Yep, here I am, trying to write another smegging piece of fic :) And duh, if you haven't figured out that I write slash -- where have you been the last few months? I thought my name was infamous by now? ;)
Anyway, I may keep it light, or it may get to NC-17. I'm posting as I go along, so when it starts getting a little 'higher' in rating (and temperature), I'll give you fair warning.
And no, if this isn't funny, it's because it's not supposed to (except for the occasional joke every now and then -- I love to make people laugh). These days, my emotions are much more serious than they used to be, and my fic has begun to reflect that. Please enjoy anyway!
I still haven't thought of a title, so feel free to suggest one and I'll see if I think it fits :) Here's a hint -- I have a nasty habit of naming fics after song titles or lyrics that I know well ;p
Okay, enough of this, on to the fic...
*****
Disclaimer: They don't now, nor have they ever belonged to me. As we all know by now, Lister and Rimmer belong to each other, the Cat belongs to his mirror, Kryten to his ironing board, and Kochanski to her beloved bottle of warm salad cream (we all know why she doesn't like it cold, eh!)
*****
The tiny vessel ripped through time and space, it's sole occupant still trying to regain his breath from the dreadful fright he'd had. Out of anger and frustration, he banged his hand against the computer console before him.
"Oooh, that's it baby, hit me again," the computer purred.
"Oh, will you shut the smeg up!" the man cried in exasperation.
"Just like that, Ace, talk dirty to me."
The man groaned, wishing for the millionth time that he hadn't decided to abandon the only life he'd ever known for that of a hero. Seeing universe after universe of Arnold Rimmers, some smarter than he, some more popular, most essentially more likeable... all it had succeeded in doing was making him feel more and more depressed.
He was just about ready to seek out another Rimmer to take his place just so he could put himself out of his misery.
His only consolation was that in each universe, there was a Lister, a Cat, and a Kryten that were somewhere doing better than the ones he'd known on 'his' Red Dwarf. He shook his head, thinking how chipper Lister would be at that thought. The man's optimism was unflappably irritating, and he would only be happy at the thought that somewhere in some universe he was fulfilling his every dream, every wish.
How he hated missing the man.
It was the perfect punishment for him after all. He'd caused the deaths of hundreds on Red Dwarf, he'd lived his entire life as a useless smeghead, and his eternal reward was to live the life of a hero, all the while remembering and longing for the company of that gimp from his past. The idea was immensely confusing to him. He and Lister had done nothing but fight for years, and yet something (other than his unfortunate demise, of course) had kept them from killing each other or otherwise destroying themselves. He didn't know what, but whatever it was, it was certainly lacking in the lonely life he was now leading.
A flirtatious voice pulled him from his reverie.
"Oooh, baby, there's something big ahead, and I'm not talking about little Ace."
Rimmer checked his console, then a second time, finally settling into a look of shock. It couldn't be. Had he truly found his way back to Starbug? Without a second thought, he opened a communications channel with the other ship.
His shock only increased when an all-too familiar, yet strikingly different face appeared on his viewscreen. "Kris? Is that you?" asked the dark-skinned man with the silvery 'H' on his forehead.
After taking a moment to remember how to breathe, Rimmer somehow found the brainpower to slip back into his 'Ace' persona. "Sorry, old squid, but it's just me, Ace Rimmer." He flashed one of Ace's patented smiles while inside he felt the hope that he'd found 'his' Lister dying.
To his amazement, the Lister before him matched his smile and even managed to turn it up a notch. For some reason, that scared him more than the time he'd faced a million frothing Gorgons to save the Princess of Leto.
"Rimmer? Is that you? I-I thought I'd never see you again, man! Krytie, open the doors and let him in already."
With a subconscious shiver, Rimmer turned his vessel toward Starbug so that he could dock with the vessel. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he wondered why he'd never gotten such a smile from 'his' Lister.
Anyway, I may keep it light, or it may get to NC-17. I'm posting as I go along, so when it starts getting a little 'higher' in rating (and temperature), I'll give you fair warning.
And no, if this isn't funny, it's because it's not supposed to (except for the occasional joke every now and then -- I love to make people laugh). These days, my emotions are much more serious than they used to be, and my fic has begun to reflect that. Please enjoy anyway!
I still haven't thought of a title, so feel free to suggest one and I'll see if I think it fits :) Here's a hint -- I have a nasty habit of naming fics after song titles or lyrics that I know well ;p
Okay, enough of this, on to the fic...
*****
Disclaimer: They don't now, nor have they ever belonged to me. As we all know by now, Lister and Rimmer belong to each other, the Cat belongs to his mirror, Kryten to his ironing board, and Kochanski to her beloved bottle of warm salad cream (we all know why she doesn't like it cold, eh!)
*****
The tiny vessel ripped through time and space, it's sole occupant still trying to regain his breath from the dreadful fright he'd had. Out of anger and frustration, he banged his hand against the computer console before him.
"Oooh, that's it baby, hit me again," the computer purred.
"Oh, will you shut the smeg up!" the man cried in exasperation.
"Just like that, Ace, talk dirty to me."
The man groaned, wishing for the millionth time that he hadn't decided to abandon the only life he'd ever known for that of a hero. Seeing universe after universe of Arnold Rimmers, some smarter than he, some more popular, most essentially more likeable... all it had succeeded in doing was making him feel more and more depressed.
He was just about ready to seek out another Rimmer to take his place just so he could put himself out of his misery.
His only consolation was that in each universe, there was a Lister, a Cat, and a Kryten that were somewhere doing better than the ones he'd known on 'his' Red Dwarf. He shook his head, thinking how chipper Lister would be at that thought. The man's optimism was unflappably irritating, and he would only be happy at the thought that somewhere in some universe he was fulfilling his every dream, every wish.
How he hated missing the man.
It was the perfect punishment for him after all. He'd caused the deaths of hundreds on Red Dwarf, he'd lived his entire life as a useless smeghead, and his eternal reward was to live the life of a hero, all the while remembering and longing for the company of that gimp from his past. The idea was immensely confusing to him. He and Lister had done nothing but fight for years, and yet something (other than his unfortunate demise, of course) had kept them from killing each other or otherwise destroying themselves. He didn't know what, but whatever it was, it was certainly lacking in the lonely life he was now leading.
A flirtatious voice pulled him from his reverie.
"Oooh, baby, there's something big ahead, and I'm not talking about little Ace."
Rimmer checked his console, then a second time, finally settling into a look of shock. It couldn't be. Had he truly found his way back to Starbug? Without a second thought, he opened a communications channel with the other ship.
His shock only increased when an all-too familiar, yet strikingly different face appeared on his viewscreen. "Kris? Is that you?" asked the dark-skinned man with the silvery 'H' on his forehead.
After taking a moment to remember how to breathe, Rimmer somehow found the brainpower to slip back into his 'Ace' persona. "Sorry, old squid, but it's just me, Ace Rimmer." He flashed one of Ace's patented smiles while inside he felt the hope that he'd found 'his' Lister dying.
To his amazement, the Lister before him matched his smile and even managed to turn it up a notch. For some reason, that scared him more than the time he'd faced a million frothing Gorgons to save the Princess of Leto.
"Rimmer? Is that you? I-I thought I'd never see you again, man! Krytie, open the doors and let him in already."
With a subconscious shiver, Rimmer turned his vessel toward Starbug so that he could dock with the vessel. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he wondered why he'd never gotten such a smile from 'his' Lister.