~ Obligations ~
End Game Spoilers. Takes place no time in-particular but after getting Tatsu and before the end of the game.
Cross rolled over in his sleep, his body sprawled out on one of the couches in the barracks he had so kindly been invited to stay in. The couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep but it was better than the floor and he absolutely refused to take Elma or Lin's bed. Tatsu was wrapped up in a blanket across from Cross.
The team had gone through a bit of a tough day before, having some trouble with mob of Indegins that had ambushed them. They returned with more than a few scratches and bite marks. After Lin had bandaged him up, Cross didn't care where he lied down as long as he could sleep. So he flopped down on the couch and was out in seconds.
Lin had found a blanket and gently draped it over him before scolding Tatsu who demanded she get him one as well. In the end the poor Nopon was left to try and climb the shelves of the closet to reach the fluffiest blanket on the top shelf. He had almost fallen as he pulled the blanket out, but was lucky to be caught by Elma, who had been passing by. With a gentle smile she wrapped Tatsu up in his blanket and set him on the couch to sleep, thanking him for his help today.
Elma loved her team, even Tatsu who provided little use in combat still found ways to make himself useful. He, Lin, and Cross were like family to her, and she feared she had grown too attached. Her last team had died in the field and it had absolutely devastated the commander, sending her spiraling into depression. She had lost so much. She swore to herself she would die before she let anything take her friends again.
Elma's gentle footsteps could be heard as she crept into the room where Cross and Tatsu were asleep. She was in her sleeping attire: a limited tank top Cross had given her as a gift and her underwear. She smiled to herself as Tatsu murmured in his sleep, probably having a nightmare of Lin cooking him. She moved to the fridge and gently opened it, pulling out a bottle of water. As she drank she noticed Cross's arm hanging lazily off the couch, the back of his hand resting on the floor. The woman quietly took a few steps closer, she bent down and gently lifted his arm back onto the couch, covering it with his blanket. After briefly checking to be sure she hadn't woken him, she stood back up and took another swig of her water.
"Gah!"
Elma jumped slightly as Tatsu let out a yelp as he woke up from his dream. She checked to see Cross was still asleep before turning to Tatsu, putting her finger to her lips.
"Bad dream?" She whispered, to which Tatsu nodded. She'd have to tell Lin not to traumatize him as much.
"Linly chop up Tatsu to see if he normal potato or sweet potato," he murmured quietly. It was then that he realized that Elma seem a little off. "Elma feeling alright?" He asked her as he tilted his head. He shook his blanket off.
Elma, who had been looking at Cross again, turned away and walked back toward the fridge. "I'm fine, Tatsu," she murmured, opening the fridge and placing the water bottle back inside. "Just thinking."
Tatsu hopped from his place on the couch and waddled over to Elma. "Tatsu know that voice," he said. "Something troubling Elma."
The woman closed the door to the fridge and looked down at the little Nopon. "It's nothing to worry about, Tatsu," she explained. "It's nothing important, I'll be alright."
Tatsu frowned and shook his body. "Elma tell Tatsu everything! Tatsu promise on Nopon honor he keep secret." He did a salute. But Elma was persistent in not saying anything. "Tatsu even offer secret of his own!" Elma wasn't sure if Tatsu was genuinely concerned for her or if his curiosity was purely what drove him.
She looked over at Cross, who was still passed out. His hand had fallen off the couch and onto the floor again. Tatsu glanced over there as well. "Does it have to do with Cross?"
At this point Elma sighed in defeat, leaning against the wall. She slid down to a sitting position on the floor to be at Tatsu's level. "I used to know him," she murmured, lowering her voice further. "Before he lost his memory."
Tatsu gasped. "And Cross doesn't remember Elma?" To this the woman nodded her head. Tatsu could see the pain in her eyes as she answered. The Nopon turned his gaze down to the floor, unsure of what to say. Where was Lin to make make a food joke to break the tension when he needed her? "But... But Cross may remember some day that Elma his friend," he tried to assure her, climbing up into her lap. "Some memories already come back."
Elma smiled gently and stroked Tatsu's head. "I wake up every morning, anxious to see if his memory of me miraculously returned," her gaze again turned towards him. "But it never does."
Tatsu scratched his head. "Cross and Elma were close?" He asked.
