Rating: M for sex, language and other adult themes.
Pairing: Gabriella/Troy
Type: Oneshot
Disclaimer: If I owned HSM, do you think I'd be sitting at my laptop typing this crap right now? Nope, I'm only borrowing some characters, purely for entertainment purposes. :)
Hey! This is like nothing I've written before, but my fingers were just itching to write something dark, with some things that have been going on in my life lately. I have no idea how accurate this story is, or even if it's any good, but I decided to post it anyway, instead of just having it sit in a folder on my computer. I don't write Troyella much either. Actually, I never write Troyella, but I just felt like I should this time. Anyway, like it or not, I'd love for you to review this, and constructive critisicm is always welcome. Who knows, if I get enough comments, I might turn this into an actual story, instead of just a oneshot.
Thanks for reading! :)
Amy xo
When Gabriella Montez was ten years old she broke her wrist.
It hadn't been anything too serious, simply a tiny hairline fracture. Like you would expect from any ten-year-old, it had been a careless accident, the result of refusing to use the brakes on her new purple bicycle. At the time, Gabriella had never felt pain like it before, and she'd sobbed and sobbed for an hour straight, until the friendly nurse at the hospital managed to calm her down.
It was when Gabriella turned thirteen, she became aware of a new kind of pain: a broken heart.
Tipsy had been the best dog in the world, the most loyal, playful and friendly golden retriever that anyone could imagine. In so many ways, the dog had been her very best friend, and Gabriella had been beside herself when he passed away. She'd been lost without him, and missed school for almost two weeks, simply because she couldn't stop crying. Gabriella would have taken ten more broken wrists if it meant bringing Tipsy back, but she'd simply had to face the fact that he was gone, and finally, when she embraced that fact, her broken heart began to heal. It was a slow process, but she got there within a few months, and everyone who knew her had been relieved to see her smile again. Now, whenever she thought of Tipsy, it was a passing thought, a happy one.
It was that year Gabriella met Troy Bolton.
It had been the first day back at school, the start of 8th grade, when Troy was introduced to the class, having moved from California. Gabriella, with her curly hair and braces, had been infatuated with him since she first laid eyes on him, and to her surprise, Troy had seemed to like her back. There was just something about him, with his obvious charm and good looks, that made it impossible not to crush on him.
For several months, the two flirted back and forth, whether it was text messages, group trips to the bowling alley, or passing notes in science class. Gabriella would read these messages out at sleepovers and her best friends would sigh with envy, and Troy would blush and defend himself when his friends teased him about the goofy smile he wore when his phone vibrated, signalling a text from 'Gabby'.
Finally, one evening in the park, after their friends had gone home, Troy had plucked up the courage to tell Gabriella how he felt. The exact words used were "I kind of, um, have this, uh, crush on you", but to Gabriella, those shy words had been just as good as a love declaration. Eyes shining, and a blush across her cheeks, she'd repeated the words to him, and Troy had chuckled lightly, just as embarrassed as she was. He reached to take her hand then, sweaty palm meeting sweaty palm.
Their first date had been to the cinema, and both teenagers still cringed when they thought back to how awful it had been. Buying the tickets and popcorn had been fine, but as they sat in a darkened theatre, waiting for the movie to start, neither of them could think of a thing to say. The usually-fluent conversation between them had been strained, and after a few minutes, Troy somehow knocked the entire bucket of popcorn into Gabriella's lap. He apologized at least thirty times as she brushed the popcorn from her clothes, insisting that it was fine, that it wasn't a big deal.
During the movie, Troy was lost. He didn't know whether he was supposed to put his arm around her,, take her hand, or what. Gabriella had sat forward slightly in her chair, looking as though she was intrigued by the movie, but she could sense Troy's internal struggle. After all, neither of them had ever been on a date before. This was all unexplored territory, and they were both hyper-aware of the tiniest movement that the other made. Finally Troy decided on resting his arm on the back of Gabriella's chair, and Gabriella giggled slightly, when she knew it was there. Feeling a sudden little spurt of confidence, she'd moved back, and Troy's arm was suddenly around her. Their eyes had met in the dark theatre, blushes on their cheeks, but smiles on their faces all the same.
