AUTHOR'S NOTES: SOB means…Surt-Odin-Brahms. It is a name that I use when referring to those guys. And I use that name when I write comedy fanfics.Anyway, this is a story which I wrote 4 years back in 2003. So I decided to edit it and added a lot of new parts here since this is my first entry here. So prepare for Off-character dialogues.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characers used, mentioned or featured in this fanfic.
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One bright and shiny day high up in Asgard, a letter came from a travel and tour company. The letter was addressed to a certain god named Lord Odin.Sitting there on his throne….getting a damn foot scrub treatment, Freya approacheshim with the mystery letter in her hand and announces its arrival..." My Lord, a lettercame for you…"
Odin: (throwing away the nail file he was playing with) Really? Jeee….must be another one of those scam letters those low lives at Nifleheim send……
Freya: Uh….no….not exactly, my lord. Here….. (hands over letter to him)
-He opens the letter and starts reading the contents-
Odin: Hmm…. (scratching his chin)
"Dear Mr. Odin (clad in a cloud-grey kirtle),
We, of the travel and tour company are pleased to inform you that you have won an all-expense paid trip to the glorious vacation islands of Halo-Halo…."
Odin: Islands of….H-halo-halo?! Where in Mimir's name is that?! (Scratching his ear)
-Hrist appears out of nowhere and enters the discussion-
Hrist: clears throat The 'Islands of Halo-Halo' is one of the most prestigious, expensive, and one-of-a-kind resorts in the entire universe. They have white, sandy beaches with a wide variety of hotels, shops, etc…..…..this results in the varied vacationists that come from all parts of the world and from other anime and game titles. Currently, no one owns the place because the recent owner, Maximillian Pegasus, was shot dead in the head by a sniper during a renaissance parade a few months ago. For now, no one would like to claim ownership of the islands. But the only tough contenders: Emperor Rudolf Zeppelin III (from Zoids) and Treize Khushrenada are still battling it out for ownership.
-Silence and crickets chirping in the background-
Odin:……………………Where did you get that stuff from?
Hrist: (crossing her arms)……..I read travel pamphlets y'know.
Odin:…….Oh…..(continues reading the letter)
"We are also pleased to inform you that we have also sent two other invitations addressed to your future roommates, Mr. Surt of Muspellheim and Mr. Brahms of Midgard…."
Based on the look on his face, Odin couldn't believe what he was reading. It may sounded a bit auspicious and harmless. But to him, this was like a death sentence. Just hearing those two names gave him heart burn. Dropping the letter and clutching his fists in a crazy manner, he let out a thunderous "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" that could be heard all throughout Asgard. Good thing it got muffled by the sounds of an erupting volcano and the crack of lightning down in Midgard and Muspellheim, so no one was able to hear his wail.
-While Lord Odin was all touchy and groggy, Freya picked up the letter and read the last sentences.-
"And your flight is scheduled on the day after tomorrow. So we advice you to pack-up your luggage and meet us at the airport at 5:30 a.m. That will be all, sir, good fortune and have a nice day!
Sincerely Yours,
Mad Raccoon Travel and Tour co."
Freya: (surprised) My Lord, you shall be leaving very early. May I suggest that Thor be taking over while you are away?
Odin: (sitting on his throne and done with the foot scrub) sigh … Do as you wish, Freya. I shall hold you and Thor responsible for everything here……for now, I shall take leave….
-then he walks away-
"Good riddins." Freya mumbled behind his back. "Eh? You say sumthin'?" Odin said stopping in his tracks. "Uh…No! Nothing! Jee...must be those crows up on the roof…." Freya tried to cover up."..Oh…damn crows….."Odin mumbled.
And with that, he drags himself into his godly quarters and starts packing all his godly items…his godly straw hat, his godly socks, his godly cell phone, his godly sandals…tanning lotion….and all damn possible GODLY items that he can stuff into that godly travel bag of his.
A day and a half later, Odin was already off to the airport when suddenly, it hit him. He thought, "Hmm…..I mind as well go together with those goofballs." He pulled out his godly cellular phone and dialed the goofballs' number. RIIINNGGG!! RIINNG!! went the phone.
Surt's line
RIING!! "Ye'hello? Oh…it's just YOU….whaddya want?!" Surt's voice echoed. "Yeah, yeah….whatever. I'll be waiting….you better not make fun of me!" BEEP…beep. He hanged-up.
Brahms' line
"Alright, Alright….Yeah I'll meet you there….yeah, I'll show up. Now stop babbling, you're giving me a migraine." Bang! He put the phone down.
Moments later….in a freezing cold, ice field. Two shady characters wait beside a frozen lamppost. One wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, sandals, and a straw hat. The other, trench coat, shades and a charcoal-black hat.
Odin: (Shaking like crazy and covered with ice and snow)….BRrr…sure is cold here…(continues shaking).
Brahms: Brr….y-you idiot….we just HAD to go to Jotunheim, eh? Of…of all…p-places…..why c-couldn't we pick a b-better p-place to w-wait….brr…
Odin: E-easy…for you to s-say…..brr…t-that g-giant b-bastard…is….late!
