It was another chilly night. One of those where he found himself having an armful of sleeping magician. It wasn't – isn't bad. Just... weird
He smiled
It's like a dream come true. He had always wanted to hold someone close like this - Kaito, to be completely honest, is the one. And, look, he's right here… He'd promised not to be selfish, not to make a move or anything and wait for this small little crush to dissipate like it had never been there but it's been 2 years.
And loving someone for two years, he found himself trying not to believe in it. Has it been that long ?
Waiting…
That's all he had done during those two long years…
Waiting. Silently, devotedly, exasperately… Waiting… Waiting for his heart to stop beating for just one person, for that person whose heart belonged to someone else just as equally.
Waiting. Desperately, hopefully, wishfully… Waiting… Waiting for something to get his head off that said person, for that something that matters much more. A reason to give up
Maybe in a universe where "Conan" doesn't happen, he'd have confessed by now.
Because he was an idiot mystery otaku with an ego that rivals the Effiel Tower and a confidence that is clearly shown in the way he held himself. But before was the past and now. Now is a different story entirely.
Now he's not just Kudo Shinichi but also Edogawa Conan… And he never felt like he should change any of it. Not even if he had the chance to go back to that day at Tropical Land. Because that's where his world took a great turn back into the cruel reality. Life isn't always rainbows and unicorns, it carries pain, lost, suffering. It's real, in many ways. Sometimes, we just have to make sacrifices... And those years living as a small boy gave Shinichi a different view of the world has taught him just that, maybe it's not all good things alone, but they were precious, and he had learnt to cherish every single joyjous moment when they finally took down the Black Org.
And, most importantly, it was as "Conan" that he met Kaito. In a more specific way, he met KID first. Well, fated meetings have to started somewhere, after all…
Really, he hadn't thought that one day, he'd understand Ran's patience. She waited for him 2 years and finally gave up. He felt betrayed at the time – How could she give up when he's still right here, alive and well… but now, after experiencing that same period of time just simply….Waiting, he'd understood. Two years, a lot could change. It is a long time. Long enough to deem over things. Long enough to make up one's mind of letting go their beloved someone. Long enough to kill.
And Ran – Ran deserves better than Shinichi.
And maybe, so does Kaito – He understood….and took a step back.
I know I'm not making any sense up there... :| Forgive me