Here's something I've kept in for any emergencies. I got hit with something important in my life and well, I've been saving this one for a one-shot. Take this story with a grain of salt because it really does not affect Naruto canon nor One Piece canon. It does interfere with the Boruto canon story unless you consider it before the whole Kawaki and blue marking incident even happened. It's just comedy I concocted for stupid, tired, humor. I enjoyed this, locked it away all until today where I unleashed this monster until I can arrange myself to write up a few chapter for my stories.
Anyway, this focuses solely on Team Konohamaru and the chef of the Straw Hat Pirates for crack humor. Boruto, Sarada and Mitsuki are eighteen. It's Pre Time-skip, before Sabaody Archipelago and Konohamaru himself isn't present for the trio went off on their own mission.
Hopefully you'll enjoy this, I really don't know ;3
I do not own One Piece nor Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, please support the official releases of these titles.
The first thing Boruto woke up to was the sun greeting him like a bad joke played by his little sister in the morning. He hissed at light damaging his eyes, dragging his right arm to shield the tired things as a throbbing sensation filled his head. Damn sun, damn morning, damn headaches! Everything was a little scrabble in the back of his head and for the life of him he really could not recount anything. The only thing that crashed into his was a mission success from chasing bandits away from a small village and the same village not being too far away from a small town that seemed to always party their asses off day and night. The trio decided to celebrate before heading back and reporting to his dad and well, mistakes were made.
Mitsuki (he was beginning to suspect his headache was the white haired teen's fault) suggested a toast over sweet beverages of soda before more drinks seem to keep coming and everything blanked out after that. He could recall some flashes of red and green but nothing else seemed to really drag in his attention. Boruto counted back from ten before throwing himself out of bed. Thunk.
Boruto decided to dismiss the audible quake of the bed in favor of checking over his appearance to make sure nothing... crazy occurred. His cloak was missing, so was his sword. But his white tank-top and magenta-black jacket still remained with his black pants and nearby his ninja sandals seemed to stick out on the wooden flooring. His headband was loosely tied to his head and Boruto was thankful it was still there. Oh thank god I at least have most of my clothes. But... where did everything else go? And for that matter... where the hell am I?
For his defense, Boruto really didn't recognize the room he was in. But then again, the three didn't exactly decide on where to stay. So he dismissed that too.
What was really irritating him though more than his headache and sudden thirst for anything drinkable around was the fact that his left arm wasn't leaving the bed. Boruto glared at his arm, trying to will it to move but all it did was inch before being dragged back.
Again. It moved an inch before pulling back.
Again. Once again, didn't leave its captivity.
Last time, again! For the last time, it moved a bit and stayed there.
"Hmm..." A voice hummed and Boruto felt a chill run down his spine. The blonde peered up, grabbing the bed as support from the sudden movement to stare at a lump across from him. The lump was long, wrapped up in the exact same blanket that held Boruto just a minute ago. Cautiously, the blonde yanked his left hand again and something slithered out from the covers to follow it. A calloused hand, much like his but a tad bit lighter in skin color, was attached by something to his own hand. The son of the Seventh Hokage seem to simply stare at the metallic object clamped to his left wrist and the lump's right wrist for a few moments.
When he did snap back into reality, Boruto emitted a sound that later he would profusely deny making. He screamed.
"AHH!"
The lump threw itself into action, it's own left hand landing onto the firm mattress to twist its body around and if Boruto hadn't been on the floor at that moment, a solid hit from a speeding leg would have met him. The whiskered blonde sweated as the wall above his head was cracked, chips of wood collapsing down and raining onto his messy hair, "What the hell-?! Fuck!" The same voice cursed and Boruto glanced at a man dressed up in a suit who seemed to curl into himself. "God damn hangover!"
Ah, so that explains what was gnawing at Boruto's brain. From the sudden urge to drown himself in water to a frequent headache, it really did make sense. But than again, my parent's are so going to have my head roasting over a bonfire for drinking before I turned twenty-one. So much for promising them about it. But wait a second, my friends and I were drinking soda. How the hell would we get drunk?
The man seemed to narrow his dark blue irises at his right wrist, "And why is it so hard to move this thing-?" He stopped speaking at that moment to stare at Boruto. Boruto calmly stared back at him before the man let out a surprised yelp, "And who the fuck are you?!"
"Me?!" Boruto roared. He threw himself into a standing position, regretting it for the sudden reminder of a headache to the room shakily spinning, and pointed at the other blonde occupying his room. "Who the hell are you and why are you in my room? More importantly, explain why we're chained together!"
The other blonde threw a scathing glare at him, cradling his head with his left hand, "Quiet down, you bastard!" He hissed, his... curly eyebrow... twitching.
Boruto blew into a fit of laughter, ignoring the predicament at hand, "Y-Your eyebrows are curly!" He cackled, seeing the man's curly brows twitch even harder, "D-Did you mess up a Henge or something?!"
Curly Eyebrows (Boruto decided it was his name until a real one was optional) snarled at him, "I don't know whatever this "Henge" thing is but fuck off! Leave the eyebrows alone you whiskered bastard!"
Boruto let a low sound escape his throat, "Don't knock on the whiskers, asshole. It's apart of my family, y'know? My name is Uzumaki Boruto, you?"
Curly Eyebrows seemed to smirk at riling him up, "Call me Sanji, shit-head." The man pulled himself to the edge of the bed closest to Boruto, beginning to dust himself off, "And I can't recall much of last night either so I can't shed light on anything." He snorted a bit, "Well, like it would matter to you. Your brain is as small as a moss-head's. I think your brain is bigger than his though, so you may have hope yet in the future unlike him." He looked curious at that moment, "...have you seen a moss-ball running around like a lost child? I mean, a man with green hair running around aimlessly?"
"Dude," Boruto replied with a hint of concern, "I think you may be a bit delusional. No one in their right mind would dye their hair green-like moss."
Sanji seemed to laugh at that, "You haven't met a neanderthal like my... nakama."
"Nakama?" Boruto chimed in, "There can be many ways to interpret that word, Curly Brows." Sanji's right eyebrow seemed to twitch at him, "Like say friends, acquaintances, co-workers, a lot of that kind of stuff."