Their first kiss had been that night too, and both teenagers used exactly the same word to describe the experience: clumsy. They'd sat on the wall at the bottom of Gabriella's street, hand-in-hand, the conversation flowing slightly easier. Both of them knew it was coming. Whenever their eyes met, Gabriella would bite her lip, and Troy would swallow in anticipation. Neither of them really knew what to do. Gabriella had turned her head away, after a few seconds of awkward silence, and Troy took that opportunity to move a little closer to her, his head leaning towards her, ready for when she turned around. That had been a bad move. When Gabriella spun around quickly to point out a cute little cat in the bushes, Troy's forehead had collided with hers, causing them both to let out a yelp of pain. Again, Troy had apologized over and over, again Gabriella insisted that it wasn't his fault, and then after another few silent seconds, the young couple had moved their heads ever so slightly to the same side, causing Troy to quickly make a detour to the other side so that there would be no more collisions, and then their had lips met, in a quick, shy kiss.
The kiss itself had been perfect.
The head-bumping? Not so much. Both had light bruises for a couple of days afterwards.
Since then though, the two had been inseperable. They'd stuck out all the awkwardness and uncertainty until the relationship had become strong, and filled with trust and familiarity.
They grew up together. Troy was the first person to see Gabriella after she'd had her braces taken off, and she was the first person to congratulate him when they moved to high school together, where he immediately gained a spot on the basketball team. Their families adored each other, so they often showed up at each other's houses unannounced, and nobody minded. They'd leave each other spontaneous notes in their lockers, order lunch for each other, buy random little gifts, and share every secret.
It was the little things, that made Gabriella so happy. If they were walking down the mall with each other, and a random girl made eyes at Troy, he would pretend not to notice, but would move closer to Gabriella and touch her in some way, laden with shopping bags or not. If it was a boy, who checked Gabriella out, Troy's eyes would automatically darken, and he would stare the boy out, staking his claim, and almost daring him to make a move. Troy always won. The boy would always be the first to lower his head and walk away, and Gabriella would giggle. She loved his possessiveness, and understood it completely. She herself despised even hearing a girl sigh over Troy in gym class, when he really couldn't help looking so goddamn irresistible...
It was the way he looked at her. His sparkling blue eyes had this way of making her melt. She often noticed him staring at her, not saying a word, simply looking, but she couldn't understand it. He looked at her as though she was the rarest jewel on the entire planet, his eyes taking in every inch of her. She couldn't quite comprehend why he looked at her like that, when he could easily have his pick out of every single girl in the entire school, but she wasn't complaining. She loved it, when he would whisper in her ear that she was all his, and he was all hers.
When they were sixteen, they said it.
For his birthday, Troy had inherited an old black Chevy truck, and even though it wasn't the most stylish vehicle in the world, he loved it. He and Gabriella would often go for drives to random places, and then sit in the back with some sort of food, whether it was Chinese take-out or cupcakes that Gabriella had made.
That night was no exception. It was ten-thirty, and they were on some random country road, where it was completely quiet, and only lit up by the stars. This time, they had sandwiches that they'd made together earlier, bottles of soda, and chocolate-chip cookies, stolen from Troy's mom. It was nearly winter, and Gabriella had been touched when Troy had brought out blankets and pillows, so that they would be warmer as they sat in the back of the truck, looking up at the stars, stating that he didn't want her to get a cold.
Propped up with pillows and covered with the blankets, they'd lay together, Troy's arm wrapped firmly around Gabriella's waist, holding her as close to him as he possibly could. Her head had rested on his chest, thanks to the height difference between them, and he'd tenderly kissed the top of her head, breathing in her strawberry shampoo before clearing his throat.
"Gabriella." His voice had been husky, and she looked up at him, a small smile on her face.
"Yeah?"
Troy hadn't hesitated, simply taken a deep breath and smiled back at her, calmly. "I love you. You're my entire world Gabby, you make me so happy."
Gabriella's mouth had parted a little, and her eyes had filled with emotional tears as she took in the words. For some reason, she found it hard to believe that he could possibly love her as much as she loved him.
"I love you too," She'd breathed, her hand reaching up to touch his cheek. "So, so much."
