When You Say Nothing At All
Disclaimer: Shin Shirayuki Hime Densetsu Pretear is the property of Kaori Naruse and Junichi Satou. All events and actions contained here within are fictional works of the author herself, unless otherwise stated; this is purely in the author's mind.
Pairings: Hayate/Himeno, Sasame/Takako
Spoilers: The whole series. This takes place after the series has already ended. Please be warned.
A/N: This has been written for a while...then my laptop broke...and I haven't had a chance to get it up before now. So, this is my second attempt at Pretear fanfiction which I hope is as good, if not better than the last. I was really thankful to all of you that gave me a review for it. Much, much, much appreciated. So...onto the story then. Oh, and Hayate actually says a couple of things in this...as opposed to his silence last time.
When You Say Nothing At All
He was talking to Sasame, whose arms were wrapped securely around Takako, by the giant wind chimes in the garden where they'd fought together for the first time, and where the gateway between Leafenia and the Awayuki grounds now stood. His dark blue hair was being blown everywhere by the strong wind that was blowing that day and, every once in a while, he would irately brush away a stray lock from his eyes; the Wind Knight annoyed by his own element – it was a funny sight indeed.
Himeno hid her grin as he turned and spotted her, directed, most likely, by the Sound Knight, who had heard her arrival. A small smitten smile appeared on his face as he said his farewells to his two companions and heading towards her with a small blush already spreading across his cheeks, whether from seeing her or from the teasing he was getting from Sasame and Takako, she didn't know.
'Probably from the teasing...He looks so cute when he's blushing. No one would believe that this is the same stoic Wind Knight that I ran into on that fateful day – the day that changed my life.' Himeno thought, returning the smile and giving him a small wave.
"Hayate," she greeted as he came closer to her, and latched onto his arm. He'd long since given up trying to shake her off – now, he just rolled his eyes. "How's everything?"
Hayate sighed overdramatically, signally to her that he was only playing with her. "Why do you insist on leaching yourself to my arm every time I see you, Tulip-head?"
She smacked him playfully. "That's for calling me Tulip-head. When will you realise, Hayate, that I have a name?"
"You do?" His eyes widened in mock innocence, earning him another smack on the head, this one considerably harder than its predecessor. "Ow...Himeno, must you be so violent with me?" He rubbed his head and looked up at her from his position on the ground.
"You know you love me."
Her eyes widened with dread as she realised what she's just let slip.
They stared at each other in shock, cheeks simultaneously going red. She hadn't meant for that to come out – she was trying to say 'you know you love it' not 'me.' She slapped herself mentally. 'Idiot, Himeno. You really are an airhead!' Silence stretched over them as they continued to stare at each other in horror, not knowing what to say.
Himeno broke the silence by laughing nervously. She reached out her hand, breaking Hayate out of his daze, and helped him up, reattaching herself to his arm and trying, in vain, to keep the blush from spreading.
She sneaked a peak at his face from under her lashes to find him staring back at her, that same besotted smile back on his face. He turned away quickly, having been caught staring. She hid a small grin of her own and soon began chattering easily again, practically skipping along beside him.
They never said it out loud – either of them. Every time Himeno mentioned the word, a blush would cover his features and things would get awkward, but she knew. 'I've always known.' It was in his every action. It was written as clear as day in his eyes – and that smile.
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'If there is such a miracle called love...'
Her eyelids fluttered. She wasn't sure what was happening; all she knew was that she had been dying – maybe even dead – but something had brought her back. She wasn't sure what, but there was something important in this world – something she needed to go back to – she couldn't leave. Not yet. It wasn't her time yet.
Her eyelids felt like lead, as she forced them to open, exposing her eyes once more to the light of day – and Hayate's eyes.
They were wide with surprise and wet with tears.
'He's crying? Hayate's crying for me?'
She smiled softly at him, trying to reassure him that it was okay – that she was okay.
As if breaking out of his daze, he pulled her close, clinging onto her for all he was worth, tears flowing unchecked down his cheeks.
"Arigato...Kami-sama, arigato..." He whispered it over and over again, cradling her gently in his arms, rocking slightly – unconsciously – backwards and forwards, hand moving through her hair. It was as if he was on auto-pilot – so relieved that he no longer had any idea what he was doing.
She didn't mind. She let him hold her. It was a relief to know that he too was still alive.
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Sometime later, when Hayate had convinced himself that she was indeed alive and in his arms, he had pulled away, blushing slightly. He then helped her carefully to her feet before slipping his arm back around her waist. 'In case you fall,' he had said. But she knew. He didn't want to let her go, afraid that if he did, he would lose her again.
She smiled at the memory, hugging his arm closer to her again and resting her head him, just enjoying his warmth and closeness.
On that day, just as most days now, he had hovered protectively at her side, ready to defend her from anything be it man or beast – be it friend or foe.