"Well, shitty Whiskers," Sanji gained a light smirk as Boruto adapted a frown for the jab, "For my case, it's pirates. I'm a wanted man, and I think we need to get out of this situation together, yeah? I'm going to be nice here and say that picking the lock isn't going to work with these cuffs, I think. Damn it..." He raised his hands (dragging Boruto's left hand with him) and massaged his temples, "My memory's being a bitch right now. I think these are seastone."
"Seastone?"
"Stone that can't be cut through nor broken, hard stuff to come by. Can't be picked open either. I think I know who the hell stuck these on us... but still, better to gather our information and shit before we start accusing. We need the key to these," The man swayed their hands back and forth, "Or else your coming with me out on the sea."
The whiskered blonde hissed, "Or, you'll be joining up the ranks at my village." Both looked away for a moment.
"Well, we need to get this shit over with before my friends start wondering where the hell I went and think the worst."
Boruto pinched the bridge of his nose, "Well, let me throw on my shoes, bastard. Stupid pirates... coming up on shore and causing havoc. Hell, I think my friends and I didn't even notice you guys last night or else the village would have been plundered."
"We're not the type that goes out for murder," Sanji corrected as the ninja began to throw on his sandals, "We're the dream seeking ones."
The whiskered blonde threw a pointed look, "Well, sometimes all pirates can be bunked as the came. Can we agree on that?"
Curly Eyebrows shrugged back at him as he stood up. He dusted himself once again, gently placing his left hand into his pocket and pulling out a box, "I guess we can." Without much care, the curly blonde opened the box and pulled out a cigarette. Boruto scowled a bit as the man placed it in between his lips and lit it off, "So, maybe we can figure out what the hell happened last night down the stairs, yes?"
Boruto shrugged, his fingers carefully zipping up his jacket, "Yeah yeah, just don't do anything stupid. Agreed, pirate?"
"Agreed, whatever-the-hell-you-are."
"I'm a shinobi, inconsiderate ass."
"Fuck off."
It wasn't a good sight to see that well, they didn't arrive in a run-of-the-mill inn. In fact, it was a greater shock that it was a fucking hotel. Boruto was thankful that the room had already been paid for or else they'd have some money issues with how the wall in the room was shattered. The hotel, luckily, also served a small breakfast and so the duo decided breakfast was in order. Especially coffee to loosen the hangovers they had.
"Damn," He heard his partner bemoan, "Why the fuck does my head hurt so much...?"
Boruto continued to look into the menu the hotel happened to have in its lobby, instead replying with, "Do you think they serve some type of flavored coffee?"
"Shit-head, don't you know anything about this place?" Sanji muttered to him, his smoke giving off a faint smell of nicotine around their table.
"Well I wouldn't," Boruto deadpanned, "My friends and I were supposed to be in another village when this all happened. We went here and well, I didn't think they'd serve alcoholic beverages to minors."
The curly brow man gave a thoughtful hum, "If I knew any better, I'd be going to find my crew. But I think you wouldn't want to be with me explaining what's going on. My captain enjoys meeting people and he'd recruit you without caring about the cuffs that are keeping us together. Plus, I'm their chef. The reason why I even slept in was because of the damn shitty hangover and the fact that we'd be... eating breakfast in the city before we set out. It was cheaper and our navigator enjoys a way to get free meals if they paid for rooms. Damn, my room would have been all to myself too..." He ducked his head, a dark aura surrounding him, "Ah, my beautiful Nami-san and Robin-chan, they must be looking for me by now~!"
Boruto decided to end that pervy streak right there by smacking Sanji with the bottom of his menu, "Can you at least recall what you did last night?"
"Well... my friends and I arrived just yesterday. I went shopping for supplies since we were running low, got a great deal on a brand of smokes," Sanji tapped his chin, "My captain became friends with the mayor by beating up some thugs for him and we were invited with no expenses to drink as much as we'd like at one of their bars. The... Lotus Tavern, I think. Some of us called it quits but myself and the marimo, with our dearest navigator Nami-san~, decided to continue to drink up. My memory left me there after Nami-san turned in for the night. It was just me and moss-head all to ourselves at the bar." He shivered before a smirk grew on his face, "I hope the bastard is experiencing more grief than I am."
The grandson of the Fourth Hokage clicked his tongue, "Huh, I guess we must have met up at the tavern. I remember we found that one first..." He rubbed his blonde locks, "So, pry tell, where would you think the key to unlocking the cuffs are?"
"On men dressed up in white." He rubbed the back of his head, "Marines. Have you heard of them?"
"Not much," Boruto muttered, "We really don't hear about the outside world as much. Probably the people out on Kiri would know." He chewed on his bottom lip a bit, "So we both don't have much memory... I guess first we search for the key before our friends."
"Found you!" A voice seemed to shout and Boruto squeaked as the table shuttered from impact. A familiar face seemed to stare at him, light reflecting from her glasses to hide her eyes, "Where have you been and why was I out in a forest?" Her voice changed from curious to deadly and Boruto had to wonder, who set him up for a bad day? "I found this where I was." She dropped a cloak colored magenta and black and Boruto began to curse the gift his father and uncle chipped in together to get for him.
Instead he tried to save himself, "I don't know. I am in hangover-land Mrs. Uchiha, I have no memory aside from you, me and Mitsuki patting our backs for finishing a mission so early in a city and then we royally fuck ourselves over and- wait, where did that ring come from? And the white dress? Didn't your dad forbid marriage in your life?"
Suddenly the evil looking Uchiha glanced at her left hand and her face turned a bright shade of red. It even darkened once Boruto got a good look at her dressed up in a fancy white dress.
Boruto didn't know what to say at the moment, but it looked like Sanji did, "Ahh~! This beautiful maiden is engaged!" He looked disappointed before turning enraged, "Who would dare to surprise a lady in a marriage she cannot remember?! I'll cook this bastards ass, Lady Uchiha!"
"Her name's Sarada, she's my teammate." Boruto added in helplessly.
"Do not worry, Sarada-chan! I will destroy those who took advantage of your kind heart at a vulnerable time!"
