The Prisoners of dance.
I'm going to a party tonight, New Years party. Just friends and colleges from work coming together, talking, laughing, drinking, hanging out... nothing you didn't know about those kinds of parties. It's so great to have a chance and get you mind out of the cruel and unfair would we live in. At least for a night.
I spent at least 2 hours, choosing a dress, and stopped at a dark red, even maroon one. A long dress, with naked back. It's one of my favorites. I remember, when I first saw it, I immediately fall in love with it. I did have nothing to do, but buy it. There weren't any nearest event that I'd need it for, but hey, now it is. Besides, it can't be enough dresses, can it? A customer said that it was made for me, when I tried it on. I couldn't agree more, it definitely looked amazing on me. Well, it still does.
So, now, I'm standing here, in my bedroom, in front of a mirror and thinking what's missing... jewelry, something that always makes you look better. I picked a chain with a little heart on it, made of white gold. Very simple, yet elegance. My mom gave me as a present for my 21 birthday. She said that it would bring me luck and love of my life. Well, I'm not sure about this, but that it's really beautiful, I can reassure you. I looked at myself for the last time, satisfying with my reflection, then quickly took a glance at my watch "..ohh, great, I'm late... as always. Who comes at those kind of parties on time, anyway?"
"Hey Buddy!" Danny approached me.
"Hey" I answered.
"Waiting for someone?" He wondered, noticing, that I was looking at the front door.
"... just looking around" I answered diplomatically.
"Right" .. He replayed, with a mocking voice, informing me, that he didn't believe.
"Look at her!" He exclaimed suddenly so loudly, that some people, standing beside, looked at us with their question faces. ".. She's so hot, isn't she?" he continued like we were alone here.
I look at the direction, Danny is staring for the last minute..
"Yeah" I answered with no caring..
"What do you mean "yeah.." " he repeated my tone.. "it's yeah.." he said it with such excitement, like it's the first time that he sees somebody, he really likes.
"Go for it" I advised, wanting him to leave me alone. Don't get me wrong, I love Danny, he's great and funny, probably one of my best friends, but sometimes he can be very annoying.
"You're not interested?" he asked me
"Don't you get it yet?... she's all yours"
"We'll see..." he answered with a smirk of his, and starts walking to her direction.
I looked at the front door, once again. You know, Danny was right – I'm waiting for somebody. This somebody, who I met when came here 1,5 years ago. I'll never forget this day. The day, Jack introduced his team for the first time. My heart sank, the moment I saw her. From that moment, I knew for sure - my life would never be the same. She seemed so inaccessible for me at first, like she was far away. Even, if we were discussing the case or just talking, I felt she's somewhere else, in her peaceful world. I took me almost a year to get in her peaceful world. In the end, it turned out it's not so peaceful. My first attempt failed. She rejected me. It hurt, it really did. I got used to this hurt and accepted the fact that she's not mine, and never will be. So I learned to love her in a distant, making sure that she won't find out about my feelings. If she does, she will go even more far away. And that's the last thing I need.
But after a tragedy, that happened to her, after this horrible accident, we got closer. She accepted my offer. It was my happiest day ever. It was the first day after her recover. She barely kept herself together. I wish, she would stay at home for some more time. But being stubborn as she is, she didn't. Well, that's one of the reasons I love her.
I looked at the front door once again, and there she is. My heart punches again. It always does, when I see her. Just like the first day I saw her. Somehow, it becomes very hot in this room; I don't know how to breathe any more. She looks so gorgeous, as ever. Stunning. I can't take my eyes from her, literally. I don't think I've ever seen more beautiful woman. I can't wait anymore, so I started walking towards her.
I don't know why, but I'm nerves. I feel like it's my prom day. How stupid, I've attached the parties like that like a hundred times before. Hmm.. Where to go?... bar, I think a drink would be a great start for this evening. I started searching for a bar. But barely, I took a first step towards it, I heard a soft voice behind my back. The voice of a man, I know so well. I turned around and answered smiling: "hi". He smiled back. It's always like that: if one of us smiles, the other answers to it right away. It's kind of out "thing". Not this kind of polite smile, you know, just to be nice, or please somebody, but really big and even giddy smile, that lets the other know "I'm really happy to see you".
