The Couple
Have you ever been part of That Couple. No, not The Golden Couple but That Couple. The one that everyone knows would be absolutely perfect for one another but no one will ever admit it so if you ever did get together everyone would be shocked.
Let me tell you it sucks. Let me tell you what it's like. Being That Couple is glances that last a little to long and that awkward flush when you boyfriend catches you but really you didn't do anything wrong so no one has anything to be mad about. It's pinkie fingers touching when all of your friends are at the table and your pulse is speeding up. It's when he picks up his hand he drags it along the back of yours and you know that his best friend saw but won't say anything because there was nothing to see. It's being a natural flirt but not flirting with him because then everyone would see that you're really in love with him. It's texting him any time something goes really bad in your life but never calling because you both are so afraid of crossing that line and killing everyone around you that you stay a million miles away from THAT LINE. It's even though you know that his parents are getting a divorce and he knows that your Dad is gone again and that hurts you neither of you know anything about each other at school.
Then there is the part where the things that don't happen come into play. It's the kisses that don't happen when you trip and he catches you. It's the moment when your hands hover so close that you can feel the heat coming from them but they never connect. It's when you're crying and your hair falls in your face and he reaches up but drops his hands before tucking your hair back and wiping away your tears. It's the text that says "I luv U" that never comes.
The part that really kills you are the moments that come when everyone left the room and unintentionally left the two of alone. God forbid they do it on purpose and more often than not don't do it on purpose but you can't call them on it because they're not doing anything. Those moments when he looks at you and says, "I don't love her as much as I love you."
"Then why don't you leave?" you ask.
"Because…" and that because is enough. It's the same reason that you don't leave him. Because you do both love them, maybe not as much as you love each other but you do love them and you'd never ever hurt them like the two of you getting together would. You know that it would kill them more than if it was anybody else because it's the two of you. Everyone knows about the two of you but nobody ever says anything because there are no words for what everyone knows.
His best friend sticks his head in the room and you know that by the expression on his face they realized they left the two of you alone. "Coming Chad?" he asked in that tone that says we're approaching THAT LINE.
"Yeah." He says as he clenches his jaw and you can see inside his head because you know him that well. He's thinking that this isn't done that the two of you are never done.
"You can come too Sharpay." Troy offers.
"No thanks." I say without offering an explanation. They accept that though because they didn't want me along in the first place. Not because they don't like me but because the further away we are from each other the better.
The worst part about being that couple is when someone does say something and then can't pretend any more. It's when you're faced with the reality that you love him and there is nothing you can do about it. That you'll marry someone else and so will he because to be together would kill them.
He looks at me and I look at him and time seems to stand still. Troy clears his throat letting us know we're standing on that line now. I know this is it…and I'm holding my breath because I'm waiting for my heart to break one last time. "Come with us." He begs.
"Taylor's waiting." Troy says casually like he's not trying to bring us back to reality and reminding us what we'd being giving up. Yet really there's nothing wrong or inappropriate about the conversation he's over heard he just knows.
"I got other stuff to do." I say as I look away. He leaves then with Troy and I know nothing will ever be said. I sink to the floor with no one to blame but me as I sob out my broken heart. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out. It's a text from him, "I luv U." I saw my life flash before my eyes then and the two choices I had. To marry and have him as my affair or throw caution to the wind. Standing up I ran to the door and threw it open, "Chad!" I called.
He turned around, he stilled had his closed phone in his hand. Troy and my brother turned around. I could see Ryan's expression. His eyes were narrow and his lips were pursed, he knew what I was about to do and he doesn't approve. He turns around, "Yeah?
Face with the disapproval of our friends I found I couldn't go through with it. "Never mind." I say and turn back into the theater. I sunk down against the seats and tried not to cry.
"Please don't cry." I look up and met his gaze and I know that he left them standing in the hallway knowing what would happen. He reaches down and wraps his hands around my arms and hauls me to my feet. We never break eye contact as he leans in and kisses me.
It's all the fire and pain that we've been denying all these years. I feel like I'm going to burst as I wrap my legs around him making him the only thing that's holding me up. Because he is, we're everything to each other, always have been.
"Not here, please." A voice interrupts us.
We turn to see Ryan and Troy standing in the door way, "Not now, not here. Don't cheat." Troy says.
"Troy…" Chad starts but Troy cuts him off.
"If you cheat you'll never work out. It's gonna hurt but isn't that why you tried so hard to not?" We know he's right so we let go and step away. I look at him, I take it back what we're about to do is the hardest part of being That Couple. And after, after they've been told and we're laying in my room in my apartment we'll have to redefine ourselves and that will be the hardest part of what ever we are then.