Sarada seemed to be fed up with the ring for she his her left hand with her right, growling, "Do not tell my dad. He will flip and I do not want to see the "Boyfriend Massacre" all over again." She hushed quietly. Without another word she stole his cloak and threw it on over herself, "Until we figure out what the hell happened last night I'm taking these." She sighed, planting herself in a seat and quickly stealing a menu from a silent Boruto. In a few seconds she managed to change the topic though, "Where's Mitsuki?"
Sanji looked lost again and Boruto filled in, "He's our other teammate. He's still missing though, right?" Sarada nodded, "But anyway, Sarada, we need to find a certain key off these... "marine" guys. People dressed up in white. Think you can do something 'bout it?"
Sarada seemed out of it, "Let me get my hangover tamed before then, Bolt. I can't think straight."
"Ready to order, lady, gentlemen?" A voice chimed in and Boruto weakly looked at a young adult who looked bored.
"Coffee for all of us, please." Boruto rubbed the back of his head, "And do you know anything about the minors getting alcoholic beverages?"
The man coughed into his fist, "O-Oh. Most taverns and pubs do not pay attention to age at night for most children wouldn't dare order anything out of hand at night... and well... for hilarious shit all the pub and tavern owners usually have all the drinks spiked at a certain hour at night."
Sarada looked pleasantly disturbed, "You are all assholes." She quipped quietly, rubbing her temples with full force. Her fist seemed to be pulsating and Boruto shuffled back in his seat a bit. He did not want to be caught in a Uchiha-Haruno destruction. Even if she was his teammate, he did not wish death upon himself like his father did with hanging out with the duo way back then.
"Oh no, it gets hilarious to see people running around aimlessly. It's even funnier when someone does something out of question. I can't believe the men at the tavern decided to make you and this other guy get hitched for shits and giggles. Your wedding was beautiful though, sweet-cheeks." The man seemed to wink at the trio, "But I think the icing that took last night's most craziest shit-cake was the marines trying to hunt down pirates while drunk off their asses. Beautiful when one of them tripped, fell and couldn't get back up."
Sanji seemed quiet for a moment. Then suddenly their waiter was on the other side of the room cramped up into a wall. Boruto was half standing and Sanji was completely seething, "You assholes! That's why no one can remember shit! Fuck!" Sanji looked very pissed off and half the guests did too while rubbing their aching heads. "Come on Whiskers, Sarada-chan, we're leaving to get that god awful key from those hungover marines."
Morning greeted Mitsuki like it had done every other day. The son of the Snake Sannin opened his eyes without much struggle, staring around the slim room. "Hmm..." He hummed, his golden eyes carefully looking out the window of the room, "It looks to be around noon... I wonder why Sarada and Boruto hadn't woke me up yet." He pulled himself out of bed, doing a quick morning stretch before his gaze traveled along the room he stayed in, "Oh... we must have ordered a room that held a party." He cocked his eyebrow up a bit, a smile beginning to form, "Boruto forgot his sword too... but who owns the swords over there?"
The room was caked in confetti, four swords lying lazily around the room. "Might as well take Boruto's. I must have stolen someone else's room last night." Mitsuki calmly concluded. He rubbed the back of his head, "But it's strange... why can't I remember anything? My body feels fine... but my mind's upset." He let out a tender sigh, snatching the white bandaged sword, "Please let my teammates be downstairs or even outside this building. I do not like to use Sage Mode to hunt them down for explanations."
"HEY ZORO! YOU UP YET?!" A boisterous voice seemed to roar from behind the door, a masculine voice at that that wasn't his teammates. Mitsuki turned away from the door to check over the window for escape, "COME ON! YOU AND SANJI ARE MISSING BREAKFAST! Man... I hope Sanji gets up too. Both of you guys stayed out way too long! Even Nami came back before you two!" Mitsuki began to scramble with the window once he heard the doorknob, presumably locked, begin to jingle, "Did you and Sanji get wasted or something? Shishishi~ it'll be fine! Chopper has that hangover remedy ready for you guys like he did for Nami!" The pale eighteen year old managed to turn a shade lighter as he broke the window with the sword and fled out the window by stretching his arm out. He ignored the people's stares from below as to a shinobi with a sword leaving a room the complete wrong way.
Where are those two comrades of mine? He could only wonder as he heard shouts erupt from that room. Mitsuki rubbed the back of his head as he landed on the ground and began to blend into the crowd. And why was I in some other man's room?
"HEY! ZORO WAIT!" The voice pestered loudly and Mitsuki jumped, flinging himself into a complete opposite direction. He looked back and felt his body jolt as a tanned arm seemed to stretch around him, pulling him back. Mitsuki threw his arms out, pumping chakra into his body as he grabbed onto two buildings.
"I'm not your friend!" Mitsuki persisted, his golden eyes catching sight of obsidian black ones. Whoever had stretched (much like him, it was terrifying) had let their arms unwind from Mitsuki's body and the pale man panted. "Thanks for letting me go." He quietly muttered, beginning to walk away.
Much like a rubber band, whoever had been chasing him caught the nearest building and sling shot themselves over. The man was dressed up in a dark red vest, blue shorts and light brown sandals. He was also wearing a straw hat, Mitsuki noticed, as the man's eyes shined light bright stars, "Your so cool, pale guy! You stretch just like me!" He chirped brightly and his call for someone that wasn't him had ended. The man snagged his finger on his cheek and stretched it, "You see?"
"I... I see." Mitsuki muttered, pulling at his own cheek and with channeling chakra he stretched it just the same.
"My names Luffy and I'm going to be Pirate King, why were you in my friend's room?" The man seemed to have no tact whatsoever and Mitsuki sighed.
"I woke up there with just about no memory," The golden eyed teen quipped, "So I cannot answer your question, Luffy-san."
Luffy seemed to droop down, "Aww... well, you should meet my crew!" He chirped, "I think Chopper would enjoy to see you stretch two! Both of us, stretching twins! I wonder if there really are two of a kind devil fruits!" Mitsuki threw on a polite smile as Luffy grabbed his wrist and began to escort them back to where they once stayed, wondering what really happened last night for him to meet a strange person.