"Want a drink?" He asked, reading my mind. How he does it? It seems like he always knows what I need. Even that day, when he first asked me out for drinks. I knew that I needed that, but still said "no". Why? Simple - because of Jack, I thought I still had feelings for him. Now, I understand how rude it was, he just wanted to relax. And our romance with Jack, if you can call it this way, was really silly. Why were we dated? I don't know, I thought I was in love with him. Now I understand that I wasn't. Maybe, I loved him, in my own way, but definitely was not in love. The way our relationship went: this terror that reminded you every minute how wrong it is. Knowing that every glance might be the last one, every look might lead to a disaster. All of that faded my love for him. His wife and 2 sweet kids didn't help either. How could I do it? How horrible I was? Just thinking of this makes me freezing.
I heard a little couth and looked up.. aww, Martin, poor Martin is waiting for my answer..
"I'd love to" I replied smiling. I can't help it. When he's around I just can't stop smiling. Well, I don't really care, as long as he's smiling back. We started walking to the bar, and I noticed how handsome he looks tonight. Well, he always looks great, let's admit it, he's cute, but something is different about him tonight...
We finally reached the bar.
"Sampane?" he wondered
"Yeah" was my answer. He offered me a glass some seconds later. I tasked it, while examining the room. It's so beautiful here and feels really comfortable. I don't regret coming here.
I wonder what's in her mind. She's looking at the dance floor with a thoughtful smile.
"Want to dance?" I asked in a whisper. She looked at me surprisingly. For a second, I thought she would reject me again. Then, I noticed this light in her eyes that gave me her answer before her month "sure".
I take her hand softly and lead her to the dance floor. My heart starts beating faster again. Her hand is so warm and small in mine. When we reach the dance floor, I hug her a little and put one of my hands on her hip. The other is still holding her hand. And we slowly start dancing. She hesitates at first, like not sure about something, but then relaxes and comes a little closer. I love the warm her body gives me. Love the creeps that only she can give me. For a moment, I thought that it wasn't such a sensible idea to ask her for a dance. What if she understands that I have feelings for her? I don't want to loose her, especially now, when she began to trust me and the ice started melting between us. But when she's around me like this, I can hardly control myself.
She took my hand out of mine? And I thought that that's the end, she's going to run away from me. Instead, she put both of her hands around my neck and gets even closer, if it's humanly possible. I have no choice, but to put my hands on her back. Just as I did, electricity took over my body. The feeling of her skin under my palms seems very welcoming, because, I think I heard a little moan, escaping her month. Ohh, please, help me, I'm dieing. I was wrong, it isn't the end it's just the beginning.
I never thought that a dance, just one inoffensive dance, can born so many emotions in me. My head starts spinning and I just have to put my hands around Martin's neck, not that I much complain about it. Thanks God, he's holding me, otherwise, I'd be lying on the floor right now. What's going on with me? I think it's an alcohol. However, could just one sip of shampane make me so weak? I put my head on his shoulder by intuition. Okay Sam, breath, try to calm down or it won't end up well. It's just Martin. But that's the problem, it's not just Martin. It's Martin who rescued me, when I was falling in a precipice. What he did? He agreed to go out for drinks. It's not much, but that's what I needed at that moment. He forgave my rejection and gave me one more chance. I'll always be grateful for this.
I knew that he had feelings for me back then, when he asked me for drinks. But he never tried to do it again, so I thought, he's over me. But now, we're dancing, and I swear, I can hear his heart is beating as fast as mine. It's like one heart, instead on two.. tick.. tick.. tick... I can't hear the music any more; our heart beating is music for me now. I've forgot that there're people in the room, besides us. I don't know how he does it, but when he's around, everything and everyone seems fading away. It's such an amazing and new feeling for me. I've never felt like that, ever. With Jack, I always had to look around, wondering if somebody was looking in our direction. With Martin, I don't have to worry about anything. Well, maybe, that I just might loose myself in him. Ooops, I think, it's too late for it. I've already had.
