Disclaimer: I'm not a member of the usual suspects: SyFy, Showcase and Prodigy Pictures. They be the peeps that own the characters that appear in this story.
A/N: Read the summary? Then there's nothing more for me to add except read 'Tina-Not-Fae' first if you haven't and then enjoy this dose of madcap fun.
~~~~~~~Dancing With The Fae~~~~~~~
Some people are born with a rhythm that would rival the finest metronome. While for other people such a thing as 'timing' will forever elude them, but that doesn't mean they can't keep trying. And it just so happens that in a run-down neighborhood in an old building two people are working on finding the best ways to shake what nature gave them. In this particular dance session one of them had made more than a few miss-steps, some collisions with the sofa, then four run-ins with the pillar in the living room and finally some random hard knocks into the make-shift kitchen island when she really let loose.
Despite the hits and the broken picture frames though, a certain Valkyrie's efforts had only yielded a few still forming bruises instead of a dampened spirit. In fact one could say she was channeling her inner Maria because of the way Tamsin moved about the room screamed: 'Yes! The hills are in fact alive with the sound of music!' But in this setting you could've said the cockroach hybrids were all a twitter with not being stomped to death. The only other witness/enabler to this display was a young woman who liked to think of herself as 'une petit hustler'. Kenzi watched from the safe distance of the open, bare entrance hallway of the shag-shack.
"Tamsin what the hell kinda move is that? This isn't Beginning Ballroom one-oh-shit-balls-one." Kenzi said as she played with the zipper on the thigh of her pants. "And those moves look about as tired as my Russian grandma. Dude, you actually move like her too."
The Valkyrie ceased all movement and glared at her height impaired friend. The tight grey tank top Tamsin was wearing showed some of her exertion in the form of a small 'V' front and center. Boob sweat-gotta love it.
"Well, would ya look at that?" Tamsin said with a tilt of her head as she pulled out her super bitch pose, along with some gestures to indicate invisible items in her hands. "The mailman just delivered two letters and they're addressed to, F and U."
Kenzi laughs on the inside because the Valkyrie has got a mouth on her. But she doesn't laugh on the outside because no one has got more verbal ninja skills than Kenzi, even though she periodically refers to herself as 'moi' like a certain puppet pig.
"I mean seriously what have I told you at least hundred times in regards to how you shake that baby maker of yours huh?" Kenzi said. "Less hooch, more tooch."
Tamsin nodded, smiled and did a rather bow-legged turn and then squatted down and placed her hands on her thighs and started doing thrusts that looked extremely violent and far, far, very far away from sexy or even luke-warm sensual. Kenzi could barely keep from laughing, so she put her hand over her mouth and tried valiantly to hold it in for a while. The Valkyrie's carefree expression on her face almost made it impossible for Kenzi not to bust on her. The key word being almost because if there is one thing you can count on your friends to do is to give you a little good natured 'shit' here and there.
"Alright Tam-Tam just stop please." Kenzi says with wide eyes because the thrusting kept getting worse. "Because you look like you're trying to shit out a baby, dude."
Tamsin stopped and with a slight frown shrugged it off. But within a few seconds the booming bass beats called to her and then she went on to perform her invisible twangy guitar hand moves, coupled with hip gyrations that would have made nursing home era Elvis proud.
"I don't think anybody is ready for your brand of jelly." Kenzi said in absolute awe for the sheer ridiculousness of her friend.
"Oh my God, you're funny." Tamsin said with a huff while she gave up dancing for a few minutes at least. "Remind me which one were you; Kelly or Michelle cause you ain't Beyonce that's for damn sure."
The tiny woman with quick hands and a penchant for stealing thongs stares at her friend. Kenzi is thoroughly impressed with the Valkyrie's comeback, but she wouldn't let her have the last word even at the cost of breaking the heel of her favorite boots.
"Huh, well I'll let you just get back to what you call 'dancing' Fae Jessica Simpson." Kenzi said. "And remember that stuff in a can is not actual chicken even if the label says it is."
"I may be a blonde bitch but I'm not a dumb, blonde bitch."
"You said it not me."
Tamsin rolled her eyes and the song thumping out from the speakers rigged up to Kenzi's laptop changed to a song about what else-big booty.
"That's my jam!" Tamsin shouted with a gleeful grin.