Elma smirked and looked at Tatsu. "I think that's quite enough of my secret, I want to hear your's."
...
Tatsu gave her a blank stare, as if he didn't know what she was talking about. "Oh, ehhh," Tatsu was making it apparent he actually hadn't had a secret he intended to tell Elma. "Oh! Tatsu find out Linly still sometimes wets bed!" He jumped from Elma's lap and made a mad dash out of the room, Elma could hear the barrack's door open and close as the Nopon made his escape.
She sighed, hearing that didn't reassure her that her secret would be well kept. Not that what she told Tatsu could do much damage. There might be a few questions but what she worried about more would be Cross feeling guilty for forgetting. He would likely be upset even if it wasn't his fault at all.
Though she tried not to think about it, Tatsu's "secret" did explain some of Lin's odd behavior some mornings. She felt pity towards the girl who had no one to go to about it. Both her mother and father had passed away. She had heard Lin refer to Cross as a father figure so Elma couldn't help but wonder if she was Lin's mother figure.
Her train of thought was broken as she heard a groan from the other side of the room. She looked over to see Cross pushing himself up into a sitting position on the couch. Though he was drowsy, he immediately noticed Elma sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen in her underwear. He gave her a puzzled look.
The woman picked herself up and brushed herself off. "Good morning," she said, no longer bothering to keep her voice low. There wasn't anyone else around to wake up. Cross smiled and greeted her tiredly.
Elma would normally be embarrassed to be seen by a man in her sleepwear but for what ever reason she was unaffected when it was Cross. He never seemed to pay any heed to it, as if she were wearing her normal getup. She stood up and walked over to him, her hips rhythmically swaying side to side with each step but she stopped in front of the couch. Cross could hear a slight sigh of disappointment escape her lips as she looked into his eyes. They were the same as every morning. Like Elma had told Tatsu, she hoped maybe he'd wake up to an 'Ah ha!' moment and magically remember.
She thought for a moment to tell him but shook it off. "Would you like some breakfast?" Elma asked, turning back towards the fridge. "I can scramble us some eggs."
She looked back to see a drowsy Cross smile and nod. She was no cook compared to Lin, but there were few things simpler to cook than eggs. As she pulled out the eggs and a pan, she could hear Cross getting up from the couch. He briefly looked around to see if there was anyone else around. Normally Tatsu was still asleep on the couch when he woke up. He wasn't bothered much by it, though curious what got Tatsu up so early.
Seeing Elma up so early was no surprise. More often than not he would wake up to see her on the opposite side of the room leaning over the mission table looking at information. She was an all business kind of woman, which was why it was a bit odd to see her curled up in the corner that morning.
As Elma cracked the eggs and poured them into a now sizzling pan, Cross pulled two glass cups from the cabinets and a carton of orange juice from the fridge. He poured the juice into the cups before asking Elma if everything was alright, causing her to turn towards him long enough to slide the juice across the counter. Elma effortlessly caught the sliding glass. The juice sloshing about never escaped the cup.
"You don't need to worry about me," Elma assured him, realizing he had taken notice to her odd position on the floor. She averted her gaze back to the eggs, which she began to scramble. Cross furrowed his brow and tilted his head. His train of thought was derailed at the sound of the door to the barracks opening. Tatsu came bouncing in. No doubt he could smell the food.
"Oooh! Elma cooking Tatsu breakfast?" He asked excitedly. To this Elma sighed and pour the eggs evenly into two plates, pushing one to Cross and another to an empty spot on the table for Tatsu, who eagerly jumped onto the counter to eat. Cross gave Elma a look but she grinned and grabbed a few more eggs and cracking them. With that Cross began to eat his eggs.
"Oh!" Tatsu said with his mouth full. "Elma so generous making Tatsu seconds already!" Lin would have smacked Tatsu on the back of the head.
"Sorry Tatsu, these are mine," Elma told him as she scrambled the eggs.
...
"Elma make Tatsu seconds after?"
Cross stifled a laugh, causing Tatsu to turn to him. "Oh! friend Cross awake!" Tatsu noted. He hadn't noticed Cross the entire time, he had been too excited about the food. "Did friend know Elma knew him before he lost memory?"
God damn it, Tatsu.
