A/N: This is for all you fangirls out there. HYUKHYUK
"What is happening right now?" wondered Marinette, while she was trapped in a very dark room with all her classmates, and some other adults.
A single spotlight, not a very convenient one, shone down on a stage. The inhabitants held their breaths curious what was going to happen next.
A somewhat tall Asian girl wearing a hoodie and jeans walked into the spotlight with a smile on her face. Though the smile seemed innocent enough, Marinette knew the girl had something horrible in store for them.
"Welcome, fictional characters, to your casual screening and very cliche story of a little TV show called, Miraculous Ladybug." the Asian girl said.
So it was going to be one of THOSE kinds of days. Marinette and Adrien cringed, like hardcore Jungkook talking to girls cringing, knowing their secrets would soon be revealed. Alya on the other hand seemed to be fangirling in her seat, ready to see who Ladybugs was and probably record this so she could tell the whole world. Everyone else seemed preeeetty excited too.
"I will have to warn you...I may have screwed around with the episodes a bit to make them more enjoyable...mostly for myself. You'll see what I mean. Don't expect continuity." the girl said.
"Just hurry up and start playing the video so I can see my beautiful face." Chloe said (ungodly screeched).
"Yeah yeah shut up you racist fuck." the girl, who should be mentioned is Jeenius, casually waved off.
Most people were liking Jeenius already...just not her choice of words.
Alya (from a video): Don't blink now, 'cause we are live from Paris. Yo peeps, Alya here, bringing you the one and only Ladyblog.(Helicopter noises) Huh? What is that? (Ladybug flies by, hanging on to her yo-yo, tied to a helicopter. She drops a book). Ladybug in action. Hang on 'cause we're going for a ride. (Alya runs over and picks up the book). Freak out! What you got here is no ordinary book, it's a tenth grade history book. And I should know, 'cause I've got this very same book. Could our very own Ladybug be a high school student, in real life? Whoa!
"I am the best vlogger ever." whispered Alya, with her eyes shining. The OOCness was already coming out of her at full speed - meaning this was definitely one of Jeenius' stories.
If Marinette knew herself, which she did, that could only mean one thing. Her secret was about to be revealed in a second.
"Hey guys Ladybug's gonna be revealed in a second." Jeenius yelled, giving off a sober Gamzee-esque smile.
This girl was an asshole.
Marinette: I told you from day one Tikki, I'm a total klutz!
At that moment, whatever the kwami replied was left unknown because everyone was shrieking in either happiness (or agony in Chloe's case). Marinette was LADYBUG?! The fuck is happening in this universe? How was that clumsy weirdo the superhero of Paris.
Well actually in the long run it made sense, because she was for the most part a really nice person. Also it just occurred to Adrien that Ladybug smelled like baked goods...a lot. Wow that made a lot more sense actually.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE LADYBUG?!" Alya yelled, spazzing off her chair onto the floor.
"Uh...for your safety..sure. That's it. That's why. Because every superhero has to have a secret identity to protect the people they care about." Marinette unsurely replied. Because that's not the biggest fucking superhero cliche in the world.
"Why do you get to be Ladybug! I am so much better than you!" Chloe yelled.
Before anyone could kill Chloe, a gunshot rang out through the theater, leaving a second small spotlight on the stage. Jeenius was back in the larger spotlight with a gun in her hand pointed to the ceiling. She looked very disappointed and annoyed for a moment, before shifting her attention to the random gun. She threw the weapon off into a corner, knowing she probably wouldn't need it later.
"Everyone shut the fuck up and watch the fucking show. If you have comments whatever but I had to endure this massive bullshit for the purpose of this story so you have to listen to. Also. Chloe. Shut the fuck up. No one cares." Jeenius said, in a very harsh tone.
"You can't speak to me that way. I'm the mayor's daughter!" Chloe said.
"Neither Dave or the Mayor would ever stoop that low. So shut up."
(Jalil runs between Alya and Marinette carrying a folder full of papers. He pushes through them and trips over. His medallion falls, he picks it.)
Jalil: It's not broken!
Alya: Uh, I'm ok too, thanks for asking.
Jalil: I'm sorry, hey you're in the same grade as Alix, right? I'm her older brother, Jalil Kubdel. So you're into Tutankhamun too? (looks up) Dad!
Alya: Weird. So again girl, why are we here? This exhibit's got something to do with Ladybug? For reals?