In less than four beats of the first verse of the song the Valkyrie looked as though she were channeling Jennifer Beals in 'Flash dance', only the bad and unsexy version where her dancing looked like full body dry heaves. Kenzi felt her mouth falling open at the sight of this Fae dance machine she had nurtured to adulthood after being rescued from the bush. However, Kenzi could only stand to watch Tamsin's painful looking moves for less than a minute.
"Okay, it's time to slow your rolls there Pillsbury." Kenzi said after she walked over to her laptop and then changed the tunes to something more refined-like Billy Idol's 'Dancing With Myself'. "Even though I know you're still high on your vegetable enema dance-off challenge."
Those words prompted Tamsin then to not so fondly recall the Dark Ceilidh party that she and Kenzi danced at a few days ago. At the time Tamsin was too young to really be embarrassed by her lack of booty-shakin' skills, but even as time wore on and Tamsin matured a little more she decided that there was no shame in her game.
"The only reason I won the dance-off if you remember correctly was because I got nasty with the other chick and I don't mean in a 'Miss. Jackson' way." Tamsin said. "But now that I've grown more emotionally I'm passed being embarrassed about how I danced in front of The Morrigan."
"I wouldn't give a shitty-shit what the 'evil muse' thought if I were you." Kenzi said and then her stomach started to do its own brand of dancing; if she ignored it, it would soon start 'singing' for its supper. "But honestly and I mean this as your compadre-you kinda sucked."
Tamsin didn't even flinch at Kenzi's wee mildly harsh truth. And as 'Dancing With Myself' continued to play on at a lower volume Tamsin found herself being drawn to its rhythm, but instead of being spastic she slowly swayed to the music even though the song isn't remotely soothing.
"I know my skills were lacking but that chick learned not to mess with a Valkyrie." Tamsin said as she tried to execute a ballet type of move that was actually borderline graceful, that is until her ass hit the back of the sofa again.
"Dude, that Fae chick break danced on her head without breaking her neck." Kenzi said. "She was really gettin crunk with it."
The Valkyrie frowns at the sofa for being in her way, before she pivots away from it none too gracefully.
"I could do that too if I wanted." Tamsin said even though her 'paleness' doesn't really lend itself to getting down. Plus it's nothing to be ashamed about especially when you're pretty much a Nordic goddess.
"Honey, you still can't twerk right and you're too..." Kenzi said while she pursed her lips and looked the tall, lean woman up and down. "You're too old skool Fae and I don't think anybody could handle you tryin' to get crunk."
Tamsin glared at Kenzi in a way that suggested violence would ensue, but the Valkyrie thought entirely too much of her human friend for her to ever really do such a thing. Kenzi finally opted to abandon dancing in favor of raiding the stolen appliance that she and Bo use for a refrigerator. Kenzi stomach had started doing its rumbling rendition of 'Working At The Carwash'.
"Hey, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo why are you so fixated on dancing?" Kenzi asked while she tore the lid off of the last tub of the Piles O' Pecans.
Tamsin wasn't paying attention to her though because once Kenzi had turned her focus towards the pursuit of food, Tamsin chose to grab the target practice torso and then dance with it across the floor while Mr. Idol's song continued to play. The Valkyrie cradled the headless and legless form to her chest while she twirled it around as though it were her beloved. Meanwhile, spoon in hand; when Kenzi turned back around the fudgy-nut goodness in her mouth almost choked her.
"Oh my God!" Kenzi exclaimed around a mouthful of Piles O' Pecans.
Tamsin was pressed into the torso and her hands were wrapped firmly around its waist. If Kenzi were a nun with a ruler she would've had to slap the Valkyrie's wrists for 'getting fresh.' Instead she swallows the ice cream tosses the spoon in the sink bin and then put the top back on the Piles O' Pecans before stuffing back into the not quite a refrigerator. Possibly two more spoonful's of ice cream was left and she decided to leave those for Bo because Kenzi was generous and thoughtful like that. Tamsin only stopped dancing with the torso when the song ended, but she wasn't willing to leave her dance partner unsatisfied. So she dipped the female torso before putting it back at the entrance of the Kenzi-cave.
"You didn't see that." The Valkyrie said while she walked towards the make-shift kitchen. No shame at all.
"Yeah, you need all the help you can get and since I'm tapped on moves." Kenzi said even though in her mind she was still processing that she saw Tamsin cutting a romantic rug with that thing her and Bo throw knives at. "So how about we go and check out the kids; you know see how they're gettin' down these days?"
Tamsin smiled and giddily followed in step behind Kenzi. The thief and the Valkyrie retired to their shared bedroom to clean up, dress up and then hit the town upside the head-forget about painting the bitch red.