They'd kissed then, slowly at first, romantically. One of his hands had remained at her waist, whilst the other rested on the back of her neck, rubbing it lightly with his thumb. Gabriella's hands had stroked through his hair as he'd deepened the kiss, his tongue gliding over her lower lip before she automatically granted him access to her own tongue.
Gabriella had felt dizzy, when the kiss had come to an end. How was it possible for someone to feel so happy, so loved? Surely not all relationships were like this? All of her friends were envious of their relationship, saying that the guys they dated were nothing like Troy was. She'd smiled at that thought, snuggling back into Troy's chest, relishing the last half hour she could spend with him, before they'd have to start heading back home to meet curfew. She'd taken one of his large hands in both of her own and played absent-mindedly with his fingers, unable to believe how lucky she was. Troy was simply special.
Their first time had happened just after Troy had turned seventeen. Gabriella had a couple of months to go, before she could reach the same age. His parents were out of town, at some work conference for the weekend, and of course he'd invited her to spend the night. She'd known that it was going to happen the second the invitation had left his lips, even though his invite hadn't implied anything at all, and instead of fear, excited butterflies had filled her stomach.
Troy had made an effort, because he somehow knew that it was going to happen too. He cleaned his room, changed his sheets, and even bought a few candles, spreading them out over his room. When she rang the doorbell, she was greeted with flowers, and she'd laughed at his dorkiness, though loved every moment of it.
They'd watched movies and made dinner together until it got late, and when they'd been making out on the couch for a good half-hour, Troy had asked her if she was tired. Gabriella, her heart pounding, had said no, but maybe they could go to Troy's bedroom anyway. They hadn't really spoken about sex, but they knew each other so well, that there wasn't really anything to say, and seeing the questions and excitement in Gabriella's eyes,Troy had swallowed and agreed, turning the TV off and taking her by the hand to his room, where he'd already lit the candles and dimmed the lights. Gabriella had laughed once again, touched, but blushed too, and Troy had kissed her, shutting her up. They'd moved to the bed then, and slowly peeled off each other's clothes, savouring both the moment, and each other's bodies.
They'd taken things as slow as possible, kissing every inch of each other's skin, hands running over previously unexplored areas, both wanting to discover everything they possibly could about the other.
Eventually it was time to take things further, and seeing the sudden fear in Gabriella's eyes, Troy had leaned close and whispered to her, such sweet words, that Gabriella wanted to cry. She kissed him lightly on the lips and nodded confidently.
"Trust me, baby." Troy had breathed, his lips leaving a trail of kisses from her jaw line all the way down to her navel.
"I do." Gabriella whimpered in response as Troy's tongue circled her belly button. "Always."
And then Troy had entered her very slowly, stopping all movements every couple of seconds to make sure that Gabriella was okay. It had hurt of course, there was no denying that, but she refused to let him stop completely, and she'd squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip, guiding him in even further, knowing that it would be mostly over soon.
"Are you okay?" He'd breathed, tense, hating the fact that he was causing her pain.
She'd managed a smile then, at his concern, realizing once again, that she was truly lucky. Not many guys were as sweet as Troy was. Her eyes had snapped open and she looked at him, her cheeks filling with colour as she realized the position they were in. Nevertheless, she didn't feel uncomfortable at all. There was no shyness, only pure trust. "I'm fine."
And Troy had began to move then, slowly, kind of awkwardly, and Gabriella had wrinkled her nose at the stinging, the uncomfort. But then, something amazing happened, and the pain gave way to something a whole lot nicer, and as Troy began to move faster, she'd clung to his back and the sheets, chanting his name repeatedly, unable to help herself. She'd never felt anything like it.
Gabriella reached her climax first, mainly because Troy held back, using every inch of his self-control, wanting the whole experience to be perfect for both of them. But as she'd cried out and writhed on the sheets below him, he wasn't able to hold on anymore, and he came too, whispering her name into her hair, swearing softly.
"Gabriella... Fuck."
And then he'd collapsed beside her, their bodies tangled together in a sweaty mess, their breaths coming in short, quick gasps. And Gabriella had never been happier, never felt more complete.
And it had stayed that way for almost a year, before things began to change.