I leaned to him a little, so that my nose is touching his neck, just a little. I breathed his smell in.. mmm, he smells soo good, I can't describe it. There's no name for this smell. It's just Martin's smell. I leaned in a little more, and now my lips were millimeters from his neck. I give him a little kiss, very soft and quick. I don't even think he felt it. Why I did it? I don't know. I can't explain. That's what it's called, "first do, then think". Jesus, what's going on here? Look at me? I'm all over him and kissing him in front of everybody. I closed my eyes. What would he think of me now? That I'm a whore and making out with every guy, who asks me to dance? I can feel him moving his head out of my neck. Ohh, noo.... He's going to look at me.. I think I'm blushing, my checks are burning... yeah, I'm blushing. He put his forehead on mine gently and I'm paralyzed. I can't move, I can't breathe.... I can't think straight, well, let's admit, for a while already. All I can feel is his warm breath on my lips. "Sam..." he murmured into them. Suddenly, his arms left my back. on noo, Martin, don't do this. Don't you realize that I'm going to fall? Put them back! Now! Just in a second, I can feel that his hands are touching the skin of my neck, this time. okay, that's much better. I guess, he's saying something, but I can't hear it, my mind is concentrating on his breath and his lips that are almost on mine....
"Hey, you two!" What? Who? Where? Why?!!
"Jack asked me to find you. We're going to take some photos together. Are you coming?"
why? Why? WHY? He always has to come in the most suitable moment? Didn't I tell you, that I hate him sometimes?
"Yeah.." Martin breathed out. I think he's the first of us, who found the faculty to say something. I'm still a little shaky. You see, Martin, what you're doing with me?!
"I'll be right there.." I murmured to him and started walking to a bathroom. I need to put my thoughts together. I swear, Danny will pay me for this!
Where is she? I don't want to stand near anybody, but her. Who invented this stupid tradition- taking photos on each New Year? I mean, I thought that was really great last yeah, but now, I can think of something else, really interesting to do. How did we get there? I didn't even have enough time to see her reaction. She just stormed out. I bet, she would let me kiss her, she was as hungry for me , as I was for her. I'm still burning. But Sam is Sam. She's got negative point of view on any relationship, because of her history. I can pretty understand it. What if she freaks out? Or runs away from me? Or starts ignoring me from now on? She might get scared and put the walls around her once again. I don't want to be my, our, feelings the reason for her walls. I don't want any reason for those wa..
"Hey" she interrupted my thoughts. I more felt, than heard it, because, her breath was on my back. She comes out quickly and stands beside me. I haven't seen her face yet, but I know that she's smiling. I could hear it in her "hey". I turned to her slowly and see her face all glowing. Awww, I want to see her as happy as she is now, all the time. I don't want this beautiful smile ever fades away. And a thought, that I'm the reason of this smile makes me want to jump up and down. Jesus, I look like I'm 15 years old. But I don't care right now. I've never been this happy in my life. She makes my life perfect, makes it complete.
The puzzle is done; the last peace is on its own place. My heart is where it's supposed to be. Finally. From now on, this is my happiest day ever.
She leaned to me while, Viv's taking photos. I put my arm around her waist, she doesn't complain. I don't think I can be more happier.. I just hope that she feels the same way.
"Smile!" I don't need this reminding right now. I hope I won't need it in a long time. Who knew that this evening would become the best of my life? I can't stop it.. I can't make my lips go to a serious way, stop trembling every time he touches me, stop blushing every time he looks at me. Honestly, I don't want to. I think, I look silly, because Danny and some other people, whom I don't even know, are looking at me in an odd way. What can I say? If they would be in my place, they understood me. I just wish that those feelings wouldn't ever leave me.
Maybe, my mom was right? Maybe, this present will bring me luck and love? Maybe, it's already had?
The end.