. So what? It wasn't exactly the love she was hoping for—Merlin, it was just lust—but she'd grown apathetic about the situation. Neither of them had wanted commitment and that was what had happened.
Today, she'd told him she'd needed a break from seeing him. It was hard being around someone like Roger for too long at a time over an extended amount of time. Roger, surprisingly, had agreed and promised he wouldn't bother her. It was rather more than she had hoped for, but ever since they had begun seeing one another he had shown a certain quality of dedication which she hadn't expected from a boy like himself and had continued to show dedication even after he had let him kiss her. Odd. She wondered vaguely and without much interest if she had more of an influence over him than she suspected most girls did. Either way, he was gone and she could be alone to stare outside idly at the rain and snow. Katie curled up into a ball watching the odd weather and thinking about how Roger had no appreciation for the rain. He liked the sun, and that was all. He was always cold and always complaining whenever it rained. Katie liked the sun just as much as the next person, but she had had an odd appreciation for rain ever since she was small. Maybe it had something to do with being a native of London. Whatever the reason, it bothered her greatly that her 'boyfriend' detested so much the very thing that she found so completing. Hadn't E.E. Cummings the poet penned most of his work around the rain? Wasn't it the supreme metaphor? Wasn't there something about the rain begging to be discovered, but impossible to put into words? She sighed as a familiar red head sat down carelessly beside her and laid his head on her stomach.
"Hi, best friend," she said.
"Afternoon, Katie," returned Fred Weasley. "What are you doing here, doing nothing…by yourself?"
"Exactly."
He laughed as she sat up and he moved next to her. "How is your day, Kates? You're looking all dressed up with nowhere to go."
"Shut up," she laughed, kicking him playfully. "So I like being comfortable. Is that so wrong?"
"Only wrong when it's because you were out late last night."
Katie looked up suddenly, staring at him accusatorily.
"Ange," was all he said.
"Ah," nodded Katie. "Alright."
There was silence except for the light falling of rain outside.
"You don't think I'm an awful person, do you, Freddy?"
He shook his head. "Never, Kates. I mean, I don't approve obviously--couldn't a girl like you snog any bloke she wanted instead of settling for some pretty face?"
No, Katie answered in her head. Outwardly, she shrugged.
"Just concerned for your happiness, Kates."
"Well, I'm not unhappy," she answered haltingly.
"But you're not happy either. And you deserve to be."
"I don't believe in love," she said shortly. "You know that."
"Aye, I do. But you should. Don't be jaded until you know what you're talking about."
"What do you know about being jaded, Fred? You've had every girl you've ever wanted. And Shanna, well, she's amazing. You…you get on great."
"Not every girl, Kates. You wouldn't let me have you. But yes, Shanna, she's…she's the best."
Katie frowned, trying not to betray her own feelings. The truth was that it was Fred who had been capturing most of her thoughts as of late, and Fred who was clouding her focus throughout all of the sessions in the broom closet with Davies. She would never forgive herself for being too daft to realize that his feelings for her were genuine and not another one of his ridiculous pranks. During summer break, then—after she'd assured him she had feelings for no one at school—he had asked out a long time interest of his. Shanna Washburn was two years younger than both Fred and Katie and the two lived in the same town. They had been friends for quite a while, but Fred had never decided to heighten the relationship until this past summer, conveniently Katie noticed, after she herself had given him the shaft. Ever since then, Katie had been mentally kicking herself and stealing glances at the couple in the dining hall. Fred was a perfect boyfriend, and it made her sick inside.
"So what are you doing here, Kates? Shouldn't you be out with Roger darling?"
Katie grimaced. "Don't call him that, Fred. And I told him I wanted the day off today."
"And he actually let you?"
"Of course. Roger's nicer than you give him credit for sometimes, you know."
"And you wanting the day off would have nothing to do with the fact that he's on crutches even after Madame Pomfrey mended his knee, would it?" Fred asked slyly.
Katie scowled and tossed a pillow at Fred. She was angry because he was right. "He makes me sick," she said, annoyed. "He makes one tiny ten foot fall during a match and he's bawling like a baby over his knee!"
"You snogged him, though."
Katie shuddered. "I did," she admitted.
"So. How was it?"
Katie shot Fred a dirty look. "As if I'm telling you!"
"Ah, c'mon, Kates. I gotta know. Did he grab your arse at all?"
She didn't answer.
"He did! Bloody tosser. Can't believe you let him, Kates!"
Katie sighed. "Believe it or not, Fred, sometimes it's nice to have someone think you're attractive."
Fred snorted. "Endearing, Kates, really. Well, fantastic, Roger gave you the day off, which means you get to spend time with me!"