Applying for college brought out the bad side in everyone. Not only was there endless applications to fill in and interviews to go to, but there were final exams too, and Gabriella and Troy barely saw each other, with the amount of studying that they had to do. Besides, even when they did see each other, it was always the same story. It would start out somewhat pleasant, before some tiny little thing made the happy couple turn into a pair of stressed-out and angry teenagers, with sharp tongues.
It wasn't just the stress of becoming adults though. Something had changed in their relationship. They were beginning to take each other for granted, skipping dates, not calling back, even noticing other people's good looks when they were out with their friends. The passion that had once been there, the thrill of experiencing everything new in a relationship with each other, seemed to have disappeared. On good, argument-free nights, they slept together and made out as normal, but only because it seemed like they should, not because they couldn't wait to tear each other's clothes off and experience that indescribable feeling of sheer satisfaction, like they once did.
On not so good nights, all they did was yell at each other, Troy's eyes dark with anger, and Gabriella's bright with frustrated tears, as her petite body shook with rage. It was getting worse and worse. Troy had walked out of her house a few times, Gabriella had flung things at the wall, hit him on the chest. They screamed at each other, so loudly, that parents and sometimes neighbours had come to check that everything was okay. Gabriella was growing tired of it, was even becoming nervous when the time came to meet Troy. She was sick to death of those arguments and confrontations, and although she knew that it was reaching the unbearable stage, she couldn't bear to give Troy an ultimatum, and let everything between them go to waste.
On a cloudy day, the day after exams had officially finished and summer started, Troy took Gabriella to the park five minutes away from her home, where he confessed that he'd been offered a scholarship to the university of Albuquerque, where they wanted him to play on the basketball team.
"Oh, that's amazing." Gabriella had said, the tone of her voice accidentally flat, because that was kind of a problem. She herself was going to Stanford – over a thousand miles from Albuquerque. Would they be able to handle the separation? "What are we-"
Troy had interrupted her, shooting her a sad smile as he took her hand. "Let me finish." He took a deep breath.
And it was then that Gabriella knew that something was wrong. Horribly wrong. The look in her eyes turned slightly alarmed and even though Troy's warm hand held hers, she didn't hold it back.
"That said," he'd continued. "Maybe the separation between our schools is for the best."
Gabriella had looked up at him, her mouth turning completely dry.
"I love you Gabby." Troy had said quietly. "But I don't think it's working anymore."
It was at that moment that Gabriella's heart broke once again into a billion pieces. She felt as though she had been kicked in the stomach. She was unable to say a word.
"It's not you." Troy said, quick to reassure her of that. "Definitely not. Gabriella, you're the most amazing person I've ever met. You're so beautiful, and funny, and insanely nice to everyone. I've never met anyone like you."
Troy, always the sweetheart, had been trying to make her feel better, but it didn't work. With every compliment, Gabriella's heart broke a little more. So why then, was he willing to give her up?
"It's just... Everything's changing now Gabs, with college and everything. We've been arguing so much lately, and I can't fucking do it anymore." His voice turned slightly bitter and he squeezed her hand. "I hate it, fighting with you."
Gabriella had wanted to hate him right then, for doing this to her, for making her feel so small, but she couldn't. She knew that he was right, but that didn't stop hurt and desperation from flooding through her, making her want to collapse on the ground.
"We've been together since we were thirteen," He said, his voice now kind of sad. "And the separation is just going to push us further apart than we've already been feeling lately. So doesn't it make sense to try living without each other for a while?"
Gabriella had nodded weakly, knowing that he was right, of course. The arguments had obviously affected him just as strongly as they'd affected her, but he was the one who was brave enough to do something about the way he was feeling.
"You're an asshole." She said, her voice breaking, wanting so much to actually mean those words. Troy was anything but that.
She'd refused to look at him, but Troy had let out a bitter laugh and moved his hand to her chin, forcing brown eyes to meet blue. Both pairs were bright with unfallen tears. It killed Troy to do this too. "I know I am."
He'd leaned close then, and kissed her forehead, the most gentle of kisses. Her eyelids had fluttered closed. "I love you Gabriella."
She'd nodded again, unable to say the words back to him. Unable even, to open her eyes.
He let her go and stood up, his throat thick. "Good luck with college... Stanford. You're going to be amazing. I'll uh, I'll email you, maybe."
Gabriella's eyes had flickered open then, and met his once more, the sincerity and finality in his voice making her feel like she couldn't breathe.
