THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN UPDATED!
Author's Note: Hello everybody. This is my first story, and it's actually a complete novel which I am offereing the first few chatpters for your enjoyment. Be warned. This might not be a regular treatment of tha known characterr...Joker...but believe me, I love the character and tried to do my best to treat him with respect. Second: English is my second language and even though I've tried to check the grammar thoroughly, you might still find some syntatic blunders. MY APOLOGIES FOR THAT. Please feed back me witha all ideas, opinions and corrections so I can learn from my mistakes.
Disclaimer 1: I don't own Batman or any of its related characters. They are all property of DC COMICS and are used here for the sole purpose of entertainment. The only character I own is Michael Garibaldi so hope you guys like him and if you ever use him in any story, please treat him with respect.
Disclaimer 2: Crime is not a pretty profession and Joker is not a saint, so sometimes throughout the story, you will find that there was a need for MATURE LANGUAGE and SITUATIONS. so use your discretion when reading. Some things might not be suitable for very young readers.
That said, please enjoy these chapters...
(IMPORTANT NOTICE. BECAUSE YOU GUYS DESERVE BETTER QUALITY STORY AND SOME OF YOU REQUESTED IT, I GOT MYSELF A BETA READER. SO PLEASE WELCOME WITH A ROUND OF APPLAUSE THE INCREDIBLE...ONE AND ONLY...KICHI...(crowd goes wild). SHE IS GOING TO JOIN ME IN THIS RIDE...NOW...ENJOY...)
Chapter 1: EPIPHANY
The grinning man was sitting at the old wooden table, holding a cigarette in his right hand while attempting to clip some newspaper headlines from the Gotham Gazette on his escape from the Asylum.
"The secret is to stay inside the lines," mumbled the pale figure between giggles trying to neatly trim the edges of the picture he was cutting. "…and outside your cell." Satisfied with his handiwork, he set the picture on a pile on the right hand corner of the desk, and looked through the cracked window pane towards the street. Outside the streetlights timidly quivered in the darkness of the alley and the whistle from the cargo train cut the silence of the night like a dagger, and for this man it was an image that made him smile with glee.
He grabbed his scissors and stabbed the right hand corner of the desk making a deep dent. Four dents preceded that one. Five days and all clear since the day he had abandoned his acrylic cage in Arkham. A new day was starting now…
"Midnight. Good night for hunting bats." he said leaning over the table and resting his long chin on one of his hand while his eyes narrowed as if he was half asleep. "I hope it's not Monday, I hate Mondays."
His hair looked wild and unkempt with long green locks falling in front of his eyes and his face started to show beard stubble of the same green hue against an unnaturally pale complexion. He still wore one of the inmates orange shirts, which he had carefully cut in the front to make it look more like a jacket open exposing his ghostly white chest. There had been little time for anything else. The GCPD was too close on his trail to go shopping for new clothes.
"Bring in the clowns, the killer clowns," said the ghastly figure as he waved his hand high above his head, "because Joker is here." A loud burst of laughter filled the room, a shrilling noise that could make a heart skip a beat or two. "Where are my marbles?" Joker said as he rose from his chair, picked a cigarette from the ashtray on the desk and started to pace the room as if searching for something. "Don't tell me I lost my marbles...
He laughed loudly again and sighed at the sight of disarray the room was with the bed unmade, the floor littered with wrappings, ash, and scattered paper clippings. His cell in Arkham was cleaner than this pigsty and the days of inaction had made him a slob. He was still grinning, like he always did, but there was nothing happy about this grin and his laughter was unnatural, forced. Truth be told, he was bored to death.
Death.
Now, THAT was something that always brought a wide smile to his face, especially when he was the direct cause of it. The grinning man sighed deeply and took a long puff in his cigarette. The smoke escaped through his nostrils like vapor in a chilly winter night. He'd always loved the crimson color of blood, just like his lips. And rigor mortis was for him as beautiful as the large smile on his face. There was no substitute for the unique artistry of a bullet well placed in someone's head. That took talent and he was a very talented man. He giggled maliciously as he sat on the bed which creaked loudly under his weight.
