Just a random thing I wrote at some point in time. I just found it and I can't really remember. Some sexy times and a few cusses. This really is just a feel good story. All about love and such.

I own nothing. Please review!

"Chandler," the voice moaned out as I bit into their neck, "Please…Fuck! More!"

I pulled back fully and stared into the emerald green eyes. My hand slowly ran down the flat, but toned, chest until I reached my prize. Squeezing the penis softly I listened to the raspy gasps coming from the man below me. I could barely believe I was the reason he was making those noises.

"Chandler," he gasped grabbing the back of my neck, "Fuck me."

"A small grin came onto my face as I let him pull me into another heated kiss. We had been locked in my bedroom for a few hours so as I lined myself up I wasn't worried about him being stretched enough. The scream that spilled from his lips though I wasn't ready for.

"Shh," I hissed moving slowly.

Another moan fell from his lips while his legs wrapped around my waist. With a smile I started to pound into him. As the moans and silent screams poured form his lips I watched his face. I loved seeing him come so undone and know I was the reason he was like this.

"Chan-Chandler!" he screamed one last time before he came.

I rocked into him a few more times before I went over the edge. Both of us fell onto the bed completely spent. It was the first time we had had sex and I knew that I was never going to regret it. I loved him too much to ever regret being with him.

"Chandler," a voice spoke far away bangs coming with it, "Come on, dude, get up."

Blinking a few times I felt myself started to wake up. Almost instantly there was a wave of depression filling me. As much as I loved having those dreams it ended up reminding me of something I could never have again. At least not with the one person I wanted it with.

I let out a sigh and stood up slowly. I had fallen asleep in a shirt and sweatpants so I didn't throw any clothes on as I grabbed my blanket and went into the living room. Today I just wanted to cuddle under my blankets, but I knew I could stay in my bed so my chair would have to do.

"Hey, buddy," Joey smiled coming out of the bathroom, "Why aren't you getting ready? We're meeting everyone for lunch in like twenty."

"I'm not going," I replied wrapping the blanket tighter around me, "Go without me, Joe. Tell everyone I'm sick."

"What's really wrong?"

I hated hearing Joey sound so concerned over me. Especially over something I had been lying to him about. Joey was my best friend, but truthfully I just wanted all of this to go away. I wanted the whole love thing to have never happened so many I could find someone else.

"Chandler," Joey soothed kneeling in front of me, "What's wrong?"

"I lied," I whispered, "About my first time."

"Them tell me the truth."

"It was with a guy named Silver. He and I went to school together. Both of us were sixteen and I'm still in love with him. He was the first person that I ever dated. Ever loved."

Joey stared at me for a moment and part of me thought that he was going to hate me. I let out a relieved sigh when he pulled me into a hug as a grin formed on his lips. Joey might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was one of the sweetest people in the world.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Joey asked pulling back.

"He left," I shrugged, "I wanted to forget about him."

"He just left you?"

"He moved."

Before Joey could say anything else the phone was ringing. He let out a sigh and got the phone. I listened as he greeted Phoebe. Part of me was surprised when he said that neither of us were going to be able to make it to lunch. Joey leaving me alone was I was like this was insane.

"So," Joey started hanging up the phone and going to his chair, "Tell me about Silver."

"I knew him when we were sixteen, "I smiled slightly, "He had natural blond hair, but he always dyed it maroon. It was like your hair when you first met Rachel. Emerald eyes, pale skin, and he had his lower lip pierced twice. He was slight, but muscled. I know that he swam a lot. He was beautiful."

"He sounds like a good guy."

"He was. Joey, I swear, that boy was perfect. I never felt horrible or depressed around him. And his personality? So sweet and smart and sarcastic and naïve. He made me feel loved and wanted whenever I was around him. I love him."

"I'm sorry, Chandler."

Letting out a sigh I closed my eyes. Silver was instantly on my mind. It was a little weird that after all this time I could still picture him perfectly, but I guess that's what happened. Though I did with I could forget him. I really needed to move on from the dream of ever being with him.

"I have an idea," Joey suddenly spoke, "Can I burrow some money?"

"Sure," I agreed, "You know where my wallet is."