It was Troy who nodded this time, acknowledging the fact that it really was over between them now. "Goodbye, Gabs."
And with that, he'd turned away, walking down the path that would lead him to the car park. He had to drive home, where Gabriella only had to walk a couple of minutes, so it wasn't as if he was abandoning her alone in a public park. He'd chosen the perfect place to do it, the perfect time. It was summer now– they wouldn't run into each other with all the hysteria of college, they wouldn't see each other in the hallway at school... She'd watched him leave, trying to gather the strength to go after him, beg him to reconsider, but she couldn't. She'd felt completely numb.
And she'd known then, that she would never, ever, feel any worse than she did at that moment. It was a thousand times worse than a broken wrist, a hundred times worse than grieving for Tipsy. Troy, her entire world, had just walked out of her life.
Three months on, Gabriella still felt the same, if not even worse. She was in California now, attending Stanford University and living in a little dorm room with another girl, Jules, who was very active, and always out doing something, never home. This suited Gabriella just fine. She preferred to be alone.
Gabriella replayed all those memories in her head as she sat at her laptop, the tears dripping silently down her cheeks as they always did when she thought of everything that she and Troy had been. Gabriella had hit rock bottom. The once-bright, always smiling brunette had fallen in a hole full of darkness and desperation, which she wasn't able to get out of.
No-one knew the extent of how depressed Gabriella was. Not anymore.
For the first month, Gabriella had felt nothing at all after That Day. She simply lay on her bed in the foetal position, not sleeping, not eating, not talking, not even crying. All she did was stare at the wall, where a board full of pictures of herself and Troy had once hung, which her mother had removed immediately after Gabriella had broken the news. Her actions, or more inappropriately, lack of actions, had terrified her mother. Mrs Montez had watched helplessly, as her daughter had grown paler and skinnier with each passing day. The shadows under her eyes had gotten ridiculously dark, proof that she wasn't sleeping. Mrs Montez had begged and begged Gabby to call Troy at least, to try and talk this through. She hated seeing her only daughter so broken. But Gabriella refused, insisting flatly that he was right.
In complete contrast to the silence of the first month, Gabriella had a complete turn around during the second. No longer did she lie on her bed, not speaking, but she cried and cried, heavy sobs that made her eyes blood-shot and swollen, sometimes bad enough to make her throw-up, even. Just hearing the sobs was truly heartbreaking, at least for Mrs Montez, who couldn't do anything to stop them.
And when Gabriella didn't cry, she yelled. She yelled at her mother for bringing her the wrong drink, she yelled at the pizza-guy for getting their order wrong, she yelled at her friends because of their endless attempts to get her out of the house, when all she wanted was to be alone. She was just so angry, at everyone and anything, and at the same time she was full of sadness.
Out of complete despair, Mrs Montez had tried to get Gabriella to see a doctor. That hadn't worked out so well. One thing that her mother had learned, was that her daughter despised talking about what had happened and how she was feeling. She'd seen the doctor only twice, before declaring in front of both him and her mother, that they were both 'complete bastards' and that they could 'fuck right off' and leave her alone.
So Mrs Montez had tried that, leaving her in peace with the theory that time would heal her.
It didn't. Sure, Gabriella stopped the anger and tears, when she realized how frightened her mother was on her behalf, but she wasn't better. She broke contact with all of her friends, and refused to go out altogether. Everything and everywhere had a memory of Troy. It was bad enough having to sleep in the same bed, where he'd once cradled her in his arms. Bad enough, having to go through her wardrobe to find his hoodie, which he'd let her keep. She remembered it so clearly, him passing his basketball hoodie over to her, saying, "Babe, you look so much better in this than I do. Keep it. Please, I want you to have it", with that beautiful grin of his.
Gabriella had dumped that shirt in a box, along with a few other items of his that she had, like some CDs and DVDs, pictures, and just random little keepsakes, but she'd quickly dug it out again at the last minute, shoving it in her case to take to college with her. She simply couldn't bear to part with it.
Ah, college. Everyone had hoped that Gabriella would change there. Mrs Montez had been reluctant to let her go, especially when she was still clearly messed-up, even though she tried hard not to show it, but Gabriella had been insistent on leaving town, on getting away from everything that reminded her of Troy.
