It was meant to be a holiday full of fun, laughter, celebration. I never made the holiday. Barely managed to survive the journey. Sad really, because I'd built myself up for the trip. Thinking I could just relax, let go and forget what had happened. How wrong I was. Stupid. Thinking I could escape, get away from him. It didn't take me long to realise what was happening. How it was starting all over again. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I was still terrified. Maybe even more because at least after last time, I told myself it was over, I was safe. But it's not over and I'll never be safe. I'll never escape him, he pulls you in and like a rat, I scurry towards him, curious. Curiosity didn't kill the cat, he did.
Frightened I hold my breath, praying he won't find me again. Animal-like and desperate I run. And run. And run. But, I'm not scared anymore, just tired of all his games. I am the one he hunts. The one he would kill if he could, but he can't because I'm the girl that'll fight back. The girl who'll bite back when she bitten. I'm a shadow of my old self. I'm not a person anymore, but a creature hunted that only comes out at night. Never showing my true self because; if I did I'd realise; I'm just like him. Only I won't admit it, can't admit it. The truth would destroy me, so I survive through lies.
He sniggers, mocking me but I keep going. Never backing down, never stopping because if I did I'd have time to think about how I'm the same as him but different. I think-how are we different? Me and him? The only thing that keeps us apart is that he knows what he is and accepts it, but me I fight it. I don't want to be like him, a monster killing, destroying any life that survives.
As I race fighting the evil inside of me, I smell the sweet scent of flowers and feel the cool, calming wind on my face. Blowing away all the horrors from my memory, clearing my mind. Here I feel safe, calm and peaceful, I wonder why. Looking around I take in the beauty of it all, the trees, those sweet flowers, the early morning dew on the grass, the sunrise. He's stopped tracking me, not given up, he'll never give up but then neither will I. But for now, he's gone. I know he'll be back, he always comes back to carry on the fight. I'll carry on too, I won't give in now, and I won't give in tomorrow. I keep running and running and running. No matter how long it takes.
But until then, until he returns, I can smile, relax even. Maybe go on that holiday I never had. Hopefully this time I'll get through the journey and actually make it to the holiday. For now, I'm free. Free to laugh and take in all the splendid, beautiful, breath-taking parts of life. I can live the life I wanted to, live the life I was meant to, live the life I would have lived if it wasn't for him and the fact that I'm damned.