Always Waiting
It was red, No black, definitely black, why didn't I move out of the way, I could have just moved over 3 steps, but it was just too fast all I could do was stare, I remember it so clearly A1J 89K, that is the last thing I will see.
How could I run away like that after what I said to him, after all he did for me, his face was like nothing I had ever seen, pale as snow and his facials were something I could never forget, his eyebrows lowered and his lips dropped nearly touching his chin, trying to swallow that regret, sadness and anger stuck in the middle of his throat. "I can't look at you! I don't want to speak to you, I will never ever forgive you, I hate you I HATE you!" I screamed that at the top of my lungs with tears running down my face, my eyes were rawer red and I was frustrated, that's all it was, none of it was true, I wanted to take it all back, I would give anything in the world to take it all back.
It was on my 17th Birthday and I vowed to have the best, NO the most memorable, cant top party on the West Coast, I was so excited I couldn't sleep, all I wanted to do was decorate everything and put on my party dress and makeup, and arrive with the most amazing guy, Wow was I superficial, I even ditched my best friend Joey to go with that so called amazing guy, was that a mistake. Joey acted like it was okay but I knew it wasn't , see he kind of had a thing for me, well I've known since yr 2 at my 8th birthday party and he kissed me on the lips when my knife came out dirty, he just laughed and took the first piece, how could I have done that to him. It's true what they say, you don't know how much you'll miss something until its gone. When I got up that morning even though I had ditched him, he was the first one in my room, with pancakes, brown crisp bacon, the yummiest looking fried toast and a big glass of apple juice, he knew me so well, He was the nicest guy you could ever meet and I was the most superficial/selfish bitch, why would he still be my friend after what I was doing to him? He gave me my present, smiled, awww he's smile was like something from a movie, it was perfect, he was perfect, what was I thinking. I opened it, their inside was the most beautiful mirror, it was engraved, with my name * Kaytee May Johnson and the date we first met* (1/1/93 It was beautiful, I loved looking at myself haha can you believe it, that's all I was thinking of, how it would help me look great for my party. I looked up and smiled, I kissed him on the cheek. He left as quickly as he had come in turned around and smiled and then swiftly shut the door behind him.
I ate all my breakfast and then raced down stairs were all my family was waiting including Joey, they all gave me hugs, I didn't even reach an arm around anyone it was just walk and then move onto the next person and then so on for about 13 people, but I don't think they cared, or what if they did great I was being a bitch without even knowing it, I think I started hurting people around this time, and it was only like 6am. I wish I could just turn back the clock.
Sooner then I knew, it was 6pm and it was time to start getting ready, but guess what, the limo was running late and my hairdresser was freaking out because of all my dead ends and something about it was like going through the Simpson desert, with no living thing, i.e. hair follicles, I was just like OMG I didn't hire you to tell me what is wrong with my hair, I hired you because you were the most expensive there for I thought you were the best, " Just do my hair as hot! Has you can okay?" Jeeze I was even a bitch to the hair dresser, maybe I did deserve what came to me.
Finally I was ready for the best night of my life that night would have made or broke me, emphasis on the break, I walked down the steps like Cinderella except my hair was probable bigger and well I did have the glass slippers, it was perfect, well I thought it was at the time, I walked down the steps and there he was, Ryan Michelson, the Crawford high, football captain, he was tall, tanned, surfy blonde hair and perfectly chizzled, he looked like the prince in my drawings, he wore a blue tie to match my dress, and a white suite that I chosen for him earlier in the week, we would look amazing together, but that was all it was, at the end of the night all I cared about was the look and the social hierarchy.
When I turned up at the party there where thousands of people I didn't know lining up and trying their hardest to get in, to my party I thought, I was the most popular girl on the West coast, I walked out of the limo with Ryan linked to my arm, the body guards I had hired were great they, pushed and shoved through the crowed and all at the same time keeping people away from me, it was the celebrity entrance, it was perfect until I saw, Joey with Hannah, usually I wouldn't have cared that he was going out with a girl except this girl was my little sister, I mean she was really pretty and skinny, but he was supposed to have a thing for me , well I thought to myself, this has to stop and it has to stop now, I walked over not even thinking about the way they might have felt about each other, the only thing running through my mind was , this was Joey Lavelle and he was my best friend he can't like my sister, because he had to like me, I know it was selfish and stupid, but I was so jealous of her, I walked up to them and before I said anything he hugged me and said happy birthday kay kay, and then Hannah turned around, jumped into my arms and said happy birthday sissy, you deserve the best party and the best day iloveyou, at that point I thought to myself I have to break this little date up but…. , I have to do it slyly.
After that I ran into my party with them side by side with Henry and jojo kioghio, aka the bodyguards, I ran to my private quarters leaving Ryan and Hannah with jojo, Henry followed with Joey just in front, I shut the door right in Henry's face, I think he got the idea I wanted him there just not with me. I pushed Joey into a corner and just stared at him and a tear ran down my cheek, I turned around to wipe it before he saw it but he wiped it dry before I got to it, I looked up and held is hand, I asked him, "Do you want her?" he stood there stunned, now that I think about it, it was a stupid question, how selfish and desperate was I being. He finally shut his mouth and said "I like her, but…." I interrupted him before he could finish, more tears ran down my cheek, I felt like a waterfall, that would never end, just keep going, he went to wipe my tears away again, this time I stepped back and starred at my feet and said, "I can't look at you! I don't want to speak to you, I will never ever forgive you, I hate you I HATE you!" before he could say anything I was out the door running, as fast as I could, I wasn't able to see anything ,my eyes were puffy and sore. I ran out the back door with, Joey hot on my trail, I turned around to see if he was following me and I saw him a few steps behind me. I started running faster, I wasn't watching where I was going and then, I heard him yell out "I LOVE YOU Kaytee May Johnson." I stopped dead in the road and then it happened I couldn't move I was so happy full of joy and confusion and then I saw it A1J 89K, turned around and saw these bright lights. That was the last thing I would ever see, but I'm glad the last thing I heard came from the one person I truly loved, Joey. I had like this weird out of body experience, I saw Joey, my best friend, my crush, drop to the ground and scream, he quickly snapped out of it and ran to me, he looked at me and cried he was shaking and yelling for someone to help him and, no sooner then he said it Hannah and my mum and dad came running out to see what the fuss was, my mum fainted and my dad called the 000 straight away, Joey gently lifted my head and kissed it, he was bending over me, when my mirror fell out of my pocket, I had written on it with my new pink lipstick, it said as far away as we may be, if you keep on loving me I will always be with you, he held it tightly and then looked at me, telling me it was his fault, that he could never live without me, After all I had done to him, he wanted me and will always love me, the ambulance came and declared my death at 9:19pm, the driver that was driving the car that had killed me, did not come forward and got away with my murder, Joey has never been the same, many people cross over straight away, once they have died but not me, I wanted to see my funeral, it was beautiful I could not have asked for anything more. Joey had engraved 23/4/93 "first kiss, best cake." Will always be missed, but reflection will never fade.