"And I'm supposed to be…excited about this?"
"Funny, Kates. You're a comedic genius, really."
"I learn from the best."
"So. Does today make you miss London at all?"
Katie stared outside. "Yeah," she said solemnly. "It does. I love the rain."
"Do you ever get tired of people asking about it?"
She scoffed. "Are you kidding? You'd think people would realize all the stories that they've heard actually do have some kind of basis in reality. And then afterward—'Well how do you stand it??' It's crazy, really."
"Really," Fred agreed. "I mean—you've got the best weather in the world. Everyone knows that."
Katie considered Fred. "You think so?" she asked.
"Absolutely. There's something about the rain, it's very…"
"It's soul-filling," Katie said. "I mean, I know that sounds hopelessly cheesy, but…"
"No, no," Fred interrupted. "It's good. It really is. It's soul-filling. So great for comparisons, right? I mean, when I'm writing my music I try to capture weather. That's when I know it's good. Celestina Warbeck? She's all sun. It's like 'I'm happy all the time! Someone give me another shot of Drooble's!' But then you take a band like The Weird Sisters…now there's rain for you. It's deeper."
Katie nodded, smiling. "I like that analogy," she said.
"You can use it for other things, too. Your love life, for instance. Roger is the sun. Makes you feel good, but no real substance right? But I can tell, and I've been able to tell for a while, that there's some rain cloud in your life as well--possibly feelings for someone you might not think will return them. Am I right?"
"No," Katie said defensively. "Now I think you're barmy."
"And I think I'm right. Don't worry, Kates, I'm not going to ask you who he is. Just work with me here."
"How am I 'working with you'?" Katie asked coldly. She didn't like being found out so easily.
"All I'm saying is maybe you could give it a shot. Just go for it. What harm could it do? Give into the rain, Katie Kate." He grinned at her cheekily. It was the look he got when he knew he was annoying her with some aspect of truth in her life which she was trying desperately to hide.
"No," she said firmly. "Absolutely not. There's everything to lose. You don't understand."
"Well, then tell me. What don't I get? I'm here as your…" He grinned. "Your…girlfriend. Your confidante. Your vault."
Katie sighed exasperatedly and drew her knee up to her chin. "Fred, I'm serious. I don't want to talk about it. I'm…I'm fine with Roger. He doesn't make me commit or do anything I don't want to. He gives me space. He gave me my first kiss!"
"Kisses don't count until there's feeling."
"What? Of course they count."
"No, they don't. So you know what that means? It means you've still yet to be kissed, Katie Bell. Don't argue with me—I mean really, seriously, good and kissed. So come on. Tell me about this bloke and why it's so drastic that you have everything to lose." He leaned back and observed her struggling, amused.
"NO, Fred! I can't even believe we're having this conversation! No—wait—I can't even believe it's gotten this far. I feel no need to describe to you my love life in detail…or what excuse for it I have."
"Does Roger know?"
Katie considered this. "No," she said finally. "Well, I don't think he does at any rate. I mean, I can tell that he's not certain how strongly I feel about him. He always says he's never sure whether I like him or not. But…I don't think he knows it's because of another bloke."
"Hmm. Interesting. Maybe I should, uh…enlighten him."
"Fred, if you do—I swear, I will kill you. I feel sorry enough for the poor boy as it is."
"Why sorry? He gets to kiss you and has no idea you have no feelings for him."
Katie exhaled. "Yeah, I guess. But he's just here for…for fun until I get over…him."
Fred nodded. "What does this other bloke have that he doesn't?"
Katie sighed and looked up at Fred with great difficulty. It pained her that he had no idea that he was the 'bloke' in question, and even worse, if he did know he probably wouldn't care. She pondered how to best answer the question.
"My heart," she said finally. It was good. It was simple. Explained everything.
Fred nodded, obviously uncomfortable with the sudden change in sentimentality. "Alright, Katie Kate," he said. "I guess I'll be going then. If you want to help me pack or just hang out, come on upstairs. I won't let George bug you too much."
"Yeah, thanks, Fred," she muttered.
"Hey. Alright there, Katie?"
"I'm just fine."
"Okay…"
Katie curled up into a ball and stared into the fire. She wasn't really the crying type, so being still and silent about equated to it. She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and listlessly thought about Fred. She knew she ought to be forgetting about him, especially now that she had a pseudo-boyfriend of her own, but she had never been one to curb her guilty passions.
