Disclaimer: Ryohgo Narita

Pairing: Shizuo Heiwajima ann Izaya Orihara

M-Rated

Grumpy Undertaker

Dead bodies.

Those are things that already become his best friend since forever. When there wasn't anybody out there who wanted to listen to his sad or happy stories, there he spent his whole boring day talked to any corpse that entered his little house. Well, not many people said it as a house, more like a shack. But no one could ask him to leave that shack. His brother tried hundred ways to make him quit this job but always failed at the end. It is true that the pay not as good as any other job and it is not an easy job either. But he loved it. His brother once said that being an undertaker must be surpassed his fetish on smoking. Well, that could be true either.

Sighing, the man with pale-blond-hair fixed his blue glasses and walked toward a unique coffin which sculptured nicely. "Why people spend a lot of money on this kind of thing? What a waste," said the man while touching the coffin carefully. "This is way more expensive than I expected. It is worthier than my poor pay. Maybe I should bring this to a coffin seller. Who knows I could live happily after I got the money."

BRUK

He jumped when a sudden noise came from the back of his house. He furrowed his brows when noiseless circle his house. "Who's there?" he asked and peeked outside. He stared at a bunch of old coffin that he arranged neatly before, but now those coffins are dropped off to and fro. Seems like someone run into them. "Show yourself! Don't make me do it, stranger!" he shouted and went outside. Anger spread on his face when he saw someone broke his precious hoe. "What the fuck did you do with my thing, flea?" He gritted his teeth when the other guy didn't answer his fucking question. How could he done his job without that fucking hoe. But he suddenly realized something, that guy's left foot … was bleeding. He came closer and asked, "Hey, you ok? Here, let me help you." He reached out his right hand to help that guy.

"Thanks," that guy muttered under his breath. He smiled sheepishly and cringed when he tried to stand. "It's hurt I can't help it," he laughed and sat his self on the ground again. "Sorry, I didn't mean it, really. I was kinda curious with this shack and—"

"It's a house to you." He cut him off and corrected that guy's previous words.

"No! It's totally a shack! How can you call it a house? House is not a proper word for this thing." That guy eyed his shack—house—carefully and clapped his hands. "Ah! It's some kind of a cote!"

TWITCH

"I'm not an animal you damn flea!" he shouted and hold his fist right in front of that guy face. "Go away; you just waste my time here. You mom probably is looking for you. That's the front door. You can leave with a good attitude or I'll kick your ass out of here!" He tried to hold his anger. If he weren't injured, He would punch that guy on the face.

"Izaya."

"Huh?"

"It's my name so you can call me nicely not with that stupid nick name you just made for me a while ago. What's with flea? That's not my name you moron." Izaya tried to stand again to be failed. He puffed his cheeks and stared at that blond.

"Well, it's Shizuo to you and I don't care about your stupid name or what, I just want you to leave this house that you called a cote before." Shizuo stepped inside but a hand on his hand stopped his act. "What now?"

Izaya found it amusing to annoyed Shizuo. "Shizu-chan, I'm hungry~" he smiled cutely at Shizuo who couldn't held back his anger anymore. He expected a punch or maybe a kick on his body but felt nothing touch him except, he still holding shizuo's hand. He peeked at Shizuo and tried to guess what kind of expression that Shizuo put on his face. Izaya knew than Shizuo looked handsome as a guy who lived in this kind of thing. "What?" Izaya asked when Shizuo only stared at him for a minute.

"That's my line, Flea. Why are holding my hand? And what's with that stupid Shizu-chan that just came out from your mouth? I don't know you and vice versa." Shizuo yanked his hand from Izaya grasp and went inside. "Just go away, I wanna sleep peacefully. And for your information, I don't have any food right now."

"Look who's talking! But I'm hungry! Feed me!"

"What are you? A five-year-old kid? Just buy on your way home! Beside, that's not my fucking business if you're hungry. I'm not your mother." Shizuo then closed his door harshly. He tried to close his eyes and forgets about anything that just happened. What a hard day, he thought. When he started sink in his sleep, a loud bang came from his precious door.

"AT LEAST TREAT MY WOUND YOU MORON! I CAN'T WALK!"

Shizuo hissed and scrambled his hair harshly. He walked to that door and opened it with a loud bang. "Fine, I'll treat your wound. But promise me that you'll leave me alone, oke?" Izaya only tilted his head cutely and walked pass Shizuo. "Sit there and wait for a second. Don't touch anything."

Izaya took back his hands when he wanted to touch a coffin with beautiful sculpture. He eyed the whole room and found nothing than coffins and a lot of gallon which filled with salt, he guessed. Izaya eyed that coffin again and smiled sadly. He tried to open it and found it empty. "No dead body," he said as he closed it again. He stood then sat himself on the top of that coffin. He stood up quickly when spotted Shizuo at the end of the room with a box of first aid kit. Shizuo put it in front of the sofa and opened it. He took a bottle of alcohol, a roll of bandage. "Put it here." Shizuo said as he poured the alcohol on cotton plant.

"Put what?"

"Your brain then I can crush it into pieces. Of course your wounded foot you moron. Hurry, I have to re-arrange the coffin because your stupid act before."

"Stop act like an undertaker!"

"I am an undertaker!"

"Heeee? Really? I thought you wer—ish! That's hurt Shizu-chan!"

"Call me Shizu-chan once again and I'll cut your foot, got it?" Izaya nodded his head and looked at the way Shizuo treated his wound. He did it in a soft way, Izaya stared at Shizuo and smiled again. "I'm hungry. You have to give me food. I lost a lot of blood and I need a recharge."

"It wasn't like you dropped from a cliff. It's just a small wound. Don't be a spoiled brat." Shizuo continued to treat Izaya nicely. He cleaned the wound with alcohol. After he thought it was enough, he then bandaged it nicely. "Done and now go."

"Hungry~~"

SMACK

Izaya hissed and rubbed his head where Shizuo just smacked him. "It's hurt and I'm hungry, I can't help it." He whined and pouted. Shizuo sighed and walked away from Izaya. A minute later he bought a plate of grapes and four pieces of bread. He then put it in front of Izaya. Izaya blinked his eyes and stared at Shizuo. "Can I eat them, Shizu-chan?"

"Yes, eat it up and leave me alone."

After a few minutes, "Thanks for the food!" Izaya felt so full and looked so happy. Well no wonder. When people hungry and got food to fill their tummy, that's the happiest thing ever. Izaya then smiled at Shizuo who eyed him suspiciously. "What do you want me to do after you gave me those food?"

"Die."

"Really? You want me to die? Only that?"

Shizuo stared strangely at Izaya and then nodded his head. "Jump from the cliff and die for me. That's a punishment for a person who robbed my food supply."

"Then I already granted your wish, Shizu-chan."

"What do you mean Flea?"

"You wanted me to die, right? Then I already did it."

"You mean you're dead?"

"Yes, that's right. That's my coffin, the one behind your back. They bought it for me a day ago. No, I'm not kidding now. I am seriously a dead body."

Shizuo opened his mouth with a shocked expression, "WHATTTT?"

To Be Continued

Helloooooo! Should I continue this story? Was it good or bad? Should I delete this story? Please tell me! Mind to tell me the correct grammar, oke? I'm not good at that thing, sorry (-/\-) btw you can follow me on twitter at KyugeeZ and we can be friend closer haha