The air was cold enough to see your breath. But that wasn't enough of a deterrent for Tamsin not to wear her red silk shirt with the obscenely plunging V-neck; if you could call it that. Everyone with eyes was able to see the black lacy bra she chose to wear for the evening. Kenzi was only slightly more practical. She opted to represent her style in all her usual flair and cleavage was optioned, along with her red jeans that fit like a second skin and her red skull emblazoned corset that made her waist look even more unbelievable. The Kenzi brand wasn't complete without her boots and tonight she wore the kicks that made her envious of herself. So the thief and the Valkyrie swaggered and strutted down the street as if they were walking in slow motion in a passable music video.
"Yo, yo, why we go here?" Kenzi asked as she craned her neck to look up at the unassuming backdoor of what she hoped was a dance club of some kind. There was a rather buff fellow standing guard.
"Because this," Tamsin replied with the flair of a 'The Price is Right' showcase model. "My non-green little Yoda is a bitchin' place to shake your tail feathers and its Fae friendly amongst other things."
After the Valkyrie flashed her charm to the dude at the door who was Gamma Ray huge like Bruce. Tamsin and Kenzi made their grand entrance through some poker game and Kenzi thought she recognized Pit-Stains twin brother but he didn't have a brother, so the man was just another dude with the same problem that no deodorant could get the jump on. Eventually after going past another roid-type guy and the door he was set to watch over the Valkyrie and the thief walked down a poorly lit hallway that led them past the bathrooms until they were 'in da club' as the saying goes. The music hit them all at once and Tamsin's face lit up until she looked like a nympho in a brothel; let's face it she's too grown to be compared to a kid in a candy store.
"The women are hot here tonight." Tamsin said while leaning down so Kenzi could hear her over the music.
Kenzi's eyes widened marginally due to Tamsin's glibness which only made the Valkyrie chuckle. When Tamsin said it was Fae friendly she wasn't kidding, because it's common knowledge that pretty much all of the Fae are not hung up on sexual preferences. They mostly just turned their noses up at 'shucking'.
"That's right, I swing on pretty much all the swings on the playground." Tamsin added with a naughty smirk. "I'm equal opportunity."
"Okay, so you and Bo are alike in the respect that you both be likin' wangs and da ladies boxes?"
"Kind of." Tamsin replied. "Hydra's used to be my thing and those boys are equipped with a lot of wang; nine heads if you know what I'm talkin' about."
"Scary." Kenzi replied and her face contorted enough to suggest she had thrown up in her mouth. "But were here to dance Tamsin, not hook-up, so let's break even money."
"Hell yeah!" Tamsin said before she grabbed Kenzi by the hand and essentially dragged her along towards the dancefloor. "And let's shake something and see what falls out."
The D.J. didn't suck to hard and his song selections flowed like gravy on a gravy train with biscuit wheels. Lots of pummeling thumps virtually made impossible for so many sweaty bodies not to rub up against each other. Kenzi brought her smooth game and she tempted so many boys in the yard with her milkshake. Tamsin tried it too, only it frightened all the boys and the girls.
"If your girls were bigger they would've fallen out by now." Kenzi said as Tamsin jumped up and down in front of her before turning around to do a decently indecent grind into her front. "And don't do that again, Tammi."
The Valkyrie turned around while she rolled her eyes at her much shorter friend. Tamsin then proceeded to do wild arm movements that without a doubt would've made her breasts pop out in the open since her top is on the down low, but nature did not make her well-endowed enough for that to happen. Kenzi smirked at Tamsin's back because she never expected her Fae friend to be such a goof-ball; not after first meeting her in her previous life and seeing how acerbic, caustic and sarcastic she was. In the reborn Valkyrie's mind though she sees no point in inhibitions, and since this is her last life she's going to make every minute count even if it's embarrassing to others.
The lights flashed and flickered in shades that oscillated from a simple red or green to a more daring azure or magenta. The pulsating light was almost enough to cause a seizure. Meanwhile, the Valkyrie and the panty-thief were dedicated to the notion of movement by the thumping beats of over produced house music that only passes for 'good' when its turned up really loud. Kenzi had her hot little mama hustle moves down, while Tamsin moved in a awkward fashions and made strange expressions with her mouth every time she took a step. The Valkyrie's movements were not in time with the music, and after a while a few people close by stopped dancing completely to watch the tall blonde woman.