She'd even hoped herself, that at college she'd forget about him. She hoped that she'd suddenly grow into a social butterfly, thanks to the new surroundings. That hadn't worked out. She'd seen happy couples, groups of friends, and suddenly felt more lonelier than ever and unable to face anyone, so once again, she did nothing but hide in her room.
Gabriella wanted more than anything to snap out of this spiral of gloom and loneliness, but she just didn't have the confidence. The break-up had completely shattered her, leaving her a broken shell of a once-carefree girl. She woke up every morning in a cloud of grey, and that cloud only intensified as the day passed. She glided through her classes unnoticed, never speaking, never interacting with other students. She'd go to the store most days after school, pick up the essential food and toiletries, then go back home, eat, and avoid calls from her mother, pretending to her that she was out with friends and new guys every night. She was too scared to socialize now, too scared that someone else would end up putting her through this. Gabriella hated feeling so helpless.
Of course, she'd known that the relationship between Troy and her was sinking. She knew that it had been for a while, that it wasn't getting any better. She'd known that it would have to end eventually. It was the fact that she'd lost her best friend that broke her, the fact that she'd lost all sense of comfort. Troy was the one who had solved all of her problems; it was just a talent that he'd had. Troy couldn't fix this problem now. No-one could, only Gabriella herself. And she was too scared to put herself out there again, to open up to anyone but Troy.
And she knew that she would. If Troy was to call her at that moment and ask her to get back together with him, she'd say yes before he could even finish the question. She knew that it wasn't healthy – their relationship really had hit rock-bottom when Troy had ended it, but she couldn't help but think it would be different, if she did things differently. Maybe if she'd just kept her mouth shut in the arguments, let him have his way, then she wouldn't be in this mess now?
And yet, she also knew that going over everything in her head continuously was a really unhealthy way to think.
Troy had emailed her a couple of times, just like she said he would. Troy was a good guy like that, always keeping his promises. But the emails had been so impersonal, that Gabriella hadn't even been able to bring herself to reply. She longed for the days of pointless conversations, cute nicknames and a zillion kisses, instead of "Hey, Gabriella. Just wondering how California is treating you? UofA is a blast, just the same as high school, really, but better. I bet the weather is always great there? Troy."
Gabriella had scoffed at the email, after the expected crying-jag. Who asked about the weather, really?
To sum it up, she wasn't the same without him. She'd somehow convinced herself that he was a part of her, that she needed him to survive. He was the one who made her happy, up until the last few months, and now that he was gone, her happiness was gone too.
In her room, Gabriella continued to cry, not a sound passing her lips – a talent that she'd perfected, in order to hide her emotions from her mother. Slowly, she made her way to her tiny wardrobe and pulled out the soft red and white hoodie at the bottom. She stayed silent as she examined it in her hands, remembering how it looked on him, how it looked on her even, when she used to wear it. She hadn't put it on in a long time.
She put it on now, slipping it over her head gracefully, before walking over to the wall mirror, keeping her hands hidden in the sleeves as she took in her appearance. She swallowed.
The hoodie was much too big for her.
Of course, it had been big before, but now you could barely tell that there was a body under there. It gave away no hints of Gabriella's tiny frame at all. She'd lost weight, a lot of it. Even her face looked thinner.
Her hair hung in flat, messy strands down her face, though the majority of it was pinned back in an untidy ponytail. Still, what did she expect? She'd made no effort at all.
She looked only slightly better than what she felt.
Gabriella knew she was unhealthy right now, and the sudden burst of choking, guilty sobs as she stared at herself proved that, though she wasn't brave enough to change anything yet. She needed Troy, if she had any hope of changing at all. At least, that was that she told herself.
Breathing in huge gulps of air in an attempt to control herself, Gabriella suddenly turned away from the mirror, unable to look at herself any longer. If she was back at home, she'd have grabbed something to fling at the mirror, but it belonged to her room-mate too, and she couldn't give in to her anger.
Instead, without pausing even for a second, she tore the hoodie from her head, dropped it on her bed and raced into the shared bathroom, heading straight for her little medicine cupboard after she'd closed and locked the door behind her, searching through it quickly until she found what she wanted.
