TRIANGLE (part2)
NejiXSakura. Still somewhat my first fanfic. I'd love to hear from you.
Naruto is not mine.
Those in italics are flashbacks.
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She stopped from her tracks, staring ahead.
She doesn't want to see it.
She all ready knows.
One of her friends was soon beside her and seeing her distant stare, he looked at her with worry and concern.
She lightly shook her head.
She was breathing hard, trying to catch it up.
She was well trained, yes. But this time she hurried so fast like there's no tomorrow, like there's no future.
And there is none.
She stepped back as soon as the others caught up and went on to that horizon.
Out of sorts, she rushed towards the opposite direction.
Her eyes were shut until she bumped hard against a tree.
She covered her ears as she fell on her knees.
She doesn't need to feel this.
Please. Anything but this.
Something more painful than being left out cold on a bench after saying something that shouldn't have been said.
Maybe because that has been painful from the start.
But this, this is different.
It started with nothing and blossomed into everything.
If only there's a switch to turn herself off.
Why in the darkness of her tightly shut eyes she sees his face?
Why in the silence of her covered ears she hears his voice?
Why in the soft blowing wind she feels his touch?
Why even taste what sweetness is if the aftertaste is so bitter?
Bitter like poison. Perhaps, poison would be better.
Beads of tears started flowing and she knew she's all messed up.
What she doesn't know is when it will stop. Or if it will actually stop.
Didn't he tell her?
How he likes her smile, her laughter, her vibrancy.
He will be sad at this, she thought as she weakly wiped off her tears.
He brought her back from that black hole.
As if she never left that bench.
She couldn't because her strength has abandoned her.
Then he came to sit beside her.
Until she's ready, he was just there beside her. No compromise. No agreements.
If she didn't let him in then she wouldn't have to go through this.
Maybe that would be better.
Sometimes memories are just not good enough.
Her thoughts started flying towards that day.
When the usually stoic young man held a single pink rose, the first gift.
She fought the urge to laugh.
He was so real although that definitely wasn't him.
It was weird.
Of all people around her, her mischievous blond team mate, her kind of bitchy girl friend, her wonderful sensei, those weird guys in green, of all people around her.
How did he do it?
She always thought he was cold and insensitive.
And she was so wrong.
She remembered the first movie, the first dinner, the first walk.
How he patiently took all the comparisons.
They were, after all, similar in many ways.
Any other guy would be in a fit and then give up.
But he didn't say a word, no complaints or even the slightest hint of annoyance.
Until one fine day she woke up smiling, like the world was painted with the colours of the rainbow.
Thinking of him, his hair, his eyes, his hidden smiles, him alone.
The other name vanished. When and how, she doesn't know and she doesn't care. Slowly but surely, it did.
She liked meeting his old fashioned and traditional family.
She liked watching him while he quietly sits and meditates just to disturb him and force him out of it so they can have tea instead.
She liked the way his hand feels holding hers.
And when they pass by that cold bench, she chuckles. She then holds his hand tighter and smiles at him.
She likes that confused face of his.
She's the only one who can do it.
He is her pride and why not when she is the envy of every girl who sees them?
She worked hard for him. He's not always safe but she wanted him to know that he can go out there and go back to her and be safe once more.
Why is this happening then?
How could it be? Could it be a nightmare?
Because he's strong. He's very strong.
No one can match him. No one comes close to him.
She wanted to save him.
Just as he saved her.
But she couldn't.
Instead, here she is, wiping her face just for tears to overflow again.
All those books, all those practice, all those times she saved the dying and yet she couldn't do anything for the one person she wanted to protect.
Protect with everything she has.
She felt a hand gently tapped her shaking shoulder.
What would I give, she thought.
Anything. Everything.
Her past, her present, her future.
A sacrifice. A pledge.
Her mind, her body, her soul.
For she cannot offer her heart. It's too full of him.
What would be enough for this person touching her to be him.
She heard her name.
A voice familiar to her but it was not the voice she wanted to hear.
The next words were like blades carving her skin.
Deeper and deeper.
Until it is deep enough to stop her from breathing.
She wanted to see him but she doesn't know what to do once she's there.
She might fall on her knees and beg him to wake up.
Or she might just hold him tight and never let go.
Never let him go.
Does he even know? Because she never said it.
The cool breeze carries his scent. Her favourite scent.
He doesn't really like it when she's all gloomy.
But it will take her forever to smile like that again, that much she is sure.
She found herself whispering his name as her eyes felt heavy.
Then maybe she will see him in her loveliest dreams.
Only then, she can breathe again.
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I glanced at the mirror one last time before my best friend grabbed my hand and soon we were hurrying along one of the Fire Country's busiest streets. She looked stunning. She always looked so stunning. I looked simple- nothing special, but presentable.
"It's going to rain, it seems…" I said.
"That's why we're in a hurry."
"Seriously, I'm so happy I finally got you to come with me!" My best friend continued.
I smiled. It was something I learned.
"Oh I'm so sorry!"
I lost balance and almost hit the ground.
"Watch where you're going! You could have hurt my friend!"
"I'm really sorry!" The stranger said.
"Are you okay?"
"Are you okay?" He asked, staring straight at my eyes.
"Yes, don't worry…" I gave him an assuring smile.
"I'm sorry sir! I was in a hurry and I wasn't looking! It's my fault!"