Elma sighed, though it was her own fault. Tatsu couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it, she knew that. Yet she still told him. Cross asked her if that was true. She glanced over her should for a moment. "It is," was her short answer. Then came the inevitable:
"Why didn't you tell me?"
She could have told him about his past, even if she barely knew him she could at least give him some idea of what had happened to him before the white whale crashed and his memory was lost. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I didn't want..."
She had to concentrate for a moment. She had to think of the right response. She would have done this ahead but she hadn't expected Tatsu to let it slip so quickly. She dumped the eggs on a plate. She looked at the food for a moment before giving it to Tatsu. She was no longer hungry.
Cross could tell she was struggling to find the right thing to say. He tried to not get worked up and remain calm, giving her an apologetic smile.
"I didn't want you to feel obligated," Elma murmured. "I wanted you to make your own decisions. Joining BLADE. your division, your friends, everything really... You might have chose things differently because you believed you used to know me."
She finally managed to look him in the eye. "I just wanted you to decide what you wanted to do, not just do something because some woman wanted you to do it." She smiled. "But it worked out just fine, we still became good friends."
Cross smiled, pushing his plate towards her to offer her some of his eggs. Lord knows Tatsu would never give her's back. Elma smiled and poked the eggs with her fork. It felt good to get that off her chest finally, but there was still more to it than that.
Cross seemed a bit frustrated with himself, running his hand through his hair. Elma knew this would happen. Now he would beat himself up for not remembering.
"Please don't feel bad," Elma told him. "It's not your fault." But Cross seemed unconvinced. She took his hand and looked him in the eye. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before smiling at his team captain.
He asked how they knew each other before he lost his memory. Elma opened her mouth and was about to answer when the front door to the barracks opened and Lin sprung into the room. "You knew Cross before he lost his memory?" She asked with excitement. Elma couldn't help but notice Tatsu panic and duck under the counter.
Elma stammered, for the first time in weeks. She looked at Cross for help, he could see embarrassment written on her face but was unsure why. It wasn't often the commander was flustered like this.
"Elma?" Lin asked, noting the woman's troubled look. But the room fell silent as the sound of Elma's FrontierNav buzzing. She swiped it off the counter, turning it on to see she had a call from Vandham.
"Commander?" She answered, happy to shift the focus in the room.
"Elma?" The Vandham asked. He noticed it was awfully late in the morning for Elma to still be in her sleepwear. "We got a mission for ya. Report to BLADE tower when you can."
With that he ended the call and the FrontierNav shut off. "You heard the man, let's move out," Elma said, trying to stick the device in her pocket when she realized she wasn't wearing her usual gear yet.
"But Elma..." Lin began, hand clenched by her heart. "What about-"
"I said, 'let's move out,' Lin," Elma said sternly before leaving the room to change. Lin looked over at Cross, who shrugged in response, it was apparent he wanted to know what Elma had to say about it even more than Lin did. The young girl's brow furrowed before she stormed off after Elma to her sleeping quarters.
"Elma, what the hell?" Lin asked her as she let herself in. Elma was putting her head through the neck hole of her gear. The commander seemed puzzled. "Why are you avoiding something so important?" Lin took the liberty of blocking the exit so Elma wouldn't escape her this time.
Elma turned her back to Lin as she put on her pants. She had half a mind to ignore the girl but she knew she wasn't leaving the room until Lin was satisfied. Even if Cross came to save her, Lin wouldn't budge. "It's just not that easy, alright?"
"Bullshit."
Elma's eyes widened as she looked to Lin. "That's not how a thirteen year old should be talking, Lin." She warned the girl.
Lin scowled and shook her head. "Don't change the subject," she commanded. It was times like these Elma resented the maturity she normally adored Lin for. "What could possibly make it so hard that you couldn't give Cross his identity back."
The commander stopped dressing for a moment. Lin was right. Cross had never remembered a thing other than his name since Elma had found him in the wilds of Primordia. Elma probably knew more about him than he knew about himself.
…
Swallowing hard, Elma turned to Lin. "Do you think he'll resent me?"
Lin, relaxed from her defensive stance and gave Elma a confused look. "Because you never told him before?" To this Elma nodded. "I was wondering though, why didn't you tell him?"