Marinette: Well– (she looks at Tikki in her purse. Tikki points at an egyptian papyrus)
The video is suddenly cut off by a skeleton wearing a scarf laughing, "NYEHEHEHE! I AM THE GRRRREAT PAPYRUS, FUTURE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD! HOLY FUCKING SHIT SANS IS THAT A HOOMAN?"
No one really knew how to react to this.
With no context being given, the scene changes to Adrien's room.
"Get ready to meet Cat Noir." Jeenius said, in a horrible attempt to copy the Papyrus voice.
Alya (from video): Hang on, 'cause we're going for a ride. Freak out! What you got here is no ordinary book, it's a tenth grade history book. And I should know, 'cause I've got this very same book. Could our very own Ladybug be a high school student, in real life?
Adrien: That's crazy! What are the odds that we have the same textbook? Maybe we even go to the same school!
Plagg: Don't you think you know her then? (eats his cheese) Why bother yourself with ladies when you could be enjoying this?
Another bout of ungodly screeching fills the theater, this time with the knowledge of who Cat Noir is.
This one is much shorter than Ladybug's yells, causing Adrien to frown slightly. Did people like him less than Ladybug.
Marinette fainted, upon realizing she had rejected, been flirted at by, and kissed Adrien without knowing.
Jalil: Then you also know that Tutankhamun wanted to bring his princess back to life, by offering the sun god a new wife. This seemed to illustrate the ritual he devised. Nobody has ever fully deciphered the hieroglyphics, but I have! It's a magic chant that needs to be recited in order to complete the ritual! I'm sure of it!
"What?" was the consensus, among them hey could hear Jeenius, who clearly had no idea what was going on either.
Marinette: He kinda reminds me of someone else with crazy ideas. You!
Alya: Hmph. You might think my theories about Ladybug are crazy, but you watch, girl, I'll prove you wrong.
"But that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY!" the voice of MatPat suddenly yelled. No one knew where it came from, or who he was for that matter.
Good.
Mr. Kubdel: Jalil, these types of frescoes are almost always the illustration for a legend. They called it a legend for a reason...
Jalil: That's what everyone thinks. But I know it's real. I can prove it!
Mr. Kubdel: Really? Exactly how are you going to prove it?
Jalil: I just need to get my hands on Tutankhamun's scepter and recite the spell!
Mr. Kubdel: Are you serious? Don't even think of touching that scepter. I'd lose my job on the spot. It's a priceless historical object! Not a toy!
Jalil: Come on, dad! We have to try out the spell! What if Tutankhamun had found out how to bring people back to life?
Mr. Kubdel: Listen, Jalil! That's enough! Get your head out of those papyrus ( The skeleton's head returned with a whispered Nyehehe) scrolls and focus on the real world! This one! (leaves)
"Dude. You're dad's an asshole." Kim said.
"You have a girl's name." Alex replied.
"That's because everyone screws up and calls my last name the first name. My actual name is Joongi." Kim replied. (Totally didn't just take Namjoon and squash it into Yoongi.)
And thus the headcannons were made. After all, this kid DID look like he was supposed to be Korean.
Scene: Hawk Moth's lair.
Hawk Moth: There's nothing wrong with living out a fantasy. Especially when I can make it a reality. (turns a butterfly into an akuma) Fly away, my evil akuma, and transform that young man!
"This guy's weird." some random person I don't feel like actually identifiying said.
Jeenius was not listening. She was watching BTS's Bapsae dance practice video and drooling over their beauty.
Adrien did not notice that this man both looked and sounded like his father because he is an oblivious idiot.
Scene: Louvre. Marinette and Alya are still on the exhibition. Marinette tries to figure out what the hieroglyphics on the papyrus say.
For the record. It says: WHAT? UNDYNE I'M NOT FIXING YOU WINDOW ANYMORE. I HOPE YOU STEP ON THE GLASS!
Marinette: Uhhh... Ahhh...
Alya; (yawns) (takes the history book off her back)
Marinette: Gah! Put that down! I'm gonna show you the secret I found out about Ladybug!
"I smell lies." Chloe whispered, trying to sound like the snake she is.
"...dude. She is literally Ladybug." Nino said.
You make a very compelling point, Nino.
Thank you Nino.
Alya: Bout time. This better be blog-worthy.
"Alya is literally the embodiment of tumblr users." Jeenius randomly threw in.
"I agree with the ugly girl!" Chloe said.
"Bitch where?" Jeenius asked.
"Uh. You're the only one I'm talking to." Chloe replied.
Then. She died.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
SANS! What have I told you about plaguing my mixtapes with shitty cartoons?
sorry not sorry, papyrus.
The end.