ItaSaku - Remember me

At first I was afraid of him... Of every word he spoke to me with his emotionless voice. I was afraid of his black eyes, so full of sorrow, eyes so deep that you could lose yourself in them. I was afraid of his touch when he was cared for my wounds, so unbelievably gentle, just like he wasn't himself. Or maybe it was just how I had portrayed him in my mind. He wasn't like everyone else that were talking about him with their voices full of fear. When he was carrying me back home I saw in him a gentle and caring man, sensitive about my own suffering. Finally, he was the one who protected me. He didn't allow his white haired partner with eyes full of madness to hurt me.

- Enough, Hidan – I heard from the distance when the Jashinist reached out his hand to me. The voice… the voice of my savior stayed in my memory forever just like his face. He was full of odd dignity. Wearing his Akatsuki cloak, he was slowly walking towards my tormentor. I couldn't see his face at first, my vision blurry because of the tears filling my eyes. I was terrified and wanted all this to end. My tormentor quickly turned around, obviously pissed off thanks to the appearance of the other man.

- Itachi? – he hissed. –Want to join me?

- Let her go. – his companion quietly replied.

I wiped away the tears with my hand, not believing my own ears. I saw a handsome face, framed by hair as black as the night itself. His almond shaped eyes were focused on the white haired Jashinist, shining with a trace of fury. It seemed that Itachi wasn't going to accept his invitation, seemingly ready to attack his own partner… to protect me.

-What are you going to do? – he growled, straightening himself up in front of the brunette, apparently unwilling to let her go.

- I will kill you, Hidan. And this time you will definitely stay 6 feet underground.

Neither wanted to give in and allow victory to the other. They were staring at each other for several minutes till the Jashinist squinted his eyes, still full of bloodlust.

- Fine, do whatever you want with her! He snarled leaving the meadow. – But remember, you won't get away with that, Uchiha!

We were alone now, just the two of us. Then he knelt down and reached out his hand to me. I moved back, still not knowing his intentions. He looked so frightening with his aura of night. He lowered his hand looking at me.

- Don't be afraid – he said quietly – I won't hurt you.

I looked at my bleeding leg and then again at him. His gentle voice and sad eyes… it all made me trust him. He didn't look like would kill or hurt me.I gulped and nodded. He read it as a agreement. His fingers touched my skin; his body was so warm. He bandaged my wound gently, trying to kill the pain. It was then I met Itachi Uchiha… The Konoha Demon. My savior. My lover…

* * *

I could feel his kisses on my neck, his lips gently caressing my skin. It felt so good… so damn good that it filled me with a sense of fear. Just like the whole world was reduced to the warmth of our bodies, embracing each other. We were giving each other strength which was filling our hearts. Thanks to him I was finally able to forget about Sasuke. Forget the unfulfilled love which had given me only sorrow, and nearly consumed my soul. I wasn't like Naruto. I felt dirty, dirty because of the lust burning inside of me. I wanted to have Sasuke only for myself, being unable to accept his rejection. Yes, I was selfish, so selfish… But everyone wants happiness. He was my happiness… I could never have which was still escaping me.

I… being so proud thinking that I would be the one able to reach him, the reason each failure was making me drown in sorrow even more. I kept asking myself… " Why can't you love me?". He was able to love after all. He had human feelings and he also wanted to find happiness which was out of his reach. I thought that the three of us, myself, Naruto and him… were destined to wander for eternity and our souls are chasing after something we can't have. It was keeping us alive.. our hope was still alive not allowing us to stop our chase. We were waiting for a sign, for something which could change our fate. We were so naïve… Dreaming about unreal things, like when everything about our lives would be okay again.

I… I was imagining myself running into Sasuke's arms… him whispering "forgive me" with tears in his eyes… imagining the moment when Naruto and I were giving him a second chance… a second chance for a normal life, with us. Just like it used to be. It was so funny to listen to Naruto, when he was telling me about his dreams. That all of us were walking together hand in hand into the sun. Maybe it was silly, but… it was giving us the hope we were looking for in everything. We needed comfort since life didn't give us any of it. He was still escaping us when we were trying to make him return to us. All those memories… when we laughed, cried and trained together… it all seemed so natural, so normal… were filling my mind.