Some of those curious people were beginning to think that Tamsin was on the verge of a seizure. Or that she may be one of those people where the lights are on but nobody's home, or she was just really fucking drunk and high. Kenzi had been trying to maintain a respectable distance from her friend, but since she noticed the spectacle forming around Tamsin she decided to shake her booty over a little closer. No toes where stepped on but a fairly attractive gentleman who was admiring the small hottie did get swallowed up by the masses of writhing bodies that had too much alcohol, and at this point they couldn't give a shit about one cray-cray blonde dancer, even if she too was a four alarm hottie.
"Dude, you really need to stop doing the whole dusting off your shoulders thing." Kenzi said calmly even though she was close to losing her shit and laughing at her Fae friend. "That's only a move executed by and for douche-bags and I sure as shit didn't teach it to you."
"Mind your business." Tamsin said before attempting to shimmy up and down like a pole-dancer, minus the pole.
"God, that's worse!" Kenzi said. "If you came here to hook up tonight then I'm afraid you're going to come home empty-handed cause your bait sucks."
Tamsin ignored her friend because this is the most fun she's had in any of her previous lives. And she most definitely had started to remember all of her random hook-ups that were supposed to be fun but they were just quick, dirty, one and done. The Valkyrie starts 'dancing' backwards while performing flapping gestures with her arms until she collided with Kenzi's ass on purpose. The thief thankfully didn't lose her balance and fall, but she did swing around to catch the next batch of Tamsin's killer moves.
"Stop trying to punch you knees!" Kenzi said as she bumped Tamsin on the hips with her ass. "Where are you getting all those crap moves Footloose?"
"Quick do your sparkle magic thing!" Tamsin shouted over the booty-shaking tunes as she bumped her small dance partner back.
"Qu`est-ce que the hell?" Kenzi said since she was damn near knocked on her ass this time. Never mind that she doesn't use her fake Fae-believe powers anymore.
"What? I do remember your little bathroom floor show back when I was three feet tall." Tamsin said in a breathy voice because all of her 'moves' have technically been the equivalent of weird and spastic exercise. "It was cool and this crowd is mostly Fae; you won't freak anyone out."
The petite hustler shrugs her shoulders and then activates her borrowed magic from a pixy's nutsack. Kenzi has tried not to dwell on the thought of where her 'fireworks' come from when she spreads it on her skin. The thief wiggled her fingers until it looked like a wavy rainbow was being painted in the air. She then pivoted on her boots tall heels and spun until the rainbow looked like it was wrapping her. The assembled crowd was suitably awed and a little amused by the cray-cray duo of the Valkyrie and the Pixy who is not really Fae.
To finish off her performance Kenzi dipped to the floor and then sprung up with more sparkle magic coming out of her boots this time. Kenzi smiled as though she's was waiting for applause but the crowd was silent and the once endlessly loud music had stopped. Kenzi and Tamsin looked around as the crowd seemed to drift further away from them. The two friends backed up to each other until they were back to back and watched the stilled crowd. As they slowly scanned the cluster of peeps it began to part for a distinctly feminine figure; who was lit up from behind by swirling lights.
"Oh balls, one assfart twelve o' clock high." Kenzi said loud enough for The Morrigan to hear and she did.
"Are you two really still at it?" Evony said as she drew closer to the unlikely duo. "Watching you two at that pathetic dance-off to the death made me almost bleed at the eyes and now you're out in public doing it again?"
Tamsin chuckled, "Yep, we're still getting down with hoes."
Kenzi elbowed Tamsin in the side. The little reunion though between the fabulousness of evil was broken up by several loud whooping hollers and a great many hoots from across the room. The club Tamsin chose had a mechanical bull which was quite popular every single night. Nobody really rode it hardcore cowboy style; most goofed off. And of course random hot chicks would hop on and pretend like it was some big hanging man that needed to be rode hard.
"He better not be doing what I think he's doing." Evony said with a frown; totally disregarding her original intents to mock and possibly maim.
Kenzi and Tamsin watched the tall, slim, evil hottie in the little black dress stalk towards that part of the club they hadn't hit up yet. Tamsin wondered for a second if she could've talked Kenzi into riding the bull, because that was her next move after she got her fill of dancing.
"Oh man, I gotta see who's got her thong buried in her rectum." Tamsin said and then grabbed Kenzi by the arm again.
"Eww, gross!" Kenzi said loud enough for Tamsin to hear. "I so didn't need that visual, like ever!"