The walk wasn't much pleasant, especially since Boruto was shorter than Sanji. The chef would grumble every so often as he took in a fresh breath of nicotine and released its toxic fumes into the environment. Sarada was quiet, quite unlike herself, but Boruto couldn't blame her either. The city had made fum of them in more ways than one and they just wanted to everything back to normal before their parents found out back at Konoha. "So, where would you think the marine guys are at?" He brought up, looking at the edge of the city where the docks resided.
"Around here, hopefully. If those bastards left I swear..." Sanji muttered and Boruto could easily detect the threat lying underneath.
Sarada decided to join in, "They wouldn't leave with hangovers now would they? Everyone got fucked up, especially us... damn, if I had sent any pictures of that so called "wedding" to my dad we're going to die."
"Probably get grounded and probation from B-rank or C-rank missions too." Boruto added, looking forlorn.
"What are "shinobi" around here, anyway?" It looked like a great change of subject rather than walking around aimlessly without speaking. Thankfully Sanji had that respect for them and their problems and didn't press into anything unimportant, say their parents.
Sarada perked up, "Well sir, being a shinobi back then would be to serve, protect and fulfill our jobs to protect our country, our own government from other tyranny's such as others who sought control. We are from Konoha. It's one of the largest villages, well it could be considered city like this place but its more of a village, in this giant nation. Most visitors here don't go deeper into the nation so we really don't throw a fit about you guys like Kiri does. They hate pirates with a passion. Konoha leaves this place to mind its own business since its where Kiri arrives for conferences with other nations." She began to look thoughtful, "Anyway, shinobi these days are relatively the same but instead of fighting with other villages we do missions for small homes to make extra income. We're doing fine as a whole in our village. Boruto, Mitsuki and I came to a village close by to fend of bandits. We got it done early and went out here to celebrate. We should have went home like normal shinobi on a mission do but we got cocky after easily defeating them." She sighed tenderly, "Then this all happened. Let's find these marines guys and Mitsuki, hmm?"
Sanji looked thoughtful, "Well- ah shit, look at that." He played with his smoke, his left hand rising to cater to his smoke. Boruto looked towards what Sanji was glancing at and paused, a shit-eating grin growing on his face as Sarada's glasses seemed to reflect as she too, smiled.
People dressed in white, marines, were twitching and groaning on the ground helplessly. Most of them looked beat up or ready to throw up. One of them threw up their heads and stared at the trio, his eyes narrowing, "I-It's the pirate from last night!" The man chocked out and the rest groaned. "I told you I got him... well, almost got him but still!"
"Be quiet!" The rest hissed at the loud marine.
Loud marine whimpered at their own shouts and held his head, "W-Where's your friends, Black Leg?" Boruto raised an eyebrow at the other blonde and Sanji shrugged.
"Who was with us last night?" Sarada hissed, stomping forward and slamming the white heel onto the loud marine's hand. The rest seemed to looked either pissed or thankful that the loud one was shut up for now, "Tell me, now." Loud marine let out a shriek of pain as the heel began to stab into his hand with vigor, it looked to be that Sarada was truly done with the day as a whole. Her whole body seemed to glint with the promise of pain.
"You, the blonde, Black Leg, Pirate Hunter, and a pale teen! I swear!"
"The key to this?" Sarada waved her hand at the cuffs and loud marine turned pale.
"We-we knew we lost a pair of seastone handcuffs to Black Leg last night after trying to catch him and Pirate Hunter together..." Loud marine muttered, "But for them to get stuck on a civilian and not Pirate Hunter, now that must be troublesome. Anyway, Kevin went to your wedding-!"
Sarada began to crush the man's hand with her heel, beginning to draw blood, "The key."
He began to whimper once again, his eyes going wide, "We lost the key in the city! I swear!" At that, Boruto and Sanji's expressions seemed to darken and the marine went white as a sheet, "B-But I can tell you the last place we had it was where this girl and Pirate Hunter got married!"
"Where was the ceremony?!" Sarada demanded as Sanji's complexion seemed to change into a dark red color. Boruto took as much steps as he could away from the chef who was beginning to emit fire.
"HOW DARE THAT SHIT HEAD GET LUCKY WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!" Sanji cursed, his eye seething with flames. "WHY IS IT NEVER ME!?"
Boruto patted his back from as far away as he was, "Don't worry, Sarada will most likely file for divorce as soon as she sees him. Your pirates, remember?" Sanji fell to the ground and Boruto yelped as he hit the floor too. The chef began to bang on the ground hard, suddenly sobbing.
"Why... why is it never me...?"
Meanwhile the marine looked to be unconscious by now and Sarada walked over to the two, "Come on, we're going to the Lotus Tavern. I guess I got married there."
Mitsuki thought he had seen some weird shit before when living with his dad. Well, the weirdest thing he ever seen was a piece of toast being animated to life and that was a complete accident. But, he had to guess, that the walking and talking skeleton took the cake. Only once had his father mentioned reanimation to a human being... but really, that didn't compensate for a skeleton. "Yohohoho, it's nice to meet you. My name is Brook." The living skeleton chimed in absentmindedly but the child of the Snake Sannin didn't particularly mind. He was dragged to a large table and sat between Luffy and the skeleton and it seemed to be that they were having breakfast.
He could have screamed, panicked or shouted at the top of his lungs at the new... creature, in front of him. But Mitsuki had self control much like his father and instead replied with, "I'm charmed to meet you too." He put a finger under his chin, "I've seen many strange things... but your appearance is real... thinning."
Brook let out a cackle, "Yohohoho, to see you is a sight for sore eyes, ah, but I don't have any eyes! Skull joke!"
Mitsuki chuckled, "So that's what jokes the dead make, hmm?"
"Agreed!" Brook laughed as so did the pale teen. The two lightly hit their tea cups together and after a moment began to drink in silence.
Well, until a lady with short orange-red hair decided to add in, "So, your name is Mitsuki, right?"
"It's what most address me as, yes. Pry tell, who may the rest of you be? I only got Brook-san and Luffy-san's names." Mitsuki remembered his father always told him to learn about the enemy before acting, it was the best way to make sure not to fall for some sort of trap.