I couldn't hold my tears when I was thinking about what we had lost. I was sure no one would ever able to sooth my pain...Then he came. Replacing the one who I thought was my chance for a second life. At first I kept rejecting that feeling…because… what would happen to the feelings I had had for Sasuke? A lie? A crush? I felt guilty and helpless against those feelings in my heart. I was torn between two brothers; all the questions in my mind were left with no answers. My world turned upside down. I was seeing Itachi more often, he was helping me with my training and took care of me…

I saw his Akatsuki coat, his Konoha headband with a scratch on it, I saw the sad of a man I had begun to… love. There was a connection between us… because he also was carrying the pain of the guilt in his heart. We both couldn't reach happiness and find someone we could give it to.

It made us get closer and closer uniting our broken souls into one. In his eyes I saw understanding; he just knew me for who I am and what I feel. For him I wasn't just a pink haired girl who tried to change everything with her tears, but had no power to do it. For him, I was a woman who was ready to fight for everything she had believed in. Because I believed. That one day… everything will be better.

- What are you thinking about Sakura? – he whispered into my ear. We were lying next to each other covered with warm sheets, embraced. His long hair were tickling my cheek and I could feel his breath on my neck. We felt so good in this whole night aura. I looked at him and smiled.

- I… it doesn't matter – I said quietly, turning my head away. I could feel him staring at me, he lifted himself up a bit and supported himself with his elbow.

- Sakura, tell me. He removed the hair from my face and stroked my cheek with his thumb. I felt embarrassed that I had been thinking about Sasuke. I still had so many questions which only he could answer… Only him. I didn't want to make him feel sad because of it especially not now, so I'd decided not to tell him. I couldn't change the future with the past, after all. I shook my head closing my eyes. I didn't want to look at him, I didn't want to see his sorrow, worries and longing which he had still been feeling in spite of our bond. I… I just couldn't handle it. It hurt more than my own feelings.

- You're thinking about him, right? He knew me too well. Hiding my emotions was stupid, because… he had seen to much already.

- Itachi… - I turned my face to him. I saw his eyes looking at me, so full of concern, but also love. – Tell me why. Why it all ended like this? He remained silent for a moment thinking about his answer. His black eyes seemed become more dark…

- It's destiny. Nothing happens without a cause.

- So his destiny is to wander the whole eternity killing you? He closed his eyes and a sad smile appeared on his face.

- His destiny is to… be the hero, Sakura. We all have our goals, our mission in life.

- How can you let yourself being killed, Itachi?! – I sat up being completely angered, but he calmed me down.

- Let myself being killed? – He hid his face in his hand losing himself in his thoughts. I knew that he as trying to find the right words. – Sakura, I…

I knew that he hadn't known how to say it. I felt the pain his every word made him suffer, bringing the memories back which were so painful to him. Now, when he was lying like this with his face hidden in his hands, with his long hair scattered around his face he looked like the sorrow was consuming his soul. For a moment I had the feeling like I was looking at… Sasuke. I reached out my hand wanting to comfort him, but… I knew it would only make things worse, I couldn't disturb his inner battle. It wasn't mine… So I moved my hand back looking at him.

- I… died a long time ago… - he whispered a moment later, looking at me through his fingers. He smiled in a bitter way and his eyes were… empty. Just like the eyes of a dead man. I moved back a bit, still looking at him.

- I…Itachi…

- I died in the moment when I had been assigned to that mission by the Hokage. Do you… know what feels a dying man?

I shook my head, shocked. I wanted to listen to him and remember everything, it was the key to understanding.

- You see the vision of what happened… or what could have happened if I decided to refuse the mission. But the sense of duty was stronger. I knew I had no choice. If not me, someone else would do it. I thought it's better to keep it in the… - he stopped, trying to find the right words.

