hey, so this is my first fanfic. i think it's pretty good. tell me your opinion and i'll love you forever! haha.
disclaimer: yeah, i own nothing to do with twilight. i do wish though...(:
Blank Awakening
I didn't know what to think. I was lost, confused, guilty. What they were telling me didn't make any sense. How could she be gone? She couldn't, could she? I hated them at that moment. I didn't have a reasonable excuse for hating them, or anyone for that matter, because I didn't even know who they were telling me about. What did it matter to me? I didn't know, but I felt angry at them just the same.
They told me Angela was dead. Who is that? That there was a car accident. One that I happened to participate in. That my sister was dead. I had no idea what they were talking about. Doctors, nurses kept running about around me. I felt as though I was moving in slow motion. I sat up from the hospital bed I was sitting in slowly, almost hoping, no, praying, that this horrible nightmare was just that, a horrible nightmare. The guilt i felt when they told me i was the reason this mystery girl was dead was terribly crushing.
"Bella?" I heard someone question me with a worried voice from my side. "Bella, sweetie, are you alright?"
"What do you mean?" I questioned right back, turning my head to face the voice. As I continued to sit up straighter, I noticed my voice was oddly scratchy. "I'm fine…"
And then it hit me, a crashing wave of vertigo far stronger than any I had ever felt.
"Honey, please just stay down. You hit your head pretty hard." I labeled the saddened voice as belonging to Renee, my mother. What did she mean I hit my head?
Ah, that's what she meant, I thought to myself as I began to feel the peculiar numbness that I had recognized earlier wear off and the throbbing in my head became increasingly more noticeable. I reached up to touch my head where the throbbing felt the worst. My hand met the itchy bandages wrapped around my head to protect my supposed injury.
"I hit my head? When, what happened? Why am I here?" I fired at her in a low voice, not giving her any time to answer the questions.
"Slow down, baby. You were in an accident? Do you remember that?" she asked me in a soothing voice, but I could hear the trembling she seemed to be trying to hide. And I could see the puffiness in her eyes from her crying.
"An accident? No, I can't remember…" And I really couldn't remember, I barely even knew where I was for that matter.
"Well, you and your sister, you were hit by a drunk driver, or so I'm told. You were driving, do you remember that?"
"I-I…" I stuttered before I was taken far away from the room to an unfamiliar scene. I was in what I assumed was a car from the steering wheel i was holding, as a bright light flashed, and shone brightly so that I couldn't see anything, before everything went black. I was confused by this; I had not the faintest idea as to where it had come from.
As I gradually came back to my senses, I noted Renee's terrified look. She rose from the chair placed next to my bed and pressed the button on the wall that was labeled nurse's assistance. The nurse came bustling in seconds later. She checked my vitals and breathing and then said I should probably take it easy so as not to work myself up. Renee asked her if she could see the doctor.
"She doesn't seem to remember anything and I'm worried. She scared me so much when she spaced," she told the nurse. The nurse said she would get the doctor right away.
Renee started to tear up and sniffle; it was getting louder and louder as we waited for the doctor to enter the room. I simply stared confusedly at her, questioning her without my words. I was fine, wasn't I? Why was she so worked up? My confused face seemed to drive her to more extreme sobs. I was sincerely lost.
A man, who I guessed was the doctor we had be waiting for, walked in. He had graying hair and a warm, crinkly smile. His ID card read 'Dr. Rallison, M.D.' and then he introduced himself to me, telling me how nice it was to meet me.
"Hello, Bella. Do you think you can tell me your full name?" he asked me calmly, as he flashed a small light into my eye after sitting down in the chair he had pulled up.
"Uh, B-Bella…"and then I spaced again as he flashed his light in front of my other eye. I started to panic; why couldn't I remember my name? "I don't know, I can't, I-I just don't remember?"
My statement turned into a question as I frantically wondered why I couldn't remember.
"OK, Bella. Do you know what month it is?" Dr. Rallison asked me, still calm.
"November?" I said, unsure, almost positive I was wrong because, once again, my mind came up to a complete blank.
The doctor shot a quick glance toward my mother, who was practically shaking with her worry, before looking back at me.
"Do you remember anything about the crash? Your sister? Anything?" he asked me in an almost begging voice, as if he hoped I would miraculously remember something. But I just couldn't. What sister? I could not recall anything to do with a sister. Frankly, I couldn't recall anything from before waking up to the doctors around me a few hours ago. Other than, of course, that Renee was my mother.
"No, nothing...I have a sister?" I asked half amazed and half scared to death that I couldn't bring to mind anything that the doctor or my mother had asked me.
At my question, Renee started bawling even louder than before. Dr. Rallison stood and took a step back from me.
"Mrs. Swan? Would you mind joining me in the hallway?"
Renee got up and left the room with him.
Swan. Huh, so maybe that is my last name? Swan, Swan, I thought to myself, a tiny bit relieved that I at least knew something about myself now.
I looked through the window next to the door to see Dr. Rallison telling something to my mother, with an expression filled with pity. I sat there for an immeasurable amount of time, just watching them talk, as my mother's face grew more and more horrified. Finally, whatever the doctor had told her had caused Renee to collapse against him sobbing uncontrollably. He held her up, shushing her, and hugging her.
This strange interaction caused me to be filled with curiosity as to what had my mother so distraught. I began to feel the throbbing pain in my head become stronger and stronger, and I began to get faint, dizzy.
A few moments later my mom and the doctor reentered the room. Renee had barely calmed down, and Dr. Rallison was hunched over, but only slightly.
"Well," he started. "I, myself, have never had a case quite like this." He paused.
"Bella, you hit your head with an extreme amount of force in the car accident. This kind of injury usually doesn't result to much more than just that. But, in your case, you seem to have developed amnesia." At this my mother wailed loudly. I was stunned into silence because of what I had just been told.
"I'm so, so sorry. Do you know what it is?" he asked me.
I couldn't do more than shake my head in reply, as my shock still had a hold on my voice.
"Well, in your case, which is extremely rare, it happens to be a case of functional and organic amnesia. This basically means that although it was caused by your head trauma, it was also caused as a self-defense mechanism. You seem to have post-traumatic amnesia, as well as your head injury.
"Now, not all cases of amnesia are permanent. These cases are usually short-lived. But, there are always the few who don't overcome it, and for those it remains permanent. Yours hopefully will not be a lasting condition," he finished with a sad, but hopeful tone.
My mother rushed past him and hugged me. I didn't hug her back; I was still, completely unresponsive from my shock. I laid there with my mother clinging to me for dear life and my mouth hanging wide open.
What was he saying? I couldn't remember anything? Or that I would never remember anything? Ever? I was scared and confused. Very, very confused. And the throbbing in my head started to become increasingly more and more painful. It was almost unbearable. I thought about what the doctor had told me.
Post-traumatic what? And how would that make it self-defensive? I was oblivious to the world around me as my thoughts flew through my head faster than I could even comprehend them.
Dr. Rallison left the room, saying something about giving us time to talk about what had happened. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to really pay him any attention.
The throbbing became too much. I could no longer concentrate on anything, and my mother's crumpled form laying on me didn't help. Her distraught appearance became too much for me to handle. The crushing pain and guilt took over me and my eyes closed, allowing me to see and feel only the darkness as I left my body in the hospital bed.
reviews, please! tell me what you think! i love to hear what people have to say. and i don't mind constructive criticism as long as your not complete meanies to me.(:
i have half of the story already finished, so reviews will get you chapters quicker. 10 reviews = another chapter by monday. so get to it, REVIEW!!!
please and thank you,
Kayceee!