So, lying on the unsanitary couch in Gryffindor tower, she imagined herself in Hogsmeade with him again as they haphazardly crossed streets illegally with a bunch of unhappy villagers looking on, eating at a local restaurant while he told her he was happy that she wasn't afraid to eat a cheeseburger in front of him, laughing as he urinated off the top of the quidditch locker room, being serenaded outside her window at night (admittedly, "Voulez-vous Couche Avec Moi" was not the most romantic of songs)…
She rolled over and stared at the back of the couch. She was about to decide that taking a nap in the middle of the day sounded like a grand idea when a slight wind and the peck of an owl disturbed her thought process. She groaned and turned over to find Roger's little tawny owl staring up at her with a hastily written note in its beak. She took it and stared blankly at the outside before opening it.
Babe!
I know how you love it when I call you that! Well, I know I said I'd let you have your girl time today, but I'm in Ravenclaw tower and I'm really bored and thinking of you…if you don't want to see me, at least write me back so I can have some kind of proof that you're still alive and haven't forgotten about me? Thanks!
Roger
Katie rolled her eyes and groaned. "Oh Roger, it's been eight hours. Please get a life." The bird cocked its head. "What are you looking at?" she asked nastily. It made a noise and backed away. Katie continued to stare at the note and weigh her options. Finally, she picked up a quill from the back of the couch and scrawled a quick reply stating that she'd be there in about ten minutes. She tied it to the owl's leg and sent it back out the window. It wasn't really as though she had the world to accomplish that day, and she was hoping that being with Roger would help her forget—at least for the time--about her recent encounter with Fred. Or any encounter for that matter, really.
Resignedly, she moved slowly up her staircase and into her room. Angelina and Alicia had already left for holiday and Katie's things were still strewn about over the room. She would be heading back with the Weasleys later that night, but hadn't given much thought to packing yet. She quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and threw her favorite shirt on, yanking out the hair tie and combing her dark hair quickly. After a moment's hesitation she applied Roger's favorite lip gloss and headed down the stairs.
"Hey, Foxy, where are we off to so quickly?"
She looked up to see George levitating a trunk down the stairs from the boy's dormitories and grinning.
"To Ravenclaw tower," she said, attempting to brush him off.
"We wouldn't be off to see dear Roger, would we?"
"Does it really matter, George?" she asked slightly exasperated, still heading toward the portrait hole.
"It does if you're not ready to leave by tonight!" he shouted after her. "Fred says we're leaving at eight thirty."
"Well, bully for Fred," she said, annoyed.
"What's wrong with you? I thought you two were best friends?"
"Piss off, George," said Katie, and slammed the portrait behind her, ignoring the protests of the Fat Lady.
A few good hours later, she was standing outside the same portrait with Roger in tow. He held both of her hands and refused to let her in.
"Come on, babe, say you'll come with me," he pleaded.
"Roger, I already told my parents I was going home with the Weasley's. They're meeting me there. And don't call me babe."
"Well you can change plans. Besides, you said they liked me. Don't you want to spend Christmas with me…babe?" He grinned at her. Katie scowled.
"Roger, I…I just don't know. I mean, I have so much going on with holiday…I'm staying at the Weasley's with my parents, I'm not even going home. So that's going to be different…and I have to try and find some kind of job for a couple of weeks so I can pay off my new broomstick. And listen, I haven't even started packing yet, so I'm kind of stressed out and you're not exactly helping…"
"See, it's perfect! If you're not even going home, you won't be missing out. And I'm not leaving until tomorrow night! You can pack your suitcase then."
Katie was running out of options, as well as patience for resistance. "I—well, Fred—Fred, um, reserved a spot for me in the car his dad's sending over. I'm helping him navigate, he's horrible with directions and I really think he needs me…"
Roger furrowed his brow and looked a little upset. "He'll manage. He's old enough. Come on, Katie, forget about him for a couple of seconds. I thought you were my girlfriend."
Katie scowled again. "I'm not your anything, Roger," she said testily.
"I know, I know," he said quickly. "I'm sorry, I screwed up. Just…please, Katie. I want to share Christmas with you. Please say you'll come."
Katie sighed, looking into Roger's brilliant blue eyes. He seemed to be sincere. Maybe if she was with him, she'd get some really neat gift. And she wouldn't have to put up with seeing Fred and Shanna exchange gifts.
"Alright, Roger. Let me run up and tell Fred I'm not coming."
"Yes! Thanks so much, babe."
She playfully feigned anger over the pet name and gave an impatient Fat Lady the password. Roger held her for a little while longer, refusing to release her until she let him kiss her. After the appropriate amount of flirtation, she gave in and entered the common room. She wasn't so sure about her decision, but she didn't care. She really needed to get a grip on reality for once and move on with her life.