"My name is Nami, and you really don't know what happened to you last night?"
"Well Nami-san," Mitsuki lightly tapped his chin, "The only recollection I seem to have is ah... hmm... my friends drinking. We weren't trying to get mesmerized by alcohol either. It was soda, and suddenly the next thing I can remember is waking up in that room that belonged to your..."
"Swordsman." Luffy added in helpfully, chomping down on a platter filled with sausages. It looked to be a buffet in the hotel they were staying in and Mitsuki could only wonder how they arrived there. "Hmm, is Chopper still trying to get Sanji up?" He asked a woman with raven hair and brown eyes.
The woman gave a delicate smile, "Most likely. Though I heard a rumor about this city... Ware City." Mitsuki felt a bit off put by the smile but hey, these people seemed nice... for now at least, "At a randomly chosen hour at night, every drink at each tavern, pub or bar that is served... contains high amounts of differentiating toxins. Mainly spiking drinks or double the amount poured in a glass. Sometimes for fun, this city even adds drugs to mess around with those who stay out late."
"That... makes sense, most likely my friends and I had spiked drinks." Mitsuki let out a sigh, "Though, I guess I'm immune to the... hangover. "
Nami looked at him with envy, "Your lucky, Mitsuki. It's terrible when you wake up with it."
Suddenly a man with green hair sat at the table, rubbing his head with half-lidded eyes, "Shit... how much did I drink?"
Luffy seemed to regain positive energy for he threw his hands up and cheered, ignoring the way both Nami and the green-haired man scowled, "Zoro! Your alright!" He stretched out his hand (Mitsuki still couldn't believe someone else could stretch like him, though his father kinda could it was still mesmerizing) and pointed at the three swords that had greeted Mitsuki earlier with Boruto's sword (that was on Mitsuki's person at the current moment), "Your swords are all right there! Where were you, anyways?"
A... reindeer... human... thing seemed to throw itself onto one of the empty seats, taking an pre-ordered juice and sipping on the straw, "He was in Sanji's room!" It protested, looking tiredly at Zoro, "Dressed up in a suit. I thought it was Sanji blocking the door at first but when I turned Heavy Point and opened the door there he was sleeping on the floor in a suit."
Zoro looked over his person, staring quietly, "...I wonder where my clothes went." He muttered.
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Nami hissed, glaring him down. "Do you remember what happened to yourself last night?!"
"No, the only thing I can even remember is you challenging me to a drinking contest! You bailed and left it on the shitty cook to beat me and then it's gone!" Zoro accused and suddenly Nami was looking towards a teen around her age with a long nose.
"Wouldn't you agree that was fair, Usopp?"
The teen, Usopp, gave Nami a look, "I'd say it's as fair as much as Luffy can lie."
"What's that on your finger, Swordsman-bro?" A man with vibrant blue hair asked and Mitsuki let his gaze fall towards Zoro's hands. Everything seemed to quiet down as Zoro raised his left hand, flashing it.
"Huh."
The lady with raven hair let out a soft chuckle, "Fufufu... I think our swordsman has found himself a wife. Fourth finger on the left hand is the "Marriage" finger."
"R-Robin?!" Usopp choked out, "Zoro got married?!"
"Really?!" Luffy voice, his eyes glowing once again like when he saw Mitsuki stretch. "Zoro you have to introduce us, we're nakama!"
Zoro groaned, banging his head onto the table, "I don't even know that I got married. Fuck... damn headaches..."
The reindeer thing gave Zoro a pitying look, "I'll go get the hangover remedy..."
"Thanks, Chopper..." The doctor summon (Mitsuki was presuming that, hopefully he was right) went off towards the stacked swords were a small blue bag with a white "X" laid.
"But... that still doesn't explain what happened to Sanji-kun..." Nami muttered, crossing her arms. "He could be anywhere in the city."
"Well, just call for him and he'll come," The blue man joked.
Brook laughed, "Yohohoho, now that would be surprising."
Nami seemed to think about that idea for a second, "I wish it would be that easy for all of you, especially Zoro... We're probably going to have to find him on foot."
"Hmm... I think he'd be with my friends." Mitsuki calmly added, "If I was where he was supposed to be, or at least in a close proximity, wouldn't he be with my friends?"
Blue man seemed to think this over a bit, "It would make sense... if you were with Curly Cook-bro and Swordsman-bro last night with your friends... maybe the two of you got mixed up or something."
"Great thing, Franky!" Luffy cheered, "So this means we'll meet your friends too, huh, Stretchy-Guy?"
Mitsuki flashed a light smile, "Of course." He immediately let chakra flow into his cheeks once Luffy grabbed onto one of them to stretch in front of his friends. The people in front of him had shocked eyes and Luffy erupted into laughter.
"You guys look funny, shishishi~!"
"We have the right!" Mitsuki chuckled as they barked back at their friend, "He's stretching like you and there shouldn't be two devil fruits in existence!"
"Devil fruits?" Mitsuki put his hand underneath his chin as Luffy continued to play with his cheek with his fingers, "What would those be?" He had heard the stretching teen mention it earlier but he really didn't think about it much then.
Robin's eyes seemed to light up at him and Mitsuki just knew an interesting conversation would take place, "You wouldn't know what devil fruits are?"
"I don't exactly live here, Robin-san." Mitsuki carefully replied, "I live northeast from this place. A place referred to as Konohagakure no Sato." Her eyes seemed to brighten even more and Mitsuki's smile grew.
Yes, it would be a good conversation for the hour as everyone else settled down to eat breakfast. Maybe his friends would bring this "Sanji" guy to them and hopefully not cause a scene without him?
Sarada was leading the team this time after Sanji was slowly repairing his mind. Fire was trailing behind them and Boruto had to be concerned about one thing. Was the fire from Sarada or Sanji? He really didn't know and preferred not to find out violently. In minutes their destination arrived and the eighteen-year-old Uchiha heiress slowed her march to a halt, "You boys look for your key out here. I have... matters... to discuss with the owner of this fine establishment."
Boruto had caught Sarada's eyes before the sun began to reflect off of them, "Sarada, be nice to the people here. Would you like our father's to figure this out the hard way with reports of dead bodies showing up at my Dad's desk?"