Elma sat down on her bed, her cheeks slowly glowing red. "Back on the White Whale, in those years of floating through space..." She inhaled deeply. "I met Cross and we, uh... Eventually..."
"Oh my god," Lin covered her hand with her mouth. "You two were a thing?"
Elma nodded, trying to keep her calm composer. "A few months after we met, we got drunk and I told him things I hadn't told almost anyone," as serious as the moment was she couldn't help but smile slightly as she thought fondly of the moment. "One thing led to another and we kissed and did grown up things." Lin gagged, but she was starting to understand why that made things complicated.
"When we crashed and Cross was unaccounted for, I was devastated," Elma shook her head. "I'm not going to lie, he was a big reason why I became a Reclaimer. I always hoped I might find him."
Lin smiled and sat down on the bed next to her leader. "And you did," she said softly. "But it must have been hard when you realize he didn't remember anything."
A sigh escaped Elma's lips as she recalled the moment. "It was a moment of denial," she admitted. "I tried to convince myself that it wasn't him, just another mim that looked like him. But he remembered his name."
She felt a hand fall on her shoulder. "Elma," Lin began. "I'm so sorry."
But Elma was the leader of her group for a reason, she was strong and kept up a calm and serious front. "It'll be fine. I'll go tell him."
As she stood up to leave, Lin pinched the back fabric of her gear and keep her from leaving. "What about Commander Vandham's mission? It sounded important."
Elma's brow furrowed. "Why the sudden change of heart, Lin?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest. "You were all for me telling Cross as soon as possible."
…
Lin had her gaze locked on the floor, she lightly bit her bottom lip and looked to Elma. "I… I guess I didn't realize the stakes…" she murmured. "What if this makes things awkward between us all?" She clenched her hand and held it near to her heart. "Cross… Tatsu… and you… you're all the closest thing to family I had since my parents died."
The was the sound of sobbing outside the door. "Oh, Linly!" Tatsu waddled into the room, jumping into the air and pouncing on the girl, knocking her over onto the bed. "Tatsu think Lily and friends as family too!"
It was as good of a time as ever to slip out of the room to approach Cross. The mission Vandham had was going to have to wait. Elma had held this off for too long, and Cross would likely be distracted from the mission until he knew what she was going to tell him.
She came out too see Cross on the couch he had been sleeping on a while ago, although now he was messing around with his FrontierNav. He had gotten a few new probes and was probably trying to figure out what would be the most profitable setup. That being said his attention must not have been too focused because the minute Elma stepped into the room his head turned towards her.
He had been waiting.
Cross and Elma just stared at each other for a minute, each waiting to see if the other would say something first. Elma eventually cleared her throat, walking over to the couch and sitting across from her teammate. "I just... Before we begin," she started. "I don't want this to change anything between us." Cross tilted his head in confusion before nodding. "I also don't want you to feel any sort of obligations. I've accepted who you are and I'm ready to move on."
Cross swallowed hard. He wasn't sure he was really ready for what Elma had to say, but he also had to know. He told Elma no matter what had happened before it couldn't possibly be enough to ruin the companionship they formed over the last few months.
"The reason this is all so hard is because when we were back of the white whale..." She paused, trying to formulate the best way to phrase what she needed to say. "We were together... as in… as in as lovers."
Cross's brow furrowed.
"You could say we fell in love. At least I love you," she cleared her throat and shook her head. "Loved you." She clenched her teeth and inhaled sharply, closing her eyes and turned her head from the man. She was struggling between finding that balance of honesty and not guilting him into anything. He was more than a friend and she didn't want to lie to him.
"Not loved," she finally admitted, her dark cheeks tinted pink. "I still love you." It felt like the weight of holding secrets was finally lifted from her shoulders only like to be replaced by crushing embarrassment. "But that doesn't have to mean anything." She quickly assured him. "I'm a grown woman, I can learn to live on."
Cross leaned to the side to see Lin and Tatsu peaking from around the corner in the background behind Elma. For the first time since Cross had met her, Elma couldn't keep her commanding eye contact.
"Wow," Cross scratched the back of his head. This was all a little too sudden, not that Elma could have really broken the news to him any gentler without lying or stretching the truth. There was an awkward silence and Cross knew he was going to have to be the one to break it. He asked what else she knew about him before, realizing how close they must of been, she had to know this stuff.
