Our feet stumbled as we leant on each other while we slipped through the door; lost in our stupor. We didn't talk much. The room was filled with silent words. I rested my palm on his lower back that dipped in matching the size of my hand perfectly and led him, slowly, quietly, to where my bed lay. There was stillness in the bedroom, like the world had frozen. Like no one had inhabited this spot for years. I could see the dust float in the moonlight that snuck through the spaces of my blind. The eeriness of this place had made me forget, for a moment, the person now in front of me; staring at me, whispering to me through his dark eyes all painted black. A step forward and a step back led us to the edge of the mattress. He stood quietly, hands by his side, and waited until the moment I brushed my dry lips against his own. The only thing he moved was his mouth. My hands cupped his face as I held him there to me, our kiss falling that bit deeper. It was so heavy. I could feel a weight on his heart hang from him like an anchor, holding him down in the sea of his own tragedies. I would let him go; I'd allow him to slip below the surface and drown come morning. My hands moved to the sides of his shoulders that were hard and thin. An unspoken agreement passed when our lips left each other as we began to undress. It wasn't a thing of haste. It wasn't a book or a movie where each partner tears their clothes off in the desperation to feel the others skin against their own; overcome with lust. No. Slow fingers, relaxed movements. He was skinny like a model. His hips were obvious, the bones protruding shyly. His waist sunk in a very modest amount. He was, in my definition, beautiful. I wasn't sure if it was a distortion of my vision, however. I could not see where he directed his vision in the badly lit room but I made my move, moving my hands down his torso and stopping at his hips. The doona sunk and moulded around us as our weight rested on the mattress. Skin tingling from the crisp night air, the almost invisible hairs on our body raising. Cold touches turning warm as we proceeded. A small grunt escaped his lips when I shifted my weight on top of his body, rearranging my comfort. The first real sound I have heard as of yet. Skin pushing against skin, fingers twitching, toes curling, backs arching. I could taste the salt from his skin on my tongue. I could feel his fingertips against my scalp. My fingers glided to places only an intimate lover should have access to. His mouth twitched in an addictive way and his head lolled back. Then pain. It was evident. I withdrew myself from him for a moment, assessing his reaction and emotion. I hadn't made such contact with him much before and knew it had its intenseness. No words. His body relaxed back down and his thin hips rolled upward. I didn't hesitate pressing my fingers back against his scared spot, pushing and rubbing. Shudders and whimpers turned into arching and mewls. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed and lifted. My vision was beginning to blur slightly from my condition and I rocked to the side slightly unbalanced. Being brought back through the feeling of nails digging into my skin I moved on; legs were pushed and changed and backs arched and hands clenched and unclenched. My jaw slackened in pleasure and his body tensed. Our breath mingled in the still air above us. The doona that was once moulded around us was being pushed beneath us and the sounds of creaking from the old, rusting bed frame could be heard somewhere in the distant space of our minds. I felt hot and bothered, frustrated and sick. My stomach twisted uncomfortably and our breath that was heavy and long turned short and desperate. His feet flexed unsurely. My thighs twitched and tensed. As the night reached its climax, the moonlight seeping through my blinds disappeared as everything turned black.

I watched as he opened his eyes. He struggled as they were so heavy, just as I struggled only moments before him. The look we shared was hollow and dreary. My head spun when I opened my mouth to speak and I paused to hold it and steady myself.

"I'll get you something to eat" I managed to finally create the words from my dry and cracking mouth. I stood slowly trying to stop the dizziness and stumbled my way to the bathroom, forgetting my nakedness. I looked like shit. I stared at my reflection indifferently as I could no longer see myself in the shell I had become and splashed my face with cold water. The handle of the tap had fallen into my hand and I screwed it back on enough for it stay in place. Picking up an old pair of boxers, I carefully eased myself into them before heading toward the kitchen. I glanced briefly back into my bedroom where I saw him moving about slowly. I picked a bit of the laminate that was peeling from my cupboard off before opening it to retrieve some bread. I was just putting two slices of bread into the toaster when he appeared in the corner of my eye.

"Um" he was meek and looked just as bad as I did. "Bathroom"?

I gestured toward it and he shuffled away quickly. My head pounded as I waited for the toast. Once it was done, I buttered it and put a piece on a stray plate and placed it on the table. I sat myself eating my own. He eventually stumbled out of the bathroom and sat in front of me, eyeing his piece of toast wearily before bringing it to his lips. We sat in silence. Once you were finished you drifted back to the bathroom. I watched knowingly.

We were seated closely, side by side on the train heading back downtown where he lived. My supplies were gone from last night and I headed in the same direction to purchase more. I offered him the flask I had cradled inside my coat pocket. He took it softly and took a swig before passing it back to me and I copied his actions, the alcohol spreading a warm fire through my body. We both struggled to keep our consciousness for the trip. My hands shook slightly from what some would think was just the cold. I buried my hands into my pockets.

"Stopping at Downtown Domino" the announcement spread through the cart. We both stood and moved by the door, waiting for it to completely stop and let us out. We glanced at each other unsurely.

"Well, bye – "

"Yugi" he spoke up.

"Yugi. Okay." I nodded. "Bye Yugi"

"Bye Yami" I watched him quizzically as he walked away.

I headed off where I needed to go, lowering my head and hiding my glassy eyes from the harsh light that shot down the stairwell leading up bustling streets of a Monday morning.

I will buy what I need and I will go back home to forget the world. And I can't remember what started this; all of my reasons have run and disappeared. The feelings stay though. They eat at me.

And I might die of medication but I sure killed all the pain.

This Story is based and inspired on the song "Lua" by Bright Eyes.

I have no ownership of "Lua".

The characters belong to Kazuki Takahashi.

Lua is written in the same style as my other story Lies which is based on "Lies" by Marina and the Diamonds and "Can't Make You Love Me" by Bon Iver.

xx