Instead, Sarada turned to Sanji with big eyes and clapped her hands, "Would you be a dear and look out here~?" She coated her tone sugary sweet and Boruto sighed at the chain-smoker (literally, all day the man smoked, he had to be suspicious with the man not coughing one bit) who's visible eye turned into a pink heart. "I know I would make this go much faster~ but really, I need to settle my whole "marriage" issue by myself, don't you think, Sanji-kun~?"
"Of course!" Sanji voice in, his eyes turning into a mixture combo of a burning heart, "My passionate heart with continuously burn for you, sweet Sarada-chan~! Make your choice over keeping the shitty marimo and deal with those terrible, terrible people! If you may need your knight in the waiting, I will gladly hide the bodies for you~!"
Boruto pinched the bridge of his nose as Sarada giggled, her Sharingan beginning to blaze, "You boys may have good luck finding the key out here~! See ya~!" She cooed with her eyelashes flashing and Sanji saluted as she walked right into the wooden doors of the Lotus Tavern. She's going to fucking murder the owner. Hopefully Sanji can keep out his act of love or else my dad would pretty much either ground me and demote us to Genin again or raise this city to the ground and I'm pretty sure it would be the former. Though, Uncle Sasuke, I cannot guess what he'd do once my dad tells him about it. Probably keep hovering over his daughter for a month similar to the "Boyfriend Massacre"... poor Inojin and Metal, they only had so much longer before the Chūnin Exams began. It was so sudden with their broken arms... to each of them none the less... Boruto knew that those were suddenly caused by a very overprotective father of Sarada.
Though no one (mainly his dad) didn't say it was the Uchiha, it was outspoken to anyone else who dared tried to hook up with the Uchiha's daughter that death was promised (probably unless if they proved themselves to the fatherly Uchiha, which would most likely never happen). Frankly, Boruto did not want to deal with the whole bullshit that was the pirate situation if Sasuke did catch wind of the wedding... and well, someone's blood would be shed if the news did hit the elderly Uchiha.
"Come on, Whiskers, keep looking!" Sanji's voice prodded him out of his musings and the whiskered blonde dropped down to look around.
"Stop calling me Whiskers." Boruto growled.
"Well the nickname would come and go if we found the key faster."
Boruto sat up, dragging the chef with him, "Wait a second..." He face palmed, "Being hung over mostly all morning made me forget about my own dōjutsu!"
"...dōjutsu?"
"It's an ability utilized in my eyes, Sarada has it too. But its commonly rare for other shinobi to have it... we're just lucky to be offspring of those who do possess those eyes. Sarada can manipulate the enemy while I can detect them. Mitsuki can do the same with his snazzy Sage Mode but that's a different story."
Sanji's visible eye narrowed at him, "So, your telling me, you can use your power to find the key?"
Boruto shrugged, "Well, I'm not all too comfortable using my Byakugan. Don't make fun of my eyes or even talk about them, got it? I don't like people knowing I have something crazily strong. It's a secret advantage, y'know?" He shook his head, forming a hand sign that he was beginning to become familiar with, "Byakugan." Everything turned black and white at that moment and it was one of the reasons why Boruto particularly didn't favor it. It was unnecessary, surprising, and it made him seem like he relied on it too.
He dismissed the thoughts as he felt the gaze of the Curly Eyebrow man land on his eyes. He ignored it and skimmed around, dragging the chef along once he thought he found something all until one of his guesses... were right, "Yes!" He heard Sanji's voice gleefully crow, the hand (with the chakra system running through it, did all foreigners have chakra systems too?) snatching the black object and Boruto quickly released chakra flow. His eyes began to turn normal as he caught the face of Sanji smirking along his cigarette before showing off the actual light grey key.
Boruto perked up as the chef jabbed the small thing into the lock, twisting it with sick glee... click.
The cuffs fell off and the shinobi jumped away from the other, "Close proximity... finally gone!" Boruto cheered.
Sanji picked up the cuffs and began studying them, "Shitty marines... always causing the strangest problems. It makes me wonder why they too were drunk off their asses." He muttered, twisting the wretched things as he pocketed the key himself, "If they wanted to smart, wouldn't they have made sure not to drink?"
"It sounds like the police force outside of our country is weak," Boruto teased, "Don't you agree?"
The curly blonde laughed, "Now that's something I'd toast to." He paused, "Well, toast to out of this city."
"Agreed," The whiskered blonde muttered, "Now I wonder why Sarada is taking so long..." The son of the Seventh Hokage peeked open the wooden doors, hearing Sanji's footsteps quietly follow him, "Sarada? Are you- holy shit!" He screeched. Well, it was shocking entirely.
It wasn't surprising that the tavern owners and workers were twitching on the floor. It wasn't a shock either to see that Sarada found her clothes here, dressed up in her Chūnin outfit either. It wasn't even scary to see a box filled with shit next to her as she sat at one of the wooden tables too (most likely the stuff in the box was the groom's stuff, he wasn't going to ask). What was though, was her expression that seemed to be terrified over some white pieces of paper in her hands.
"Bolt..." She began in a voice-like whisper, "I think, in these pictures, that we were more than victims of spiked drinks and forced marriage... I think they were trying to blackmail the daughter and sons of three powerful political figures." Sanji had opened the other door, twirling around.
"Do not worry, Sarada-chan! Your lovely knight is here to protect you! I'll make sure these shit-heads will never blackmail a beautiful maiden such as yourself ever again~!" Sarada's fist had collided with Sanji's head (luckily without chakra) and the man hit the ground with a bit of a crack to the wooden floor.
"We didn't get blackmailed. They almost pulled that stunt... but look at us, Bolt. We're drunk as hell in these photos... and I think it explains everything." She shuffled through the many photos once again, placing them neatly in a manila envelope. "Why don't we track down Mitsuki and my... uh, husband, now shall we?" Before anything, she looked back at Sanji, "And I've pestered them while you two were out there. So long as I make mention to my husband-" It looked like Sarada was struggling to even call anyone that. It was so sudden, after all, "-then I can let them know it isn't actual marriage, thankfully. We didn't sign any legal documents saying that we were exactly married and even if we did, it didn't have our conscious consent."
