To Fear or not to Fear

They say fear can be your worst enemy. Why not take a leap of faith, and face it, once and for all?

This is not what it seems at first.

A special thanks to Starky's Strut for the Beta-reading :-).

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I am not ready for this, I swear to God.

But it seems I have no choice. They are all waiting for me. Extending a hand. Encouraging me to follow them. But right now, I can't move an inch, I don't wanna move at all! I'm paralyzed. This is not my time. Not now, nor never! You got the wrong man. Could you please let me be now?

I can hear the voices, calling me to go forward.

One of them sounds familiar. I know down deep inside I can trust that one. I sort of focus on it as it speaks to me, insisting, begging, pleading that I follow. How can I resist? It's the voice of a little angel. I can feel my hand being held and I feel my body being pulled forward. I have no choice but to go along. I breathe heavily, trying not to lose control. But, I know it's already too late!

I soon find myself trapped, attached, unable to escape.

And all of a sudden, the world starts to spiral around me. I feel dizzy. I can't see the lights anymore. It's all a blur. Inside and outside my head. I close my eyes. I try to open them again. Yet I'm so afraid of what I'm gonna see. Right now, I just want my normal life back.

I can feel a very soft hand taking mine, comfort words being spoken, but I can't make anything of it. My mind is a void. There is just one strong feeling of survival. I'm forty-five and I don't wanna die just yet.

I can feel my heart pounding so hard in my chest. Maybe if I hold my breath for a moment, the nausea will pass. I'm afraid. For the first time, I confess, I am scared to death.

I have heard so many stories on the way to go through such a turmoil. But frankly, I don't know whether I'm good at this. I have no control on what's happening. I am sucked up in an endless movement towards a big light.

I can see the earth moving away from me, with everything I used to cherish most being pulled away, my body now seems to be floating. I feel so light, like a feather, or a cloud, or an angel's wing... Is this what it's like to be in Heaven?

You know what? I feel more relaxed now. No dizziness anymore. I can breathe. I feel like I'm being reborn. I made it through and the voices are still there.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know the end is near. I'm not afraid anymore. I made it.

I want to stand up and walk. My legs feel like cotton. I don't want to walk. I want to fly!

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"Are you OK?"

I open my eyes and I slowly turn my head. I can see the little angel sitting next to me, holding my hand. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Gee, Dad, that was great!"

"Yeah, it surely was."

"Can we go for a second round?"

I look at him, he is all smiles. "Why not?"

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Starsky stands next to a hamburger shop with Huggy, watching his shaky partner coming down from the rollercoaster car. He smiles at the sight and the idea that Hutch may have enjoyed his ride after all, finally parting with his fear of heights. All thanks to his partner's young son's persuasion along with some advice on how to drag his dad onto the coaster from his godfather, who is devouring his second hamburger.