AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the first chapter of a detective story but I think this chapter can be read as a stand-alone story. Angst/Friendship. Lynley/Havers.

When Lynley had called Barbara back after the roller-derby match, he immediately had felt that something was wrong. Barbara's voice was hoarse, veiled. From the sound of it Lynley had knew that his sergeant (he would have fiercely denied referring to Havers as HIS sergeant, but nobody was listening to his inner thoughts, right?) his sergeant was trying as hard as she could to hold her tears back. She had tried to convince him that she was OK, that she would see him the morning after at the Met, that she just needed some sleep, Lynley knew her too well to be fooled. So he had driven Denton back to Eaton Terrace and had gone to her house to learn first-hand what had happened. In Chalk Farm, he had gone round the big yellow house that had been turned into flats and walked rapidly to Barbara's small cottage. He could see the lights were still on inside. Barbara wasn't asleep. He rang at the door.

Her fit of rage in the shower had left Barbara Havers completely drained. After having dried herself and admitted that she had not only ruined her new haircut but had compromised all chance to appear with neatly done hair for some months, she had gone to see Azhar. She didn't know what to tell him but her neighbour, her friend, needed support. She had found him sleeping out of exhaustion in his bedroom, curled up upon the bed, his head resting on his arm. She'd been to Haddiyyah's bedroom to retrieve the blanket on the little girl's bed and covered Azhar with it. She had turned off the lighst and had slipped outside the flat. She had returned to her place shivering. She was exhausted physical and emotionally and the night was chilling. The small electric fire in the single room of her bungalow was bravely fighting against the cold but, despite the warmth in the room Barbara felt frozen inside. She felt more depressed than she had ever been. She tumbled more than sat down on the couch and started to sob. The sound of the doorbell made her jump. Who could it be? Azhar? She wrapped the old blanket covering the couch around her and dragged herself to the front door she opened while sweeping away the tears rolling on her cheeks with the back of her hand.

- Sir?!

- Havers! Good Lord, what happened?

Lynley was standing in front of her. His face went white with stupor at the sight of his sergeant disheveled and in tears but Barbara didn't notice. All she did notice was that he was here. Without thinking, without even realizing what she was doing Barbara rushed into his arms.

- Barbara? Barbara?!

Lynley was stunned by Barbara's reaction. She, who had always made it a point of honour to stand up to everything on her own, had totally surrendered. Lynley thought that she must had received quite a shock to behave this way. She was holding him tight with all her forces as if he were the last tangible thing in the world, her head buried in the lapel of his cashmere coat.

Lynley put his arms around the young woman, rest his cheek on the top of her head and tried to soothe her like one cradles a child.

- Shhh…Barbara. It's OK now. I'm here. Shhhh…

- She's gone! She's gone and she took her! She fooled us all! She told me…she told me she was my friend…Rubbish! She took me in! Didn't see anything coming and now it's too late. What a dope! I'm so useless! So bloody stupid!

- Barbara! Raising his voice Lynley ended his embrace, clutched at her shoulders and fixed his gaze into Barbara's eyes. Stop it! I don't understand a thing of what you're telling me but I cannot let you speak like that.

-That…That's true sir…, Barbara hiccupped with sobs in her voice. I'm stupid…I believed all her lies. Her bloody advice on fashion. Her damn opinion on the hair-cut I should get. As if she cared about me! As if we could be friends! We had nothing in common. What the hell was I thinking? That was written all along but I swallowed it all, hook, line and sinker!

-Who are you talking about?

All of a sudden Barbara realized that Lynley knew nothing of what had happened. She needed to explain the situation first. And this would mean thinking about it once again when she would have given everything to forget. She swallowed hard and fixing her eyes on the ground near Lynley's left foot, she began her explanations.

"My little neighbour, Hadiyyah…

- The little girl you saved in Essex.

- Yeah…, Barbara muttered, uneasy. She had no regret about what she had done onboard that boat on the North Sea, to tell the whole truth she had not regretted it even when she had been demoted and thought she had lost Lynley's friendship. But Barbara didn't have fond memories of that time and she didn't like to think about it. That's her. Her mother snatched her.

- Come. Lynley put his arm around her shoulders and guided her inside the house. He pulled up a chair for her to sit at the table standing near the window and went to the kitchen. He put the kettle on, washed and dried a mug he found in the sink and unearthed a tea bag and some sugar in a cupboard. There was a bottle of milk in the fridge and he was sniffing its content suspiciously when the kettle clicked off. He placed the tea mug in front of his partner and pulling another chair out from the table sat facing her.

Barbara pressed her hands around the mug and looked like she could find some solace from the warmth passing on to her palms. She went on with a steadier voice:

- When I moved in here, Hadi was alone with her father. Her mother was gone, officially on holidays to Canada, in fact off with some bloke. She came back some months ago, apparently for good, all smile, living-happily-forever-after if you see what I mean, sir. Hadiyyah was so happy to see her mother again. We got on well. She tipped me off about clothes, hairdo…Like mates do. But she was pretending. She deceived us all and now she has taken her daughter. Azhar is devastated. He hasn't got a clue where they might be. There's sod we can do.

- Her father can lodge a complaint. He's some rights over her, too.