"So really," Boruto chimed, "You didn't have much to worry about at all!"
Sarada gave a deadly smirk, "Well, I would have had to worry if they weren't... kind enough... to tell me the right information."
Sanji sagged with relief with a smile blooming onto his face, "At least your not married to that shitty marimo."
The small group of pirates (Robin-san happily informed him in exchange for information about the nation as a whole, it was an excellent deal seeing as the pirates wouldn't cause a great damage to Konoha and in return the woman got more knowledge of the past, however it may help her) weren't exactly the quietest group of people along the streets. Mitsuki was thankful for that, it gave him time to focus on where Sarada's and Boruto's chakra signatures laid. Though, the pirates were persisting on a topic that completely amused the eighteen-year-old.
"So Zoro, who do you think is your wife out of all these people?" It was the little doctor that started it all and Mitsuki wanted to chuckle at the childlike innocence radiating off the summon- no wait, devil fruit consumer (it wasn't a summoner, he was told that too).
Zoro spluttered, completely at a loss of words, "I wouldn't know, I can't remember shit about last night."
"Hmm... would she be ugly?" Franky jabbed and Zoro scowled.
"At least let her be beautiful to look at," The swordsman muttered, his fist clenching at the three swords at his hip (it was interesting, Mitsuki may have to request the Hokage to tell him about the container of Gyuuki more. To use more than two swords would be impossible, for the swordsman three was his limit but the snake's child had heard about the wielding of eight swords at once before.
"Ah, I wonder if she's... a deviant." Brook had suggested.
Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose, "May she not be like you or the Ero-Cook either!"
Mitsuki decided to add his two cents after he found the location of his teammates, at the same tavern they went to when they arrived, huh. "Maybe she'll be a tyrant in your marriage?"
Zoro began to look a little bit pale, "Please let her be a fucking saint after all the times I dealt with this witch right here." He hissed, tossing a look towards Nami. The orange-red head woman threw on an innocent smile once Mitsuki let his gaze fully reside on her for those few seconds.
Luffy let out a cheerful laugh, "Nee, stretching guy, do you know where Sanji is now?"
"At the tavern we all explored yesterday," Mitsuki clarified, "Hmm... I think they may be waiting for us." At that Luffy shot up, his grin growing.
"So what are we waiting for, let's get going!"
"Glad to see your all here," Sarada had muttered, her arms folded perfectly in front of her face while covering her mouth. "Especially you, Mitsuki."
Mitsuki chuckled, "Nice to see you too, Sarada-chan, Boruto-kun." He handed over the sword to a very ecstatic Boruto, "I believe this belongs to you."
"Yes!" Boruto cheered, attaching it to his hip, "First my cloak and now my sword, everything's back!"
"Sanji!" The chef yelped as he was tackled by Luffy, Usopp and Chopper, "Where'd you go?!"
"I went crazy." He sarcastically mused, patting the reindeer on his head once his eyes went bulging wide, "I'm not serious, Chopper! ...I just ran into some problems with Whiskers over there."
"Hi Whiskers!" Both reindeer and straw hat wearing teen chirped.
"My name is Boruto!" The grandson of the Fourth Hokage snapped, "Not "Whiskers"! Ugh, your so infuriating stupid Curly Brows!"
"Hey, cook!" The chef's gazed landed on a certain green-haired bastard, his gaze icy cold, "...do you know who the hell I got engaged too?"
"Oh, that's me." Sarada sheepishly chimed in, rubbing the back of her head. "We're not actually married. So, you can do whatever you like. I'm not holding you back one bit."
Zoro went quiet, "Alright." He took off the ring, tossing it over his shoulder (ignoring the squeak of pain from one of the workers at the tavern). He looked pleasantly surprised at the box nearby the glasses wearing woman, "Oh, that's what happened to my clothes." He snatched up the box and stormed away, most likely to find the nearest restroom to change back into his proper attire instead of a tight formal suit.
"So you'd be married to our swordsman if it was legal?" Robin had slid into a chair right next to the "Shinobi Trio".
Sarada shrugged, "Most likely. I don't want my dad to cause a scene so I would have filed for a divorce most likely. He wouldn't like the "Oh! Well Papa, I'm engaged to a pirate who's out sailing the seas!" type of speech. I think the long range relationship wouldn't work for me either... but then again, my Papa pulls that stunt too."
"What about those pictures?" Boruto noted, tilting his head, "Didn't you want to show those off?"
The glasses wearing girl's face turned a light pink, "Bolt," She began, "I don't think-" She looked down, letting out a squeak of surprise at the missing manila envelope. "Where did it go?!"
Fire started up in the corner of the room, a certain chef wielding a light underneath the envelope, "I think, for everyone's sanity, that these pictures don't hit the light of day." His face was red, his teeth gritting down hard on his cigarette and everyone else (sans the tavern people, Sarada and Sanji) could only wonder, what exactly was in that envelope?
After a few moments of cursing out Sanji (mainly everyone did but Sarada and Mitsuki) everyone had began to travel to the docks together. After the whole experience well... "Are you sure you guys?" Luffy seemed to persist for another time.
Sarada laughed, "After this whole experience... I think I rather stay home for a week or two."
Boruto nodded, "Plus, going out at sea isn't my kind of thing. I got a family to watch over when my dad's not around."
Mitsuki chuckled, "As much as I'd think that'd be a wonderful idea... I'll have to politely decline. I have to keep my eyes on these two, you see? Without me... there would be more chaos than lingered now."
Both paused, staring at him with a what-the-hell look but the snake's child didn't say much more. Luffy instead had a down-ridden expression, "Aww... but having a shinobi in the Pirate King's crew would have been so cool..."
After a moment, Sarada decided to jump in once again, "Well... how about when I become leader of my village, my people can come out there and meet up with you guys again. Wouldn't that sound fun?"
"Like a party filled with ninjas?!" Usopp jumped in, his eyes glowing, "Now that'd be awesome!"
"Yeah, super awesome!" Chopper sighed dreamily, "I wish we could do that now..."
