I have officially left the light of god. There is no hope for me.
Well. This was awkward.
Dipper had been dreaming of getting physical with Bill Cipher for months. Whether it was his own subconscious, or if it was the triangle himself planting those dreams in his subconscious, it didn't matter. Either way, Dipper had been wanting to get up close and personal with Bill Cipher ever since he'd returned to Gravity Falls after graduating college, and now was going to be his chance.
Or so he thought.
Where an isosceles triangle had been, there was now a man with medium length blond hair and unnaturally golden eyes on his lap. Said unnaturally golden eyes were focused on him, and he could see the lust burning within.
Bill leaned forward to kiss Dipper with his new, human lips.
Dipper responded weakly, enthusiasm for the encounter waning. He could feel his boner starting to falter, his dick beginning to soften in his pants.
Bill pulled away slowly, confused.
"Isn't this what you wanted, Sapling?" Bill asked, using a more endearing nickname than the old "Pine Tree".
"Yes, well, yeah... it's just... well..." Dipper trailed off. He didn't know how to admit it. How does one admit such a freaky, unnatural kink?
"What? Would you rather I take the form of a human female? Because I can, I'm just not at all used to it. I'm not a fan of internal genitalia, or the lumps of fat on the chest for that matter," Bill said. It was weird enough having all these organs inside of him. Adding more would just make it worse.
"No, no!" Dipper replied, he didn't want to further complicate things. Oh boy. How was he going to explain it. He thought back to the defiled bags of Doritos under his bed. The time he got really horny next to the window with the triangle in it. All the times that he saw something triangular and was forced to confront his own weirdness.
"What is it then?" Bill asked. Usually, when he pulled the, "take a hot human form" trick, it made humans more interested, not less. He'd made a few nice deals by taking the human form.
"I'mattractedtotriangles," Dipper said quickly, extremely embarrassed.
"What?"
"I'm... sexually attracted to triangles. It's gotten to the point now where I am more attracted to triangles than I am to humans," Dipper explained, his head low and blushing furiously now.
Bill started to laugh. He started to laugh so hard that the human form dissolved and he returned to his triangular form.
"Well why didn't you just say so, kid?" Bill asked, before tackling Dipper.
And then they fucked.
I've had this idea in my head for awhile. It feels a bit rushed, but I'm not going to write a sex scene between a triangle and Dipper jfc
I hate myself so much on this descent into madness