Joey quickly got up and got my wallet before leaving the apartment. I knew that Joey might not have understood what was going on, but he was trying so hard to make me feel better. I just didn't think that anything short of Silver walking in would help me right now.

I ended up falling back asleep after a few minutes of Joey being gone. Silver appeared the moment I was truly sleeping. I knew that I had at least a few more days of being tortured by my dreams and thoughts, but that did nothing to help with the sadness that overwhelmed me.

There was something about this dream that was different though. Usually it was just a memory from when we were together. Now Silver looked grown up. Both of us looked grown up, but he was the same despite the sudden age difference. He looked so wonderful I my dream.

"Hello, Darlin'," Silver smiled, "How are you?"

"Confused," I answered looking around the bedroom, "What's going on?"

"You're dreaming. You just want our relationship this way now. You want us to be adults."

Giving Silver a confused look I couldn't help but smile happily as he moved closer to me. His arms wrapped around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. We started to sway slowly without any music. I wasn't sure I knew what was going on. I had Silver in my arms though.

"I love you," I whispered kissing the top of his head, "Why can't this be real?"

"Chandler," Silver sighed pulling away, "This can be real, but you're going to have to look for me."

"You moved to California."

"When I was sixteen, but don't you remember the talk we had about the future?"

"You said that you wanted to open a bookstore/café in New York. You swore to yourself that you'd move back."

Silver grinned happily before pulling back me down for a kiss. The second our lips touched it was like the old dreams. I could feel how much both of us cared about each other, but I knew that this was only a dream. One that I would probably be waking up from soon.

"Promise me?" Silver questioned breaking the kiss, "Promise to try to find me?"

Before I could say anything I was startled awake by the front door slamming. Quickly jumping up I saw Joey hold groceries in his hands and sending me a look of apology. With a shake of my head I went to the counter and sat down.

"Joey," I offered running a hand through my hair, "Can you help me with something?"

"Sure," Joey grinned, "Anything."

"Help me find Silver."

The next day we started our search. We didn't have much to go on. I knew that his full name was Silver Moon Jones, his parents were hippies, and that he was a year younger than me born on July 23. I also knew that it might take awhile to find him, but I had to try.

Almost four months later and we still hadn't found anything. Part of me wanted to completely give up on the whole thing, but I had asked Joey to help me. Joey wasn't going to give up unless we found him or he died. I was grateful that I had him right now. I needed someone to see the good in life.

"Chandler," Joey yelled throwing the door open, "I found him!"

"What?" I breathed staring at him.

"Silver owns a bookstore in Soho called 'Silver Lining'. He lives in the apartment above it."

Grinning up at Joey I stood up from my stool and pulled him into a hug. I might have wanted to find Silver, but that was the last thing I expected to happen. My luck usually wasn't this good. Now I could go visit Silver and we could get back together.

"Thanks, Joe," I smiled softly.

"Where are you going?" Joey questioned as I went towards my room, "Going to get changed?"

"No, I'm going bed."

"Come on, man."

"I'm sorry, Joey. I can't though. I know that I'm in love with Silver, but I can't see him. It's been too long of any of this to work out well. Thanks, Joey. I'm really glad you found him, but this is the end."

Before Joey could say anything else I went into my bedroom and locked my door. This was just too much for me to handle. Quickly digging through my closet I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I knew that everyone would be upset, but I needed something to make this easier to handle.

As I sat in my room I wondered what I was going to do now. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to move on, after all these years I accepted that would never happen. I just needed to find a way to forget about this whole thing and face the fact that I would be alone for the rest of my life.

With a sigh I put out the cigarette and climbed into bed. It was only five p.m., but I couldn't' stand having all these thoughts running through my head right now. I doubted that I would get any relief from them even when I was sleeping, but I hoped just for a moment I wouldn't have to deal.

When I woke up in the moving I could feel tears running down my face. Of course I had another dream about Silver, but this time it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest as he walked away from me. I didn't see this ending any other way.

"Hey man, Joey greeted when I walked out of my room, "Get dressed."

"Joey," I sighed.

"No, we're just going down to the café. Come on, everyone will be there."

Sighing I realized that Joey wasn't going to give up unless I did what he wanted. I went back into my bedroom and changed before letting him lead me down to the coffee house. Everyone was in their normal seats and I hoped that they could make me stop thinking about Silver.

