Hi! So I decided to wirte a Bellarke one-shot, maybe I'll continue it but I'm not sure now. English is not my first language, so tell me about any mistakes. Enjoy!
She ran as fast as she could, yet still careful to not make any sound by stepping some stick or anything else. She just spotted few Grounders not so far away from where she has been hunting, so she decided to escape, to avoid any confrontaction.
The Grounders she saw were from Lexa's tribe, or at least she recognized them this way because of their appearance. And, after Lexa's betrayal, seeing her or anyone who could drag Clarke to her, was the last thing she would ever want. That's why she ran.
After few minutes, she had finally reached the bunker she has been hiding in for last two weeks since she left her camp, Camp Jaha. The bunker was situated about fifteen minutes of walking from their old dropship. No one from her friends knew about it, she just spotted it randomly. Since then, she was living there.
Sometimes she wondered why she didn't go to any place that's far away from her camp. Maybe she was just not strong enough to let go, so she stayed somewhere near. No one would go looking for her anyway, so there was no problem. And maybe one day she will leave this place and go somewhere else, somewhere where the past won't finally haunt her.
Only she knew that it will never stop haunting her. Even if her hands were clean, she could still see the blood on them. Every single time she closed her eyes, she would see the faces of all the people she had killed. It would never leave her alone.
She missed her friends, the remainings of the hundred of them. They were on her mind almost all the time. How were they? How is the camp? She wished she could see them again, but she knew it would only make things worse. And maybe it was selfish, that she left them there alone. But she trusted, that Bellamy will take good care of all of them. She knew he would, because he cared about all of them the way she did.
And she missed Bellamy as well. The way he would always somehow support her, the way she could talk to him. But she was afraid that - if she stayed - she would destroy him, as she always does with everyone she cares about.
She sat on her bed as she ate what she considered as a dinner. It was just a small piece of meat and a few berries, but that should be enough for this moment. She will worry about it later. After she finished, she layed down on a blanked that had to serve her as a bed.
She avoided sleep as much as she could, because there were always nightmares haunting her. She wanted to get rid of them, but she knew that it was impossble. Even though she slept only for a few hours once or twice a week, it was still terrible.
And now, as she layed down, she just couldn't help but close her eyes and drift into sleep, even if she really didn't want to do so.
Whispers. So many whispers around her.
Voices, that go everywhere with her.
Eyes, staring at her, letting her know, that she is not alone in this moment.
She was surrounded by people. Some of them were Grounders, some of them were Mountain Man.
She killed them.
Every single one of them.
"It's your fault" she heard.
"Everything is your fault."
"You don't deserve forgiveness."
Then, she saw Finn, coming to her, looking straight at her.
"You killed me" he said, his voice filled with hatred. "You killed me" he repeated.
"You killed all of us!"
"It's your fault, all of this is your fault!"
"You don't deserve to live!"
She fell to her knees, wanting to scream, but no sound escaped her mounth. Instead, hundreds of voices pierced through her head.
In this moment, all she wanted was to die.
She woke up screaming, her skin covered with sweat. She tried to regulate her breathing as she sat up, still in the shock after another nightmare. Each one of them was worse then last, nothing got better.
Clarke brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She closed her eyes and hid her face in her knees, feeling the tears fill her eyes. She had let herself cry, the sobs shaking her body violently.
She was completely alone, and nothing could help it.
Bellamy Blake should be happy. Really, he should.
He and the remainings of the hundred were in the Camp Jaha now. They won, the fight was over, there were no Reapers or Mountain Man to kill them, and the Grounders were nowhere to be seen - at least for now. Live wjust continued, everyone seemed to be happy.
Except from him, though he should be happy too. He managed to keep almost half of his people alive, he had his friends with him, his sister was okay.
But there was only one person missing. Clarke.
When she left, he realized how much he cared about her. How much he wanted her to be next to him. He understood why she had to left, but he still thought, that she didn't have to do it alone. They could fight their demons together. But she needed to be alone, to isolate herself, and he respected her decision. Even though he missed her as hell.
May we meet again. He considered these words as some kind of promise that one day she will come back. That he will see her again sometime. And he knew one thing - he would always wait for her.
Take care of them for me. He did, he did what she asked him for. He expanded their camp, starting from making the med bay bigger. And he always checked if his- if their people were okay. He wanted to keep his promise, so when she will come back, she will see that everything is better than it used to be.
But, still, he missed her every single day. He needed someone who understood him the way only she did. He wanted to have her near, to be able to talk to her anytime.
And he knew that she was broken, but he felt like that as well. Maybe, together, they could somehow mend each other, heal their wounds.
Sometimes, even though he was surrounded by so many people, he felt alone. He felt alone, because there was just one person missing from his life. The person that right now he needed the most.