-
-
MG: Companion fic to Goodbyes are Long, however it stands alone by itself. Dedicated to the first snow of the year.
Warnings: Kurama is a manipulative bastard? Is that a warning? I think thats mandatory for all my Kurama fics n..n Uhh, its an AU and theres some swearing aaaaand um boyxboy stuff. Hurr.
Im thinking about making a series of short fics like this, all set in the same general… dimension. Cause there isn't nearly enough of this pairing out there. Ive already read everything on and am in the process of scouring livejournal. It makes me kind of sad…
-
-
hide and seek
-
-
[ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit
oh no, you don't care a bit
oh no, you don't care a bit]
-
-
Time passed quickly. Autumn made the air sharp and dry, and the smell of smoke in the distance seemed to make everything more alive. Yomi walked down the sidewalk, listening absently to the leaves as they broke beneath his feet. The holidays were approaching and people were too preoccupied with lights and yard work and the like to notice him as he passed. At any other time of the year he'd be more apprehensive about it, he had a rather unpleasant reputation of being not only a delinquent, but of enjoying the company of other boys. For one reason or another, that offended people.
Despite being underage, Kurama had his own flat. He lived alone, if Yomi being there almost everyday didn't count. And, despite the fact that they fought often, they had become something like a husband and wife. Though, which was the woman was anyone's guess. He arrived at the house, took one look through the window, and scowled. The lights were all out, and upon further inspection the door was revealed to be locked. He had a key, but wasn't particularly interested in sitting in the cold house alone, wondering when the foxish boy was going to return. If even.
Kurama had taken to disappearing as of late. He would just wander off somewhere, usually on foot, without a cell phone or wallet or any money. Just up and leave. At first he had ended up in places like the library, or some small café, but in recent months he'd wandered farther and farther away. Yomi knew a few places off the top of his head, but he couldn't help sighing and wondering with irritation what the hell was wrong with the other.
He dropped his bag behind a shrub next to the door and turned back the way he'd come, shoving his hands into his pockets and shivering. He counted the cracks for awhile, but soon grew bored of that. He looked at the trees and the grayish sky. He smelled the air and listened to the steady rhythm of his feet hitting the pavement. He tried to find beauty in these things, tried to admire them, find them fascinating in their simple intrinsic qualities… but could not. It was all a great boring mess of ugly colors to him. The cold was annoying and he was angry. Kurama always found everything beautiful. You could point out to him an abandoned lot filled with garbage and dead trees, and he could find a million things about it that were just perfect. Yomi hated him for it. He admired him for it, it was something he himself could never do. And sometimes he wondered what it would be like to see the world in such a way, but then, sometimes he also thought that Kurama was full of crap and it was all just a big lie.
He kicked at a pebble as he passed the public library. Didn't bother to go in, it had been at least four months since Kurama had deemed it a proper hiding place. He still went there often, but with forward notice, and generally a lot of poking and prodding about it. He believe that Yomi did not read enough, and felt it his personal duty to pick out the other boy a new book each week. Granted, Kurama had very good taste in books, and usually could find something that would interest even Yomi. Reading just wasn't… his thing.
He spent almost two hours wondering around town, stopping in at small stores, gas stations, the park. He spent most of that time walking through the park, looking up trees and, at one point, crawling through plastic tunnels and earning himself some decidedly unfriendly looks from overprotective mothers. Like he was going to do anything to their kids. Though, he admitted silently to himself, he must have made an odd sight, appearing suddenly by himself, passing by the small children with a determined stride and impassive face, crawling through a tunnel, and then walking away- he laughed at that, and didn't dare look back to see what kind of looks that had earned him.
He really was getting cold. He breathed out a long stream and watched his breath become fog and then fade. He wondered with a grumble then what anyone was doing outside this time of year. He was just about ready to go back to his own place, he had a whole long conversation (argument) planned out in his head for the next day, when something caught his eye. About a half mile down the road was a hill, one that in the winter people used as a sledding spot. At the very top grew a massive oak tree. Most of its leaves were dead by now, but it struck Yomi as a very Kurama-ish place to be.
When he got there he wasn't really surprised to find the other sitting desolately between two large roots with an unreadable look on his face. He'd actually gotten rather good at finding the other, and he had only almost gotten used to the strange moods Kurama would always be in.
"Hey." he said, looking down at the other with a halfhearted smile.
"Hey." Short. Agreeing. As though they were not in the position they were now in, but rather meeting one another at some great crossroad of life.
The smile left. "So what the fuck are you doing this time? Finding yourself?"
Kurama didn't answer, didn't look up, didn't give any indication that he'd even heard the brash words. It was hard to tell, however, Yomi thought that maybe, just maybe, the others eyes did darken a little. He sighed and sat down. Their arms brushed together and the rush of warmth was comforting, even through the unpleasantness of the whole situation.
"I don't see why you do this. I mean, you don't have a coat, the house is miles away, we have class tomorrow, it's fucking freezing… Kurama, are you even listening to me?"
"Mm, not really."
Of course not. Yomi really hated it when Kurama was like this. It was as though no matter what he did, it just didn't matter. He could announce an affair with Martha Stewart and get not so much as a glance. He picked up the others hand, noting with alarm that it was as cold as ice. He frowned and grabbed Kurama by the shoulder, roughly turning the careless boy's face to him. Kurama's cheek was just as cold, and paler than normal.