It had been a few days since he had seen someone die or killed someone and he missed all the fun. He took another puff and remembered the dissertations he had offered the psychiatrists at Arkham about the strong resemblance of 20th century postmodern art and the blood patterns left behind after he blew off the attorney general's head in the Gotham Botanical Gardens. Ah, that was a work of art but those idiots at the asylum weren't able to grasp the concept of beauty behind it. They had called it murder, but he preferred to call it divine inspiration. Unappreciative nincompoops.
"Critics, it's always the critics who sweep the floor with your work." He said with a cackle as he flicked the cigarette over the ashtray on the table. "Oh, the tragedy of the common man… they don't understand my genius." The Joker said with melancholy in his voice when he remembered his latest escape from the asylum. That one was another story that almost ended in tragedy. It would have been the greatest blunder of his entire career if that minute amount of venom he had a chance to concoct at the hospital wouldn't have worked its magic on the security guards at the last minute. Better late than never, he thought, but God that was close!
"That's what happens when you buy cheap cleaning products, my dear Dr. Arkham," he said giggling. "Next time let me do the shopping for you." He laughed loudly and the walls resonated with his cackles. Enough wandering around," he said. "Lets get our hands bloody, shall we?—he drew on his cigarette once more. " I need to…"
Hide.
The door creaked behind him and after putting his cigarette away, he rose swiftly tiptoeing to the wall by the door frame. His naked feet making no sound on the carpeted floor. The door opened and a round spectacled face popped into the room. Joker pulled a large army knife from one of the sleeves of his shirt. The face seemed to look around looking for something but did not see the grinning figure holding the large army knife by the door. The head was followed by a plump neck and then by a thickset body that was holding something big in and bulky in his hands.
The man in the shadows kicked the intruder in the groin, and the large object fell to the ground. With a swift move, he pushed the spectacled man against the door frame and placed the army knife firmly against his neck. The grinning man now giggled, he was thrilled with this little game. He felt like a hunter about to strike its prey; a mad hyena about to …
"B-boss?" The figure called softly, his eyes opened wide, pupils dilated. "It's m-me… Michael. Blip. D-Don't y-you recognize m-m-me?"
"If-you-ever creep up on me again, Blip, I'm gonna slice your head off and rip your heart out, is that clear?" His mouth showed a twisted smirk as he let go of the young man. "Didn't your mother teach you to knock before entering?"
"S-sorry boss. I thought y-you might've been asleep or somethin'."
"Sleep like this?" The grinning man waved his arms as if doing some type of demonstration. "You must be kidding me. The Joker can't sleep in a dump like this."
"I know you are not used to this, but it's only temporary until everything calms down. The entire GCPD is still searching for you, sir."
"Calm down, my ass! No pool, no cable, no continental breakfast, and no tours? I'm just gonna to have to kill your travel agent, Blip." Joker said with the army knife dancing happily in his hand. He advanced towards Michael, grinning evilly. "Oh what the hell, I'll kill you too."
"W-What?" answered Blip backing into the wall.
Joker busted in explosive laughter, and Blip could not help but jump backwards. That made the Joker laugh even harder. Joker always succeeded in getting little, chubby Blip off guard every time. It took a moment for him to regain enough composure to be able to speak; his eyes had welled with tears.
"Jeez, can't you take a joke? I'm just messing with you, Blip." Joker sighed. "Now back to my world. I'm bored, did you bring what I asked you?"
"Sure b-boss," said Blip forcing a faint smile as he picked up the bag and contents from the floor in the living room and settled them on the coffee table. Joker followed, hands clasped behind him. Michael pulled the Gotham Gazette and a Looney Toons comic book and settled them down by him while he continued searching the bag. He set all the contents on the table as he took them out of the bag
"I brought you a razor, shaving cream, cigarettes, your special .38J with some ammunition, marble grenades, and some more of your gags. Hey, and look," said Blip pointing to the small chair in the corner of the living room where a neat bundle of yellow, green and purple clothes laid. Joker's eyes followed the pointing fingers. "I was even able to get one of your outfits from the old warehouse."