Troubled Gabriella had found a small solution to her problems, a solution that offered her a few minutes of sheer relief, where she'd forget everything that had happened. And really, that was all she wanted. To forget. To feel better.
Gabriella managed the tiniest of smiles, more like a smirk, when she found the item she was looking for. Holding it tightly in her hand, she made her way to the toilet and sat down on the closed seat, breathing out a steady sigh.
Gabriella dumped the bag of disposable razors on the back edge of the toilet when she'd picked one out, and sat quietly as she broke apart the plastic on the small tool until she was left with just the blade. She rested the small strip of silver metal on the edge of the sink, whilst she quickly threw the plastic in the trash can, and put the bag away, biting her lip at the fact that she'd need it again tomorrow, and not just for shaving her legs.
Gabriella turned the faucet on quickly, watching for a few seconds as the cold water streamed from the tap and down the drain, disappearing.
Looking away from the water, Gabriella picked up the dull piece of metal in her right hand and examined it, the expression on her face blank and hard. The transformation in Gabriella over the last several months had been beyond words – indescribable. She used to wear a smile so bright that it was contagious, and now, no-one ever saw that smile.
Suddenly holding her left arm out and resting it on the edge of the sink, Gabriella brought the blade over to her left wrist, hesitating for a second.
Troy.
He'd scream at her in total fury if he knew she was doing this.
It was that thought that made Gabriella suddenly dig the sharp metal into her skin, letting out a little gasp as she dragged it across the delicate flesh, leaving a harsh, red mark.
Troy.
Unsatisfied, she re-traced the line, sucking in all her breath as she did so, glaring at her skin when only a tiny prick of blood appeared at the beginning of the mark.
Troy.
Once again, she dragged the cool blade over the line, letting out an almost-inaudible whimper as the metal cut through her skin, a shiny line of blood appearing on her fragile wrist.
Gabriella swore under her breath as the pain hit her – a sharp stinging. But still, it wasn't enough. She could still hear his name in her head, see the much-too-perfect smile on his face in her mind.
Troy. Troy. Troy.
The brunette, letting the anger and hurt take over her again, dug the metal into her skin once more, starting on another mark, an older one, a little further up her arm. She cursed and gasped repeatedly as she continuously traced the line, drops of blood beginning to appear, slowly running down to meet the others.
Troy Bolton.
Soon, Gabriella wasn't able to think of the boy that had caused her so much pain, both emotionally and physically. All she could focus on was the stinging that had completely taken over her arm.
Dropping the blood-stained blade in the sink, wincing slightly at the sound of metal hitting metal, Gabriella stared at her left arm, now smeared with blood.
Feeling an overwhelming amount of pain and relief, Gabriella held her arm under the running water then, letting out yet another curse as the water stung the cuts even more. She watched as the water ran red for a second and then closed her eyes, simply letting herself experience the rare feeling of being free, rather than being haunted by him.
When she opened her eyes again, a minute or two later, the blood was gone. Her arm was still stinging, but it wasn't quite as intense as it had been. Slowly, it was dying down to a dull throbbing. Gabriella looked down at her thin limb, staring down at the cuts and scars that covered the skin. She always tried her best to keep the cuts in the one place, so it wasn't as noticeable, but her little habit, her little method of relief, was becoming harder and harder to hide.
She didn't care.
She liked feeling numb, drained of all emotion.
Even if it was only temporary.
Gabriella reached to turn off the tap then, and gingerly picked up the strip of metal, dropping it in the trash can, before breathing out a steady sigh and making her way back into the bedroom. Her stomach lurched, when she saw the hoodie on her bed, but she simply pushed it to the floor, before sliding under the covers and hugging her knees to her chest, not focusing on anything but the painful sensations in her arm.
It was only nine o'clock at night, and Gabriella had homework to do, but she ignored those facts and closed her eyes, burrowing further under the covers, waiting desperately for the sleep to take over. She loved sleeping. In her dreams, she didn't have to think about what had happened.
Gabriella let out a yawn after a couple of minutes, as a sudden feeling of drowsiness hit her, and it wasn't long before her breathing turned calm, steady. But as the sleep overtook her, she couldn't help but think of those two little words, words that would leave her just as depressed tomorrow morning, as she had been today.
Troy Bolton.
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