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Suffocating
He was the hottest guy in school as far as you were concerned. Others disagreed saying he was scary looking. Sure he was kind of imposing but you liked to describe him as statues. He was the mysterious boy who may or may not come to class depending on what mood he was in, but when he did you could barely concentrate. You would sit there doodling Kim and Jared forever and encircling it in hearts. It all seems so pathetic now but back then you were just a high school kid in love…or maybe it was just a crush. You can hardly tell now.
It was an ordinary day when everything changed. Most life changing days do start out normally enough. You sat in the back of the class bored out of your head because you finished the reading assignment early like a nerd. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until he walked into the door. His already short hair was cropped like a soldier entering the army. He didn't look sick which was odd because he had been out for a week because of the 'flu.' You blushed and hoped against hope he would look at you because your hair was cooperating today and you were wearing a new shirt you had gotten at the mall with your mom that weekend. He sat down a few seats in front of you and you sighed dejected.
While everyone was reading you sat doodling hearts and beach front property and kids that looked mysteriously like Jared. You put the pencil to her mouth and push the eraser up against your lip and then…oops. The pencil goes flying across the floor with a loud clatter that you're sure everyone can hear. You get out of your seat and try to quietly grab the pencil and return to your seat and back to obscurity. When you reach for the writing instrument your hand comes in contact with him and you feel your cheeks burn. His hand is so hot. Reluctantly, you look up and your eyes meet. This is the moment when life changes forever. Too bad back then you didn't realize that they wouldn't change for the better.
From that moment on you two are inseparable. He tells you everything about him and you couldn't care less about any of it because he chose you the shy girl in the corner. All the Taylor Swift songs are true and the nice girl always gets the guy and life is a fairy tale except when it's not, but you didn't know that then. You were just happy with the guy who was always there for you, never argued with you, and did whatever you wanted. If you were cold in the movie theater he would go and get your jacket. If you disagreed with each other, Jared would stop the conversation with a kiss. You never got lonely because he was always there. The girls he dated before meant nothing to him anymore because he had you, his innocent little flower. Life was perfect. Then things slowly started to change.
You wanted to go away to college and try to get out of La Push. You loved English. You were always reading until Jared. Reading took a back seat when you started dating. Jared always wanted your full attention and you willing gave it to him. You later wish you would have recognized that he was slowly demolishing everything in your life that wasn't him. You got accepted to universities all outside of Washington. You wanted to go to California and finally have some nice weather. You told Jared about all of this and he pretended to be happy but you could see he was hurt. Slowly over the summer he would tell her that he wanted her to stay and he would miss her. You told him that you were meant to be and going away to college wouldn't change that. You needed to find yourself. He didn't want you to find yourself unless it was finding yourself in him. The week before you were set to leave he proposed and you said yes because the little voice inside your head told you that if you didn't something bad would happen. That scared you more than anything. The man you love is dangerous.
You decide or rather Jared decides that you aren't going to college. You stay home to plan the wedding. Jared surprises you with a small home right next to Sam and Emily. You act pleased but later you cry because you are moving next door to your future. If you want to see what your life will be like in a few years look at Emily. Your last night in your old home is the worst. You don't want to leave. You don't want this life. You wanted to get a degree. You wanted to travel Europe sun bathe naked in the south of France. You wanted a man who would argue with you without silencing you with a patronizing kiss. You wanted a man who screwed up so you could then make up passionately. You wanted a man who left you alone for a while so you could hang out with friends. You wanted a man who would respect the parts of you that were just for you and wouldn't be threatened by you finding yourself. You wanted a man who forgot your anniversary. But you couldn't have that. You got a robot instead. You had Jared who wanted you around all the time and who suffocated you. Worst of all everyone thought you were lucky. They saw you as the princess who lived happily ever after. You hated happily ever after's you just wanted to be free!
Years passed on and you're dead inside. You live in a small community in a small house with a man who you now hate. You are normal when you wanted to be different. You look down at your stomach and place hand on the bump. You are a vessel of life which shocks you because you have no life left. Jared took it all. You couldn't love anymore and you aren't sure if you ever could. You think about leaving. You could go to some exotic place like Italy, or Russia, or Tahiti but he would find you. He would never stop looking for you and you know he would find you eventually. You don't want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. You looked at his sleeping form from your place I the doorway and you want him to stop breathing. You never thought you could hate someone this much. You curse the 16 year old who dared think she loved him. If you knew what life would be like now you would have left the day he imprinted and never looked back. But it's too late. You can't leave and he won't leave. He said he would do whatever you wanted but if you asked him to go away you know what would happen. All you had to do was look at Emily and her scared face. You were stuck with a man you now know you never really loved and you know doesn't love you. He loves the idea of you. He never chose you. He was forced on you by some stupid mystic crap that was once a romantic notion. There is no escape. You go back to bed and he automatically wraps her arms around you and you can't breathe. You're suffocating and no one is there to help.
a/n- I've been wanting to do an anti-imprint story for so long but none of them ever turned out right until now. Please review but please no flames!