At the moment of impact, he activated his Byakugan and it was like that for a brief moment. The man must have sensed that he's no regular guy. He was bowing politely and continuously as he said his apologies.
"She's all right so don't worry about it. Just be careful next time."
"Uh huh, be careful. Not every girl is as strong as me." I laughed a little.
He smiled and laced his fingers to mine. This is one of the busiest streets of the country no matter what season, the incident wasn't so surprising. Especially that day, the streets and the establishments are packed with people. He doesn't like crowded places but I was pushy and as always, I won.
"Sa-ku-ra! I'm asking you, are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine."
"Well, the jerk is gone so I guess we'll just have to let this pass, our date is more important than giving him a chase. Whatever happened to you? You're like…"
"I drifted… I'm sorry…" I forced a smile.
Ino must really be excited about our date because she grabbed my hand again as soon as she saw me smile although I'm sure she knew I forced it. We continued heading towards the designated meeting place. I didn't want to go out on a date. I'm 21years old with one boyfriend on my file and I'm fine with that. That's just perfect.
I wanted this to be a special day. It's quite a task to look great with the littlest make up and ornaments but I know I've never looked this beautiful before. And him, well as always, he's effortlessly, breathtakingly gorgeous. I know we're going to catch attention, not that I have a problem with that. I want everyone to know. My arms wrapped around his neck and I pulled him close so my lips can touch his. Soft, sweet, and pure, it was my first kiss and I'm sure it was also his. I opened my eyes and I couldn't help but giggle at the slightly shocked look on his face. He looked down with the cutest blush I've ever seen. The fireworks above us lit the dark sky to glittering colours and everything went according to my plan.
"I'm turning 18 next month."
"I won't forget, we have a calendar at home, don't worry…" He said, finally looking back at me.
I bit my lip to avoid laughing. I have grown this liking to his dry humour.
"Can I get my birthday present now?" I said, with the sweetest smile I can pull.
"What would you like?" He smiled back at me.
"Will you be my boyfriend?" I sounded like I'm begging, and it's meant to be that way.
"Don't say no… please?" I continued, still with that perfect smile.
He laughed a little before encircling his arms around my waist and giving me another chaste kiss.
I felt a nudge on my side. It was Ino, as if trying to wake me up.
"I like you… you're really pretty!" The guy said.
We were all ready introduced, apparently. The other guy was talking fondly with my best friend and this one is going to be my date, I suppose. We were outside a popular restaurant. I didn't
even get his name although I was smiling genuinely the whole time. He's the only one who can make me smile that way.
"Let's go inside." Ino's date said.
My date nodded and offered to take my hand.
"I can't…" I whispered.
"What's wrong? Don't you like the place?" My date was looking intently at me.
"This restaurant is not just popular for the food and ambience, they also boast of…"
"Tea…" I cut him off.
We sat down on our favourite spot. The Hyuuga property is indeed huge but that spot gives us a cool shade, a sturdy tree for him to lean on, green grass to cover the ground and a view of the sunset. Because of him I started to like drinking tea. I used to call it bitter. He calls it rejuvenating. We would have tea almost every afternoon, talking about how our day went as we watch the setting sun. Then he would whisper three lovely words to my ear.
"I know…" I replied as I give him a kiss on his pale cheek.
It was our afternoon routine. It was just like any of those afternoons when it suddenly hit me. That was how I want to spend all the afternoons of my life.
Ino touched my forehead. They must be thinking I'm delirious or something. I just felt weak and drained. I knew I'm not ready for this. Every memory is still etched in my whole being, clear and vivid. I may never ever be ready for this.
"I'm sorry… I shouldn't be here…" I said.
"What's the matter with you?" She asked, looking worried.
"I can't do this…" tears welling up my eyes.
My date took my hand, maybe to comfort me or to assure me of his intentions but I quickly pulled away. I really wanted to punch him hard on the face and knock him down.
"What is he thinking?" I thought.
"My hand that he proudly held, I don't want to lose his feel."
"Three years. No one held my hand. No one has the right to. It's for him and him alone to hold." My thoughts raced through my head one after the other.
"I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry." I forced another smile and started to walk away.
I saw a sad look on Ino's face, surprise on the two gentlemen's. I'll let her do the explaining, I know she understands. She's not my best friend for nothing.
I walked inside my room without turning on the lights and on my bed, I started to cry. My tears gushed out uncontrollably. No one knows it though. That at night when I'm all alone, my heart feels like it has a huge hole. I live a normal life, at least I try. Everyone thinks I'm fine, that I moved on. It has been three years after all. But that's superficial. It's a question that I still have these tears to shed after three years of crying, every night, sometimes even in the morning, or just when I think of his name. I take the long route going to the hospital to avoid passing by their manor. I stopped bringing him flowers because I find myself stranded there, wanting to be just there. I blamed myself for wasting time and making him wait. This can't be fate. There is no such thing as fate. And if there is, I'm sure even fate would take pity and give him back to me. I want to see him. I want to touch him. I want him to know that I want and need him. That not even that bastard made me feel this way. That I'm so sorry it took me so long.
"And that I love you…"
"I still really really love you."
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And I really really killed him. I swear I love Neji so much so I dunno why I'm doing this. I'm such a retard.
Before I forget. Thanks for reading!