Katie headed up the stairs that led to the twin's dormitory. She was about to go straight in when she saw through a small crack in the doorway what was going on and it made her pause for a second. George was rummaging through his trunk trying to organize his socks and bugging Fred about not helping. Fred was sitting on his messy, unmade bed, clothes strewn everywhere with his guitar in his lap, strumming a song and singing quietly. Katie smiled a little to herself and then stopped when she caught a couple of the chords. It was her favorite song.
Fred swung his bare feet over the side of the bed lazily, his hair messy, his hands lightly touching the strings of the guitar and his voice was low, but audible.
"When I was a young boy, my mamma said to me,
'There's only one girl in the world for you
& she probably lives in Tahiti.'
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world just to find her."
Involuntarily, Katie's eyes began to fill with tears. What had she been doing? Here, sitting on his bed, was the world's most ridiculous looking kid with red hair, tons of freckles, a bad voice, and a guitar—and yet, this boy—not the tall, good looking one waiting for her in the hallway—was the one who had her heart. And he always would, she knew it. She listened to him sing her song and fell slightly to her knees, wiping her eyes.
"Well, maybe she's in the Bahamas
Where the Carribean Sea is blue,
Weeping in a tropical moonlit night
'Cause nobody's told her about you.
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
Just to find her.
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world
To find out where they hide her."
She had no idea what she was going to do. Half of her wanted to run into the room, charge Fred, and begin snogging him on the spot, right over the top of his guitar. Her rational side, however, told her that this would not be a good idea for several reasons. And so, she listened.
"Why am I hanging in the rain out here
Trying to pick up a girl?
Why are my eyes filling up with these lonely tears
When there's girls all over the world?
Well, is she lying on a tropical beach somewhere
Underneath the tropical sun,
Hiding away in a heat wave there
Hoping that I won't be long?"
"No Fred, I'm right outside your door, crying," she thought to herself. "Right here. Come and find me. You don't have to go the whole wide world. I'm right here. Just like I've always been."
"I should be lying in on that sun-soaked beach with her
Caressing her warm brown skin
And then in a year, or maybe not quite,
We'll be sharing the same next of kin.
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world,
Just to find her.
I'd go the whole wide world
I'd go the whole wide world,
To find out where they—
Hey, George, what's that?"
Katie's head shot up. She quickly wiped her eyes and stopped crying.
"It's Katie, crying outside our door," George said simply. "Hey Bell, wanna come in?"
Fred peered out at her, surprised. "Katie, what's wrong?" he asked.
Katie sat, shocked, and slowly the absurdity of the situation sank in. So, she did the only sensible thing she could think of. She got up and ran.
Back in her own room, Katie began packing for her vacation with Roger. She decided she'd owl George later to tell him she wasn't coming with them after all. She couldn't see either of them again for a while. She was utterly and completely ridiculous. As she was cramming several pairs of socks into the corner of her trunk, Fred knocked at the door.
"Kates, it's me. Let me in?"
She wiped her nose. "How'd you get up here, Fred?"
"Never mind that. Come on, let me in."
"No."
"Katie. Let me in."
"No."
Fred muttered a spell and let himself in.
"Damn those locks," Katie said, attempting a smile and using her foot to toss a loose bra underneath her bed.
"Katie, what was that back there?"
"What?" she asked casually, turning back around to continue working.
"Oh, come on. You know what. I've known you for six years now and I've only seen you cry twice. Well—three times now. What's going on?"
"Nothing. I just came to tell you I'm not going back with you."
"What?"
"I'm spending holiday with Roger and his family."
"What?? Katie…"
"What? I want to."
"Come on. Be serious."
"I am being serious, Fred. He's asked me and I've said yes."
"But you're unhappy about it."
"Why would you say that?"
He looked at her, frustrated. "Kates, you were crying outside my door. To me, that signals that there's something wrong."
"Yeah, well, don't worry about. You can't fix it."
He took her by the shoulders and turned her around. "Sit down," he said, slightly exasperated.
Katie obeyed. She stared across at him nervously.
"Katie, we're leaving soon. You've been planning on coming with us for at least two months. We talked about it this afternoon. Now you're telling me you've changed your mind and actually want to spend holiday with a blockhead like Roger Davies, but you end up crying which—like I said—I've only seen you do twice before. Now, I'm trying to understand this but I'm having kind of a difficult time putting the pieces together. Could you please do me a favor and try to shed a little light onto the situation?" He looked at her with an honest expression on his face. Katie shifted uncomfortably.
"Why do you care, Fred? It's just one less person in your car." Her voice was shaking as she said it because she knew before the words had fully left her mouth that she'd hit a nerve.