- Actually no, he hasn't. No paper, no mention of him on Hadiyyah' s birth certificate, nothing. Barbara went on to explain Azhar's status, how he had left his first wife without divorcing her, which had prevented him to marry Hadi's mother, and how he didn't appear on his daughter's papers. Barbara ended the story, looking very tired: So you see, he has no right over her. Nothing. Sod-all. Only his huge, unconditional love for his daughter but the courts don't give a damn about that.

- Where is he now? Lynley asked.

- At home. Sleeping. In the end he just crashed on his bed. Went to see him after I phoned you but I didn't have the heart to wake him up.

- You did well, Barbara. He'll wake up soon enough to find his worst nightmare has become reality.

In the sudden silence Barbara felt the presence of a ghost, whom she would have sworn it, had the brown hair and smile of Helen Lynley. She cursed herself for having called Lynley. Surely he didn't need to be confronted with the distress of a man who had just lost everything he loved. Lynley had lost his wife and his unborn son, and even if he was getting better the pain was still there without her reopening his wound.

- Oh shit…Sir. I'm sorry…I shouldn't have called you.

Lynley frowned at her questioningly and then he realized what she was talking about. He put his hand over Barbara's wrist and smiled slightly.

- I'm fine, Barbara. Don't worry about me when you're the one who needs support.

Barbara met his eyes and smiled back at him.

-'Ta, sir.

- That's Tommy, Lynley replied, his hand still resting on the woman's wrist, his eyes locked inside hers.

- Sir, retorted Barbara holding his gaze, a thin smile on her lips.

Lynley squeezed Barbara's wrist.

- Tommy.

Barbara's smile grew wider.

- Sir.

- Tommy! Lynley frowned at her, trying to look threatening but his eyes told otherwise. That's Tommy tonight, right?

- Yes, Sir! Barbara shouted out, a mischievous twinkle in her reddened eyes.

Good Lord, Lynley thought, she almost jumped on her feet to salute me.

They looked defiantly at each other for a few seconds before surrendering in a laugh.

- What have I done to end up with such a partner?

- My old man always told me you get what you deserve, sir.

- The same to you, Barbara.

- Ta, sir. I didn't think I was worth an eminent member of the landed gentry, Barbara teased him.

- You're worth more than the entire House of Lords, Barbara. Lynley was suddenly serious; there was no trace of irony in his voice. As much as Barbara's trademark stubbornness, her profound aversion to hierarchy and her genuine disdain of aristocracy irritated Lynley, as much he admired her ability to keep her objectivity under all circumstances, her sharp mind and her no-nonsense behaviour. Not to mention her big heart.

Barbara broke visual contact. They were on slippery ground here and Barbara didn't like the way the conversation was turning. She would have been perfectly happy with the usual banter. What was Lynley thinking telling her that? She took a sip of her tea and forced herself to look at the man in front of her.

- It's becoming late, sir. I've already spoiled most of your evening. You should go home.

- Don't worry about that. Denton doesn't need my company. You've had something to eat, Barbara?

- Er, no. I've been rather busy, you see…

- I wouldn't say no to a bite myself. Let's see what we can find to have a good feed. Lynley got up and opened the fridge. He gave a puzzled look at a cold dish of meat and some leftovers of…of what, good Lord? Was there anything edible left among the salmonellae? Closing the fridge, he said over his shoulder: Right then, and what about having something delivered here? You fancy something? Indian, Chinese, pizza? Make your choice, my treat.

They've ordered Indian food finally and after diner they sat on the couch for a nightcap. Barbara was feeling fine. She knew this feeling wouldn't last long, that reality would catch up with her first thing in the morning but right now she wanted to savour the moment because the future would be hard and bleak without Haddiyah. She would do everything possible to find the girl and bring her home to her father but Barbara was well aware that this would be very difficult and that she would have to overcome many obstacles and for the moment she didn't want to give too much a thought about all this. She was listening to Lynley who was talking about Cornwall, about an endemic orchid a botanist had discovered in a remote valley of Howenstow, about his mother's project to protect the site. As fatigue sank in, Barbara took less and less part in the conversation, contenting herself to listening to Lynley's soft baritone. She resisted the ever growing drowsiness with all her willpower because, for the first time in what looked like a million years, and although her world was crumbling right before her eyes, she was at peace with herself. There she was, in the middle of the night, alone at home with a man, her superior, a bloody Lord, aristocratic to his fingertips yet she felt at ease and she relished that feeling and didn't want it to end. Finally she couldn't resist slumber anymore and felt asleep her head against the back of the couch. Lynley took away the glass she was still holding in her hand and put it on the table where the leftovers of their diner were now completely cold. He looked at Barbara wondering what the best thing to do was. He wasn't so sure about staying here, prolonging this moment of intimacy they've just shared seemed a bit risky but on the other hand he couldn't bring himself to leave now that she was asleep, he would have felt like those bastards who wait for their one-night partner to fall asleep before running away. No, there was no way he could leave her. He turned all the lights off but the small reading lamp next to the couch. Very slowly, taking extra care not to awake her, he turned Barbara around so her legs were now on the couch. Then he sat down next to her and made her lie down with her head on his right thigh. He covered Barbara with the blanket, gently ran his fingers in her hair, let out a sigh at how she'd ruined her nice haircut and whispering "Good night, Barbara. Sweet dreams" he turned the light off.