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"Sasame," she greeted the Sound Knight as he strolled into her room where she was resting. It was a couple of days after the battle, but she still wasn't feeling at her best – and her parents and Hayate had decided that she wasn't to go anywhere – at all – until they deemed her fit to do so which, if Hayate had his way, would be a very long time from now. She had hardly seen the silver-haired man at all.
"Himeno," he smiled at her. "How are you feeling?" He walked over to her, handing her a box of chocolates and sitting on the end of her bed.
"Better. Much better. But Hayate doesn't agree," she said, making a face. "He thinks I'm going to collapse or something if I move so much as a muscle." Her eyes softened as she remembered the attention she had been showered with. "He's a silly goose, isn't he?"
Sasame laughed. She smiled, eyes shining as she looked at him. It had been a long time since she'd seen or heard him laugh and it was nice to have the Knight back again. Whatever he'd done, he was still the Knight that had helped her through the beginning – one of her most trying times – and she'd never forget it. She'd missed him and his words of wisdom.
"Yes," he replied, still chuckling a little. "But I think he'd resent being called a goose. And besides, you don't look as if you mind too much."
"Oh, not at all! I love being waited on hand and foot, but I'd really like to go for a walk. I haven't been out of here for days."
Sasame shifted uncomfortably, obviously hearing the small plea in her voice. "Why don't you ask you manservant to take you when he comes back?"
"Because he won't take me... He thinks I'm going to break. Sasame, please?" She looked up at him with those big puppy eyes, breaking his resolve.
"Hayate's going to kill me," he grumbled as he moved to help Himeno up. She squealed happily, thanking him, voice filled with delight. 'But I suppose it'll be worth it.'
They had only made it half way round the pond, Himeno chatting happily away the whole time, when Hayate caught up with them, clothed in his Knight's clothing, eyes wide with fear and panic.
Himeno waved at him, tripping in her enthusiasm. Hayate started forward to catch her, but Sasame was already there.
"S'ok! Sorry about that, Hayate. I'm alright, Sasame caught me before I hurt myself," she answered him before he could voice the question. If anything, the reply didn't make him relax, it made him tense up even more.
Himeno didn't understand. But obviously Sasame did. He stepped forward after making sure that she wouldn't fall again.
"I didn't do anything to her, Hayate. She wanted to go for a walk and asked me to accompany her. I didn't hurt her." He spoke slowly, in a manner with which one would soothe a terrified and panicked animal, ready to strike at the smallest threat.
Hayate bared his teeth back, not seeming at all soothed by the radio-personality's voice. "I told you to stay away, Sasame. I warned you that I didn't want you near her on your own or with Takako." He took a threatening step closer. "I said that I didn't trust you with her. What part of that didn't you understand?"
A fight looked inevitable – until Himeno lost her balance and took a sharp intake of breath. Hayate had her in his arms not a second later, held protectively against his chest.
Hayate sent another glare in Sasame's direction and the Sound Knight took it as his cue to leave.
"I'll talk to you soon, Himeno," he said and quickly amended, "but not when you're alone."
Himeno opened her mouth, but Sasame was gone.
She felt Hayate relax but his grip on her never loosened. She looked up at him. "Hayate, you told me that Sasame was your best friend, that you had forgiven what he did because, like the rest of us, you understood that he did it for love...You told me that you trusted Sasame with you life..."
"I do."
"Then why...?"
He looked down at her, eyes clouded with relief and something else that she couldn't name. "I do trust him with my life, Himeno – but not with yours."
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He sighed happily as he watched her. He'd looked down worried when her usually endless chatter had trailed off, but her lips were curled up in a small smile – there was no need to worry. His eyes traced those lips, remembering the feeling of them on his own. He'd never forget.
He wouldn't forget that torture – the agony of heartbreak, of thinking that he'd lost her. That he'd lost her without ever telling her how he felt. He had never known that sort of pain before – never known a pain so intense, so heart wrenching, so destroying. He would have ceased to exist if he had truly lost her.
But Leafe had been kind. It had given her back to him.
And one day, one day soon, he would tell her what happened that day – and he would tell her what he felt for her.
Her eyes rose to meet his, shining happily.
Yes, he'd tell her soon – even though he had a feeling that she already knew.
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Himeno laughed happily, spinning around in delight as she skipped ahead of him, a basket full of flowers in her hand.
"Come on, Hayate! Hurry up!"
He followed at a more sedate pace, carrying a picnic basket for two. He couldn't help but grin at her pleasure. He adored watching her laugh and treasured her smiles – knowing that he'd almost lost them made them worth all the more to him, and when it was just the two of them like it was now, he was the happiest man on Earth and in Leafenia.