The Valkyrie sort of dragged a half-reluctant thief towards the ring ahead. The crowd around it was pretty thick but they quickly noticed an open area around The Morrigan for obvious reasons; nobody was stupid enough to invade that woman's personal space. Kenzi shook off Tamsin's loose grip and went to go stand near Evony.
"So what's up?" Kenzi said. "Some under-Fae crept up in here; you know your long lost mother or something?"
The Morrigan smirked but didn't acknowledge Bo's human pet. Truthfully, she found the small human amusing, feisty and she appreciated her attempts at fashion sense. But those are not things that Evony would ever allow to be voiced outside the realm of her thoughts.
"How sweet of you to want to meet my mother." Evony said and then the lights around the bull ring dimmed. "But that won't be happening tonight or any other night on the known calendar." Kenzi frowned because The Morrigan has got 'language skills' too. "Honestly, I don't know why I'm still here but I'm going to blame it on some lingering impulses from my red-neck phase."
Just as Kenzi was about to say something snarky to The Morrigan because this is a public place and Kenzi thought she could get away with it here, Tamsin made her presence known by asking Kenzi if she would ride the bull after whoever was next was done. Before Kenzi could firmly say 'maybe' the lights came up and the person perched on the bull threw their arm up to signal the guy at the controls that they were ready for the ride to start. The person sitting on the bull was wearing a see-thru mesh top, tight black leather pants and a pair of tall black heels that Kenzi wouldn't have hesitated to call chouette. But the shock factor really came into play when Kenzi's brain registered that it was Vex sitting on the mechanical bull.
The last Mesmer was scanning the crowd to see who's attention he had and he was pleasantly trilled it was a particular group of ladies that seemed to be struck by him. He smiled at Evony, Tamsin and Kenzi when the bull started to slowly move with the music. Vex chose two popular songs from the nineties that made him smile whenever he heard them, and by God he had a smile three miles wide right now. This was going to be so good because he was determined to make it so since he had such a fun audience. As the chorus finally hit Vex locked his high heels onto the side of the bull and used his strong thigh muscles to rise a up a bit and clench the sides of the bull, while he leaned backwards.
Overhead mood lighting lit up every one of Vex's borrowed moves that were being executed thus far to perfection. The mechanical swiveled suggestively to the song and Kenzi caught the side view of the last Mesmer's show.
"Awww, ewww an oversized cod-piece?" Kenzi said with a grimace that wasn't even close to fake. "Uh Vexy, say it ain't so."
Kenzi could hardly believe her eyes and she would tell no one that she's watched 'Urban Cowboy' more than once. Or that so far Vex had gotten the Sissy moves down ice cold chill.
"If he arches his back one more time people will have no choice but to accept that the fake bull has a fake dick mounted to the saddle and that Vex is enjoying the ride." Evony said while Kenzi and Tamsin choked on the air afterwards. "I don't know why he has to make such a spectacle of himself. Being dark doesn't mean you have to act like a douche."
"Vex-meister likes balls too?" Kenzi found herself asking while Vex shifted positions to mimic Sissy standing up on the bull while it rocked back and forth.
"Duh!" Tamsin and Evony said at the same time.
"Should've known that." Kenzi said. "Being the king of mascara and killer lashes is kind of a big loud 'HELLO'!"
The club's music was loud but not as loud as some others; it may be policy that some shittier songs sound better when their somewhat distorted. The bull ring had its own sound system though and after the last beating bars of the raunchy hip-hop song faded another song slammed home a sleazy beat. Kenzi didn't recognize the second song right away until the lines 'Someone who knows how to ride without falling off' was crooned out by the smooth operator's voice. While the line: 'Juice flowing down your thigh' has always grossed her out but it's also unfortunately unforgettable.
"Jesus Fae!" Kenzi said as her eyes tried to not take it the entire sight on proud display. "First, 'Freek'n You and now 'Pony'. God, I wish I could say I was a little drunk right now."
Vex was determined to make it last a hell of a lot longer than eight seconds; more like five minutes. And it will last until the final note of the dirty R & B song because he bribed the man who controlled the bull. Vex deftly switched positions from regular cowgirl taking it all in deep to reverse cowgirl as the bull gently rocks back and forth. While in the reverse position he ground down on the saddle until his ass was pressed up against the grippy horn thing.
"I almost don't want to watch this." Tamsin said. "But it's like a car wreck-train wreck and sex in public all rolled into one. I can't look away."
Vex made an orgasmic face and then quickly turned around until he faced the horny grip and then he brought his knees up and gyrated up and down regular cowgirl style.
