Mistake

I don't even remember when or how it started.

I don't remember when our bickering and punching first turned into something else, when our hate for each other first turned into lust and need. They say there's a very fine line between hating and wanting a person. So when our fighting first turned into sucking and grinding against each other, it was okay. It was okay, because we knew we were teenagers and we needed release.

No love involved. That was our rule number one. And that's why I didn't even try for finesse when I first entered you. I didn't try to make it feel good for you, only wishing to still that need inside me.

And you weren't tender either, biting and scratching me by every chance you got. Leaving red marks, that I would carefully touch in the mornings when I woke up to an empty bed. This was rule number two. You would always leave when we were finished. After all we weren't in love. No couple. Only friends with benefits or whatever they call it.

So when I decided to leave the village in order to get stronger,- it shouldn't have hurt this much. I shouldn't have cared about that part of our relationship so much. And maybe it was a mistake to go to your place that one last time. When I knocked at your door it was already dark outside. And when you opened it I could the confusion in your eyes. Usually you would be the one to come over. Or we would meet at the training grounds.

You let me in anyway and when I started pulling of your shirt you groaned in response and your lips found my neck. Soon our pants came off, too and I was on top of you grinding my hips against yours in a desperate attempt to finish off with this once and for down at you was my second mistake that night. Your face was sweaty, strands of messy blonde hair covering your forehead and pink lips slightly parted. Your eyes, those beautiful azure blue eyes were closed as always. They opened however when I carefully, almost tender closed your lips with mine.

Those beautiful eyes widened in shock, when I kissed you because I just broke our third rule. That we should never, ever kiss each other. Because kissing someone is a symbol of affection and there should not be affection involved in our relationship. It was also something that couples would do and you and I we were never together.

And that's why laying my lips on yours that night was my third mistake. It was also a mistake because now I will never forget, how sweet your lips tasted against mine or how stupidly happy I was in that split-second when I thought you were returning the kiss.m That was before you broke away eyes wide open. "Sasuke" you hissed saying my name for the very first time during our meetings.

"Don't do that" you mumbled rubbing your mouth with the back of your hand. " We're not in love right? So don't." And with that you pulled me back down pressing me against your bare chest. Your breath was hot against my neck sending shivers down my spine.

I'm happy you had your eyes closed then again, 'cause that way you didn't see the tears in my eyes when I finally realized that you really were using me for your own fun.

But that was okay I guessed, because in a way I was using you, too. I don't know if you still remember that moment, or if you ever realized why I kissed you that very night before I left. I really hope you don' all if you figured out, that I loved you- still do that wouldn't change anything at all.

It would only make everything more complicated.