Elma smiled gently, she seemed relieved for the change of topic but her eyes glistened with a hint of disappointment, Cross couldn't help but notice her struggling to keep her composer. She explained to him that he was an engineer on the ship, she related to him what he had told her about his family and life on earth before the explosion. She knew his favorite food, which was why it was one of the first things Lin made when they first brought him in. She related his hobbies and favorite activities.
"You were always fascinated by the stars," Elma explained, swallowing hard. "One of the things you always said you missed the most was... Was lying in the grass at night and..."
"... Watching the sky?" Cross finished her sentence as she was reaching the end of her rope.
"I-I'm sorry," Elma stood up, her vision getting foggy. "I need a moment." She hurried out of the room and into the skell hangar, leaving Cross by himself. He realized how tense he had been, sitting on the edge of his seat. He let out a sigh and flopped down on the couch.
"Cross?"
The man looked over to see Lin walking over to him with Tatsu in her arms. The Nopon seemed uncomfortable with how tightly Lin was unintentionally holding him. "Is... Is everything alright?"
Cross blinked and looked away from the girl. "Did you know?" He asked her.
Lin slowly let go of Tatsu, place him on the floor. "Only as of a few minutes ago," she answered. "It's odd though. I knew Elma a little on the White Whale but I never heard about you. Had she kept the relationship a secret?"
That would certainly make telling people about it that much harder. Elma had been keeping their relationship a secret since before they hit Mira.
"Are you... mad about it?" Lin asked worriedly. Cross knew he had to reassure her, telling her things were going to be alright. He wished Elma had told him sooner but he wasn't too upset about it.
"I've rarely see Elma like this," Lin admitted, looking towards the skell hangar. "She's hasn't been this emotional since her old teammates died in battle. You must really mean a lot to her."
Elma certainly had tried to play it off otherwise but it was pretty apparent her heart and her mind weren't working in union at the moment. Cross stood up and brushed himself off, looking towards the skell hangar with Lin. He asked the girl to give them some privacy for a few minutes. To which Lin smiled and nodded, wishing him luck. Tatsu started to waddle after Cross but Lin grabbed him and dragged him away.
Cross stepped into the hangar to see Elma standing at the other end of the room. Her right arm and forehead were pressed against the wall as she gazed downward. Cross sighed and strolled over towards her. With each quiet step his heart beat faster and faster. The woman always had such a strong composer, to see her like this made Cross feel compelled to hold her in his arms. He never wished to see Elma sad but to see her display this much emotion excited him. The woman noticed him approaching. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Cross, I-"
Elma was cut short as they collided. Cross wrapped his arms around her, gently placing his hand on the back of her head and pressing her against his chest. Her arms wrapped around him upon instinct, linking her arms together and locking him in her grasp.
Elma enjoyed the closeness, it felt like old times. The sound of his beating heart was a little more rapid than usual as he was nervous. A few moments passed and his heart beat slowed.
"Cross..." Elma held him tighter. "I'm so sorry. I just-"
The man shushed her, he didn't want her to feel at fault about anything. Cross could feel Lin and Tatsu watching them, blasted kids.
"You don't have to love me back."
He looked down at Elma. She was so bent on being sure he wasn't bound by his past, as if he had a get out of jail free card for anything he might have ever done. All he had ever wanted was to get his past back. He began to slowly rub her back, Causing her to further melt in his arms.
Then came the real question. "Do you love me, or do you love the old me?"
Elma stiffened a bit at the question. It wasn't ever really something that crossed her mind. "There's never been an old Cross or a new Cross," she looked up at him. "There's just always been you. Memories or not, you're still the same man I fell in love with."
Cross's lips curved into a smile. Telling her that was a good answer, he was going to lean in for a kiss but Elma stopped him.
"I'm... Overwhelmingly happy but," she finally let him go and backed up, leaving her feeling cold. "There's something you need to know before you truly decide what we'll be."
Cross asked her what it was. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Something I told you back on the White Whale, it's something you have to keep a secret, even from Lin, especially Tatsu."
Cross snorted in amusement.
"I'm not human."