"Wait," Joey stopped me before I could go to the couch, "I need you to sit here."

"Why?" I asked as he pushed me into a chair.

"For your date."

My eyes widened when I realized what Joey was saying I shouldn't have been surprised by this, but I was. Part of me thought that just knowing where Silver was would be enough, but now I was going to see him. Was I ready to be completely rejected by him?

As my thoughts continued I noticed that I was no longer alone at the table. Silver had joined me. He looked almost the same as before. He had lost the maroon dye, so his blond curly hair was neatly piled on his head. His eyes looked the same. The major difference was his three-piece suit.

"Your friend said you drink this," Silver spoke softly pushing a cup towards me.

"Th-Thanks," I stuttered before clearing my throat.

Neither of us said anything for awhile. In truth I didn't know what to say at all. We had been apart for so long and I just had no idea how to make up for all the lost time. Maybe Silver had changed too much for this too work out and we'd end before we began.

"Chandler," Silver smirked touching my hand gently, "Breathe."

"Easy for you to say," I glared slightly, "You're not freaking out."

"Tell that to my heart. I swear it's beating so fast that if we used it as an energy source we'd have enough power for the world for the rest of time. That didn't make sense. Damn it, Chandler, why do you do this to me?"

"Do what to you?"

"Make me feel like I'm floating and falling at once? I'm a grown man, but sitting here now I feel like I'm sixteen again."

I stared at Silver in shock. Neither of us had really talked about our relationship when we were together, but now he was. I really hadn't expected him to want anything to do with me after all this time. Me being hung up on him was expected, but to have him want me back was insane.

"Silver," I sighed.

"Look," Silver cut in, "I know that this probably means something different to you than m. I'm just happy to see you again."

"Why?"

"Because you were my first love and I still love you."

My eyes widened when he said tat. Silver and I really were on the same page. We had been apart for so long though. I didn't want us to rush into this only to find out we ahd changed too much for this to work out correctly. We needed to take this slowly.

"Stop," I spoke through clenched teeth, "Just stop talking, Silver. This is just too much."

"I can," Silver started standing up, "I can leave if you want."

"No, I don't want that. I want this to slow down. We haven't seen each other in years and you just told me you still love me."

"Can you say you don't love me?"

"Of course I can't, but I don't know you anymore."

"Then get to know me!"

"It's not that simple, Silver."

"Wow. You haven't changed at all, Chandler. Still a terrified little kid too afraid to get what he wants."

Silver stood up and started to make his way out of the coffee house. I knew that I was being a complete ass about this, but I didn't know what to do. Having Silver walk away from me was not something I could handle though. Quickly standing up I grabbed Silver by the arm and pulled him into a kiss.

It felt like nothing had changed between us. The same spark was there and I could feel just how much he still cared about me. It was odd at the same time. Both of us had been each others firsts and while we had kissed other people we hadn't been with a lot.

Now both of us knew what we were doing. As our lips moved against each other I felt Silver run his hands down my sides before resting on my hips. I couldn't help myself as I moved closer until we were flush against each other. It was like we were saying hello.

"One date," Silver broke the kiss, "We'll have some bad Chinese, watch an even worse movie, and just talk. Get to know each other again."

"Okay, I smiled, "Tonight at seven. We'll meet back here."

"See you then, Chandler."

Smiling happily I pressed my lips back to his and let that feeling consume me. This was the best feeling in the world to me. All the emotions that we didn't want to talk about ending up being poured out in those kisses. It meant absolutely everything to me when it came to this relationship.

Silver broke this kiss again and ran his thumb over my lower lip before leaving the coffee house. Feeling a mix of confidence and cockiness I made my way to the group. Sitting next to Joey I grinned happily before pulling him into a hug. I was upset at first, but now I was glad he pushed me.

"What was that?" Monica asked staring at me.

"Silver," I grinned.

"And Silver is a random guy you met and started making out with?"

I shook my head quickly and explained to everyone who Silver was. As I talked I noticed that the smile on my lips grew every time I said his name. I knew that I wasn't really acting like myself, I was a commitaphobe, but this was Silver I was talking about.