"I'm too young to see this." Kenzi said with a rather horrified expression on her undeniably cute face.
Evony let out a bored sigh, "He's too old to be goth and he's too to be doing that shit."
The Morrigan was thoroughly amused though, but as she looked more closely at Vex she was almost convinced that he was wearing a pair of her heels.
"Go daddy go!" Vex's friend Choga shouted from off to the side. The last Mesmer licked his right arm pit before hopping on the mechanical bull but that had no effect on how Vex chose to act out his plan.
Kenzi and Tamsin watched Vex's antics for another thirty seconds until he started mouthing the words: 'If you're horny let's do it, ride it, my pony.' After that wicked lip sync along with some more suggestive dry humping on the slow rocking bull, the thief and the Valkyrie both decided to call it quits. On a personal note Kenzi felt like she had honored the agreement she made with Tamsin at the veteran's hospital, because Tamsin never specified that she would have to become the best dancer on the planet. And Kenzi has always known that there was very little hope for improving T-sin's skills; the Valkyrie has got her own style and it's deeply ingrained.
The 'Pony' song finally ended as did Vex's public display of male eroticism. He was beyond pleased with himself and after dismounting the bull, Vex slapped hands with the more enthusiastic members of his audience. It's too bad that Kenzi and Tamsin scampered off because he had more moves to shock them with. But Evony on the other hand looked bored; only the faintest hint of a smirk made her lips turn up on one corner. Vex saw this and decided to make his way over to the leader of the Dark. On another even more personal note, it could be said that if that mechanical bull were alive it would need a cigarette and a clean-up on aisle three later.
"Did that get you hot love?" Vex asked with a lecherous smirk. "If not then I can do it again and again until your old box gets warmed up."
The Morrigan eyeballs Vex in a way that would make most people's bowels loosen a little but not the last Mesmer, and besides the Morrigan can't very well suck the talent out of someone who doesn't have any.
"Stick to balls and blow jobs Vex." Evony said. "Boxes and tits aren't something you have a good handle on or will ever have control over."
"I don't know about that love." Vex said while he leaned over on the edge of the ring. "I seem to recall how good I was quite skilled at getting you to dance around in your underwear. And then there was that one time when we were alone together; you know just you and me and my Taser."
"Don't think I've forgotten you took my original eye, bitch."
"Oh, that old thing." Vex said to Evony as if he was talking about some of her old out of season heels he borrowed. "Don't be so sensitive love it doesn't suit you."
The Morrigan smirked at Vex before she turned and started walking away from the ring where Vex performed his very own Urban Fae ride. The last Mesmer chuckled and decided on the spot to have a bit more fun with his favorite ball busting boss. Walking on the padded mat in four inch heels proved to be a task but Vex managed, and once he cleared the crowd that positively enjoyed his little show he finally caught up with Evony. A silence between the two Dark Fae ensued for only a few seconds.
"Those had better not be my heels that you're wearing." Evony threatened before coming to a halt.
Vex didn't even try to hide his smile even in the face of the withering look that Evony gave him. Most people would've dribbled a bit of pee at said look but not Vex; he doesn't have the sense he was born with, it was very small sum to begin with.
"That they are my dear Evony." Vex said while he took the Morrigan's arm, and she of course was ready to stage a revolt but his Mesmer abilities wouldn't allow it. So the pair walked through the club together. "And I must say I wore them for one sole purpose and thus far I've not gotten the results I wanted."
The Morrigan was loathe to admit that as one of her Dark subjects Vex was the most fun while being the most aggravating. Still, it's always worthwhile to have a passable sparring partner every so often to stave off boredom.
"And what pray tell were the results that you wanted?" Evony asked.
"To get laid." Vex replied with a smirk. "You would think your 'get fucked' stilettos would've rendered someone unto me by now."
Evony actually chuckled because she couldn't keep from it. Meanwhile, the assembled masses kept a close watch on 'the evil Hall & Oates' as they strolled out of the club arm and arm. Never mind that Vex was making Evony do it, and never mind that once he stopped using his Mesmer she might actually tear his balls off to see if they could be grown back so she could do it again.
~~~END~~~
Soundtrack: "All I Do Is Win" by DJ Khaled, "Booty" by J-Lo & Pit Bull, "Filthy Gorgeous" by Scissor Sisters
Last Words: I have no actual words to describe how much fun I had while I was 'writing the dang thang'. So I hope it made you laugh and if not just remember that this story was/is free.