How to Take Care of Small Animals

If her momma were the gossiping kind, and if she and Jessica still had their little talks (or if she even remembered that she had a little girl who wasn't human any more, for that matter), Jessica knew what quiet, nasty things she would have to say about Pam of Fangtasia.

Pam, who couldn't stand kids - human or vampire.

Who didn't have a maternal bone in her body. Whose insides were probably all twisted up with salt and poison. Who would never have a normal, living child.

Well, fuck her.

Fuck. Her. Her momma and Mrs. Fortenberry, fuck 'em both. Fuckers.

Jessica hit the living room wall of Vampire Bill's house with each curse, like some creature rattling on the door of her cage. Slam. Slam-slam.

It made such a noise, she didn't realise that the children were awake and had come downstairs (and only Bill would think it was appropriate to leave her in charge of minors), until she turned around, eyes all sticky and weepy and red, and saw Coby and Lisa staring at her, still wearing the oversized t-shirts that they'd been put to bed in. (There was one more thing they had in common: they'd all borrowed clothes that had come out of Sookie Stackhouse's wardrobe.)

'Um...' Jessica stammered, waiting for them to scream or be grossed out or something, but Coby was sticking his neck forward as if he wanted to get a closer look, and Lisa had on her face an all too familiar expression of disapproval.

'We were trying,' said Lisa, sternly, 'to get to sleep.'

Jessica blinked. 'Oh, gracious, I'm sor-'

'Are you a vampire too?' interrupted Coby. 'Where do you sleep?'

'I...I'm not sure I'm supposed to tell you.' Jessica stepped around them toward the kitchen (which held a fridge, and a microwave, and that was it; unlike his bathroom, Bill's kitchen sucked), careful not to turn her back on the little mites.

Coby, sensing weakness, scrunched up his sleep-flushed face in hurt and misery. 'Pretty, pretty please!'

'I'm hungry,' said Lisa, stiffly. 'Vampire Bill had crackers last time he and Aunt Sookie babysat us. Can you make me a cheese melt?'

'Jeez louise!' In the next room, Coby had just found the Wii.

Pam was right. Kids ought to be put down.

THE END

13 September 2009