Suddenly, a big statue approached them. Actually, it was Surt, looking all warm and unaffected.
Surt: Howdy. Got my bags and stuff here…and I'm all set.
-Brahms was already annoyed very much-
Brahms: You idiot! Hu-hurry it up….and let's g-get out of t-this place…..!
Surt: Oh, what's wrong? (looks at Odin) You look a little blue, Odin. (turns to Brahms) Vampire, what's with him? I don't feel anything funny.
Brahms: Y-you jerk, it w-would've been better i-if you made us w-wait in…in…M-mu-muspellheim!
Odin: And risk getting blasted off a volcano?! You nuts?! Let's get out of here!
-and so they scrammed and ventured into Brahms' Castle, hoping that they can run back to the airport.-
At Brahms Castle
Since they were already entering the domain of the vampire lord, (and Brahms didn't take lightly to visitors) he just stormed in, hoping to find his luggage and get out as soon as possible before those old-geezer-brats break anything that belonged to him.
Brahms: Hmf, I'll go get my stuff…..You better not break anything, cause it'll cost you your life!
-they walk along the creepy hallways, making side comments-
Surt: It's pretty dark here….
Brahms: (turns around) Why don't you evolve already, you primate!
Surt: Tsk tsk tsk……Hey Odin, what's been buggin him?
Odin: Nah, he's always like that…..silent……and very MOODY….
-at last, Brahms found his luggage…which was right in the throne room. Inside, Lord Odin notices something up above-
Odin: Hey, isn't that one of my Valkyries?
Brahms: Oh shut up……
Surt: Bah! You Cranky hostage-taker! That girl must be one of your hostages!
Brahms: (pouting) …..I don't stoop to Odin's level…
Odin: HEY!!
Brahms: What would I get by taking people hostage? That's useless.
Odin: Yer dang cranky………mean old dead-guy!
-Then he backs away to do more side comments on the interior decorating-
Odin: (getting really annoyed right now) Huh, yeah right….fancy decorations…blah blah blah….you even got one of my valkyries as a light bulb. So who's the interior decorator? Your mom? Ahahaha!!!!
Odin was acting just like a retarded spoiled brat, and that REALLY pissed-off Brahms…not to mention Surt who was listening. Since Brahms was rather like a peace-loving dude, he'd rather NOT pay attention to a pesky god's insults. Instead of smacking his adversary down, he picked up his luggage then exited the room and leaving the other guys behind. Although Surt understood what this meant and how Brahms must be really pissed off……actually, Surt likes Brahms better than Odin….cause a least Brahms never acted like some god of epileptic bastards.
Surt: Hey! Wait for us! God dammit, Odin! Now he's cranky again!
Odin: Sheesh, man. All I ever did was tell him that his sense of design was horrible….and bad-mouth everything else……uh…my bad….
Hence forth, they braved the path going to the airport where they awaited their upcoming flight. Down at the waiting area, they take their seats together with the other passengers. Five minutes later, 4 men in sassy black suits appeared and started announcing:
"Citizens! We are from the Mad Raccoon Travel and Tour Co.! All those who were invited to a vacation, please stand up and follow us….the plane awaits you…!"
Immediately, most of the passengers stood and followed the men in black…..
Surt: Psst! Odin! Let's go!...Get up you lazy god of slackers!!
Odin: (who was fiddling with a slinky) Alright, alright….sheesh….
Brahms already went ahead of them, so Surt was forced to grab Odin by the collar and drag'em to the plane whilst he still played with the slinky. Once inside the lane, Surt dropped Odin on the floor and hopped unto a seat next to Brahms, who was by the window and covered with a dark blanket. Apparently, he had already fallen asleep. Soon after that, the trip rocked on….for 10 hours straight. Oh, was the ride a bit rough….despite the turbulence, the pesky little brats that squabbled at the front and back seat, and Odin almost throwing up; the trio pretty much managed to fall asleep. Although Surt couldn't be any more awake from drinking too much cappuccino on the way. A few more hours and they'll be on solid ground……Much to his dislikes, Surt found Odin drooling an ocean all over his arm. He got so irritated, much less disgusted, that he shoved him away quickly…and woke him up.
Odin: Huh?... wipes away drool from his mouth What'd I do?!
Surt: You were drooling on my arm, you wretch!
Odin: Oh, yawn no biggie. You're welcome…. yawn Now lemme go back to sleep….. yawn …
Surt: Oh no, you're not doing THAT again!!
Thinking that he was gonna do it again (the drool part), Surt thought quickly and made an escape plan to go to some place where that wretch wouldn't drool on him again. Odin asked him where he was going but Surt, noticing a kid go into the bathroom, made a quick excuse to go to the bathroom as well.
Three hours were left remaining for the trip, but they just wasted it away on sleeping and fiddling with an i-pod………and occasionally, snoring out loud……
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A/N: Yes…I know it gets boring in some parts, but please bear with me. I'm sometimes off on a boring start…..I'll try to liven it up. It's better in the other chapters though. And I'll try to add more lengthy paragraphs...