When it came to Silver all the rules went out the window. In fact, he needed a whole new rule book and he didn't even know. Everything about Silver made me think it was a game of some sort , but he would never do that.

"Told you it was a good idea," Joey laughed, "You have a few hours to kill. What do you want to do?"

"Foosball."

Joey clapped his hands as we got up from the couch and made our way to our apartment. I didn't really know what was going on around me because I felt like I was on cloud nine. Silver and I had a date tonight and hopefully this would all work out.

That's the part I was hung up on though. This whole thing could fall apart at any minute and I wasn't handling it well. There was nothing I could do about any of these thoughts or scenarios. I couldn't just wait to find out either.

I had to do just that for the next few hours at least. It was only three o'clock and Joey's talking couldn't distract me. My mind ran through every way that this could end badly and even though I knew it was stupid I thought that was the only way for it to end.

Silver had grown up into this man that I thought was so amazing. Even with the brief conversation I knew. I hadn't grown up at all. I was still the childish sixteen year old that everyone picked on. There was no reason for him to choose me.

"Chandler," Joey's voice pulled me from my thoughts, "What's wrong?"

"I just feel bad about these little guys," I groaned softly.

"What?"

"Yeah, think about it. They spin around all day chasing after this ball and not everyone gets to hit the ball. I mean, the ball is right there and they can't hit it."

"What's going on, man?"

"I'm sixteen."

"What?"

"Silver is all grown up now and I'm still that sixteen year old awkward kid confused about everything."

"Hey. Hey, Chandler, Silver is going to love you again and if he doesn't he's an idiot."

"But I…"

"No buts, Chandler. Everything will work out. Now, come on, let's go to the girls apartment."

Smiling slightly I nodded my head in agreement before going to open the front door. I froze as I started to turn the door knob. I had three hours now to get ready and the real panic was starting to set in. Silver and I were going on our first date in years.

As I continued to think I felt Joey move me so I was sitting in my chair. At first I could hear him saying my name, but it felt like I was trapped in my own little world. I couldn't focus on anything around me. It was like I was completely gone. Then I felt a hand pinch the side of my neck startling me.

"Chandler," Monica soothed kneeling in front of me, "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Blinking a few times I tried to pull my focus in. once I felt my mind clear I saw that Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica had joined us in the apartment. Them, along with Joey, were watching me in concern and confusion and I couldn't blame them for that.

I knew that I was acting completely crazy right now and I didn't understand why. Silver might be the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but this whole thing was pushing me over the deep end. And that was something I didn't want.

Silver was it though. He was the one that I belonged with. Ross and Rachel belonged together, once they quit being idiots, and Monica and Richard. Joey and Phoebe were still looking, but I knew that they'd find the people the belonged with. I knew all that but I was still scared.

Part of me wanted to blow the whole thing off and stay in my safe little bubble while the rest of me wanted to go find Silver now. I didn't know which side to listen to. Both of them made perfect sense and I just couldn't make up my mind.

"Chandler," Phoebe tapped my shoulder, "You have ten minutes until your date."

I gave my head a quick shake and jumped up from my chair. In the process I almost knocked over Monica, but I couldn't stop to apologize. When I heard the time I felt a surge of energy and courage hit me and I had to be downstairs before it left.

A few moment later I was standing by the table waiting for Silver. My eyes went to the clock again and I saw he was ten minutes late. Feeling my heart plummet I started to make my way upstairs when I heard someone yelling my name from down the street.

"Thank God I caught up," Silver panted out, "I'm so sorry, Chandler. Zombie and The Doctor go out and I couldn't find them."

"Zombie and The Doctor?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, my rabbits. Anyway, please forgive me. I know I'm late, but please don't let that be the end of the night."

"We should go then. Get the food and watch a movie or the other way around. Whatever you pick."

"How about movie then food? I'll pick dinner, Chinese, and you pick the movie."

"Die Hard."

Silver started laughing slightly before offering me his hand. I didn't know what to do so I slipped mine in his and let him led me away. I was amazed by the feelings that I could get by just having his hand in mine, but I love it at the same time.

"Do you mind?" I asked pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

"You still smoke," Silver smiled slightly.

