I've seen things you people wouldn't believe...All those moments...will be lost...in time...like...tears...in the rain.
Roy Batty, Blade Runner
Tears
You are crying.
It's been awhile since you cried. Not that you've been without reason to, what with a new one coming practically every day, yet also serving as a repeat of former ones. But you have to be strong. Both for yourself, your husband and the one who means even more to you than James.
Yet you cry. And all because James has yet to walk through the door.
You tell yourself to pull together. Thrice has the Dark Lord been defied by you and your family, and with the Fidelius Charm protecting you, with any luck, there won't be a fourth. You chose this life, you chose your allegiance and you can damn well choose to pull yourself together.
Of course, choosing to do something isn't the same as actually carrying it out.
You try to stop thinking about James, to think about something or someone that isn't caught up in the middle of the Wizarding War. Still, just like crying, that isn't easy either. Turning your attention away from James, or even Harry is one thing, but to actually think of someone or something not caught up in chaos, terror and despair...well, that's something else. Something that you're unable to accomplish.
Eventually your train of thought leads back to James. Platform nine and three quarters all over again.
Less than five years ago, you couldn't imagine yourself in this position, couldn't imagine yourself giving a damn about the arrogant prat. But now, you can't imagine life without him. His laughter, his jokes, even his occasional lapses into bragging...claims that were once more painful to listen to than a screaming mandrake have become endearing. And right now, in the silence of Godric's Hollow, you'd give anything to listen to yet another story of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team winning the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup.
Was it wrong, to follow this life you wonder? Not just bringing a child into the world that's at risk with no way to defend himself, but to risk everything to gain everything? James and Harry are the world to you, but you cannot deny that your world has become more dangerous than you once envisaged.
The fire has died and you are still crying. Crying that your son might not live long enough to grow, or that he might do so but you won't be there to see it. You cry that you effectively have no living relatives, no-one of family that could (or in Petunia's case, would) take the time to understand what you're going through. And even when the one person who can, who will understand finally walks through the door, you still cry.
He doesn't say anything. Maybe it's because there's no appointed time that one has to return home in Godric's Hollow in October and that he has nothing to apologize for whatsoever. Maybe it's because he knows that there's something wrong and he's able to appreciate that talking might not be the best thing in the world to do. Or maybe it's because you've thrown your arms around him and not given him the chance to talk, so relieved that he's finally come home.
Some things don't need saying after all.
A/N
This is the result of a request for a JamesxLily story, one that I can't say I'm that comfortable with. Hard to say why, but I find it difficult to write for the canon characters in Harry Potter, in part because I feel I can't do them justice. Harry's parents aren't an exception I'm afraid.