Cross's brow furrowed, he asked what she was, trying not to be weirded out, but Elma could tell he was uncomfortable. "I'm an alien from a distant galaxy," she explained. "I helped prepare the humans to escape earth giving them warnings and technology." She began to count all the things on her fingers. "Mims, skells, shields, light speed travel, all come from my galaxy and my species."
Cross still seemed troubled, but couldn't help but feel a bit honored to have such a personal relationship with someone who had literally saved the human race as a species. "I know what you really want to know though," Elma smirked. "I look mostly how I do now, but with different color skin and elf-like ears."
Cross breathed a sigh of relief, worried she might look like a Prone or something unusual. He had given her the exact same reaction back when she had told him on the White Whale. The feeling of how shallow his realized he came across stung, and he apologized.
"I understand," Elma laughed. "I wouldn't date a Ma-non no matter how great a personality he had." The two laughed, the relief of a lightened mood for the first time this morning felt great.
The woman drew closer to Cross and put both her hands on his cheeks. "Where were we?"
Cross smiled before telling her to hold the thought. He drew her to the opposite side of the room where they couldn't been seen.
"Linly! Tatsu can no longer see what's happening!"
"Zip it, tater tot," Lin hissed. She thought they had done so well spying. Maybe Cross just knew them too well.
Elma smiled gently, appreciating the privacy. Reaching out she grabbed Cross's head and pulled him in for a kiss. His lips were just as she remembered them. Oh how she had missed this.
This provoked her to deepen the kiss, she could feel Cross place his hands on her hips, finally beginning to return the affection and kiss her back. She drew back for a moment, their lips parting as Cross looked at her in confusion. They hadn't kissed that long.
"You never said it," Elma murmured, a little embarrassed and feeling petty. "I-I want to hear you say it." She looked away.
Cross was confused by what she meant for a moment before he smiled and cupped her chin and turned her gaze back towards him.
"I love you."
The words sent shivers down her spine as pleasant memories filled her mind. Cross had been her light in those two years of the darkness of space. "Say it again."
"I love you, Elma."
The woman smiled again and cupped his cheek. "I love you too, Cross."
To that their lips met again. Cross couldn't quite place it but the kiss tasted and felt familiar. He could only guess it had do with the fact that this was not his first kiss with Elma. He grunted slightly but smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Elma had been missing this since they landed in Mira she wasn't letting the moment end too quickly.
No more secrets, no more guilt, Elma felt like a free woman. Eventually she remembered her call from Vandham and they separated. "We should report in," she said, unwrapping her arms around Cross. "Vandham is probably wondering where we are." With that she pecked Cross on the cheek and started to walk away.
"Go brush your teeth, morning breath," Elma called back.
The quiet hum of the skell flight module rang in Cross's ears. It was late in the night and he was kind of tired, especially after the mission Vandham had given them. But Elma insisted the two of them were going out into Primordia. So he tailed behind Elma's skell, flying high in the air, the indegins down below seemed so small and non-threatening when they were so far up. Cross let out a yawn, throwing his head back a little.
"Just a little farther, Cross," Elma's voice sounded through the cockpit, communicating from her skell. Cross found he was unused to the commander calling him anything other than "rookie." Not that he was complaining.
Elma landed her skell on the huge over arching structure that always loomed over Primordia. Cross landed beside her and they both exited their skells. Elma approached Cross and looked at him for a moment before sheepishly taking his hand. "Over here," she told him as she guided him up the structure. "Back on the White Whale the thing you said you missed the most back on earth was lying in the grass at night and watching the sky."
Cross turned his gaze upward, his eyes widening to see how filled with stars the sky was. Away from the lights of New LA and so high up, the sky glistened more than ever before with stars everywhere. He looked at Elma and smiled, thanking her for bringing him there to see.
Elma smiled and sat down in the grass, Cross following suit and sitting down beside her. They both lied down, the man found it hard to take his gaze off the sky. Elma on the other hand, rolled on her side, wrapping an arm around Cross and resting her head on his chest. It was fascinating to see her act so tenderly. He smiled and gently ran his hand through her hair.
"I missed you," Elma murmured.
"I missed you too."
This is meant to be a one-shot. I might write other one-shots that are loosely connected to this story though. We'll see. Feedback is always super appreciated.