Joker walked over and grabbed his gun. His chromed .38J, the Joker especial as he liked to call it, was one his proudest creations. It had a green malachite handle with a large engraved letter J on both sides. He pushed a small button on the back of the gun and pulled the trigger. The gun immediately popped a metallic spear displaying a yellow banner with the word BANG in bright blood red letters! Joker smiled wide and pushed the spear back into the gun. He checked the chamber and confirmed that six bullets were loaded. He put the gun back on its holster and went to grab the Gazette when noticed the comic book on top of the newspaper. He grabbed the comic and started to sift through its pages.
Blip smiled. "Ha, I love that Daffy Duck, always trying to annoy the hell out of Bugs, don't you think it's a classic, boss?" Joker gave him a quizzical look, cocked an eyebrow and in a quick motion shredded the comic in itsy bitsy pieces and threw them over Blip like a rain of confetti.
"Why do you need a Daffy Duck when you have a Daffy Me?" He grabbed the Gazette and let himself fall heavily onto the futon. A chain of giggles followed, transforming into a chortle. "That's all, folks! Did you find my little notebook?"
"There was not much left of it sir." Blip said dryly, dusting the pieces of paper from him and setting two sandwiches and two bottles of water on the table. "It must have been burned when the Batman set fire to…" Blip heard a thud and something warm and wet hit him in the lower half of the face startling him. Next thing he knew he was wearing a bacon double cheeseburger all fixings on his shirt and between his legs (and too close for comfort) Joker's Army knife had embedded into the chair.
"Don't-you-ever say that name again in my presence. Next time…well, I'll aim for something vital." In front of him the Joker face glared furiously, his eyes blackened by the shadows of his frowning brow, the smile just a dark sneer. Blip's mouth opened to utter an apology but said nothing at all. It was not healthy to try the boss's temper with the wrong selection of words. Joker softened and a broad smile split his face. "Oh, well, I'll just have to start a new diary. Dr. Arkham told me that it can help me to vent things out, you know. To sort some in things here." He laughed, while pointing to his head with a circular motion signaling the movement of a wheel. "You will need to get me a new notebook next time you go out."
"G-got it s-sir, new notebook." said Blip removing the knife and starting to clean his stained shirt.
The Joker took a quick look at the newspaper and his face filled with glee. "Well look at this headline. FIVE DAYS OUT OF ARKHAM AND NO LEADS ON JOKER'S WHEREABOUTS… POLICE ON MANIAC'S TRAIL… Now, isn't that lovely? Five days and I still make the front page of the Gazette. Gotham city just loves me."
"Yep! And they are going to love you even more when we get back in business." Blip replied taking sip of his water bottle.
Joker gave him another one of those looks. His eyes were on fire, while the paleness of his skin went down several hues "We? This is my city, Blip. MY stage. There is no 'we'. There is only ME. It's all about ME!"
Blip swallowed hard. "That's what I meant, boss, when YOU make the great come back". Joker nodded and smiled. He grabbed his bottle of water and took a long sip. That felt nice. Fresh, clean, cold water was a luxury.
"Have you contacted the rest of the crew lately, kid?" Asked the Joker eyeing the front page where a large picture of himself in full color smiled back at him.
"Almost everybody is accounted for. Four died at hands of the police during the last… incident. There are seven in prison but I have not heard anything from Phil and his gang."
Joker made a disgruntling sound and lowered the newspaper. "How many are we left with?"
"Counting us… and the Terrance gang." Blip swallowed hard "… about ten. But they are all awaiting your orders." "Hm…I hardly have enough for a baseball team...not enough. I need to hire a few times that before I'm ready. You are my PR man, Blip, and you need to learn to think big, like me. Get the word around. I'm back in town and I have some "job openings" to offer because the show must go on. We need muscle and cannon fodder, the works, for an awesome performance in this city. Can you take care of the hiring?"
"I would prefer to just wait a little longer, if you do not mind? I have intercepted some police communications and you are still a hot item. Even you-know-who is after you."
"You are such a cream puff, Blip. Learn to laugh at the odds, even if those odds dress up as a bat at night. I will have a plan within the next few days and I want to be ready to execute as soon as it is revealed to me. That flying mouse is not going to steal my fun again. " 'Eat your brownies while they are hot,'--my grandma always said," Joker piped imitating the voice of an old person followed by a crazy laughter. Blip nodded and smiled back.