"Too tired out to party," Boruto mentioned. "But yeah, when Sarada becomes Hokage... we'll try to meet up with you guys again. Now that'd be cool then. I have to sure the Uchiha heiress does take up my dad's throne, after all."
"Like I commented before, I have to keep track of these two... always fooling around." Mitsuki shook his head, "I never get a break from fretting over them."
"Tell me about it, it's danger every day with these guys." Nami jabbed a finger at the men of the crew, "It's always Robin and I that never seem to get into as much trouble as they do... boys will be boys..."
Suddenly, Sarada stopped her quick pace, "...is that your ship?" She asked quietly, staring up at the large colorful ship with a lion's head.
Franky looked oh-so-pleased with himself, "Yeah, Glasses-sis, I created her myself for these guys! She's SUPER when she needs to be, the Thousand Sunny!"
Each of the "Shinobi Trio" looked pleased at the design, "It's... really cool." Boruto commented cheerfully, his eyes glowing at the sight.
"Something to marvel about on the way back home..." Mitsuki muttered.
Sarada gave a weak smile, "I guess this is where we part ways?" She instead notified, crossing her arms.
Mitsuki looked at the group of misfits and smiled. "Won't we meet again, Luffy-san?"
Luffy gave a blinding smile, "Of course. Shishishi~!" He laughed, stretching his hand to clasp onto the railing of the Sunny, "We're friends, don't you know, Stretchy-Guy?!"
"Of course." Mitsuki confirmed, his small smile growing just a bit more.
"I suggest you take off soon before those marine guys get over their hangovers!" Boruto added, smirking once he saw Sanji muttered a curse while climbing the ship's ladder. "Good luck on your journey, y'know!" His legs swept him up, his body walking away from the pier as most of the crazy pirates waved back with joyous calls.
"Safe travels, don't do anything stupid!" Sarada added, following Boruto's example.
"May our paths clash once again!" Mitsuki added one last time before chasing after his teammates who had one thing on left on their minds.
Home.
Alright, I feel like this ending... just didn't fit the bill. Like, it wasn't how I wanted to end it, but it did contain what I wanted the story to turn out to be. Either way, the story as a whole satisfies me... just not the ending.
But then again, here are some things that either:
A) Did not make the final draft.
B) Were mentioned and not full explained
and
C) Just the way to add on without dragging the story on as a whole.
Here are at least... well... some omakes! Enjoy, folks!
Omake 1: Boyfriend Massacre
Boruto calmly sipped his tea, quirking an eyebrow, "So Sarada... why are you keeping a distance between us?" He asked, his tone mellow while the raven-haired woman jumped a bit. They were just getting some dango and tea after a mission success back home... but weirdly, the Uchiha heiress was staying about a five foot distance from her teammates. Konohamaru-sensei offered to turn in the report to his dad and everything was going smoothly for a small break, well, except Sarada's mood.
"T-There's nothing wrong with keeping away for awhile!" She chirped, a smile plastered on her face. Her glasses were being shaded from the sun so Boruto couldn't read what she really was feeling. "Right Papa?" Sarada turned her head and suddenly, one Uchiha Sasuke was sitting next to her.
He smiled softly, poking her forehead, "Of course." They went back to eating while the Uchiha duo talked among themselves.
Mitsuki leaned over to him, cupping his hand, "Inojin and Metal were sent to the hospital after both trying to ask Sarada out. Broken arms, I happen to recall. I had to treat one of their wounds too." His smile was a bit too calm for the information told, making Boruto gulp and connect the dots.
"Ooh... well, I guess we lost our teammate for awhile." Boruto shrugged, "Maybe we should try to get her back when Uncle Sasuke goes out for another mission?"
"That'd be the likely choice, but he's using time off for awhile. Just til the end of the month."
"...well, shit."
Omake 2: Fighting
"Alright, we need to beat some thugs." Boruto muttered, "But... who's going to lead?" He craned his head to Sanji, who was staring at the seastone cuffs with despair.
"Well..." Suddenly Sanji raised his leg, "You hang on and hit some people and I go and kick them?"
Boruto pinched the bridge of his nose, "This is too fucking complicated... I wish I had my sword."
Sanji tilted his head, "So... how would you fight then without it?"
"Well, I'd dish some Gentle Fist and some jutsu- wait a second." Boruto flashed a grin at the chef, "How about I throw one of my Rasengan at them and I hang onto your back as you kick?"
The pirate lit up his cigarette, shrugging, "Sounds better than you hanging onto my leg."
Omake 3: Reporting The Mission
"We're back!" Boruto cheered, well, he hoped it was enough to throw off his dad. His dad wasn't looking too pleased about something and Boruto could only wonder if he knew. Please don't know!
Instead, his father questioned, "How did the mission go?"
Mitsuki took lead, replying, "It went well. The bandits did not stand a chance against all three of us. We took them down and returned home as planned."
"Uh-huh." His dad muttered, writing something down on his pad of paper, "Well, you guys can go back to your homes after you answer me this one question, y'know?" His father bit his lip, "Damn it, need to stop using the tic in important meetings."
Sarada nodded, "Of course, Hokage-sama. What is the question?"
"...why did Sarada's father show up at my doorstep cursing everyone to death?" Naruto put a hand underneath his chin, "Really, the only times he did that was when those two Genin had been sent to the hospital. There was still no evidence to who did that..." The older blonde tapped his pen on the table, looking bored, "But seriously, what did you do?"
The trio glanced at one another and suddenly Mitsuki took the lead again, "Well, Hokage-sama, I wouldn't have a clue. We went straight to the destination and back."
"Okay." Naruto accepted the answer, "But answer me another question then."
Boruto rolled his eyes, "What is it, Dad?"
"Well first of all it's Hokage-sama when your here for business. Second of all, do you know what Hinata-chan is making for dinner?" This time he had a lop-sided grin, "Do you?"
"No Hokage-sama I wouldn't know, haven't been home yet."
Naruto sighed, "Well Bolt, I'll see you back home for dinner tonight. Your dismissed," He yawned, giving a wave, "G'night guys!"
I hoped you enjoy this story as I go on break for a few days. Thanks for reading!