"Yeah, is that going to be a problem?"

"No, I mean, I absolutely hate smoking."

"I'm sense a but. A pretty big but at that."

"But you're so fucking hot, Chandler. And that wasn't appropriate to say on a first date."

I stopped outside the video store and looked over at Silver. He was running a hand through his hair and staring at the ground. He looked so sad and confused by everything that was going on I wanted to do something, anything, to make sure he never looked like that again.

"You think I'm hot," I smirked.

"Of course I do," Chandler rolled his eyes.

"Do you want to know a secret?"

"What?"

Part of me was screaming that this was the worst thing I could do. I wasn't going to listen to that though. We might have only been on this date for a little bit, but all the nerves and worries were already gone.

"If the dates good I put out," I whispered in his ear.

"Oh," Silver wrapped his arms around my waist, "And what makes a good date?"

"Something besides bad Chinese and movies."

"Alright, then we should come up with a better date. I'm thinking good Chinese food."

"Silver, are you addicted to Chinese food?"

"No, that would be weird. I just have a very strong love of it."

I chuckled at Silver as he started to pout. I had forgotten how emotional his face was. Everything I had thought before about growing up was thrown out the window as I listened to Silver talk about his love of Chinese food. It really felt like I belonged here.

Soon we were in the Chinese restaurant, having decided to skip the movie, and placing our orders. I watched Silver ask for a piece of blanket paper while we waited and wondered what he was planning Every time I asked though he'd shush me and say that it was a surprise for later.

"What do you do for a living, Chandler?" Silver asked looking up from the paper then back down quickly.

"I'm a…" I started to say before remembering something, "Do you still hate anything to do with numbers?"

"It is one of my hates of mine."

"I input numbers then. See, that wasn't so horrible."

"Tell that to the headache forming in my mind. Oh dear, it's making it's own number song!"

Laughing at Silver as he dramatically clutched his head I remembered why I fell in love with him. He loved making people laugh and he was good at it. Normally that was just my thing, but I didn't mind when he did it. I loved knowing I could go to him if I needed a good laugh.

We continued to talk the rest of the night until a waiter said they'd be closing soon. I quickly looked at my watch and saw that the coffee house would still be open. Silver agreed to getting some coffee and we made our way back to Perk.

After both of us had our coffee's we sat on the couch and continued to talk. I was having more fun on this one date then all the dates of the last fives years combined. I knew I was supposed to be going slow, but that was so hard to do with Silver.

"Guys," Gunther called from behind the counter, "I'm closing up."

"Oh," I said in surprise, "We closed two place in one date. I guess this is it."

Silver gave me a sad smile while paying Gunther before offering his hand. I took it and let him led me up to my apartment. Everything had been so perfect and the last thing I wanted was for this night to end. I just didn't know how to ask for more from Silver.

"I had a lot of fun," Silver offered when we were outside my apartment.

"Me too," I agreed softly.

"I should head home. Call me? Your friend Joey has my number."

"I will. Good night, Silver."

I turned to go inside when I felt Silver place a hand on the side of my neck. As I turned back I felt his lips against mine once more. Moaning into the kiss I rested against the wall so I wouldn't fall over. It wasn't a deep kiss, but with Silver it didn't have to be.

"Here," Silver broke the kiss while slipping a piece of paper into my hand, "This is for you."

"What is it?" I asked in confusion.

"Open it and find out."

Blinking a few times I opened the door and slipped inside the apartment. Once the door was closed I looked at my hand and saw that it was the paper Silver had asked for at the restaurant. My eyes darted from the paper to the closed door before going back to the paper as I opened it.

My mouth dropped open as I saw that it was drawing of me. I never thought I'd say this, but if this was what I actually looked like I couldn't believe that I didn't have people knocking my door down. It was so amazing.

Silver had always said that he could draw, but he had never shown me anything before. He said that he was waiting for the perfect subject he could share. Spinning around I threw the door open and saw Silver had just started to make his way towards the stairs.

Grabbing his arm I pulled him into a kiss. Silver smiled as best he could before breaking the kiss. I watched him open his mouth to say something, but I stopped him with another kiss before pulling him into the apartment and closing the door behind us. He wasn't going to let him leave again.