- To end it myself. Uchiha. I was looking into the eyes of dying people. Members of my family. Some of them were trying to fight, but no one could stop it. The couldn't stop me. The Konoha Demon. I was looking in the eyes of my father while he was dying in my arms. They were full of anger, misunderstanding, fear… Fear of dying. I could smell the scent of fear around my mother. She wasn't angry. She accepted her fate. While dying, she whispered Sasuke's name… begging me to spare his life. I stabbed the blade in the heart of my beloved one… Her hair tickled my face when she kissed me for the very last time. I remember that she touched my face with her hand. "I'm sorry… and don't forget me… Uchiha Itachi…"

He went silent lowering his head. My mind was freed from all thoughts when I was looking at his figure… the figure of a person whose sense of duty was even stronger than.. love. I saw the tragedy of a man who kept missing his lost innocence, those moments when he could smile from the bottom of his heart. For peace and happiness. I could feel that this man who was lying in front of me would never attain happiness in this world. His sacrifice was the cause of his unimaginable pain and suffering. Tears filled my eyes which blurring my vision of the world around me. I was trying to hold them back, but… I just couldn't do it. In that very moment heroism had a brand new meaning. To sacrifice oneself in the name of other people.. that was one thing…, but being the one carrying the burden of hate and sorrow… It was the act of the greatest bravery a human I would ever know. I felt bad, not knowing what to say. I've never thought that… that I'll have the change to know the secret of the Uchiha clan.

- Then Sasuke returned home. I had to kill him too…but… I couldn't. I couldn't kill my brother, my only, beloved brother…. – he closed his eyes, losing himself in memories. - I couldn't. So I've decided… to take his anger upon myself.. To make him hate me… it was the motivation to gain power which most couldn't even dream of. Sharingan gave him the opportunities which he had never expected…. I... And I was still dying. So… I took everything on myself and left the village to return one day, test my brother's power and die from his hands… to allow him to return to the village as a hero and rebuild the clan.

Hot tears ran down my cheek unnoticed, falling onto the soft sheets. That night my life, my beliefs… everything had changed. It was hard to accept the truth. I didn't know why I'd felt such deep grief. For myself, for him, for Sasuke, for Naruto.

- Itachi…

He tilted his head smiling weakly. - Now.. I never thought that I would ever care about anyone. Then you came. I don't know why, I couldn't let Hidan kill you. You reminded me of my brother so much. If you had died… it would be like he died too. All those sentiments made me human again. I've felt disgusted with the whole Akatsuki. I've hated them. I just felt sorry for Sasori. It was one of the few human feelings which I have left in my heart. But now… - he wiped the tears from my cheek.

- Now you're here. In a dying man you've ignited the will to live.

He lowered his head. Then he sighed and laughed quietly. - Now when death is so close… I desperately want to live. I used to wait every day for the moment of release… Death seemed to be the savior from the sin I've committed. And now… Now life is calling me again. I'd love to fix everything I've done, to make everything happen different… I was a fool… A fool, Sakura.

Suddenly I fell into his arms and hugged him. Tears were running down my face, tears of sorrow, understanding, sadness… I cried for him and for myself. I felt like all the problems of the world became my burden, and I couldn't face them, but I kept fighting. That's the way he must had felt. This unending suffering. To live in a lie, exiled from real life, losing his beloved brother. I didn't know what I should had been feeling. I just knew that I don't want him to feel lonely… to let him know I'm by his side.

- Itachi… - I whispered kissing his forehead He embraced me and rested in my arms, sighing. - You, you will not die. You'll live as long as… my heart beats.

I couldn't believe someone had to suffer like this. I felt that I was losing him with every moment, that he's running away from my arms. We couldn't be together. He had no chances for that. Our hearts were burning with desperate passion which could never be fulfilled. Even though I was so close to him… I could still feel that it was not enough. Still not enough. Destiny united our souls so tight, that I could feel his fear of death. He was accepting everything staying calm… with the cold calmness.

- Sakura… His voice was trembling. I could feel his fingers clenching on my body. My tears were slowly running down his skin, shining like diamonds in the light of the stars.

- I'm sorry … and please… promise… you will never forget me… Haruno Sakura.

* * *

The night we had spent together was magical. It was the last time I saw Itachi. The evening we spent together was some sort of a farewell, and that night I promised him that I would never forget him. And I keep this promise. In the two hearts beating inside of me.

Forever…