"Dammit, Katie, you're my best friend," he said angrily, "I care what the hell's wrong with you because I love you, not because you happen to fill a space in my dad's car. Now will you please tell me what's going on with you?"
Katie stood up and threw up her hands. "Fred," she said shakily. "I don't know what to tell you, because you're not going to like hearing it."
He stood up as well and moved toward her. "Katie, you know that you can tell me anything. Anytime." His voice was lower. "Now out with it, girl." He smiled at her.
She groaned. "You're making it worse. And I can't just tell you anything. If I tell you this…"
"It's okay if you're going to tell me you're in love with Roger. I can't respect it, but it won't change our friendship." He raised his eyebrows.
"Fred, you know I'm not in love with Roger. I'm…I'm in love with…Merlin, I can't say it."
"Go on, Kates. It's okay. I can try and help."
"But you can't help. I wish you could, but…Fred, I'm going to ruin our friendship."
"Nothing you can say can change anything, Kates."
"But it has to. You don't understand, it's inevitable."
He looked a little sullen. Katie nodded.
"Then you know where I'm going with this," she said softly. "And I wish I didn't have to hurt you like this, but I—I need to get it out. If I don't say it, you're going to go on thinking I'm demented with no reason. But I promise there is one, just not one you're really going to like hearing. And it's going to be weird for you, but…I need you to hear it. At least once."
"Katie, I—"
"Fred, please, just let me get this out. I—I came back to see you and tell you I wasn't going with you because I was spending holiday with Roger because of…of what I'm about to tell you, but I couldn't get it out because I saw you sitting there with your guitar, and you were playing…Fred, that's my favorite song…and…and all I wanted to do was just go up and…and kiss you, but I couldn't, I know I can't, and I know I never can, and I also know that I just killed the friendship, but I don't want you to feel bad because it's totally my fault, and…and this is probably the longest run-on sentence I've ever let myself carry on with. And I just ruined everything. You're with Shanna now, and I know that, and that's…that's whatever. No, I mean that really sucks. Because I love you. And now you're upset, I know, I can see it in your face and I'm so sorry, Fred. I'm so sorry."
She wanted to sit down but she was afraid if she moved she might fall through the floor. She looked up at him cautiously. His face was a tumult of emotions, anyone could see that. He seemed to be searching for the right words. Katie felt like she could kick herself for putting him in this situation, just so that she could get some closure for herself.
Half turned to one side, Fred finally spoke. He stared at the wall and cleared his throat.
"Katie, I broke up with Shanna a week ago."
She stared at him intensely. "What?" she asked.
"I…I can't explain it. Everything was great, but…she just wasn't you. If I can use that analogy again, she was like sunny weather but you were my rain. And I know that's cheesy for you to hear, but you needed to hear it, too. Anyway, I couldn't get up the courage to tell you that I'd broken it off because I didn't want you afraid that I was going to try and make a try for you again. Now I don't know what to do."
Katie fidgeted awkwardly. She felt like this was the moment where she was supposed to assure him that everything was alright and, hopefully, kiss him, but somehow the timing seemed off. They looked awkwardly at each other until Mrs. Weasley, of all people, burst through the door.
"There you two are!" she said, exasperated. "Well come on then, George and Ron and Ginny are already in the car. Katie, honestly, couldn't you have packed sooner?"
She waved her wand and all of Katie's things flew into her trunk. Mrs. Weasley easily levitated the trunk and walked out of the door. "Come along, you two, your father needs to return the car by tonight!"
Fred and Katie stared at one another and then burst out laughing. The tension in the room vanished instantly and the absurdity of the moment swung into full view.
"Well, you heard my mother," he said. "Let's go." He smiled a little and cautiously took her hand. She smiled slowly back at him and let her fingers lace through his, and he led her out the door.
"Poor Roger," he whispered into her ear on the way down to the car.
She laughed. "Yeah…poor Roger…"
Fred opened the car door for her and leaned down next to her ear.
"I'd go the whole wide world, I'd go the whole wide world just to find her."
Katie grinned up at him as he slid in next to her and finished singing the strain into her ear. He paused for a second and then kissed her hair. She smiled awkwardly as they looked at each other for a few seconds and then, finally, kissed on the lips.
"Oh, sick," George protested. "Mum, Katie and Fred are swapping spit right next to me!"
"Oh, get over yourself, George," said Ginny disgustedly. "Come on, play exploding snap with me."
"I can't play exploding snap if my brother gets to play tonsil hockey!"
"We'll try and keep it to a minimum, how's that, brother dear?" grinned Fred.
Katie laughed. "How about we don't?"
"Yes, alright, that would work as well."
"It's going to be such a long holiday," moaned George.