Himeno didn't know it, but he'd been charged with keeping her away from the mansion for the day whilst everyone else prepared her birthday party. When he'd asked what she wanted to do, she'd shot him one of those brilliant smiles that stole his breath and answered that she'd wanted to go on a picnic with him. Alone. She wanted to spend her special day with him. Alone. And that had suited the others just fine.
"Hayate!" A flower carelessly thrown in his direction warned him that, if he didn't hurry up, the flower girl would soon be following. And that would hurt. A lot. So he picked up his pace and joined Himeno on the grass, laying out the food and settling down to listen to her voice.
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"This is brilliant. This has been the best birthday ever," she whispered, holding onto Hayate's hand as he flew them back slowly to the Awayuki Mansion.
"What, Tulip-head? You liked spending your birthday with just me for company?" He teased affectionately.
She took the question seriously. "Of course! I wouldn't have it any other way." She turned herself around so that she was facing him. "Really. Thank you, Hayate."
He blushed at the intensity and sincerity he saw in her eyes; he was ready to confess there and then but, out of the corner of his eye he saw the house approaching. "There's the mansion; we should get inside."
Himeno looked disappointed. "Why? I want to stay out here a little longer...I don't want this to be over so quickly..." He didn't want to either, but he knew that the others were waiting for them to come back. It wasn't fair of him to keep her all to himself.
He smiled at her again, tugging at her hand. "Come one, Tulip-head, the night's not over yet."
They landed in front of the door and Hayate gestured for her to open it, letting her go in first.
"What's this?" She asked in mock indignation. "You're not going to open the door for me? Not gentlemen-like at all!"
"SURPRISE!" the chorus rang out, perfectly in time.
She was stunned. Her whole family, the Leafe Knights and Takako as well as a few people from school were all there, waiting for her. She turned slowly to Hayate to see him watching her happily.
"You knew?" She asked incredulously.
He nodded, giving her a little push towards the others. "I've had you to myself all day, Tulip-head. Go and spend some time with the others before they get jealous."
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This had been the best birthday in the world. Things couldn't get any better than this. The warmth of her family around her – and she considered the Leafe Knights her family – as well as her friends...all there for her. She'd danced the night away, loving every moment spent with these people she adored so much – the people who meant the world to her. She'd never been happier.
Sasame twirled her around fluently. The Knights, even little Shin, seemed to have this effortless grace about them and she'd enjoyed dancing with all of them. There was just one more person to dance with – but she'd save that dance until the last dance. Even as Sasame moved her around the floor, she could feel his eyes on her.
Hayate.
He wasn't really watching her. He was watching Sasame. Even though they were in a room full of people...
'Hayate no baka! When are you going to understand that Sasame isn't going to hurt me?'
The song ended and Sasame lead her off the floor, conveniently in Hayate's direction. Kissing her hand lightly, and with a 'happy birthday, Himeno', he slipped her hand into Hayate's – a clear sign to show that he knew who Himeno belonged to and wasn't trying anything – and disappeared into the crowd in search of Takako.
Their eyes met, both smiling and blushing.
Without hesitation, he led her onto the dance floor.
I'll come back because, when this is all over, there's something I need to tell you. So I promise I'll come back.
"Himeno," he whispered, pulling her a little closer. Her face turned up to meet his, question in her eyes. "I believe I have a promise to keep."
She was confused. For a moment she had no idea what he was talking about – then realisation dawned. "Hayate...you don't have to...I already know. I've always known."
He raised a hand to cup her cheek tenderly. "I know. But I want to say it anyway...I guess it makes it more real. I want to keep that promise. Himeno..."
She leant unconsciously into the warmth of his hand, eyes sparkling in the candlelight. His breath caught. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, that she was his world. He wanted to tell her how much it had hurt when he thought he'd lost her forever, when he thought he'd never see her smile or hear her laugh again. He wanted to tell her that without her, there wasn't a point to living his life, that she had his heart, body and soul in the palm of her hand.
He wanted to tell her all that and so much more.
In the end, he simply settled for 'I love you.' Some feelings were just too intense, too beautiful to be spoken out loud – and some things were just too magical to be put into words.
But all these things are understood, because their hearts beat as one and their souls tell each other what words cannot express.
As Himeno stood beside her cake, the most important people in the world to her singing 'Happy Birthday' to her, she realised that she had been wrong earlier in thinking that she couldn't be any happier. She felt Hayate's arms wrap around her and his chin coming to rest on top of her head – now she couldn't be any happier.
She didn't even need to blow out the candles, she thought with a smile, her wish had already come true.
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The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all.
"When You Say Nothing At All", Ronan Keating
A/N: Well...I hope that that was satisfactory. So, any comments whatsoever...please, please, please take the time to let me know. Constructive criticism and comments are cherished; flames are used to roast marshmallows.
Thanks for reading.
Dea