"Shit Kurama, you really are freezing. What the hell is wrong with you? What are you doing just sitting out here in the cold?" He pulled them up to a standing position and quickly removed his own coat, wrapping it around the other. As he did he noticed that Kurama was indeed shivering, and wondered how he hadn't noticed before. "Do I need to carry you?"
"I can walk."
They shared at quick exchange of looks, Yomi pissed and incredulous, Kurama… Kurama held his head high, and even though they were nearly the same height, he looked down at Yomi with dispassionate eyes and a thin stretched line of a mouth. It made Yomi uneasy. Not for the first time he wondered why he subjected himself to such treatment. He loved Kurama more than anything, but why did he have to love someone so unpredictable? Kurama had a seemingly unlimited capacity for kindness, when it came to strangers or people he didn't particularly care about. But for the few people close to him, he spared not a drop.
"Come on, we can catch the bus." As they walked down the hill the temperature dropped at least three degrees, and he held Kurama's hand firmly in his own. "I'm sorry." He imagined in his head that Kurama suddenly said this, voice soft and filled with genuine regret. He imagined that he faltered in his step and turned to the other. He imagined that they looked at each other for a moment before embracing, right there in the middle of the sidewalk, for several long moments. They both walked on, not looking at one another or speaking. This made him more sad than he might have thought it would.
When they got to the bus stop he switched to Kurama's other side so that he could hold onto that hand. It was dark, the daylight had left with a startling haste, and he noticed this now with some surprise. An oppressive lid of white had sealed the sky, and the streetlamps had yet to flicker into being. Then, before his mind could fully register it, tiny flecks of white were descending around them, muffling the city sounds and making everything somehow seem slower.
"Ah," Kurama held his face tilted upward, and his eyes gleamed with something which brought Yomi sudden relief.
"It's snowing? The weather didn't say anything about it."
"No," Kurama agreed, "but I knew it would snow today. I wanted to see it."
The bus arrived with a great amount of hissing, and when its doors opened the florescent light spilled out onto them, casting shadows far beyond the sidewalk. They climbed in, Yomi payed the fair, and they took a seat near the back. Very few patrons accompanied them, and the two teenage boys went unnoticed.
"Is that why you were out there? To see the snow?" Yomi asked after a few moments of silence.
The bus rocked gently from side to side, and the hissing was muffled to a low, comforting hum. Kurama looked over and surveyed the other from beneath his lashes. "Why did you come find me?"
"Yomi scowled. Again. Really, he thought, if he kept it up he'd have wrinkles by the age of thirty. "I was worried about you and with good reason. Really, what were you doing out there?"
"Worried…" Kurama's voice trailed off and he looked away. He appeared to be debating with himself the likelihood that Yomi had actually been concerned about his well being. "But, I'll bet the reason you really came, was boredom."
The dark haired boy was furious, he had saved Kurama from certain death, only to be repaid with doubt? But then he remembered, he had gone looking out of boredom, hadn't he?
"I don't know what's wrong with you, but if this is how your going to treat me after I came all the way out here to get you, gave you my coat, and paid for your sorry ass to ride in a warm vehicle all the way back home-"
Kurama said nothing. Didn't even look over.
Yomi had been betting on Kurama reacting. But Kurama knew it was just a pointless show of pride and wouldn't add fuel to the fire.
Yomi wanted to hurt him. Or stop the bus and make them get off, he wanted to do something to convey how absolutely pissed off he was. In all honesty, he wanted to see Kurama cry. He wanted something to prove the boy wasn't just some emotionless shadow that cared for no one and nothing.
"I'm sorry."
"You- …what?"
His voice was quiet, almost inaudible over the faint surrounding din. "Thank you. For finding me. I guess I was pretty cold."
He stared hard at the other for a few moments before sitting back with a huff. He noticed an old lady about halfway down, starring at them with round, bloodshot eyes. She appeared to have with her the contents of a small dumpster, and he realized that she reeked of it, too. He made a face in her direction. He guessed it was a mix of what-the-hell-are-you-looking-at, and you-smell-funny-please-stop-starring-at-me. She continued to stare and he looked away at the floor. He absently grabbed Kurama's hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth across the knuckles.
He wanted to say something. He was still mad, but he was also shocked, and frustrated. The fox had a way of completely turning the tables, while managing to come out looking like the rational and stable one. However, the bus stopped moving and he realized it was their turn to get off, saving him from saying anything too stupid.
They passed by the stinky creepy lady with no incident, though he could have sworn that Kurama was smiling behind him when he grimaced at the smell. How he'd not noticed it coming on he didn't know, but it was positively rank.
During the short ride to their street a fine dusting had covered every surface, except for the road which appeared as a black more stark in contrast to the snow than any other thing in nature. They stopped at the doorway, neither moving to go in.
"I guess I should go home."
"You should stay here."
"Right, that wouldn't get me in huge trouble or anything."
Kurama leaned forward and rested his forehead against Yomi's, letting their noses brush lightly together. "I want you to stay."
Yomi breathed in, not quite a gasp, but certainly a significant intake of air. It wasn't like they hadn't slept together before, but something about it now, perhaps the whole taboo of the situation (what with their fight which wasn't technically over), made it seem that much more appealing. "My parents-"
"Know that you're an irresponsible teenager, and expect you to do irresponsible things." Their lips brushed faintly together as Kurama spoke, and he reached up to lay his hands over Yomi's collarbone, fingers kneading into the other boy's shoulders.
Somehow Kurama had the door open at the same time, and he pulled them into the house and slid off his shoes while pulling the effectively speechless Yomi after him. He shut the door with his back, fully prepared for it when he was pushed up against the same door and all but smothered.